A/N: Do you know what a lot of people forget about? The gleam of triumph thing in GoF. Also, can you imagine how freaky CoS was for Dumbledore? Like do you think he, at any time, was afraid Voldemort was using Harry to do his evils? I think the thought must have crossed his mind, though I am sure Dumbledore never doubted Harry's goodness.
Where have I been and why haven't I updated? Well, because my life is shit right now. I've been preoccupied with trying to fix it. I don't really like this chapter, and I thought about just ending this fanfic with the last chapter, but I wrote this a long time ago, and some of you might want to read it, so here it is.
oh help: You actually don't know how happy your review made me. Seems kind of crazy to realize that a lot of Harry Potter fans have not poured over JK Rowling interviews, but actually, I can understand why that would happen (the passing of time). I grew up with Harry Potter - I started reading it at the age of 9 in 1999. For years, I waited for "Book 5" (we didn't know its name then). Three years between GoF and OotP felt like 10 years. We all wanted to know what was going to happen! So I poured over each and every JK Rowling interview ever released for clues. The interviews hold a *lot* of information. The "research" I did for this fanfic was already done - I already knew it all and where to find it so I could quote JKR directly (mostly HP Lexicon). It's in my blood, and it all comes back to the tortuous waiting for the next HP book. Do kids these days know how good they've got it? When they want to know what happens next, they go to Barnes and Noble. I had to wait... for years... Right before Deathly Hallows was released, a man got arrested for stealing copies of the books from a book store at gun point. No, I'm serious. Before OotP, a talk radio show was sued for reading the first paragraphs of the book before it was released. People were desperate back then.**Nostalgic moment**
Red Furry Demon: The sex ed Hogwarts teacher should be Hagrid. Let's make it canon, JK Rowling. And holy crap. What is this hueco-mundo stuff you handed me? I don't know how to talent like that. Now you're making me read through this all when I have work in the morning!
EvilFuzzy9: I will take that as a compliment! Yeah, it definitely is pretty emotional. To be honest, I really see Dumbledore as someone who was emotionally self-destructive, especially in his younger years. We know he "despises" himself, and he never got over it. I can really see a teenage Dumbledore doing this to himself - he was filled with so much hatred for himself, but nobody knew it.
Hplover4ever3 - Thank you! Yeah, most The Talk fics cannot be taken seriously - and many of them have no problem admitting they are for fun only - but I honestly tried to imagine Dumbledore being put in this situation. I think his fear tactic would work with any student other than Harry, because they know each other. Who gave Harry The Talk, by the way? Probably no one - poor boy.
"I cared about you too much. I cared more for your happiness than you knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act. ... What did I care if numbers of nameless and faceless people and creature were slaughtered in the vague future, if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands."
- Albus Dumbledore, Order of the Phoenix, chapter 37
" ... For a fleeting instant, Harry thought he saw a gleam of something like triumph in Dumbledore's eyes. But the next second, Harry was sure he had imagined it, for when Dumbledore had returned to his seat behind the desk, he looked as old and weary as Harry had ever seen him."
Goblet of Fire, chapter 36
"The [gleam of triumph] is still enormously significant. And let's face it, I haven't told you that much is enormously significant, so you can let your imaginations run free here. ... [Its reveal] is for [book] seven."
- JK Rowling, 2005
1981
After Harry, James, and Lily were temporarily living at Headquarters (their home could no longer be considered safe for the time being), Albus Dumbledore sat down and had a very difficult and lengthy conversation with them about the prophecy. It was one of the most difficult conversations he had ever had with anyone. They were sitting down at a small table in a tiny, dusty room that was usually unused. The faces of all three adults in the room were solemn as a the baby played with blocks in a corner.
"You have to understand," Albus said softly, "I usually do not deal with Divination or Seers or prophecies. It is not my area of expertise. This is why I went to the Department of Mysteries. There is a Hall of Prophecies there, and I spoke to an Unspeakable, and she was the one who told me all this. This is not some insane idea that I came up with -"
"We know it isn't, Albus," Lily said firmly.
"Absolutely," agreed James.
"What I don't get though is how Voldemort can think -" Lily stopped here.
The trio looked over at Harry before looking back at one another.
"Babies grow up, Lily," said Albus. "Voldemort wants to fulfill the prophecy before he can become a threat... and that's what we need to make sure does not happen." He sat back and sighed before continuing, "Voldemort's rise to where he is today is mostly a result of how he is able to infiltrate organizations in the most unlikely places. I fear a quarter of the Ministry is secretly working for him. I do not want to believe it, but I sometimes wonder when the day will come that a Death Eater or Voldemort sympathizer is here in the Order." He looked very seriously at the couple. "There are a few different options we can use, but I think the one that will be our best chance is the Fidelius Charm."
James looked like he had not heard of the charm before, but Lily's face lit up with recognition.
"Yes... but that means," she said slowly, "that we would have to find a Secret Keeper."
"I'm sorry, what is the Fidelius Charm?" asked James.
Albus explained the charm and its incantation with Lily chiming in occasionally.
"Oh, well that should be easy, isn't it?" said James, looking relieved. "Sirius can be our Secret Keeper."
Albus interlocked his fingers and thought this over in silence. Lily watched him in equal silence. Finally, Albus said, "Like I said, James, Voldemort's success is largely due to how he is able to win over unlikely people from unlikely places to his side. He has torn families and friendships apart. Many people are on his side - people no one would ever imagine to join him. I am not saying I think Sirius Black is a Death Eater; I think he is of good character, and usually my intuition is right. However, I am telling you to tread carefully. I would gladly be Secret Keeper for you."
"No," said James immediately. "We're not doing that to you, Albus."
"James, it would not bother or inconvenience me in the slightest. I think it highly, highly unlikely I would betray you or be captured and tortured to reveal the truth. I'm rather good with magic, you see."
"I know that," James said with a touch of impatience, "but I know Sirius would rather die than betray Lily and me."
"Yes, but James, the prophecy was made to Albus," Lily pointed out. "He is supposed to be Harry's protector and guide him to success, not Sirius."
"Oh sure," said James edgily, "I'm sure you would rather have Snivellus as Secret Keeper, now that he's shown up and is playing the fearless hero."
Lily narrowed her green eyes to slits, and she shot her husband a look that Albus believed should strike fear in the hearts of anyone it was aimed toward.
Not really wanting to hear the couple bicker or get involved in their love triangle drama, Albus raised his right hand. "The choice is yours in the end. You do not have to make a decision today. Talk it over - maturely -" he added as he shot a look at James, "and then come to an agreement. Just know that I am offering because I care about all three of you. Harry is your child, so it will be up to you both in the end."
"What happens if we..." Lily said slowly.
James winced. "Can't we talk about that another time?"
"No," said Lily, rounding on him, "we can't. So what happens if we - er - kick it and Harry's still alive?"
Albus did not bother telling her that he found it highly unlikely both Lily and James would be dead and Harry still alive, as Harry was a defenseless infant, and he knew James and Lily would rather die than hand their son over.
"Well, that's obvious, isn't it?" said James. "Then Harry's got Sirius. He's his godfather."
"The prophecy was made to Albus Dumbledore and not Sirius Black!" snapped Lily with a slight pound of her fist on the table.
Albus again raised his hand. "Should that happen, I will do everything in my power to make sure that Sirius takes care of Harry, if appropriate. It depends on the conditions. Harry is clearly attached to Sirius, and I know Sirius adores him; I wouldn't want to throw that away and leave Harry elsewhere."
It seemed like neither of them could argue with that, though they were still shooting each other malevolent looks.
"Can you at least agree that I will do my best if that happens?" Albus said with a touch of impatience.
"Yes," said James.
"Agreed," murmured Lily.
"All right," said Albus calmly. "I am glad we can agree on that. However, with your permission, I would prefer to put a couple charms on Harry."
"What kind of charms?" asked James, looking quizzically at Albus.
"Merely to keep tabs on him," said Albus quietly. "One, to know whether or not he is alive; and two, to know, roughly, where he is located in proximity to me."
It seemed neither of them could argue with that.
October 1992
There was something strange going on with twelve-year-old Harry Potter, and Albus had no idea what it was.
When Harry had finished his first year that June, Albus was completely awestruck with him. He had had high hopes for Harry Potter, but he never could have seriously imagined that he would have been this magnificent. He had battled Voldemort and was doing a damn good job at doing it too before Albus pulled Quirrell off Harry. Harry had delayed Voldemort's return to power at eleven years old. What was more was that he was modest, inquisitive, and polite - not at all big-headed or arrogant. He was perfect beyond what Albus could have hoped for.
But things seemed to have taken a disappointing and disturbing turn. First, Harry and Ron had flown a car to Hogwarts. It had seemed like they did it to show off, but after speaking with Harry, it seemed like they had no intention of doing so - they just wanted to get to Hogwarts, and the boys didn't have the best problem-solving skills, that's all (Hermione Granger wasn't with them). Nevertheless, it was a small blow.
Then Albus finds himself carefully watching a clearly lying Harry Potter on Halloween night. It was the strangest scene. Albus was staring, the trio seemed nervous, Argus Filch was sobbing and red-faced, Gilderoy Lockhart was bragging about his accomplishments in the background, there was a Petrified cat sitting at the table, Minerva was silent, and Severus was playing detective.
"But why not join the feast afterward?" Severus said with narrowed eyes. "Why go up to that corridor?"
Ron and Hermione both looked at Harry. Albus (and any parent or teacher) fully could tell that a lie was coming.
"Because - because -" Harry struggled as he tried to come up with a believable story (adolescents all look the same when they lie), "because we were tired and wanted to go to bed."
"Without any supper?" said Severus. "I didn't think ghosts provided food fit for living people at their parties."
"We weren't hungry," Ron said loudly, his stomach growling.
Severus and Minerva started bickering over punishment. Albus was busy looking Harry up and down, using Legilimency as best he could (thank God that Harry looked at him directly). He saw nothing to suggest Harry had hurt the cat. There were no flashes of images happening in Harry's mind that showed him cursing the cat - only him finding it and looking at the writing on the wall - and Albus didn't believe any second year knew magic this dark and advanced anyway. However, Albus knew Harry was lying. Harry came up this corridor for a reason, and it wasn't because he was simply going to bed.
"Innocent until proven guilty, Severus," said Albus firmly, maybe more decidedly than he really felt.
But it bothered him, and he wanted to be alone to think rather than try to calm down a furious Argus Filch who was demanding justice for his cat.
First of all, the prospect of the Chamber of Secrets being open again was terrifying. If the Chamber was once again open... the last time, a student had died, and Voldemort had framed Hagrid. The only reason the attacks stopped was because Voldemort did not want Hogwarts closed while he was still attending it. He knew Voldemort had been responsible just as surely as he knew his own name, though no one else believed him. Voldemort was not exactly empathetic to current students of Hogwarts; he would not care if the school was closed because his plan would be to overtake it shortly afterward anyway. However, Voldemort was supposed to be hiding in the forests of Albania now, a mere spirit, not even having a real body... He was far, far away from Hogwarts. Voldemort couldn't possibly be behind this, could he? It wasn't probable. It wasn't likely. Albus prayed that this was some kind of Halloween prank, but he had a very bad feeling about all of this...
Is the Chamber of Secrets open again? That is the question that was the most terrifying. If the answer was yes, this was nothing short of catastrophic. Yet Albus was more disturbed by a different question.
Why is Harry lying to me?
December 1992
Albus couldn't deny it. Not anymore - not after Colin Creevey was Petrified just like Mrs. Norris. The million galleon question was, how was Voldemort doing it? If Albus could answer that question, then he could stop it. Until then, Albus would be living on his toes, scared for the fate of his students and Hogwarts itself...
Harry. Voldemort is doing it through Harry.
Albus cringed and put his face in his hands. He was sitting in his office. It was sunrise, but he hadn't slept. He didn't want to believe Harry was the answer to that question. Parts of this fit. Harry was definitely hiding something from him... yet, at the time of Creevey's attack, Harry had been tucked away in the Hospital Wing. It didn't make sense. There was something, something going on with Harry, and Voldemort was definitely within the walls of Hogwarts again, but how?
No matter what the answer, Albus knew that Harry would never willingly do Voldemort's bidding. Harry had stopped Voldemort last June. Albus had watched Harry from afar long enough to know that Harry would never do something so immensely evil as opening the Chamber of Secrets. But unwillingly... that was another story. Was Voldemort possessing him? Or was he being controlled by the Imperius Curse? No, it can't be, neither of those theories could explain how Harry was both in the Hospital Wing and supposedly responsible for harming Creevey.
Albus wracked his brains for three hours straight before dozing off at his desk. He was eventually awakened by Severus bursting through the door.
"Albus!" exclaimed Severus, making Albus jump awake. "Potter is -" He paused and frowned at Albus, who was rubbing his face with his hands, trying to wake up. "Er - are you all right, Professor?"
"Yes," lied Albus. He doubted anybody believed that Professor Albus Dumbledore ever slept. Sleep was for the lesser weak mortals, not him.
Severus still had a hand on the doorknob. He tightened his grip on it, frozen, looking apprehensive. "Were you asleep?"
"No," Albus lied again. "What is it, Severus?"
Severus hesitated. Then he finally let go of the doorknob and walked slowly into the room. "That dueling club idea... Potter attended and... well, I've come to learn some disturbing information about Potter."
Albus' heart skipped a beat. "Such as?"
Severus peered around the office as if he had never seen it before, looking restless. "He's a Parselmouth."
Albus felt sick. As unlikely this revelation was, he believed Severus was correct. "How do you know this?"
"During a duel, a student conjured a snake. The snake went to attack, and Potter stepped right up and spoke to it. In Parseltongue. I've heard the Dark Lord speaking in Parseltongue hundreds of times to Nagini, and it definitely was true Parseltongue. The snake lowered itself, curled up, and looked meekly right at Potter, as if it was waiting for a command from him. It was... well, it made my skin crawl. I haven't seen anything like that since..."
Four letter expletives came to Albus' mind, but he didn't say them out loud. Instead, he just let out a slow breath and sat back in his chair.
Severus watched him patiently for a long time, waiting for an explanation, because Albus was supposed to have all the answers. When he didn't speak, Severus eventually said, "Well, what do you think of that?"
Albus swallowed. "Well... this disturbs me greatly."
Severus nodded. "Me too. I don't understand how it's possible. It's supposed to be genetic, correct? His father," he said in disdain, "never spoke Parseltongue. If he could, he would've bragged about it, and the whole damn school -"
"Severus," said Albus.
"All right, well, I'm sure he couldn't speak it, and I know Lily definitely couldn't, so where did Harry Potter get it from?"
"I have no idea," said Albus, although he did have a very nasty suspicion that he hoped was incorrect.
Long after Severus had left, Albus sat there silence. Harry could speak Parseltongue. He was not born with that ability; he had no genetic link to it. That could only mean that some of Voldemort had transferred himself into Harry. This terrified Albus to the core. He pleaded that it was only Voldemort's powers that were transferred into Harry and not something... else. The evidence that Voldemort was somehow acting through Harry was mounting, but Albus still had a difficult time believing it...
The next morning, Albus walked around his school invisibly, listening to the students. He had no clue what was happening anymore. Maybe they would.
The entire school thought Harry Potter was the Heir of Slytherin, a Dark Lord that Voldemort didn't want competing with him.
By mid-day, Justin Finch-Fletchley, the boy that the snake tried to attack at the dueling club, was Petrified.
Harry was waiting to talk to Albus in his office. Well, he wasn't exactly waiting by choice - Minerva had left him there. If Albus had held any belief that Harry may be responsible for the attacks, it was erased as soon as he walked through the door.
"Professor," Harry gasped. He looked frantic and scared, his face pale and his eyes wide. One would think Lord Voldemort had just materialized out of nowhere. "Your bird - I couldn't do anything - he just caught fire!"
Incredibly, Albus found himself smiling. This was who Harry truly was. Innocent, good-natured, and still very naive about the Wizarding world.
He tried to get Harry to talk. When Albus gently asked him if he wanted to tell him anything, "anything at all," Albus watched an explosion go off in Harry's mind. Harry held eye contact with him for a moment, and Albus could see flashes of what Harry was thinking. It was all too fast for him to really take in, but he did see that Harry and his friends were brewing what looked like Polyjuice Potion (why on earth were they doing that?). Albus was very disappointed when Harry mumbled, "No. There isn't anything, Professor..."
Harry was still lying. Albus knew better than to try to coerce him. He thought to himself that maybe distancing himself from Harry too much was not a good idea. Albus had planned to guide Harry invisibly and only come into contact with him very sparingly. Perhaps this had not been the best approach. Harry clearly was uncomfortable around him, and he definitely was afraid of telling Albus what was really on his mind. He probably should not have been as intimidating as he was on the night Harry and Ron came driving a car to Hogwarts. No, he had to win Harry's level of trust somehow.
"Well, Harry," said Albus in the same soft tone, "if anything does come to your mind later, please feel free to come talk to me. The password is always candy of some sort."
"Oh," said Harry quietly. "Right. Okay."
"Speaking of candy, do you want any?"
"W-what?"
"Candy, Harry. Do you want any?"
"Er... all right."
Albus smiled as he got out the box of sherbert lemons and offered them to him. He didn't need to use Legilimency to know that Harry was thinking: Why the hell is Albus Dumbledore giving me candy?
June 1995
"D'you - d'you know why my scar's hurting me?"
Harry was sitting in Albus' office. He had come to his headmaster's office willingly. He had not been assigned to visit. It had been two and a half years since Albus had offered Harry to come visit him if something is on his mind, and Harry had not come to him once. No, Harry solved all his problems and eventually answered all his questions on his own with the help of only his two friends. Albus adored Harry but he did not want him to casually drop in either, partially because Albus wanted to keep Harry in the dark about everything and partially because he did not want to get close to him. But here Harry was. Harry had told him that he had a dream about Voldemort - a dream that Albus was convinced was true. It must have really been bothering Harry for him to come and visit.
Albus gazed at him intently, not wanting to answer, as he tried to come up with an answer that both satisfied Harry's curiosity and didn't tell him too much.
"I have a theory, no more than that," Albus said finally. "It is my belief that your scar hurts both when Lord Voldemort is near you, and when he is feeling a particularly strong surge of hatred."
That was a very unsatisfying answer, and Albus knew it.
"But... why?"
Because dark magic leaves traces. Albus was afraid that Voldemort was tied to life through Harry. He was afraid there was a tiny piece of Voldemort in him. Albus could be wrong, of course, but he was usually right... He prayed he was wrong here. He prayed Harry only had certain powers of Voldemort's. But after seeing the diary, Albus knew that whatever Voldemort had been doing when experimenting with immortality, it was sinister, and unlike something Albus had ever seen. Harry was looking into Voldemort's mind - he was sure of it. That was not normal. Linked minds meant something more than powers.
Instead of saying this, Albus took in a breath and then said, "Because you and he are connected by the curse that failed. That is no ordinary scar."
Harry was looking at him directly as if he was trying to discern what Albus was really thinking. The boy wanted answers, but Albus knew the real answers were most likely horrific. Harry also wanted to talk to him, though he was having some difficulty keeping a conversation up, because talking was never Harry's strength, so short sentences would be exchanged and then silence would resume. What Albus was thinking as he and Harry sat in silence was: I can't do this. I can't do this.
Albus eventually implied that Harry should go, and Harry quickly picked up on this and turned to leave. Then Albus couldn't stand the look of Harry walking away, so he stopped him and just looked at him for a moment. Albus knew something bad was about to happen, but he didn't know what it was, and he felt powerless to stop it. Even Alastor knew something horrible was going to happen, but with all his Auror training, not even he could figure it out. Albus eventually settled for wishing Harry luck with the third task. Really pointless last words, he thought to himself.
Albus did not know how Harry Potter was still alive. The past forty-five minutes had been absolute hell. Severus had come up to him looking as white as a sheet. Wordlessly, he had shown Albus his left forearm. The Dark Mark was black and burning as it had not in nearly fourteen full years. In equal silence, Albus looked at his watch with all the various hands on it, and he knew Harry Potter was very far away... away from the maze, away from Hogwarts... away from him. And wherever Harry was, Albus was certain was also Voldemort.
He was a wreck. There was only a very, very slim chance that Harry would come back to him alive. The prophecy would most likely be fulfilled tonight, and there was nothing Albus could do about it now. He did not send Severus because he knew that Severus would not be able to save Harry either. Albus had failed both the entire world and Harry, but when he put his face in his hands, he realized that it wasn't the world he felt bad for - it was Harry. He had let Harry enter that maze (binding magical contract be damned) and now, wherever he was, Albus could not save him.
Yet Harry had come back via the Portkey, clutching a dead Cedric Diggory with him. Albus knew he would never forget how he felt when he turned Harry over, expecting him to be dead, but then Harry opened his eyes. Albus felt relief greater than he ever had before. He felt like he had been given a second chance, and he had swallowed down a dry sob. He wanted nothing more than to pick him up and take him to his office, where he knew he would be safe. He never wanted Harry out of his sight again... but Cedric's parents were coming over, and their only child was dead. He couldn't let them discover their son's motionless body on the ground as he fussed over Harry (who was a bit bloody but in no life-threatening condition), so he told Harry to stay, against his better judgment.
It didn't take him long to realize who the traitor at Hogwarts was - or rather who the traitor was pretending to be. Alastor Moody would never silently take Harry out of Albus' sight on a circumstance such as this without his direct permission.
So he followed them as "Moody" limped up the stairs.
He heard Barty Crouch Jr.'s story as Harry listened too nearby. The story made sense. Everything fit. It was disgusting and horrible, but all the puzzle pieces came together. The story Albus really wanted to hear, however, was Harry's - not because he thought it would be a pleasant story to hear, but because he was dying to know how Harry returned. Harry was a miraculous human being and a far better person than Albus ever was, but Harry was only slightly above average in his magical abilities. Granted, he was quite gifted in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but he was still a far cry from where Voldemort was as far as magical powers goes. Was Albus wrong? Was Harry actually extremely powerful? Something funny had happened...
That night, Albus fully appreciated Sirius Black. Sirius had his flaws, but he clearly did love and care for Harry, and Albus was very glad that Sirius could somewhat fill the role of a parent. Why didn't Albus ever fulfill this role himself? Well, because Albus distanced himself from everyone, including Harry, whether this be out of cowardice or careful scheming, or both. Therefore, Albus was very glad Sirius was around. It took the pressure off him to be that comforting father figure. Yet even with Sirius present, Harry did not want to talk.
While Sirius sat down beside Harry, Albus situated himself at his seat with the large desk separating him from Harry (like the coward I am, thought Albus fleetingly).
"I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry," Albus said finally.
"We can leave that till morning, can't we, Dumbledore?" said Sirius harshly. "Let him have a sleep. Let him rest."
Sirius' heart was in the right place, but Albus had to decline. When Harry wouldn't look at him, Albus leaned forward and tried to make Harry meet his gaze. Very unwillingly, Harry eventually did.
Repeating the words that were once said to him, Albus said, "If I thought I could help you by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."
Harry stopped direct eye contact and looked down slightly, but it appeared like he was carefully considering that little piece of Fallon wisdom.
"You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you," Albus continued, even though he did not know exactly what had happened. "I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened."
And so Harry did. It was slow-going; Harry was not a gifted speaker, but he was all he had. Albus listened with rapt attention, completely absorbed in what Harry was telling him. It almost felt as if he was there watching it unfold.
"First, Wormtail took the bones of Voldemort's father from his grave," Harry said in a monotone. "He said something like... the bone was being unknowingly given and that it would renew Voldemort. And then... and then Wormtail went over to the cauldron and..." Harry shuddered a bit. "Well, he cut off his hand and it fell into the cauldron. Wormtail said... 'The flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will awaken your master,' or something like that. And then Wormtail came over to me and he raised his dagger and sliced up my arm -"
Albus stood up so fast that Harry jumped, as Sirius exclaimed, "That fucking bastard!"
Harry's blood...
He strode over to Harry and asked him to stretch out his injured arm. Harry showed him.
"He said my blood would make him stronger than if he'd used someone else's," Harry explained. "He said the protection my - my mother left in me - he'd have it too. And he was right - he could touch me without hurting himself, he touched my face."
Albus felt dizzying relief so great that he felt like he nearly fell to the ground. That... that might give Harry a chance at life. Harry might actually make it. Harry's life was tethered to Voldemort so long as Harry's blood was flowing through Voldemort. Of course, Albus couldn't be certain - this was theory - but he had to be right about this; he just knew it.
But Harry would, most likely, still have to let Voldemort hit him with Avada Kedavra again. And Harry would have to think he was truly going to die.
That reminder made Albus feel like a wall of bricks hit him, so he resumed his seat across from Harry as he said, "Very well. Voldemort has overcome that particular barrier. Harry, continue, please."
Harry went on. Voldemort emerged from the cauldron. He explained how Voldemort went around the circle and addressed each Death Eater one by one... Harry did not know the identity of many of the Death Eaters, but Albus thought he knew who each one was.
"Then he said... Voldemort said that he needed a way to get to me. He said, 'I can't touch him in his relations' care because of some ancient magic Dumbledore did.' He said he thought the World Cup might be better, because my protection would be weaker there, and he knew I was going to return to Hogwarts soon, and he can't touch me here either, because of you..."
Even though Albus knew Harry was not doing this to him on purpose, he still felt a pang of guilt. He had failed to protect Harry.
"He hit me with the Cruciatus Curse here," Harry went on (Albus took a tiny sharp breath here), "and then he told me he would give me a fair chance. He said it was just me and him, and that there was no you to protect me and no mother to die for me. So Wormtail untied me and gave me back my wand, and we prepared to duel..."
Albus felt enormous anticipation mounting, and he was hardly breathing anymore. He noticed that Sirius was unusually still as well. Harry took no notice; there was no hint of bragging.
"He mocked me then. He said, 'You have been taught how to duel, Harry Potter?' He told me to bow to death, that you would've wanted me to show manners, and the like. Well, I didn't, but he used his wand and made me. He threw the Cruciatus Curse again, and then he lifted it and tried to get me to say 'stop.' I didn't. So then he tried the Imperius Curse to make me say I didn't want him to do that again. I told him I wasn't going to say no. He didn't like that, and the Death Eaters stopped laughing."
Albus wanted to interrupt him here to say something, but he let Harry continue. Barty Crouch Jr. had already told him that Harry could fight the Imperius Curse.
"That's when I started fighting back, I guess. He tried to hit me with Crucio again, but I dodged it by tumbling behind a gravestone. He started mocking me again, and I just thought... well, there's nothing I can do, it's hopeless, but I wasn't going to die hiding - I was going to die fighting. So I stood up and raised my wand and pointed it at Voldemort."
Albus wasn't breathing at all now.
"I said... 'Expelliarmus!' and Voldemort shot Avada Kedavra at me. But then something weird happened. There was a jet of red light from my wand and a green jet of light from Voldemort's and... the beams met in midair. The wands connected and the single beam turned gold. Voldemort and the Death Eaters started - er, well - freaking out and no one knew what to do, but I knew to keep holding onto my wand... Voldemort became scared..."
Ah, now that makes sense... He had forgotten that Voldemort's wand and Harry's wand were brothers. Albus felt a slight tinge of disappointment, but nevertheless... Voldemort's blood was Harry's blood now, and Harry was alive...
December 1995
Minerva had brought Harry straight to him in the middle of the night. Albus was not thrilled at this. He wasn't supposed to meet Harry's eyes.
"Professor Dumbledore," Minerva said, "Potter has had a... well, a nightmare."
A feeling of dread overtook him.
"He says," Minerva tried to continue, but Harry cut across her.
"It wasn't a nightmare," he said.
Minvera frowned. "Very well, then, Potter, you tell the headmaster about it."
"I... well, I was asleep," said Harry, sounding terrified. "But it wasn't an ordinary dream... it was real... I saw it happen... Ron's dad - Mr. Weasley - has been attacked by a giant snake."
Albus leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling, not wanting to believe that Harry was sharing the mind of Voldemort, who was, supposedly, possessing Nagini. Oh please, please let it be just a nightmare...
"How did you see this?" asked Albus eventually, still looking at the ceiling and not at Harry.
"Well... I don't know," said Harry, sounding angry now. "Inside my head, I suppose -"
"You misunderstand me. I mean... can you remember - er - where you were positioned as you watched this attack happen? Were you perhaps standing beside the victim, or else looking down on the scene from above?" Albus asked hopefully.
Harry was silent for a moment. Albus wished he could look at him directly so he could see his expression.
"I was the snake," Harry said finally. "I saw it all from the snake's point of view."
Then the dream was real... and Harry was... Harry had a piece of Voldemort in him... Albus felt his heart breaking into a million little pieces. The evidence kept mounting. It was becoming more and more impossible to argue otherwise... Then he remembered that Arthur was injured. It disturbed Albus how quickly he was when it came to caring about Harry and not caring about others whose lives were potentially on the line. Why was his heart breaking over Harry and not Arthur Weasley, who was potentially bleeding to death? Because you love Harry, a little voice in his mind said. Even after half a year of not looking or speaking with Harry, the damage had been done long ago. He would never be able to undo that.
April 1997
Albus sat down behind his desk and tried to collect his thoughts. Harry landed back into the room, and he had the sense to sit down and wait for Albus to speak.
Minutes ago, he had been happy. Harry had obtained the memory from Slughorn. Albus had known Harry could do it if he set his heart in it, but he was still floored that he had actually succeeded where Albus himself had failed. But now... now Albus was feeling awful. Horcrux. That was the name of the piece of Voldemort that was living inside Harry. A piece of Voldemort's very soul was latched to Harry's. Albus had known, for a long time, that Voldemort was in Harry somehow, yet still, the thought of Voldemort's soul sitting in the exact same chair as Harry made him sick. He had suspected Voldemort had split his soul, but to hear that he truly had and that his soul was in Harry... It was a parasitic growth - a darkness that could only be destroyed if Harry's body was damaged... but Harry's blood was also in Voldemort now, so that most likely would keep Harry alive... and the souls would be split apart. The Parseltongue Harry could speak was actually Voldemort's soul coming through. Voldemort's soul was in this room...
Harry was an unintended Horcrux. The soul isn't meant to split - especially not as many times as Voldemort split his. His soul had become unstable, and it latched onto Harry as a baby when the Killing Curse rebounded... The diary had been a Horcrux... and so was the ring...
"I have been hoping for this piece of evidence for a very long time," he heard himself finally tell Harry. "It confirms the theory on which I have been working, it tells me that I am right, and also how very far there is still to go..."
Did he tell Harry he thought that Harry himself was an unintended Horcrux? Definitely not. He didn't want Harry walking around knowing something terrible like that until the last moment possible.
The conversation went well, considering Albus now knew for sure he was going to ask Harry to let Voldemort hit him with Avada Kedavra again. It killed him knowing this, but Albus knew fully well he was - and always would be - playing chess with everyone's lives for the greater good, and not for Harry, which disgusted Albus about himself to the core. Albus wasn't in it for Harry, even though he wished he was.
It was when Harry said that he had to try to kill Voldemort due to the prophecy. That bothered Albus a great deal. No. No, Harry didn't have to go through with this. He didn't have to walk to his death. Albus wasn't going to make him - Harry was going to do it on his own accord. Albus had to hold onto this thought to keep himself sane. He couldn't bear to think that he was actually making Harry go through with this. No, no, no, no - he couldn't live with guilt like that -
"You see, the prophecy does not mean that you have to do anything!" Albus was ranting as he paced up and down in front of a bewildered Harry. "But the prophecy caused Lord Voldemort to mark you as his equal... In other words, you are free to choose your way, quite free to turn your back on the prophecy! But Voldemort continues to set store by the prophecy. He will continue to hunt you... which makes it certain, really, that -"
"That one of us is going to end up killing the other," said Harry. Albus could hear the understanding in his voice. "Yes."
You don't have to do this, Harry - I'm not making you do this - you're doing this because you want to - it's not because of me - please, I'm not making you walk to what might be your death...
I don't think I can do this to you anymore, Harry...
There was a very long silence in which Harry sat looking thoughtful, and Albus tried not to cry. Harry was, of course, oblivious to Albus' true feelings.
Finally, Albus asked, "How did you manage to procure that memory, Harry?"
Harry smiled. "I used Felix Felicis that I won at the beginning of the year from Professor Slughorn. Hagrid and Slughorn - they're, uh, both passed out drunk right now. I don't think Professor Slughorn will remember giving up the memory at all."
After a moment of silence, Albus said, "Incredible."
"Incredible that it actually worked, sir?"
"No, it is incredible that a sixteen-year-old boy used Felix Felicis to help bring down a dark wizard rather than using it for something else."
Harry's eyebrows came closer together, and he looked like he was carefully considering something.
"Well, I didn't use all of it," announced Harry eventually.
"And I am positive you will use the rest for something equally constructive as this time," Albus said, giving him a sharp look.
"Yes, Professor."
"Now go to bed and get some sleep."
"Yes, Professor."
Harry left looking triumphant.
No, I definitely can't do this to Harry anymore...
A/N: Next is Grindelwald again, I think. I have one last idea.
Why did I have Dumbledore place charms on Harry at the beginning? I did this because it is a logical explanation to a dilemma previous Harry Potter fans have pointed out: How did Dumbledore know Harry was still alive after his parents were killed? He knew somehow, and he sent Hagrid to fetch him. Also, Dumbledore's watch... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I've made it that Dumbledore can tell roughly where Harry is in proximity to him via his watch. In the first chapter of the first book, Dumbledore looks at his watch as he was waiting for Harry, and he comments, "Hagrid's late." Now, of course, he might have just been looking at the time, but I made it he was also looking at how far Harry was. In CoS, Dumbledore knows immediately that Harry is at the Burrow because he "doesn't miss a trick, that man." It's like Mrs. Weasley's clock, kind of. Okay, I'm rambling, good night everyone.