A/N: Hi guys, so I normally write a lot of dialogue and less descriptions, but I thought it was absolutely necessary for this chapter. Dumbledore doesn't really talk to anyone about Harry, I don't think - so we can only look into his thoughts. Hopefully it's not too boring. Dumbledore's relationship with Harry is what is controversial about him - he was only using Harry and he deserved a good bashing for it, etc. I thought this chapter was necessary to ground it.
The vast majority of this is taken directly from canon. I'm going to leave a long list of all the canon I use at the end. I'm listing every piece of canon this came from because I know there might be some readers that are not Dumbledore fans.
Amy - Yes, I know, I hate all the Dumbledore bashing! It is so sad - I don't think JK Rowling meant to have so many people view him as a horrible person, because Harry ended up naming his second son after him. And yes, Andrea is a stupid bitch! She's a self-absorbed person. I don't exactly think she's a really bad person or anything - she's just self-absorbed, but on the inside very insecure. I'm glad you like Fallon - I like her too.
Red Furry Demon - I'm glad you found the last chapter funny! That was how I intended it to be. Fallon is a character I completely made up. I think Albus needed a girl as a friend, so I gave him one! False lies, yeah, will you believe me that I read through that chapter 5 times before I submitted it? So frustrating - there's probably going to be a few things wrong with this chapter too. And yeah, I'm going to use slang only sparingly - I wish I knew how they talked in the 1890s, but I don't. I can barely manage today's British slang!
"I don't want to say too much, but Dumbledore is a very wise man who knows that Harry is going to have to learn a few hard lessons to prepare him for what may be coming in his life. He allows Harry to get into what he wouldn't allow another pupil to do and he also unwillingly permits Harry to confront things he'd rather protect him from."
- JK Rowling, 2003
"Although [Dumbledore] seems to be so benign for six books, he's quite a Machiavellian figure, really. He's been pulling a lot of strings. Harry has been his puppet."
- JK Rowling, 2007
"I devote an entire chapter to the whole Potter-Dumbledore relationship. It's been called unhealthy, even sinister. ... [T]here is no question that Dumbledore took an unnatural interest in Potter from the word go."
-Rita Skeeter, Deathly Hallows
Amy Beam, an Unspeakable for the Ministry of Magic, had just finished listening and watching to Albus Dumbledore's memory in the Department of Mysteries' own Pensieve. Her hazel eyes were wide and her face was full of astonishment. Albus remembered her as a student at Hogwarts; she had graduated fifteen years ago – or was it closer to twenty now?
"My God," she muttered faintly. "My God."
"You do agree that it is a real prophecy then, Amy?" asked Albus with a grim expression.
"Absolutely!" she said at once. "Yes, definitely. This is… this is some prophecy, Professor Dumbledore."
"Amy, you are no longer a student. Please call me Albus."
Amy shook her wavy brown hair, looking a bit nervous of the prospect of calling Albus Dumbledore by his first name. A silence settled between them in which Amy stared thoughtfully at the Pensieve that was placed on the desk between them and Albus sat across from her patiently, waiting for her to speak. He was quite certain he understood what the prophecy meant, but Albus did not pretend to be an expert on prophecies. Amy was the expert here.
"This is a very… relevant… prophecy," Amy finally said.
"You believe this boy will be born at the end of this coming July?"
"Oh, definitely. Whoever he is, he will present himself to you soon, Prof – er – Albus. You will know who he is because he will cross paths with you, one way or another."
"Cross paths with me?" said Albus in surprise. "What makes you think this?"
"Sir," said Amy very seriously, "prophecies are not made to just anybody. You were meant to hear this prophecy. Not me, not another man, not anyone else. You, Albus Dumbledore. This Seer gave you this prophecy for a reason. It was destiny."
Why did Unspeakables always have to talk in riddles?
"But why me? What am I supposed to do?"
She took a deep breath before saying, very slowly and deliberately, "You are the leader in the war against You-Know-Who. You are the leader of the Order of the Phoenix and you are the headmaster of the school where all British young go to learn magic. It is therefore logical that you are meant to protect and guide this boy, whoever he is. Protect him, teach him, and train him up until he is ready to face You-Know-Who on his own. You will have a large impact on shaping his life. Your connection to this boy is fate."
Two thoughts went through Albus' head as he sat in silence. The first one was I feel bad for this boy, whoever he is. The second thought was I'm getting too old for this.
"You are responsible for guiding him to success," Amy whispered so quietly Albus could barely hear her. "You are meant to be a guiding force in his life, visibly… or invisibly."
This exchange took place over fifteen years ago.
The present day Albus Dumbledore opened his eyes and stared ahead blankly, thinking. He was sitting alone in the large kitchen of Grimmauld Place. It was past midnight and Albus knew he was making a mistake by not trying to get some sleep. He hadn't been sleeping much anymore and he was exhausted, but he could not stop thinking – about Voldemort, about Fudge… about Harry.
Harry was too good of a person to deserve this life that had been handed to him.
Amy Beam had been right. Albus was supposed to be Harry's protector. Albus had taken this role very seriously, and he immediately opted for guiding Harry invisibly. He had done everything he could to protect Harry from the moment it became clear that the prophecy was about him, starting with the Fidelius charm. But it seemed like he had failed miserably.
He knew, right now, Harry Potter was angry and unhappy. He knew the Dursleys were hateful and cruel to him. He knew this from early on. At the age of four, Harry had come to Arabella Figg's house with a black eye. Petunia said he had fallen on the playground, but Arabella did not believe it, and neither did Albus. Harry told Arabella that it was from Dudley. Albus was faced with the difficult choice: should he forfeit the blood protection and remove Harry from Privet Drive or not? He had chosen not to, but to monitor the situation more closely. Had he made the wrong decision? Probably.
Safety had always been Albus' number one priority in regards to Harry. As long as Harry was not being physically abused, he was able to eat enough food, and his body temperature remained somewhere around thirty-seven degrees Celsius, Albus could live with Harry being unhappy for the time being. Harry's happiness came second, and maybe this was wrong of Albus. He tried to tell himself that Harry was all right, that he would rejoin the Wizarding world shortly, and that he was not being physically abused. Ah, said a small voice in his head, but emotional abuse is still abuse. Why, oh why couldn't the Dursleys be halfway decent?
Albus' first big test came when Harry was three years old. A Death Eater, Gibbon, who was known to be a Death Eater but had evaded capture for the past two years – had found where Harry Potter lived. A friend of Gibbon's had moved into Little Whinging, only a couple streets away from Harry, and had recognized the toddler one day to be none other than the famous Harry Potter. This said friend passed this information to Gibbon, and Gibbon made his move.
After Gibbon's interrogation, it was revealed he had waited outside of number four, Privet Drive. He kept watch until Harry and Dudley came outside. There was Harry Potter, the Harry Potter, playing with a stick in the grass (probably because he wasn't allowed to use Dudley's toys), and Gibbon shot Avada Kedavra at him. It was useless. The beam of light disappeared into oblivion. Harry was still on the Dursleys' property. Gibbon could not even set foot into the yard. It did not take long for Albus to realize that someone was attacking Harry Potter's shield – one of his silver instruments on his desk told Albus this.
It was chaos. Three Aurors and Albus himself caught Gibbon. One more for Azkaban.
Harry never even saw them. Avada Kedavra was shot at him and he never saw or heard a thing! That was how perfectly Lily's blood protected him – the blood that flowed through Petunia Dursley. The Aurors were floored by the invisible shield that protected Harry. They had never seen anything like it.
So, Albus learned from mistakes. No witch or wizard was ever going to be living in Little Whinging – not while Harry Potter lived there. Albus never ever, ever, wanted to remove Harry from his aunt – not while his enchantments had passed their first test beautifully.
So yes, it was safety first, happiness second. Albus had always figured that maybe Harry could be happy later in life, but he could never be happy later if he was already dead.
Yet as Albus sat there in the kitchen, he frowned. Maybe his priorities were so backwards that he could not see straight anymore. Albus did not trust his own judgment, but no one else knew as much about the situation as Albus knew. He would not remove Harry until he was sure Harry would be safe at Headquarters.
At the moment, Albus wanted Harry to be inside his aunt and uncle's house every second of every day, but how could he tell Harry that he could not go beyond the Dursley's property? Harry was vulnerable as soon as he stepped out of the property lines, but how could Albus practically put him under house arrest? Should he explain to Harry why it was so important for him to remain in that house? Albus did not want to scare him. He did not want Harry to know that he was so worried about him that he was having Order members following him every hour of every day. It had been so difficult for Albus to look into Harry's eyes the night Voldemort came back and he was quite certain it was equally difficult for Harry to look him in the eye as well. The fourteen-year-old had been tortured. He had had every Unforgivable Curse thrown at him. He watched Cedric Diggory die. Albus did not want Harry to know much.
Albus put his face in his hands in exhaustion. Harry deserved a better protector than him.
And the prophecy… Albus did not want to make Harry go through with it. He did not like to think about what he, Albus, will have to ask of Harry. Albus was quite certain now that Harry would survive the Killing Curse again; he was quite certain Voldemort had unknowingly tethered Harry's life to his own when he used Harry's blood, but Albus could not tell Harry this. Intent is everything. Intention changes magic. If Harry knew he will survive and he goes before Voldemort knowing that he really will not die, that would change Harry's intent. If Harry faced Voldemort intending to let him kill him… that might tip events in Harry's favor….
Harry had survived Voldemort's attack as a baby because Voldemort had intended to let Lily Potter live…. If Voldemort had stepped into Godric's Hollow planning on killing Lily all along – if he had not given Lily the chance to step aside and save herself – then the curse would not have rebounded and all three of the Potters would be long dead. Intent has dramatic magical consequences and Albus knew this better than anyone.
Albus knew Harry would be willing to die to stop Voldemort, willing to do anything. This made Albus feel, if possible, even worse.
So Albus sat there knowing that he was going to ask Harry to walk to his death one day, without telling him he will most likely live. Albus did not want Harry to know this yet until the last possible moment to save him as much fear as possible. Ignorance is much better. The fact that Harry was going to need to be hit by Avadra Kedavra yet again was a card Albus kept close to himself. No one else knew this. The less Harry knew, the better.
"I do not want anyone here to tell Harry about what is happening with Lord Voldemort," Albus had said to the room full of Order members five days previously. "He is just turning fifteen. It would be irresponsible for any adult to give him more information than he needs to know."
Sirius Black began to protest.
"Sirius, you know Harry has been traumatized by what happened after he touched the Portkey," Albus said sharply. "You are the only other person in this room who has heard Harry's account firsthand. We do not need to traumatize him any further."
"But Harry is capable –"
"I know Harry is capable, but that does not mean we should ask him to shoulder adult responsibilities," said Albus. "Harry is more capable of carrying heavy burdens than I could have ever dreamed of, but I am counting on all of you to treat him like an adolescent, not an adult. You, Sirius, I am counting on the most, because I need you to be his primary parental figure."
Sirius closed his mouth and looked mollified.
"I know I can also count on you, Molly and Arthur," Albus said. "Even you, Remus."
Sirius worried Albus a great deal. He was afraid Sirius would let Harry know too much. Albus was not sure anyone else understood how damaged Sirius was. Sirius was a good person who had suffered every single day for thirteen years in Azkaban. He had been only twenty-one years old when he had been thrown over to the dementors and locked away. This had left a scar on him. People do not mature, grow, or gain wisdom while in Azkaban. Sirius was very much still a twenty-one-year-old, and he could not help but see Harry as a friend – a peer – rather than on an adult-child relationship. This was not Sirius' fault, of course, but it was worrisome to Albus.
Right now, Albus was sure Harry was dreadfully unhappy, and it was Albus' doing. Yet Albus had made his decision: Harry would remain with his aunt and uncle until Grimmauld Place was perfectly protected, but Harry was allowed to roam outside. An Order member would have Harry under surveillance at all times, completely unbeknownst to him. Harry would not be told any inside information the Order knows.
And either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives…. Harry deserved better – so much better – than being used as a pawn by Albus Dumbledore. The flaw in Albus' plan was that he cared about Harry. He had come to love him, even though he had told himself to not. It is difficult to pull the strings of a puppet you love. Albus was playing chess – everyone was one of his pieces. Harry was a pawn that Albus kept looking over at, caring for. You can't care about a pawn too much if you're going to win the game. It is extremely difficult to send someone you love to their possible death.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It was all for the greater good. Albus really did not consider himself all that different from Gellert Grindelwald. Grindelwald had truly believed he was doing evil for the greater good. Albus also believed he was doing evil for the greater good. You are just like him, Albus told himself in self-disgust. Two sides of the same coin.
One of Albus' fears were realized on the second of August – his birthday, actually. His birthday present was Harry nearly having his soul sucked out his mouth by a couple of dementors. Harry had wandered far from his home and Mundungus Fletcher had left his post.
Albus' mental abuse directed toward himself began. This was exactly why he should have told Harry to not leave his aunt and uncle's property line. Had Harry lost his soul, it would have entirely been Albus' fault. The fact that Harry was even able to produce a Patronus after what had happened to him less than two months ago was nothing short of a miracle.
"You left?" Molly Weasley shrieked at Mundungus. "You left Harry Potter alone?"
"I – it was a very, very good business opportunity," Mundungus said, looking rightfully ashamed.
"That is not what is important," Albus said, trying to gather his thoughts as he looked at his watch. Harry was, indeed, now on his aunt and uncle's property again. Temporary relief washed over him before he realized that it was absolutely, one hundred percent imperative that Harry stay there.
"Fudge will bring some kind of punishment for underage magic," Albus said. "Molly and Arthur, I need you to write quick word to Harry, telling him to not, under any circumstances, leave that house, right now. Someone please find Sirius and tell him to do the same."
There was a flurry of movement as Arthur grabbed a piece of parchment and frantically started writing.
"I am sure Fudge will attempt to expel Harry," Albus said.
There were cries of protest, but Albus raised his hand and said, "He legally cannot, but that does not mean he will not try. I have to go to the Ministry, please tell Harry to not leave his aunt and uncle's house, to not do anymore magic, and to not hand over his wand if a Ministry representative comes to destroy it – I have to go –"
"Go," said Molly hoarsely as she read what Arthur was scribbling to Harry.
Albus didn't need telling twice.
Cornelius Fudge was not happy to see Albus. Fudge's face had been shining in glee as he talked animatedly with Mafalda Hopkirk.
"Expelled!" said Fudge happily. "Such a shame that boy is absolutely insane; I think he really had talent too."
"Shame indeed," said Mrs. Hopkirk. She was not looking Albus' way; she was too busy fiddling with her papers. "But if he is a loose cannon, I suppose it is all for the better to have his wand destroyed. I'll put the order in for someone to go snap it in two. That rotten liar deserves it!"
"Agreed!"
Fudge spun around on his heel to see Albus Dumbledore five feet behind him. The drastic change in Fudge's expression was almost comical. The blood actually drained from Mafalda Hopkirk's face.
"Good evening, Cornelius, Mafalda," Albus said calmly. "Am I correct in hearing that a student of mine has been expelled?"
There was a very long pause.
"Yes, Dumbledore, that's right," spat Fudge.
"That is interesting, Cornelius, because the Ministry does not have the power to expel Hogwarts students. That power belongs to me. Furthermore, the Ministry does not have the right to confiscate wands until charges have been formally proven."
Fudge swayed a bit on his feet. "Underage magic, especially magic in front of a Muggle, is against the law."
"Oh yes, definitely, as it should be, unless the given witch or wizard performing the magic is in life or death peril," said Albus. "However, if a crime has indeed been committed this evening, I am completely in support of this student facing consequences for his actions. I trust you will want there to be some sort of investigation into the matter to see what has truly happened tonight?"
"Potter has already been warned for using underage magic," Fudge said angrily, his face steadily growing redder.
"Well, this is true, but Harry Potter has rights, Cornelius, just like you and I. He has the right to defend himself from harm, which is exactly what he did tonight. He has the right to a fair trial and he has the right to explain his actions before the Ministry comes pounding on his door to expel him from Hogwarts (which it cannot do) and destroy his wand. If you want Mr. Potter to be legally punished, then you are required to hold a trial. Is this what you want to do?"
A vein was pulsing around Fudge's jawline. He finally was able to say, "Yes, I do want him charged."
"Very well," said Albus calmly. "Please schedule a day and time, and please send him another letter updating him about his current status in regards to the Ministry and Hogwarts. I do not want him thinking he has been expelled, nor do I want him thinking his wand is about to be snapped in two."
Fudge looked at Hopkirk as if he was looking for her help. She just looked blankly back at him. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife.
"Very well!" Fudge snapped. "Please, Mafalda, could you –?"
"Definitely," she agreed faintly.
"Excellent," Albus said cheerfully. "Both of you have a good rest of your evening then. I shall see you soon again, I daresay."
Protect him, teach him, and train him up until he is ready to face You-Know-Who on his own. You will have a large impact on shaping his life. Your connection to this boy is fate.
Stuff I took from:
1. Arabella Figg and Harry: Mrs. Figg was to keep an eye on little Harry, but not say anything, on Dumbledore's orders (Order of the Phoenix, chapter 2, pg. 22 (US)). Personally, I like to think the Dursleys were persuaded by magic to befriend Mrs. Figg and leave Harry with her (like how Dumbledore gave Tom Riddle's orphanage an enchanted blank piece of paper that convinced them everything was "perfectly in order" for Dumbledore to take Riddle to his school), but that's just me.
2. No other wizards/witches being allowed to live in Little Whinging: During Harry's trial, Madam Bones said something very interesting that was never (to my knowledge) explained by JK Rowling. Madam Bones said: "We have no record of any witch or wizard living in Little Whinging other than Harry Potter. That situation has always been closely monitored, given... given past events" (Order of the Phoenix, chapter 8, pg. 143 (US)). Now when I was a kid reading OotP in 2003, that line made alarm bells go off in my mind, but this has not been explained. To me, that says this was "closely monitored" because there was some kind of threat to Harry's safety - some kind of "past event." I decided to take this little piece of canon and made it into an uncaught Death Eater going after Harry, but that's my own fabrication.
3. Intentions and magic: Harry really did survive because Lily was given the option to stand aside, but she refused. Voldemort had intended to let her live, and this is what made the difference. This is actually kind of mind-blowing, to me anyway. This came up in a previous fanfic of mine about Snape - how Harry lived because Snape had asked Voldemort to spare Lily, and Voldemort decided to agree. I had to dig in order to find this evidence, but I found it:
JK Rowling: But [Voldemort] did offer [to let Lily live], you're absolutely right. Don't you want to ask me why James' death didn't protect Lily and Harry? There's your answer, you've just answered your own question, because she could have lived and chose to die. James was going to be killed anyway. (2005)
Secondly, Dumbledore told Harry that when Harry meant/intended to let Voldemort kill him, that "made all the difference" (Deathly Hallows, chapter 35, pg. 708 (US)). Now, this makes a big difference to me. Whether Dumbledore's right or not, he certainly thought that Harry meaning to let Voldemort kill him might make a difference that would tip things in Harry's favor. This is why I think he didn't tell Snape that Harry would live another Killing Curse, because he didn't want Harry to know, because knowing might have magical consequences. It's no secret Dumbledore is a real cold bastard in The Prince's Tale, but I really do think he didn't tell Snape so Snape couldn't tell Harry he would maybe/probably live. Dumbledore was willing to come across as a real cold bastard, because he was keeping his cards close - keeping secrets - just like Aberforth said he's always done (Deathly Hallows, chapter 28, pg. 562 (US)).
Lastly, Dumbledore knew immediately that Voldemort using Harry's blood would probably keep Harry alive. We know this because there was a "gleam of something like triumph in Dumbledore's eyes" when Harry told Dumbledore that Voldemort used his blood (Goblet of Fire, chapter 36, pg. 696 (US)).
4. Dumbledore's self-disgust: Dumbledore really did hate himself and mistrust his judgment. In his own words, Dumbledore explained, "You cannot despise me more than I despise myself" (Deathly Hallows, chapter 35, pg. 715 (US)).