Chapter 2: The Daily Grind

The alarm sounded. A harsh, blaring siren type sound pierced through the silence of the room, right into the peaceful slumber currently being experienced by the white dog in the bed. He opened his eyes slowly, groggily before slamming them shut again. No. Not now. Not yet. He flailed his arm out to the side until it found its target, smashing down the snooze button and silencing the obnoxious noise. He sighed in relief and rolled onto his side, determined to make the most of this last five minutes he had to rest before getting up and beginning his day, repeating what had now become his regular routine.

For a while, he was able to bask in the contentment that came with the simple act of lounging in bed, but it was over all too soon. The alarm started up again, and he groaned.

No way that was five minutes!

He opened his eyes again, and looked at the time through blurry vision before conceding that it was indeed time to get up. Mumbling obscenities, he threw the comforter off his body and slammed his paw down on the alarm once more to silence it for the day.

The canine sat up and stretched, joints making audible pops as he let out a big yawn. He reached over to rub the back of his neck for a few seconds before turning to address his beautiful wife.

"Morning, hon-."

He stopped. She was still asleep. Again. He shook his head. How Lois was able to sleep through that alarm was simply beyond him. Maybe it was just because he was a dog or something, but even keeping that in mind, ignoring it seemed ridiculous to him. He shook his head and tossed his legs over the side of the bed, taking a second to sit there and admire the woman of his dreams...who was lying in a separate bed on the other side of their bedroom. He tried to push that thought aside.

Come on, Brian. You know what you told yourself. You have to be understanding. Things still aren't easy for her. She'll come around...in time.

It was something he told himself every morning, and he believed it. Sure, he could have gotten mad… Ok, well, he had gotten mad. Initially! And not directly at her. If anything, he'd had momentary moments of lashing out at others, which wasn't exactly right either, but had to be better, right?

And, surely a little anger was a little justified. He wasn't completely against the separate bed thing, but to come home from a long day at work and to go up to your room ready to hit the hay in your regular bed next to the person you care about most only to find there are now two beds and that you'll be sleeping separately for the time being was quite the shock.

She didn't have to go behind my back like that…

That was all the attention he was willing to give the matter, for the time being, though. He knew he had to get busy. There was plenty to do before he had to head out. With one last stretch, he finally hopped down, walking over to give Lois a kiss on the forehead before heading for their bathroom.

First thing was first, he began running some water in the tub and testing it until it was just the right temperature. Then, switched the flow over to the showerhead and climbed in. He let the warm water run over him for a second, relieving the tension in his muscles and soothing him before grabbing his shampoo and beginning to lather it into the fur all over his body.

As he washed himself, a common fantasy began playing out in his head. Ever since he'd first realized how he felt about Lois, he had found that, most of the time when he was in the shower, he couldn't help but imagine how awesome it would be to have her surprise him by joining him. Hot and steamy. And intimate. And, now he was just waiting for the day when that finally happened. After all, they were married now. That was something married people did. Maybe that was why he never bothered to close the door as he showered in the morning? Was that his invitation?

Feeling the heat in his body begin to rise, he stopped right there and reached up to turn the temperature of the water down as he washed out the soap. He shivered at the unpleasant sensation, but it quickly put an end to his growing problem. He was incredibly frustrated, but he knew he had to keep it together.

He made quick work of the rest of his shower before jumping out and beginning the process of drying his fur. First, he got most of the moisture with a towel. Then, he grabbed the hair dryer and blew it all over his body while he brushed his teeth. He'd become quite good at multitasking, if he was allowed to say so himself. He finished cleaning his teeth at about the same time he finally began to feel dry. He set the dryer down and gargled some mouthwash before smiling at himself in the mirror, satisfied that he was ready to go out and officially start his day.

Lois continued to sleep as he made his way over to the closet to grab his shirt collar and red tie, what had become his normal work attire. He was about to close the closet, but his eye caught sight of something, a brown fedora that he had bought a decent while back. He'd always liked it, just never had much reason to actually wear the thing. In his opinion, it looked rather good on him, and besides, it sort of fit that husbandly look he had been experimenting with. He smiled before grabbing that, too, and placing it on his head, finding it felt rather right. In no time, he had his red tie on, as well, and was heading out the door into the hall, stopping to give the sleeping woman one last passing glance before shutting the door behind him.

Alright. Gotta get the kids.

Brian proceeded into Stewie's room. He walked up to the crib and found the boy still sound asleep. A smile appeared on the canine's lips as he reached through the bars to gently push the boy, trying to coerce him out of slumber.

"Hey, Stewie. Wake up. Time to get up, kiddo."

The baby groaned and slowly opened his eyes, making eye contact with the dog as he yawned. He rubbed at his eyes and gave a little stretch before sitting up. Brian lowered the bars of the crib and reached out to pick up Stewie, but the infant pushed his paws away, stopping him.

"I'm good. You don't need to carry me. I tell you this every morning."

The dog shrugged.

"If I were your age, I'd gladly let everyone carry me around."

The infant chuckled and shook his head.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be. Besides, I'm not as lazy as you."

The boy stood up and stretched again.

"Anyway, why do you care? You should be glad you don't have to baby me. Makes things easier on you, doesn't it?"

Brian replied as Stewie hopped out of the crib and made his way over to the closet.

"I guess it does. It's just…"

The baby stopped and turned around, eyeing the dog curiously.

"Just?"

Brian reached back to rub behind his neck.

"You're just my responsibility more than ever, now, you know? It was easier before."

Stewie rolled his eyes before motioning for Brian to come assist him with getting dressed.

"Oh, stop with that. Things aren't that different. Stop pretending like they are."

The dog chose to ignore this last comment and instead hopped to the task at hand, opening up the closet and picking out the infant's usual attire before bending down to undo his sleeper. As he was being dressed, Stewie spoke up.

"Seriously, Brian, there's no reason for things to be different. If anything seems more difficult, now, it's your own fault."

Brian sighed as he pulled the yellow shirt down over the infant's torso.

"Things are different, Stewie, very different."

He reached over and grabbed the overalls before holding them out for Stewie to step into.

"You're my kid, now…"

The baby stopped mid step and shot the dog a cold glare.

"I am not. Your. Kid."

He finished stepping into the overalls and waited for Brian to snap him in. The dog did just that and grabbed the child's sleeper before standing up.

"You may not see it that way, but yes, Stewie, legally, you are."

The boy batted his hand dismissively.

"I don't care what some paperwork says. I refuse to think of you as my father."

Brian reached up to rub at his temple, becoming slightly annoyed.

"Why do you have to be so difficult..?"

Stewie folded his arms.

"I'm not being difficult. I'm just trying to make things clear. Just because you married that hussy, don't think that our whole dynamic is supposed to change. It hasn't, and it's not going to. There's no reason for it to. You can perform your patriarchal duties perfectly fine without trying to force some sort of father/son relationship where it has no right being. That's just not what this is. Not that I don't think you're completely unsuitable to be a father or anything. You're just never going to hear me call you "dad" or anything of the sort. Ok?"

Brian came to the conclusion that he simply didn't have the patience for this sort of thing, right now, let alone the time. With one last shake of his head, he gave up.

"Whatever, Stewie. I have to go get the others, and Lois is still asleep so I guess I'm doing breakfast this morning. It'll be ready in a bit, so don't be too long."

And with that, he turned to head back into the hall, relieved to get some distance from the boy. He walked over to Chris's door and knocked loudly before calling out.

"Chris! Wake up! Get ready for school! Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes!"

When he got no reply, he knocked again.

"Chris!"

"Alright already!"

The harsh screech made the dog jump back, and it took a second for him to compose himself. He cleared his throat and called back.

"Ok. Just making sure you heard me."

Semi-satisfied that the older Griffin boy was up for the day, Brian moved a few steps down the hall to Meg's door.

"Meg? You up?"

A drowsy voice was his reply.

"How could I not be with you and Chris yelling so loud?"

The dog chuckled at this.

"Alright. You probably heard already, then, but I'm heading down to get breakfast started. Be down soon."

He didn't wait for a reply before turning and making his way down the stairs. First, he walked all the way down to the basement to deposit Stewie's sleeper in a dirty clothes hamper before walking back up to the first floor and proceeding into the kitchen.

Brian checked the clock, and seeing that he was pretty on the ball today, the canine decided to make a larger breakfast for everybody, since he was doing so well time-wise. It would be a nice treat for the family, hopefully. Especially for Lois, whenever she came down. She must be tired, she was sleeping so late anymore. Maybe waking to a good breakfast would make her day.

The dog was no professional cook, but he could manage. He put on the coffee, and as he started mixing pancake batter, he heard small feet pitter-pattering into the kitchen. Those footsteps could only belong to one person.

Brian didn't immediately acknowledge the boy's presence; rather, he just kept on preparing breakfast, heating the griddle, cracking eggs into a bowl and whisking them for scrambled eggs. While pouring out circles of batter onto the hot griddle, he heard the baby begin speaking to him.

"Nice hat, Brian. Ahhh, the fedora. The headwear of choice for nice guys everywhere."

Sighing, Brian reminded himself that if he was going to successfully parent these children, he couldn't engage with them in a battle of quips like he used to. He just wasn't going to give Stewie the satisfaction of responding to his teasing.

The dog turned around carefully on the chair he'd pushed up to the counter in order to be able to make breakfast.

"I appreciate you making it down here in a timely fashion for breakfast, Stewie." Positive reinforcement. He plastered a kind, fatherly smile on his face.

The infant crinkled his nose. "Why? I don't have to go to school. I can't be late for anything this morning. Anyway, I was about to say, I think you're the ultimate nice guy success story, don't you? You should write a book about it. After all, you actually managed to marry the woman you were skulking around, pretending to befriend for so many years."

This kid was getting on his last nerve, but Brian still wasn't going to show it. He flipped the pancakes before jumping down off his chair, completely ignoring Stewie for now, for as long as he persisted in being like this.

It was almost as if Stewie had found his playbook, though, because while the canine pushed the chair over to the cabinet where the bread was kept, the child snidely inquired,

"Oh, what? You think you're too good to defend yourself now?"

Brian retrieved the bread and put it on the table, heading over to the fridge from there.

"What kind of response are you trying to get out of me? And what possible response would do any good?" He'd always counted himself as a rational thinker, and he was rather proud of himself for being able to keep a level head as he faced Stewie razzing him.

There was silence for a long beat. The dog returned to the stove and flipped the pancakes onto a plate, pouring the eggs onto the griddle in their place to cook.

"It's like I was saying before," the baby's voice finally piped up again. "Nothing's changed."

"You say that," observed the dog, taking the pancakes over to the table and stopping to smile at the tyke in his highchair. "But this is definitely how you would talk to a parent," he joked. "I sure feel like you're more of a hassle to me now since all this happened. The way you treat Lois- "

Interrupting, Stewie's voice snapped out like a whip. "Woe betide you if you ever become comparable to Lois, dog."

Brian let it drop, and went back to tending the eggs, but he was thinking as he did so that he would probably have to try sooner rather than later to correct Stewie's mystifying and highly damaging attitude toward his mother. This was something he had known from the start he would have to do, but it was exhausting just to contemplate. Brian was aware he had an uphill battle ahead of him.

In short order, the eggs were done, too, and Brian put them in a serving dish on the table. He then set about pushing the chair over so he could get the plates with which to set the table for his family. Chris shuffled into the kitchen, and Brian greeted his elder stepson.

"Good morning, Chris. Orange juice with your breakfast? How dark would you like your toast?"

"Eh, it doesn't matter to me," shrugged the teen. "I'm an equal opportunity muncher."

The ambiguous comment gave Brian pause as he was about to stick two bread slices into the toaster, and he wondered if Chris meant that comment to contain any innuendo. That was another thing that the dog supposed was now his responsibility. Guiding the children about dating and sex and whatnot. He knew about Chris's porno mags, for example, and his efforts at getting around the child safe filters on the computer. Was he okay with those things? Of course, a healthy curiosity was only to be expected, but Chris was only about to just begin high school. What was the good dad thing to do?

Meg entered the kitchen then. "Hey, everybody," she muttered halfheartedly, sitting down at the table. Brian looked at her. Meg wasn't used to people being happy to see her. The dog couldn't say that he was ever particularly glad to find himself in her company, but still, she needed more confidence. Otherwise, she might wind up permanently depressed, and Brian, having had (before his love life turned around) some of those tendencies himself, didn't want her to suffer through that. He made a mental note to help Meg, too.

Somewhere around the halfway point of breakfast, the canine's lovely wife finally made her appearance downstairs.

"Sleeping beauty arises!" declared Brian, welcoming his wife with a warm smile. "Good morning, honey. Did you sleep well?"

The woman slumped into a seat, offering him a slight smile in return. "Good morning, Brian. Good morning, kids." She looked around briefly at her brood. "I slept fine." She turned her attention back to the dog. "Is there any coffee?"

Brian was already out of his chair and pouring her a cup. "Right here. I got it in your favorite mug." He walked the beverage over to her. She took it from him and sipped eagerly, and the dog waited a moment before returning to his seat, savoring the simple domestic pleasure of the moment. She was gorgeous, first thing in the morning, drinking her coffee. They said that marriage was about the little things spouses did for each other. Brian was happy he could do this little thing to make her happy- hand her her coffee.

The family lapsed into silence, and before the canine went back to his seat, he went to the side door and retrieved the morning paper that was laying just outside of it. He took his morning reading material back to the table, and skimmed the current events while he ate.

However, his mind was beginning to wander…

The little things... What's the last thing she's done for you, Brian?

The thought was as sudden, sharp, and unwelcome as a flea bite. Brian responded with annoyance at himself at the pesty thought.

She did the biggest thing she could ever do for me by marrying me! She's the best wife in the world!

Unexpectedly, the dog found himself facing an internal argument.

But if it's the little things that make a good marriage, surely she should be doing some of those little things for you to make you feel loved.

She makes this house a home! That's one big job made up of a million and one little things.

Yes, but she's not doing that just for you. What small but meaningful gestures does she make for your relationship, to show how much she cares?

Brian thought, his nerves oddly taxed as he did so, like he had to hurry and come up with the correct answer or there would be nasty consequences. It was stupid as hell. He was creating this problem himself. And he told himself that, adding,

We've been married for a week! We're in an adjustment period! No one's trying to be all...deliberate about this! It'll occur to her eventually. She just hasn't read the books I've read. It's ignorant to even worry about this at all! ...I'm not worried. We're just...finding our bearings on love's grand tide.

The canine told himself to remember the phrasing of that final thought for use in a book, as he gulped his coffee in a hurry to wake up and stop inventing asinine problems, and thinking ungenerous things about Lois.

The way she pats me on the head before we get into bed...beds...every night! That's a small, sweet thing.

Oh, a pat on the head, the snider side of him mocked. Yes, it's obvious you've made the transition from her pet to the man in her life. That's so romantic! And hot. That is some hot bedroom activity.

Brian gave a low growl from behind his newspaper.

"Are you okay, Brian?" asked Meg.

"What?" muttered Brian, startled out of debating himself, embarrassed. "Oh- oh! Yeah, I'm fine, it's just...the world today." He forced a rueful laugh, flicking the cover of the paper with a finger. "It's a- it's a mess."

Lois was telling the older kids to finish up and go grab their book bags, the bus would be there soon. Chris whined that he hated the bus, why couldn't she take him to school.

"Like I don't smell bad enough before the stink of the bus gets on me!"

Meg started to argue that what really should happen is that she should officially be given her dad's old car, that way she could drive herself to school. She'd even be willing to take Chris.

"Please, Mom, it's just sitting there, you've only let me drive it, like, once since- "

"That's enough." Lois's clipped, distinctly testy voice shut her daughter down. "I'm not just going to decide right now if you should have your own car. It's a big decision."

Brian folded up the newspaper and put it aside, his eyes finding his wife across the table. She looked tense. The dog wondered why. Was she just a little cross because she hadn't fully woken up yet? Or was she really that concerned about Meg owning a car?

He addressed Meg. "That's right," he said slowly, wanting to be supportive. "Something like that will require a fair amount of discussion between your mother and me." He wasn't clear why, exactly, and he was following Lois's thinking even less when it came to her reluctance to let Meg use the car just for school, at least. But the canine half-smiled over at the woman and gave her a nod, as if to say, 'I got you.'

Lois took one more swig of coffee and pushed her chair back from the table. "Hurry up and go get your things, kids, I'll take you to school today."

Meg and Chris bounded up and headed out of the room, while Lois lingered for a moment, standing beside the table. Then, she came around until she was in front of Brian, and, stooping down, kissed him on top of his head.

"Thanks for breakfast. I suppose you'll be gone when I get back?"

Brian's brow furrowed. "Well...if you're taking Stewie…" The couple glanced in unison over at the high chair, where the infant in question sat glowering, all but forgotten up until that moment. He stared back at them, then, like a housecat that was feeling pissy, carefully reached over, and with one purposeful thwack of the hand, knocked his sippy cup down onto the floor.

"I mean," said Brian, turning back to Lois, "I can probably watch him while you're gone. It shouldn't take too long to drop Meg and Chris off, right?"

He wasn't sure why he was volunteering, and it came as something of a relief when his wife insisted,

"No, no, that's alright, my little man can come with me." She smiled sweetly over at her baby boy, who grinned widely back like The Joker in return.

"Okay, great," the dog responded with a shrug. "That'll give me time to stop by Quizno's on the way to work and pick up a sandwich to put in the office fridge for lunch." He tilted his head up and turned in, closing his eyes and awaiting a kiss.

A heartbeat later, and Lois was brushing her lips against Brian's own, making the canine's heart skip its next beat, and his tail wag. He opened his eyes and watched her walk over to Stewie.

"By the way, nice hat," she said over her shoulder to her husband, before hoisting the tyke from his high chair. The child still bore an expression of inexplicable irritation. But Brian focused most of his attention on the curve of Lois's ass as his wife walked out of the room.

Damn it, Brian, stop thinking about how frustrated you are! You've gone longer without sex before! It's completely understandable that she needs time.

That was the helpful voice, the voice that was talking sense. That one sounded more like himself. The other one, Brian realized with a start, before chiding himself that he shouldn't be at all surprised, had actually sounded more like Stewie.

Brian cleared the table and put the dishes in the sink. He held Lois's favorite mug for a time. It was the mug she'd been insisting on using for months now. The dog had no idea how long it had been in this house, or even if it was originally Lois's. He would've had no reason to give it any mind before, but he thought he had a half of a memory of Peter using it.

It was a KISS coffee mug. It could have been bought for either Peter or Lois, really. Brian didn't particularly relish looking at it and being reminded of Lois's former lovers, but he wasn't going to be stupid about it. Getting annoyed about a celebrity whose image he was liable to see anywhere was foolish. And Peter's presence was still spread throughout the house, as was only right. Lois had gotten rid of his clothes and some personal effects, but there were still objects he had bought and used all over the place, from the couch to the kitchen table. Brian could look anywhere and be reminded of his old friend. The house was full of what Peter had left behind.

His children. His wife.

The dog shook his head as if to clear it. Enough of these morose reflections. He filled his own empty coffee cup a quarter of the way and took a long swallow. Time to leave for work and get down to the ole grind.

On Brian's way out, he counted his blessings, such as they were, and was already looking forward to coming home to his family at the end of the day. He thought of the little things Lois had done for him this morning- a tender kiss before they parted ways to start their respective days, complimenting him on his hat- and was able to leave the house with a smile on his face.

It was funny, Brian found that he was usually able to muster up a good mood in the morning, which was really something since he was never particularly a morning person to begin with. But, it was always here, at this moment, that his mood would sink, the moment he pulled into the parking lot at work, the moment he had to sit there and acknowledge that he had to now get out and walk into that building and relinquish any freedom he had for several hours. It certainly didn't help that he had to work for a company who sold products he was otherwise openly against. It was the only place he was able to find on such short notice, though, that could provide him the living he needed to take care of the family.

He allowed himself a few seconds to work up the willpower to get through his day before finally killing the engine of his car and opening the door, grabbing the sub he had picked up on the way over before marching up to the building. He sighed and forced a smile onto his face before finally stepping inside, greeting all of his co-workers with false enthusiasm as he clocked in and made his way into the break room in the back of the Hummer dealership.

His boss was there, Paddy Tanniger, a short, annoying, obnoxious pain in Brian's ass. The dog had to suppress the groan that wanted to escape as he attempted to ignore the man while putting his sandwich in the fridge.

"Morning, Brian."

Shit…

He had to fight to keep his smile as he turned to address the man.

"M-Morning, Paddy."

Hoping to leave it at that, the canine turned to walk out the door, but Paddy's voice halted him in his tracks.

"I need to speak with you for a minute before you get to work."

Brian mentally cursed again.

"Oh."

He turned around once more.

"What's up?"

Paddy walked up to him holding some paperwork. He looked at the papers, sifting through them for a second before replying.

"I've noticed an improvement in your sales."

It wasn't exactly a compliment, but the dog's tail still wagged ever so slightly, an instinctual response.

"Yeah. I've, uh, gotten better at talking to customers, I feel. Just needed a little time to get used to things."

He forced out what he hoped sounded like a friendly chuckle.

"Of course, that's true of everyone, right? I mean, I bet even you weren't a pro at sales when you first started."

Brian nudged the man in his elbow. Then, there was silence. Paddy's face remained blank, but Brian could feel his eyes boring into him. After a few seconds, he gulped nervously. If he could sweat, he was pretty sure he would start right about now. After what felt like entirely too long to the canine, the man continued speaking.

"They're better, Griffin, but they're still not quite where they need to be."

They were just words, but Brian still felt like he'd just been punched in the gut after having even the slightest of praise invalidated with that remark. His foot began tapping as he responded.

"They'll get better. Like I said, things are coming easier to me, now. You'll see. I can get more sales."

More silence. Then, a reply.

"We'll see."

And that was it. Without another word, Paddy was out the door and off to his office. Brian's shoulders sank, and he sighed. He already felt so drained. He wanted to leave so badly. God, he needed this job, though!

Come on, Brian! You can do this! Simpletons have had success doing this! And, you're certainly better than most of the people here. Hell, probably better than all of them…

He believed that. He knew he could outdo anyone in this building, and dammit, he was gonna do it!

With that in mind, he left the break room and took his place at the desk in his cubicle. He logged into his computer and phone. It didn't take long for it to ring. The dog took a breath and smiled again before answering.

"Gooooood morning, this is the Quahog Hummer Dealership. How may I assist you today?"

And from there, the dog's day simply progressed as normal, picking up ever so slightly as Brian found it easier to grin and bare things after he'd finally gotten into the rhythm of his routine. He'd answer a phone call here, assist someone out on the lot there, making sure to give everyone the best service he could possibly provide outside of telling them to not buy their products at all. It wasn't easy, per se, but it was a role that he found himself growing more and more comfortable in every day, and interacting with customers certainly wasn't all bad, especially when he was able to really help someone. That actually felt really good. Of course, that kind of response was typical of his species.

At around noon, the canine was in the process of sealing the deal on his second sale of the day, finishing up some paperwork with his customer.

"Alright, Mrs. Wilson, now I just need you to sign here, here, and here, and you're free to drive off in your brand new vehicle. And, let me just say that you made an excellent choice. Mr. Wilson is sure in for quite the surprise on his birthday. He's quite the lucky guy."

He closed the remark out with a big, toothy grin, earning a small chuckle from the middle-aged woman sitting across from him at his desk. She finished signing, and finished her business with the dog with a handshake.

"Thank you, Brian. You've been a big help to me today."

The canine stood up from his seat and walked the lady to the door.

"It was my pleasure, ma'am. Now, you have a great day!"

The woman smiled at him one last time.

"You, too. Thanks again!"

Then, she proceeded out the door. As was customary, Brian stood at the door and watched as she drove off the lot before finally turning to head back to his desk. On his way there, his stomach let out a rumble. He stopped.

Actually, I think I'll take an early lunch today.

With that thought, he deviated from his original course and made for the break room. A few of his other co-workers were in there, as well, but he mainly ignored them outside of a few friendly glances he couldn't avoid. He grabbed his sandwich, and took a seat in a more secluded area of the break room, a table all to himself just like he preferred it. As he unwrapped his sub, his stomach continued to growl, further showing just how hungry he was. He licked his lips, and his mouth watered as he took that first bite.

"Mmmmm."

For a brief moment, he thought about how he wanted to savor his meal, but he couldn't keep himself from scarfing down the rest of it. It was gone in no time, barely any crumbs even left. The dog burped quietly to himself and wiped his mouth before reclining back, letting his food settle. He still had plenty of time left on his break.

I wonder how Lois is doing.

The dog pulled out his cell phone and looked at his contacts, stopping at Lois's name. He could call her. He had time. Hearing her voice would be nice. He smiled and dialed the number, waiting patiently as the phone rang in his ear. It rang for a while before the woman finally picked up.

"Hello?"

Brian's ears perked up.

"Hey, honey! I was just on break and had some time to kill. Figured it would be nice to hear your voice."

After a beat, Lois replied.

"Oh! Well… Well, that's sweet, Brian."

The dog sat up and leaned against his table.

"So, what are you up to?"

He began tapping his fingers against the table.

"You know, I'm actually in the middle of finishing some dishes. Give me a second. I'll set the phone down, and be back with you as soon as I can. You have time to wait?"

Even though Lois couldn't see it, the canine nodded his head.

"Yeah. No problem, sweetie. I have plenty of time."

For a while, there was silence since Lois didn't say anything back. Brian settled in to wait patiently on his beloved, but he didn't have to wait long to hear a voice. ...A male voice.

"Hello?"

It was unexpected, and made the canine jump ever so slightly.

"Wha? Huh? Stewie?"

The boy scoffed.

"Jeez. Don't sound too happy to hear me…"

The dog had to suppress a groan.

Why does he always have to have an attitude?

"Well, it's not like you're the one I was expecting to hear."

Brian could practically see the child shrugging as he replied.

"Lois set the phone down on my chair, and while you may have called to speak with her specifically, we both know I'm the better conversationalist. So, I figured I'd give your day a boost and give you the pleasure of having some actual intelligent conversation."

Brian rolled his eyes, but saw no point in arguing with the boy.

"Whatever, Stewie…"

He leaned on his elbow and rubbed his forehead.

"How are you doing?"

At this, the boy's tone turned a tad bit more...chipper.

"Oh, I'm alright, for the most part. As alright as I can be being cooped up in the house with the matriarch all day. I spent a good chunk of the morning watching some mindless TV, while sketching out some blueprints for some new gadget I've been tinkering with. I just finished lunch, and I'm hoping Lois will let me be in my room for the remainder of the day. Not getting my hopes up too high, though. You know how she is. The damn woman seems to believe I desire her company. I tell you, Brian, I'm not particularly fond of preschool, for obvious reasons, but I'm finding myself quite eager to start going back. Who knows when that will be, though. Lois keeps saying she'll get me back enrolled soon, but she's been saying that for weeks now. She obviously needs me more than I need her. It's so pathetic."

Despite being annoyed, initially, Brian found that he was attentively listening to the infant, by the end. He went to respond, but Stewie started up again.

"But, anyway, enough of my rambling. How's your day going?"

The dog was actually surprised by the question. He'd been working this job for months, now, and as far as he could remember, this was the first time someone had actually asked him that question. He wasn't really sure how to respond, at first.

"Oh, well, I mean…"

He coughed into his paw.

"There's not really a lot to talk about. It's going about as good as it can, I guess. Just taking it minute by minute."

He heard the boy hum thoughtfully over the line.

"What exactly do you do, anyway? I don't believe you've ever told me."

The dog smiled.

"Oh. It's nothing, really. Honestly…"

His voice lowered into a whisper.

"I really don't care much for this job, but it was all I could really find on such short notice."

He resumed his normal volume.

"I work at the local Hummer dealership...as a...salesman."

He paused, waiting for Stewie to say something.

"Salesman, eh? Hmmm. That doesn't sound too bad. Of course, I imagine it becomes harder when you have to sell something you yourself would never purchase. You don't strike me as someone who would happily drive around in a Hummer."

Brian shook his head.

"Not in the slightest."

The boy chuckled.

"Well, you do what you have to do, right? You're good with people. You can't be too bad at it."

The dog's tail wagged.

"I like to think I'm alright."

There was silence for a few beats before Stewie audibly sighed.

"Lois is about done it looks like."

The canine's tail sped up.

"Oh, great!"

He shifted his weight to his other elbow to get comfortable again.

"Yeah. Great. She's drying up now, so I guess I'll let you go… H-Have a good rest of your day."

Brian still didn't quite understand why Stewie was being so...well, nice, but he couldn't deny how good it felt to know someone cared, even if it was a little.

"You, too, kid, and hey, I'll talk to Lois about preschool for you. Ok?"

Brian was just barely able to hear the child thank him before the sound of Lois's voice overpowered him.

"Awwww! Is my big man talking on the phone?"

Though Brian was certainly glad to hear Lois's voice again, he couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed for Stewie's sake.

The kid must be sending her the meanest death glare, right now.

After the minor disturbance of handing over the phone was over, the sweet voice of his wife was right there in his ear again.

"Okay, Brian, I'm back. Wasn't that just precious? Stewie had to grab the phone and baby babble at you!"

"Yeah." The dog chuckled awkwardly. "So...so cute. Anyway. You got the dishes all done, huh? Your day goin' good, sweetie pie?"

"Um...sure. I mean, it's just an average day around here." There was an odd pause, during which Brian wondered for a split second if they had been disconnected. Then he heard Lois say, "Dear?"

"Yeah?" Brian prompted, thinking she wanted to ask him something.

"What?" responded Lois, sounding confused. "I didn't...say…. I don't have anything to say in particular."

"Oh," said the canine simply, vaguely puzzled. "Well...I...I actually have some exciting news!" He fibbed slightly, or maybe slightly more than slightly, but he didn't care, putting a good dose of enthusiasm into his voice, thinking of a way to show off for his wife.

"You do?" asked Lois curiously. "Well, what is it?"

"Today, the boss made a special point of pulling me aside as I came in and mentioning my improved sales numbers!" he boasted, though making a conscious effort to keep his voice down, in case anybody who happened to be listening knew that Paddy's remark about his sales had been delivered with a caveat.

"Aha," said Lois, not sounding quite as proud as he had hoped she would, but still, Brian could hear the smile in her voice. "Well, that's really great."

"Thank you," the dog replied, her praise made him sit up a little straighter and grin. He hesitated, then decided there was no harm in some small-scale exaggeration. "Yeah, he pretty much came over, thumped me right on the back, and said they were through the roof!"

"Congratulations, Brian!" his wife told him, seeming a bit more gung-ho now, and the canine was instantly pleased with himself for his tiny lie. More uplifted than he had a right to be, he impulsively blurted out,

"We should celebrate tonight!"

The suggestion hung there for several seconds, while Brian himself wondered just what he had meant by that comment, and also wondered if Lois had heard a double entendre in it. He didn't know he'd been holding his breath until he let it out when her eventual response came.

"Takeout! We'll order takeout! Takeout is a good idea, don't you think?"

It was strange to hear 'takeout' in three consecutive sentences. Or, one sentence fragment and then two consecutive sentences right after it. Good god, what was he spacing off about, while on the phone with his wife? Grammar? Well, he supposed that inner voice had to somehow talk down the hope that had started to form inside him.

Of course, it wasn't like Lois owed him for some improved sales numbers. He just never really stopped hoping for...well, to have that intimacy with her. He couldn't help it. She was so beautiful and sexy, and he loved her so much. And they were married.

If they had lived at certain points in history, they wouldn't even be considered legally wed, because their union hadn't been consummated. They didn't still do that, did they? In America? Anywhere? Could a marriage be annulled on the grounds that it wasn't consummated?

Christ, what was he thinking about now?! History? Marriage law?

Fortunately, Lois apparently hadn't even noticed his inattentiveness. She was going on about how she thought they should get Chinese, and rattling off what each family member typically liked to order from their go-to Chinese restaurant.

Brian, however, was forced to interrupt her recitation once he caught sight of the time.

"Hey, hey, honey?" he said, breaking into her talking about how she'd cut up bites of the sweet and sour pork extra small for Stewie, because even he liked a little pork. "I gotta go now. Break time's over. I have to get off the phone with you."

"Huh? What?" Lois muttered distractedly, then caught up to what the dog was saying. "Oh… So soon?"

"I know, it sucks," Brian agreed. "I won't get to hear your lovely voice again until I get home." It was a gloomy thought, but then, feeling separated from Lois was always hard. Being a dog, he had experience missing her when she was out at the grocery store or something, time losing all meaning for him and seeming to stretch on and on until it felt like she'd been gone and would be gone forever. If the whole family was out, sometimes it even drove him to sit at the door, worrying, until they came back.

"If I get some downtime, though," the canine added, "like, if we're not busy, I could always try a quick phone call- "

"Oh, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble at work," said Lois quickly, all consideration. "I'll just talk to you when you get home, okay?"

"Okay," Brian replied, knowing he really had to be wrapping this up. "I love you."

"You, too, Brian." And with that, his beloved wife clicked off.

"Ahhhh, the newlywed," came a voice as somebody passed by the table where he sat. It was Sean, Paddy's nephew. He grinned and Brian sighed, hopping down off his chair and stretching his legs. He watched Sean pour himself a cup of coffee and figured he'd grab one, too, before clocking back in and resuming his work.

He stopped beside Sean at the coffee pot, who then continued with him to the front of the Hummer dealership, somewhat to Brian's annoyance. It wasn't like he considered Sean an enemy, exactly; he wasn't nearly as cranky or critical as his uncle, but his brand of friendliness made him obnoxious in a different way. And he was the boss's nephew, as well as the top salesman, two facts which may or may not be connected, Brian hadn't decided yet.

"Yep," Sean went on, grinning, ignoring how the dog had yet to actually address him. "In the beginning, it's all cooing sweet nothings, but just you wait until you've been married for awhile. Things, er, take a turn." He smiled remarkably placidly for the gloomy words he was uttering. "Leaving for work in the morning will be an escape, and you absolutely won't want to call home during the day." Sean let out a shout of laughter. "And she won't want to hear from you!"

They were stopped outside Brian's cubicle now, and the canine offered a half-hearted chuckle in response to Sean's supposed words of wisdom.

"Yeesh, Sean, who ordered a little black rain cloud? Whadaya do, use up all your cheerfulness on the customers?"

The man laughed, evidently unoffended. "Oh, I always have plenty of cheerfulness stored up to use on them. You've gotta bring a positive attitude to this job, you know?" All of a sudden, he sounded like one of those dopey, robotic actors from the training video. "You're not excited to be here and they won't be, either. They feed right off your energy, Brian, right off it."

Brian let, "The parasites!" slip out before he could really think about it, but he made certain to grin widely so he couldn't be accused of negativity.

"Man." Sean shook his head and sipped his coffee audibly. "You want a parasite, I should tell you about my ex-wife." For the first time since Brian had met him, a trace of bitterness had crept into Sean's voice.

"Oh," the dog said awkwardly. "You're divorced. I didn't know that." Although it certainly explained a lot.

"Yeah…" sighed Sean, but then he pepped back up again. "I don't really like to talk about it. I've got other things to focus on, you know? I've got good things goin' on for me. I got number one salesman last month!" He announced it like everybody hadn't already heard. "Got that nice, fat bonus that goes with it…" He assumed a prideful pose, placing a hand on his hip and rocking smugly back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Gonna maybe use it to go the Caribbean, see what the honeys are about down there…"

Brian gave the obligatory smile. "That's awesome, Sean. You'll have to show me the pictures when you get back. But speaking of getting back, I really should be getting back to work…" He had some thank you notes to recent customers that he had to fill out, making sure to slip into each envelop an advertisement about the other services the Hummer dealership offered, detailing and alignments and such. And then he had a whole list of leads he had to call- he really ought to get cracking on that, try and get his numbers up into territory that was acceptable to Paddy, the pain in the ass…

Who was heading their way. Brian had a fleeting worry that he was about to be chewed out for not being at his desk, but Paddy appeared to be just passing by. Sean, however, called out to him and waved him over.

"Hey, Uncle Paddy, I've been meaning to talk to you. I'm going to need this Friday off. It's the only time the dentist can do my root canal."

Brian couldn't help but wince in sympathy. "Root canal? Ouch. Aren't those supposed to be, like, really painful?"

"Painful shmainful!" Paddy squawked. "You can't take care of your teeth, Sean? That's the start of our No Money Down Event! We need you here. We were expecting big things for that day, and instead our sales are gonna plummet!"

Didn't Paddy have faith in any of his employees besides Sean? Brian was irked. He thought of Stewie's words, on the phone a little while ago, about how the tyke had said that Brian ought to be a good salesman. How it had actually made Brian slightly more motivated. He could be good at this. He would be good at this, dammit! He'd show them all what he could do!

"I'm sorry, but sometimes stuff like this happens," Sean was apologizing. "It's only one day. That event goes on all weekend."

"What, you think I don't know that it takes a few days to recover from a root canal?" Paddy retorted. "Were you just planning on skipping out on work until ya feel all perfect again, ya tooth fairy?"

"Ah, don't give me that, Uncle Paddy!" groaned Sean, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'll be able to work the very next day, don't try to make me out to be a wuss."

"Yeah, I called you a fairy, so what, big whoop, wanna fight about it?"

Brian was just about to shuffle off back to his desk, but his attention was caught by a customer coming through the door of the dealership. In short order, the man- wearing an American flag T-shirt and a cowboy hat- likewise drew the attention of the star salesman, Sean. However…

"I'll let you have this one, Brian," said Sean. He looked over at his uncle. "Don't worry, he won't blow it. This is an easy one."

Paddy still appeared skeptical.

Brian forced a smile as he muttered his thanks and headed off in the direction of the new customer. He soon found himself directly across from the man, staring at the tattoo of an eagle on his large bicep.

Turning around and noticing the dog, the man led with,

"I'm here for something obnoxiously big, that guzzles gas like me and my bros guzzle beer, and is a danger to all other drivers on the road, because I love America!"

Hat askance and papers sticking haphazardly out of his briefcase, Brian entered the house after a long day at work to find his whole family hanging out in the living room. He felt almost like collapsing there, just inside the door. The couch was full up, anyway. However, he dragged himself over to the armchair and crawled up onto it with a sigh, depositing his briefcase on the floor before it.

"Brian?" said Lois, meeting his eyes, a surprised look on her face.

"Hmm? Yeah?" the canine asked tiredly. "What is it, sweetie?"

"You didn't hear me? I just asked how your day was."

Brian heaved a sigh, and squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them and regarding his family again. "Oh...long." He chuckled, striving to sound as easygoing as he could. "Work is work. Now I'm home. I'd rather talk about that." He smiled around at everyone, then aimed a particularly warm grin at his wife.

"Glad to be here. Glad to see your beautiful face and hear your lovely voice again."

"Eww, gross, Brian, not in front of us," Meg complained. Next to her, Stewie looked like he quite agreed, avoiding eye contact and looking cross.

Chris, meanwhile, elbowed his mother and said in a stage whisper, "Psst! Mom! I think he's trying to mack on you!"

Lois merely chuckled softly, clearly a little embarrassed by the kids' behavior. For the first time, Brian saw that she was holding a takeout menu.

"We ordering our food? Alright, I could do with some grub." He rubbed his paws together eagerly.

"Well, actually," said Lois, laying the menu aside. "We already ordered. So good news, the food will be here sooner than you thought!"

The canine felt a twinge of displeasure. "Oh… Oh, you- you already ordered? So what did you order for me? What am I getting?" He sounded irritable without meaning to. "I kinda would've liked to have picked out my own food." With a weak chuckle, he sat back tiredly in his chair.

He was nit-picking, surely. He was home, he would be eating shortly, and his family likely knew what to order for him. He was just touchy because it had been a trying day...well, which ones weren't? He couldn't go down that road, either, but the bottom line was he shouldn't see this as the final insult to pile on his day- his family being inconsiderate after he'd spent the day with inconsiderate people.

"You actually have your choice of several," said Lois in a conciliatory tone, seeming to pick up on his mood, like a good wife. "We ordered several family size dishes." She leaned over toward him and showed him on the menu, and he nodded his head in approval, smiling wearily.

The food came ten or fifteen minutes later, while most of them were engrossed in a T.V. movie. Their meal, however, soon became their new subject of focus, Lois dashing to the kitchen for plates, which then became heaped with food as they eagerly opened cartons and spooned up their food choices.

"Oh, not cashew chicken, Stewie," Lois objected, catching her infant son making his own choices. "You could choke on the nuts."

In the old days, Brian might have gone into the familiar verbal battle mode with Stewie, and jibed, "Well, you might as well get used to doing that, right?" at the child. But he couldn't say that to his child. That was one thing about their dynamic that had to change. He remembered going to Stewie, before marrying Lois, and talking about wanting to still be friends. But the banter part of their friendship was something that couldn't survive- or at least, it would have to be dialed way down.

It was kind of a bummer.

Instead of getting to make his joke, he listened to a variation on that theme, Stewie snarling at Lois that she could choke on his nuts.

As usual, everyone was hungry and they all polished off their meals speedily. The only consumable items then left were the fortune cookies- one for each family member. The kids were apparently still young enough to get a kick out of them, and they were the first to grab theirs. That left two: one for Lois and one for Brian.

"Which one do you want, Brian?" Lois asked playfully, holding one in either hand out to him for his inspection.

The dog sniffed- not the fortune cookies, but in indignation.

"Lois. Please…" he drawled. "Does it really matter?"

She chuckled and thrust her hands toward him again insistently. "C'mon, Brian, you do this every time, you've got to play along! You can't just snatch one at random- you've got to make a deliberate choice!"
He was pleased she appeared to be having a good evening, and was she ever charming with that teasing expression on her face. To him, though, playing along was continuing to scoff for awhile.

"Why? I know you don't really believe in this mumbo jumbo, either. The fortunes aren't individually placed by some clairvoyant who then," he wiggled his fingers out in front of himself in a 'mysterious' manner, "spells the cookies to make sure the exact right people get the exact right fortunes."

He was distracted, then, by a loud whoop coming out of Chris. The middle Griffin child pumped his fist in the air and waved around the tiny slip from inside the cookie.

"Yay! Travel to far-off lands awaits me!"

Lois pressed a cookie into Brian's paw and rolled her eyes at her husband. "I know it's not real," she said. Her voice had gone quite dry. "God, Brian, you're such a bore, sometimes. It's just a game. After all, no one can really predict life's outcomes, can they?"

"Mine says to believe in myself!" cheered Meg.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, Meg," muttered Stewie indifferently, batting a hand. He cracked open his own cookie and read the contents out loud. "If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain." He sat with that thoughtfully for a moment. "I don't know if I love that or hate that…"

Meanwhile, Brian had been a silent observer, Lois's words having temporarily stolen all of his. Was this the first time she'd outright insulted him since their marriage? And why had she sounded so sad and tense?

She didn't sound like that anymore, as she read her fortune to the room in an optimistic-sounding voice.

"Welcome the change coming into your life."

It was like as soon as she realized what she'd read, she didn't like it, crumpling up the little slip of paper and tossing it away. "Ah, well," she said, totally blasé now. "They can't all be gems." She stood up from the couch and started taking her family's plates to return to the kitchen. "That one was too obvious. Change is happening to everybody, all the time."

"Well, let's see what the future has in store for me," said Brian brightly, with a sort of vaudeville-type air, making a show out of holding out the cookie, slowing cracking it in half, and reading out the tiny typed message dramatically.

"You learn from your mistakes- and soon you will learn a lot."

That night, after all the kids had gone off to bed in their separate rooms, Brian stayed up for about another hour watching T.V. He had offered for Lois to join him on the couch, but she had turned him down, saying she'd rather get some reading in before bed. Hearing that only served to make Brian consider actually working on some of his own writing. He hadn't sat down and really written anything since he got the job at the dealership. He'd only considered it for a second, though, before turning back to whatever was playing on the screen. The spark wasn't really there, major writer's block. He'd get through it, though. All writers had their dry spells, right?

So, that's how he spent the rest of his time before finally deciding to turn in for the night, flipping off the television before heading upstairs to join his wife in...well, in the room. He stepped through the door, and was actually relieved to see that she was reading. She hadn't lied about that.

And what reason did you have to suspect that she had?

At his entrance, Lois lowered her book and smiled at him.

"Finally, decided to come to bed?"

The dog nodded.

"Yeah. Figured I shouldn't stay up too late, you know. Work tomorrow."

The woman hummed in understanding before burying her face back into her book. Not wanting to disturb her, Brian left it at that as he removed his tie and fedora and set them aside for tomorrow. After a quick trip to the bathroom to brush his teeth and handle other business, he hopped up in his bed and sighed in comfort. He almost passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow, but he didn't want to fall asleep without saying goodnight to Lois first. He looked over at her and just watched her for a while. She was so beautiful. He smiled, and the woman must have felt his eyes on her because it didn't take long for Lois to look over in his direction.

"Something on your mind?"

The dog shrugged.

"Just captivated by your beauty."

There was an awkward pause before Lois finally chuckled in a way that seemed...nervous to Brian.

"Well, tha-that's sweet, Brian."

She closed her book.

"I think I'll call it a night, too. I don't want to keep you up with the light. You getting Stewie up in the morning again?"

At the mention of the child's name, Brian remembered what he had intended to talk to Lois about. He mentally kicked himself for forgetting his promise, however briefly. He needed to be more mindful of those things.

"Actually, now that you mention him, I wanted to ask you something about Stewie."

Lois, who was in the process of reaching over to turn off her lamp, stopped and turned back to look at Brian, eyebrow raised.

"My little man? What about him?"

The dog sat up.

"He's been out of preschool for a while now, right?"

Lois set her book aside and sat up, as well.

"It's...been a few months. Why do you ask?"

Brian paused briefly before answering.

"It's just, I remember you mentioning getting him enrolled back in preschool several weeks ago, and well, that still hasn't happened. Were you still planning to do that soon?"

The woman frowned slightly.

"I guess I let the time really get away from me…"

Brian felt a slight ache in his heart at seeing his wife upset.

"It...It happens, Lois. There's nothing wrong with it. You've had a lot on your mind. I just figured it was about time that happened. It's, well, it's good for the kid, you know? And, I'm sure he may even miss it a little."

The woman nodded her head, forcing the frown off her face.

"You're right. I'll take care of that tomorrow. I appreciate your input. It's good that you care."

Brian smiled at this

"I care about you and the kids. You know I do."

He met his wife's eyes, and his heart jumped in his chest. This moment, it was probably the most tender one they'd had since getting married. He leaned in towards the woman.

"I love you and the kids."

Lois didn't move.

"We love you, too, Brian…"

The dog gulped. Now, was as good a time as any.

"You know, it gets lonely over here by myself, honey."

And just like that, any warmth that had been there froze over. Brian almost jumped at the sudden change in mood. Lois's eyes went blank, and she layed back down.

"Goodnight, Brian."

The light went off, leaving the room completely dark as Brian continued to sit up in bed awkwardly. He stayed there for several seconds before finally finding the will to move.

"Good-Goodnight, Lois."

He layed back down and shut his eyes, trying to ignore how much that had hurt. He had to focus on other things, right now, like getting enough sleep so he could wake up and just repeat the routine all over again. His routine. The day to day. This was his life now. He had wanted this. He turned on his side facing away from Lois. This is what was going to make him happy. He sighed.

Then why do I feel so sad?