Chapter 3: Kisses from My Stepdoggy?

The infant sat in his carseat, not saying a word. This was the first time since the...marriage that Brian had been tasked with the duty of dropping the tyke off at preschool, and for some reason the boy couldn't quite put his finger on, the change in routine made him feel...awkward. Of course, for the past several weeks, being around Brian had felt a little off, anyway, something he had been trying to figure out. So, maybe this close proximity feeling so strange shouldn't be all that surprising.

Stewie had tried to make it clear to Brian that he simply couldn't view him has a parental figure, "step" or otherwise, but the damn dog was dead set on placing himself in that role. The child felt like he had to fight to keep their dynamic the same it had always been. Any attempt to talk like they used to was mostly brushed aside, and it was. So. Frustrating. Which wasn't to say that Brian was ignoring him, far from it. He was probably getting more attention from the canine than ever, now, and in a way, that was...nice. If he could somehow have that while still once again feeling like Brian's equal, he could have the best of both worlds. When it came right down to it, though, he preferred being taken seriously. He hated being treated like a child, especially by Brian.

"So, what have they been teaching you in preschool, kiddo?"

The boy scoffed.

"You really think they have anything to teach me?"

The dog shrugged but didn't say anything. Stewie crossed his arms.

"That was a serious question, Brian."

The dog turned his head to look at him briefly before responding.

"Look, I know you're smart, but I'm sure there's plenty you could learn. What have you been doing there?"

The baby sighed and shook his head.

"We're going over shapes, very basic stuff. I mainly tune it out. I just like getting away from the house. That's the only benefit I see in going."

The canine hummed thoughtfully.

"What is it about being at home that you dislike so much? You have it pretty good, Stewie. One day you'll see that."

There it was, that patronizing tone. God, Stewie just wanted to clock him one on that muzzle whenever the dog talked to him that way.

"I really shouldn't have to answer that question. If you can't understand where my frustration stems from, then you really are no better than anyone else."

They pulled up into the carpool lane behind the other cars in line dropping off the other preschoolers. The dog turned to him again, frowning.

"No, Stewie, I get it. I'm just saying that, in the grand scheme of things, being so bitter about being treated your age is not that big of a problem. You have it good, kid."

The boy simply batted his hand at the mutt, so done with this conversation.

"Whatever."

The line was moving quickly, and it didn't take long for it to be Stewie's turn to get out. Brian reached over to undo the tyke.

"Like I said, one day you'll see."

As he finished undoing the straps, the dog leaned in and gave the infant a peck on the cheek.

"Have a good day, kid."

The boy suppressed a gasp and shivered at the contact but was soon pulled away from the shock as one of the workers opened the door and helped him out of the car. The dog waved at him with a smile, and Stewie waved back still in a daze before watching as the car drove off down the street. For a minute, he just stood there, baffled, but was soon urged to move along by the worker. He turned to head into the building, but his focus was not on the day ahead.

Why does he...do that?

Though, that wasn't exactly the question he mainly wanted answered. He was pretty sure he knew why Brian had started giving him pecks on the cheek from time to time. It was just another "fatherly" thing he could do, showering affection on his young infant stepson. It made the child want to gag when he thought about it, but when it actually happened…

His reaction to being kissed the first time was one of pure shock. It came as a complete surprise, and at the time, that had made sense. Brian had never done that. He had never expected him to. They were friends. Friends didn't kiss friends, as far as he knew. But, after the first time, he was able to quickly reason why it had happened, and from that point, he knew he should expect them. After all, Brian simply didn't treat him like just a friend, anymore. So, why did he still feel so stunned every time it happened? It didn't make sense. When he shivered, it wasn't out of the normal disgust he felt whenever someone like Lois or a grandparent would kiss him. For a while, he tried to tell himself that was the case, but no, that wasn't it…

Dammit! It seemed like at every turn there was always just one more thing to be confused about when it came to this new Brian situation. It was driving him nuts! So, what? Stepdoggy wanted to give little baby Stewie a kiss here and there. That's all it was. There was nothing to make out of it. There was no reason to feel so surprised every time it happened. There was no explanation as to why his mind would go all fuzzy the instant the dog's lips touched him. If it was there, surely someone of his great intellect could have solved the puzzle by now, but no, it had been weeks and he still couldn't help but go stiff and gasp like a moron at the action.

The child entered the building and made his way into the classroom, ignoring everything around him as he found a corner where he could be alone and continue to dive into his thoughts.

He was trying to adjust. He really was. This is how things were now, and no matter how much it may bug him, he couldn't change them. He'd accepted that, and there were times when he felt like he was coming close to finally finding a sense of normality again. But, that would never last long. Something would happen, Brian would do something that threw him off, and he'd be right back at square one trying desperately to get a handle on his emotions, trying desperately just to understand them!

He sighed. This was so exhausting. It couldn't be like this forever...right?

"There's my little man! Did you have a good day?"

The woman leaned in to buckle up her son into his carseat before driving off. The day had flown by. Did he have a good day? Stewie could hardly remember what his day had actually consisted of. His focus had been totally consumed by thoughts of Brian as sad as that was to acknowledge. What he wouldn't do to get that mutt out of his head…

The woman was rattling on about her day, speaking to him in the usual tone she reserved for her infant son, apparently thinking Stewie actually cared. The child just leaned over and stared out the window, trying to tune her out. He wasn't in the mood to listen to her, not that he ever really was, but it was especially grating now.

As they got closer to home, Lois must have realized her son was in an ill humor because she ceased talking about her day and began speaking in a more sympathetic tone.

"Awww. What's the matter, baby? Are you in a bad mood?"

The infant closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

What was your first clue..?

They pulled into the driveway, and Lois unbuckled the boy before picking him up and exiting the car. Once they were in the house, the woman gave the boy a quick peck on the cheek before setting him down. The child shivered in disgust, the normal reaction.

"There, honey. Go play. Maybe you'll feel better before dinner."

As the woman walked away, the infant rolled his eyes.

"Oh, what a good mother you are, acknowledging that I'm upset only to run off and leave me to my own devices. Bravo, Lois…"

He turned and stomped his way up the stairs and into his room before slamming the door shut. He needed to get his mind off of this Brian thing. He needed something to distract him. He thought about working on an invention, but he didn't really have any in the works, at the moment, and his inspiration for new gadgets was at an all time low. Unfortunately, that was his usual way of refocusing his thoughts. The only other distraction he had available to him was his toys. He sighed.

Why the hell not?

He walked over to his toy chest and began tossing various toys out onto the floor. He wasn't sure what he was going to need. He wanted to keep his options open. After digging around for a while, he shut the box and sat down on the floor, looking over all the various toys he'd pulled out.

None of it looked very appealing. His eyes landed on a toy train, and he half-heartedly grabbed hold of it and pushed it along the carpet. Under his breath, he made some weak train noises, but after only a couple minutes or maybe less, he abandoned playing with the train.

Chanting, "I think I can't! I think I can't! I think I can't have fun with you!", he stood and kicked the lines of cars away from him. "All aboard to Boredom Town!"

He sat back down heavily on his heels again and crossed his arms over his chest. He then noticed that the train had hit one of his dolls. Without really thinking about it, the child found himself kneeling back up and reaching across to grab the doll.

It was one of the male dolls he used quite often, sometimes letting him play the character of Secret Agent Greg, and most recently seen in the role of Brad, someone's hapless fiance, a drip of a part, really.

Stewie seized the train again, and as he sat back with it in one hand and the man doll in the other, his gaze cast about for another toy. He finally saw it- a small boy doll. He picked it up, too, and besides things not being to scale, he made the adult doll and child doll sit on top of the train.

"What a great Take Your Child to Work Day!" the tyke made the boy doll enthuse. "I bet none of my classmates have a dad with such a cool job as train conductor!"

"I'm glad you're having such a good time," Stewie made the man doll respond in a deeper voice. "They don't get to travel as much as you do, either. Remember all our great trips?"

The boy doll replied giddily, "Oh, yes! We've had such fun, D- daaaa…" Stewie found he was having the most peculiar difficulty in making the little boy doll address the older doll as 'Dad'.

"Oh, that's okay, Steven," he said, making the man doll talk instead, using a deep-voiced, understanding tone. "You don't have to call me that if you don't want to. I'm fine with you sticking with 'Brad'. In fact, I'm fine with you always continuing to call me that."

"Really?" The boy doll sounded happy to hear this news.

"Yes, of course. I'm not here to replace your father. Let's think of each other as friends first and foremost. But of course- " The man doll adopted a joking tone, "that doesn't mean that you don't get some of the perks that come from having a dad. Like having him get you out of school for Take Your Child to Work Day!"

The two dolls laughed together. Then, Stewie made the 'Steven' doll spot an ice cream shop coming up on the route.

"Look, Brad! Ice cream! Oh, I could really go for some ice cream right about now! Is having you buy me an ice cream cone one of the perks of having a dad?"

"Oh, I suppose it could be, son!" The man doll chuckled. His hand touched the boy doll's hand. "Here. Take some money. I'll let you off to get an ice cream."

'Steven' replied excitedly, "Thanks!" and Stewie slowed the train to a stop. The boy doll was about to disembark.

"Anytime," said 'Brad', and then it seemed like Stewie was more an observer than the one responsible for their actions as 'Brad' moved to kiss 'Steven's' cheek.

It was like the bottom of Stewie's stomach dropped out, and his hand tightened reflexively around the 'Steven' doll.

"Is that…" the boy doll said dumbly, struggling to speak, "...is that a...perk?"

Scarcely was the dialogue out of his mouth but Stewie was kicking the train away again, Brad still onboard. The infant's stomach tightened and twisted, and he leaned forward, hugging his knees, squeezing his fist around the boy doll. While concentrating on trying to alleviate his nausea and bringing some coherent thoughts back into a head that seemed suddenly quite oxygen deprived, he barely registered a small object go flying in front of his eye. It wasn't until it landed with a barely audible sound that he noticed it was 'Steven's' head.

The baby looked at the headless body in his hand and laughed almost deliriously. He must have squeezed too hard. Oh, well. It wasn't an irreparable problem. He'd help 'Steven' find his head later.

For now, he had to find his own.

For the next hour or so, Stewie found that he was succumbing to a massive stomach ache. He tried to fight it off, but it was just too much. Now, he was doubled over on the floor in a fetal position clutching his abdomen, hoping the pain would pass soon.

Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

He had wanted his head clear, and he had gotten his wish. It was simply impossible to care much about Brian when there was such immense pain coursing through him. It was so intense that he failed to notice his door opening and someone entering his room.

"Stewie?"

The boy looked up and saw Brian standing in his doorway wearing that adorable hat of his. He groaned both from the pain and from the indignity of the dog finding him in such a state.

"Stewie?!"

The dog ran over and kneeled down beside him. The child struggled to sit up, trying his best to play off his condition.

"Huh? What is it? What do you want? Why are you up here?"

The dog draped an arm over his shoulder.

"Lois said something about you being cranky. I was just coming up to check up on you. Are you ok? Are you sick?"

The infant shook his head rapidly.

"No! I'm fine. It'll pass. It was probably just something I ate."

The dog didn't look convinced.

"What did you eat?"

The child went to answer, but found he was unable to. He honestly couldn't remember what he had eaten that day. So, he just remained silent. The dog was obviously waiting for an answer, but he eventually sighed when he realized one wasn't coming.

"What do you need, kid?"

I need things to go back to the way they were before!

"I don't need anything, Brian. I told you I'll be fine. It's just a mild tummy ache."

The canine nodded his head but the frown on his face remained.

"It doesn't look mild to me, Stewie, but...if you say you're alright, I'll believe you."

The child felt his heart stop for a brief moment at those words.

"Thank you, Brian."

And he hugged him. He clutched the dog tightly, not caring about how it made him look. He just wanted to enjoy this small comfort. The pain in his stomach didn't feel as bad anymore, though it was still there. The dog hugged him back before standing up.

"Dinner will be ready soon. You gonna be able to eat?"

The boy stood up, as well and shrugged.

"I can't answer that. I guess we'll see."

The dog turned to leave, and the infant followed after him. He was tired of being cooped up in his room, and the dog's presence was a comfort to him. He knew that much. So, he followed him all the way downstairs and onto the couch, settling in to watch whatever it was the dog chose to watch and fighting the urge to scoot over and lean into his side, nestle into that fur and fall asleep completely at peace.

"Alright, everyone, dinner!"

The child was torn away from his slumber by the hideous screeching of his mother's voice. He grimaced before yawning and opening his eyes. He awoke to find himself leaning into Brian's side, the canine's arm draped over him. His grimace was soon replaced with a smile as he stayed there for a few seconds longer before finally sitting up. The dog looked over at him and smiled.

"Hey, you feeling any better?"

The boy took a second to consider the question, allowing himself to fully wake up before he was able to tell what the condition of his stomach pains was. There was still some slight discomfort, but he definitely didn't feel as bad as before. He nodded.

"Yeah, a little."

At that moment, Lois seemed to materialize from behind the couch as she leaned over to pick up her baby boy.

"Come on, sweetie. It's time to eat."

The boy groaned at the mention of food.

"Not that you care, but I don't really think I have much of an appetite, right now."

As she carried him off to the dining room, Stewie watched as Brian got up from his seat to stretch before following after them and taking his place at the head of the table. The woman sat Stewie down in his high chair that sat between her and Brian before moving to fix plates for everyone. Chris and Meg soon entered the dining room, as well. Brian turned to address them.

"Hey, there you guys are. I was beginning to wonder if you ever made it back from school."

A cheesy laugh followed his chiding comment. Stewie cringed, but a part of him was laughing on the inside. Seeing Brian so desperately try to be so "dad-like" was always weird, but you had to give the dog credit for his dedication. There was a certain charm to that, Stewie thought, though his siblings obviously didn't feel similarly. They just stared at the canine awkwardly before finally sitting down, not even bothering to reply. Stewie huffed.

Hmph. Rude.

In short order, the Griffin family matriarch had placed a plate of freshly cooked spaghetti in front of each of her family members. She then took a seat as everyone minus Stewie started to dig in. The boy went to take a bite but stopped, still feeling ill. His appetite was just non-existent. So, he sat there as the others ate in silence until Brian spoke up, trying to get some conversation started.

"So, uh, I might be coming home a little later these next several days. My coworker Sean is going to be going on vacation, and they need me to kind of pick up some of the slack. It kind of sucks, but hey, more hours is, on the whole, a good thing, you know?"

For a moment, nobody said anything back. Eventually, though, Lois did respond.

"Well, I'll make sure to have you something to eat whenever you get in. It's the least I could do since you're working so hard."

The dog smiled at her.

"Thanks, honey."

The woman smiled back ever so slightly before taking another bite of her spaghetti. The dog continued to stare at her, though, with those pathetic love-stricken eyes. Stewie groaned before interjecting.

"So, is, uh, Sean like your work buddy or something?"

The canine was finally able to pry his gaze away as he turned to answer the child.

"Huh? Oh, well, he's not really a buddy. We talk, though. I didn't choose to pick up his slack. My boss told me I had to."

As Stewie went to say something else, his mother decided to rudely butt her way into their conversation.

"Brian? Who are you talking to?"

The dog looked up at Lois surprised.

"Oh. I was just talking to Stewie."

The woman's eyes lit up as she looked down at her son.

"Were you talking to Brian, my sweet little man?"

The infant sighed and placed his palm over his face, prompting the canine to chuckle before lightly punching his shoulder and whispering.

"It's alright, kid. She loves you."

The child looked up in annoyance.

"She loves me so much she refuses to see me for myself, is that it?"

He scoffed.

"Well, I guess she does it with the men in her life."

The dog visibly flinched at the comment, and for a second, Stewie almost felt bad for what he said...almost. He'd most certainly meant it. The table fell back into silence. Not even Chris and Meg were doing their usual bickering. If it weren't for how abnormal it all was, the child would have found the quiet pretty nice.

"Awwww. Stewie, baby, you haven't even touched your food. Did mommy not cut it up enough?"

About at his last straw, the boy went to retort, but Brian ended up speaking first.

"He's probably just not hungry, Lois. You mentioned him not feeling good earlier, after all."

The infant appreciated Brian voicing what he wanted to say, even if he still hated that he needed someone to speak for him when it came to communicating with his mother. However, any appreciation he was feeling towards the canine soon turned sour as the dog continued.

"I have to say, though, the kid is missing out. This spaghetti is delicious, my dear."

As he uttered the compliment, the mutt smiled sweetly at his wife and reached over to place his hand on hers. Stewie could see the woman flinch away from the touch, though, she didn't pull away completely. Of course, Brian didn't seem to notice this. The child rolled his eyes as the pitiful display continued, as Brian started stroking Lois's hand, waiting for her to say something sweet back. The woman only offered up a barely audible thank you, but this seemed to satisfy Brian as he continued to eat, never removing his hand. Stewie's eyes locked on their hands, and he just watched as the dog continued to stroke his mother's so tenderly. It was sickening, and he could feel the pain in his stomach coming back full force. He gripped his abdomen and groaned, pushing the plate of spaghetti as far away as he could, not wanting to even look at food. No one seemed to notice this, though, until the plates were clean and Lois was collecting dishes. With the woman finally gone, Brian was able to focus on something else for a change and notice the pained look on Stewie's face. He frowned, worried.

"Hey, kid, are you alright?"

The boy just shook his head, not even wanting to pretend. He just didn't have it in him, at the moment. Brian continued to watch him for a while longer before finally getting up from his seat and grabbing the infant from his high chair.

"Hey, Lois! I'm going to go put Stewie to bed! He's, uh, looking tired!"

The reply came from the kitchen.

"Ok! Give him a goodnight kiss for me!"

Without wasting anymore time, the dog carried the boy up the stairs and into his room. He set the child down and walked him over to the closet.

"Come on, Stewie. Let's get you in bed. You'll feel better in the morning."

The baby didn't say anything back, just nodded his head and followed the canine's lead as his blue sleeper was retrieved. The dog kneeled down and quickly undressed the boy before helping him into the sleeper. He then collected the used garments and walked over to lower the bars of Stewie's crib so the tyke could climb in. It took a little more effort than normal, but Stewie was able to pull himself up into the crib and get under the covers. He laid down and immediately felt his eyes grow heavy when his head hit the pillow. The dog smiled at him and tucked him in, and Stewie smiled back, wanting to thank him for caring but unable to get the words out. Once the boy was good and settled in, Brian spoke to him.

"Would you like a bedtime story before I go?"

The young child nodded his head yes, not wanting Brian to go just yet. The dog walked to the other side of the room and began looking through the available books on the shelf. Stewie watched as the canine went about the task of finding a good story for him, unable to hold down the chuckle that escaped him when Brian started tapping his chin thoughtfully.

Heh. Cute.

At last, the dog settled on a choice. He grabbed the book and walked back over to Stewie but not before grabbing one of the little plastic chairs in the room for him to sit in. He took a seat and held up the book for the boy to see. Stewie read the title out loud.

"The Little Prince."

The dog nodded his head.

"This one ok?"

No one had read this book to Stewie, yet, but the title sounded interesting enough. He smiled at the dog.

"Sure."

Brian grinned back and opened the book to the first page.

"It's a longer one than you're used to, so it may take me a few nights to finish but there are some cool illustrations in here, too. I think you'll like it."

In this moment, the child decided to trust the dog's judgement and settled in to enjoy this new story.

And what a story it was! My word! Brian didn't read for very long, but in that short amount of time, the toddler was hooked on this fascinating story. It was full of such deftly written prose and meaning. He couldn't wait to hear more. He had to make sure Brian read to him tomorrow night, too. By the time, the dog reached his stopping point and closed the book, the child's eyes were wide with fascination.

"Alright. That's enough for tonight. What did you think?"

The boy pointed at the book as he spoke.

"That was fantastic. How come no one has read this to me before?"

The dog shrugged.

"They probably think you're still too young for it. I know better, though."

The infant's heart swelled in his chest, and he wasn't completely certain but it felt like his cheeks were getting hot. The canine stood up and leaned over the child.

"Now, I know you won't like it, but Lois wanted me to give you a kiss for her."

The infant froze at the words, not sure how to respond. He wasn't even really given much of a chance to because in the next instant Brian had leaned in and pecked him on the cheek. A small, barely audible gasp escaped him as he jumped at the contact, but the biggest surprise came when he felt another kiss being placed on his opposite cheek. It was too much. He gasped again as he felt his whole body grow warm. He could barely register that the dog had pulled away and was now smiling down at him. He gulped and reached up to place his hand over the cheek where that second kiss had been placed.

"Wha-what was that for?"

Brian guffawed, obviously amused by his reaction.

"What do you think? You got one from Lois, but that doesn't mean you can't have one from me."

The boy chuckled, trying his best to compose himself and play everything off.

"Oh. Haha. Yes, of course."

Once his bout of fraudulent mirth had concluded, the dog raised the bars of the crib and gave the child one last tender gaze.

"Goodnight, Stewie."

He, then, turned and proceeded out of the room, making sure to cut the light off and shut the door behind him. Only once he was gone did the boy finally answer in a whisper.

"Goodnight...Brian."

The tyke rolled over onto his side, but his hand remained on his cheek. Usually at this point, he'd be consumed with the need to puzzle over just why he continued to react this way to Brian's kisses. This time, though, he simply didn't have the energy. It wasn't like his stomach was still bothering him all that much. No, it wasn't that. Something else had caused him to feel drained of energy, and he wasn't exactly sure what. Another mystery. But, this was one he honestly felt no pressure about solving. Something else was clear, now. In the whirlwind of emotions that came about after being kissed by Brian, Stewie thought he could at last pinpoint at least one, and in his heart he knew that Brian's show of affection had made him feel...happy. He closed his eyes, smiling, allowing his mind to posit one last question before he drifted off to sleep.

Wait. I like kisses from my stepdoggy?

The child just hummed in contentment.

Yes. Yes, I do...