So heyyy, everyone. I am ready for Crimes of Grindelwald to come out, but I don't know about you guys. This update is based on some stuff that will happen in the next movie. I might... probably will have to make some changes after it comes out, but I still wanted to get this out there before.

Anyway, reviews:

Elsa Kisiel - Thank you! It has been really interesting to watch how Canon has changed, because it has changed. It seems that people have a hard time accepting that for some reason, either because they do not know as many interviews I do, or because they really do think that JK Rowling would never change her mind. But to see the evolution between what JK Rowling sad in 2005 versus what was in the book in 2007 shows that she has changed her mind about Grindelwald before.

Guest - Thank you! Hope you enjoy this one as well!

Also, thank you to the people who have liked, favorited, or followed this story since the last update.

Enjoy!

September 1896

The first time Albus learned about the Mirror of Erised, he was fifteen.

It was the second day of his first year being a Gryffindor Prefect. All of the school Prefects and the Head Boy (Dominic Francis) and Head Girl (Jerusha Beecher) were lecturing the Prefects about their duties.

"Lastly," said Jerusha Beecher, "this is a side note, but the headmaster has stated it is still an important duty. The Mirror of Erised has been moved to the fourth corridor, room number 415, east wing."

Albus looked quickly at his friend, Fallon Jones, to see if she showed any recognition at the term, but she gave him the same blank expression.

"Why can't we just get rid of the blasted thing?" a grumpy sixth year from Slytherin said. "The thing causes more problems than it's worth."

"Because the Mirror of Erised is an important historical piece to the castle," cut in Dominic Francis before a Ravenclaw sixth year could retort. "If you don't like it, take it up with the headmaster."

"I'm sorry," interjected Albus, "but what is the Mirror of Erised?"

"Right you are, Albus," said Jerusha. "Not everyone here even knows what it is. Who here who's new doesn't already know what the Mirror is?"

Albus, Fallon, and two other fifth year Prefects raised their hands slightly.

"All right, well," Jerusha continued, "the Mirror of Erised is almost as old as Hogwarts itself. It's an extremely large mirror, tall, gold frame around it, with clawed talons holding it up. It was a Ravenclaw who made it, hundreds of years ago. There's an inscription on it, and at first it looks like it's in another language, but it isn't - it's just English backwards. You'll know it when you see it. If you stand in front of it, at first, it will seem just like an ordinary mirror. You'll see yourself. But then, you'll start to see something else. Everyone sees something different."

"It shows your heart's deepest desire," explained Dominic. "That's what the inscription says."

Intrigued, Albus asked, "And why does that cause problems? It sounds captivating to me."

"Well, that's the whole problem, Albus, isn't it?" said Jerusha. "It's captivating. People can become intoxicated by what they see. They can sit in front of it for hours at a time. It's made some ordinarily brilliant minds go insane because they stare at it for so long, they can't even tell what's real anymore."

Jerusha looked at each Prefect's face seriously as the new Prefects took this information in before saying, "Professor Corwin knows that none of us have the time to babysit a single object all the time. All he's asking is that we drop by during our rounds once in a while to make sure some vulnerable first year isn't gawking at the Mirror all night long. If you ever do see a student staring at it, alert us, we'll turn it over to Headmaster Corwin, and then it'll be moved again to a new secluded area. Got it?"

The Prefects all nodded. Albus felt fascinated. He knew how to make himself invisible if he didn't want anyone to see him looking into the Mirror. He was going to visit the Mirror the first chance he got.

That chance did not happen until the second week of school.

Fifteen-year-old Albus did not bother to make himself invisible. The night was so quiet, and it was almost three in the morning. He had gone to sleep but woke up again. The castle was as still as he had ever felt it.

He looked across the top of the Mirror. Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi was written on the golden trim. It did not take him long to translate it: I show not your face, but your heart's desire, backward.

He closed his eyes, stood squarely in front of the Mirror of Erised, and positioned himself right in the center of the frame. Then he slowly reopened his eyes to see what had appeared.

He saw his family.

His mother and his brother looked the same. But Ariana was there too, and she looked completely different. She was wearing Hogwarts robes. Gryffindor. She was smiling. She wasn't sick anymore. She wasn't an Obscurial, just a normal twelve-year-old girl.

And his father, who had died in Azkaban nearly four years previously, was standing with his family, healthy, happy, and whole.

Albus felt a lump in his throat forming. He didn't know what he had expected to see in the Mirror of Erised, but it wasn't this. He was expecting the Mirror to show him something that would make him happy, that he wanted to look at all the time. All he felt was a terrible sadness that made it hard to breathe.

The reason why this isn't reality is because of you, a voice inside his head needlessly reminded him.

Overcome with overwhelming sorrow and guilt, Albus felt hot tears starting to fall down his cheeks. He hated the Mirror of Erised, and he was never going to look into it again.

November 1902

He was one of the youngest teachers Hogwarts had ever had.

At just twenty-one years old, Albus had gotten back into Hogwarts. Two teachers had retired the year before: the Transfiguration teacher and the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Albus had applied for the Transfiguration position, but he didn't get it. That position went to someone who was already teaching at Hogwarts. But since Professor Dippet had liked him so much, he offered Albus the Defense Against the Dark Arts position instead as a compromise. Albus had taken it because he knew Transfiguration would open up again one day, and he didn't have any better ideas besides returning to Hogwarts.

Walking through the hallways, he almost forgot that he was no longer a student. It looked exactly the same. He was still in late adolescence himself, at a time when he physically did not feel like he was getting any older. He knew he was a different person on the inside, but sometimes, he forgot it.

One night, Albus came across something he had vowed to never look into ever again: the Mirror of Erised. The last time he had looked into it, he was six years younger. He hadn't met Gellert Grindelwald yet. He didn't know that he was homosexual yet. He hadn't lost his mother and his sister. He hadn't thrown away his moral compass due to an infatuation with the devil. Everything was different. He was a different person today than he was six years ago.

Would he still see the same thing?

Albus furtively looked around the room, as if he was expecting someone to be watching him. Seeing that he was indeed alone, he slowly walked until he was standing in front of the Mirror.

He did not see his family, happy and whole anymore.

He saw Gellert Grindelwald looking back at him, his gaze fierce. Albus took in a sharp breath, shocked by what he was seeing. Gellert looked slightly older than the last time Albus had seen him, but only slightly. Somehow, the Mirror knew what Gellert Grindelwald looked like today, even when Albus didn't. How could a mirror know that?

If it was anyone else Albus saw in the Mirror, he would have felt uneasy, almost scared, by the fact the Mirror knew what twenty-year-old Gellert Grindelwald looked like. He looked so real, every detail of him was there, almost as if he really was behind the Mirror, which would have been a creepy idea to anyone else. But all Albus felt was complete sorrow. The slight change in Gellert's appearance said that time was passing. The clock was ticking. Gellert had changed. Albus had changed. And Gellert wasn't here to watch Albus change, nor Albus he. What would Gellert look like in five years? Ten? They would continue to change, and they would continue to be apart. Each hour brought them further apart. A terrible ache, the emptiest feeling Albus had ever felt, was bubbling up in his chest. What if something happened to Gellert? What if he died, was killed, got sick? Albus would never even know. He would never be able to visit the grave of the person he fell in love with because he would not even know where he was buried, much less that he had died. And what if Gellert had taken another person to be his romantic interest? Was some other man holding him at night now? Or a woman? Gellert could go both ways. What if he fell in love with a woman, got married, and they had children? Would he ever even think about Albus Dumbledore again?

They were growing apart, time was changing them, and the Mirror of Erised was proof. Albus felt a couple of tears fall down his face as the gaping void in his chest grew with each passing thought of Gellert living - and dying - without him. Breathing was becoming difficult because Albus felt like his whole chest was restricting, all his muscles tightening, coiling in around the pain his whole body felt.

Gellert put his hand on the Mirror, as if he was really there, wanting to step out from the Mirror.

Feeling helpless, Albus moved in. He put his palm against Gellert's imaginary one, as if it really was Gellert on the other side of the glass. He could feel warmth coming from Gellert's hand, but whether that was real or imagined was unclear to Albus. It didn't matter the reason why Gellert's palm felt warm on his skin. Albus closed his eyes, lost in his own make-believe vision of Gellert's warm touch. So what if he spent the rest of his nights pressing his hands against the Mirror of Erised? So what if it wasn't real? He could teach during the day time and then retreat to seeing Gellert standing before him, wanting his touch. Who decided what was real and what was not real, anyway? Does an insane person know they insane? If someone thinks something is true, why can't it be true?

Albus stood in front of the Mirror for a long time, tears leaking from underneath his closed eyelids, unable to detach his hand from Gellert's. After several minutes had passed, he finally opened his eyes and stepped back.

"I'll come back," he whispered, as if Gellert could hear and understand him. Then he disappeared into the shadows.

It was only until the following morning that he realized how insane he was acting last night.

For one, he had slept in. He had woken up at 6:00 like normal, but then he thought that it was a Saturday since he had been up so late. It was a Wednesday. He slept through half of his first class before Professor Dippet came to him and asked him if he was feeling sick. His third years were wondering where he was, as he was supposed to be teaching them.

Albus jumped out of bed, apologized like a mad man, and got ready as fast as possible.

By the time he was facing his students, there was only twenty minutes left of class.

The thing about teaching adolescents, especially the young ones, is they always ask lots of personal questions.

"Professor Dumbledore, are you feeling all right? You look kind of sick."

"Thank you for your concern, but I just overslept."

"Why did you oversleep, sir?"

Well, what was he supposed to say to that? I spent half an hour gazing into the eyes of my ex-lover within the Mirror of Erised last night?

"I must be more tired than I realized. Rest assured, it will not happen again."

For the rest of the day, he was playing catch up. Once the last class ended, he collapsed into his chair behind his desk. He had flirted with the insanity line the night before and tiptoed past it. The Mirror of Erised was not reality, no matter how desperately he wanted it to be. It was a dangerous mirror that made people question what was real or even possible.

He went back to the Mirror of Erised that evening to cover it only to find that it was gone.

A chill went through his stomach. On one hand, Albus was glad the Mirror had disappeared. On the other, he was afraid that it had been moved because of him. What if a patrolling Prefect, Head Boy or Girl, or the headmaster had seen him standing in front of the Mirror, frozen, with tears falling down his face? Could they have seen what he was seeing in the Mirror? He had never been with someone else when looking into it, so he was unsure if others could see what he saw if they looked over his shoulder as he stood squarely in front of it.

He never found out the answer to why the Mirror was moved, but it was because Headmaster Dippet saw him standing in front of it, palm to the glass, eyes closed.

Early October 1927

Albus considered himself to be getting better. He liked to think that he was over Gellert Grindelwald. He had been seventeen years old at the time he had fallen in love with him. Now, Albus was a mature adult who had a good deal of more wisdom and maturity on his side.

When the Aurors had come to question him about Grindelwald's whereabouts, Albus had acted calm and collected, amused that the Ministry of Magic truly believed he wanted anything to do with him. Of course, he knew that they were correct in some of their assumptions. Yes, Newt Scamander was his agent at the moment. But Albus was staying far away from Grindelwald. He was teaching, free from the burden of dealing with matters such as war and mass murder. He was doing enough. He didn't need to do anything more.

"We want the same thing: the defeat of Grindelwald," he said vehemently.

Someone (it could only have been Bathilda Bagshot) had given over snippets of a memory. It was not a full, true memory - just a moving picture. Travers conjured it, and Albus had no choice but to watch teenage Gellert and himself looking into one another's eyes.

"You and Grindelwald were as close as brothers," said Travers accusingly.

"Oh, we were closer than brothers." He wasn't going to deny anything, or claim that the memory was falsified.

The thing about society is people cannot see homosexuality, even if it is right in front of them. The Aurors had no idea what he meant by that.

They told him that he was being put under surveillance. They put two bracelets around Albus' wrists, like shackles but without the connecting chain.

Funny, Albus thought as he examined his matching bracelet monitors, they actually think I cannot magically tamper with these. Albus could have easily taken off these bracelets without tipping off the Ministry that they were no longer on his person. One minute he was considered to be one of the most powerful wizards in recent time, and the next, the Ministry actually believed he could not overcome the mediocre charms placed on a couple of monitors.

But it doesn't matter. He would keep the bracelet monitors on. He had nothing to hide. Grindelwald was Newt's job now. If Newt ran into trouble, he could turn to Nicholas Flamel in Paris. Albus was staying out of it.

He was staying out of it because he was done with Grindelwald. He never even thought about him, in fact. The only time Grindelwald did cross his mind was when other people brought him up. Albus hadn't had any recent dreams about him. He didn't think about him at night time, alone in his bed. And he certainly didn't miss or want him anymore. There was no teenage lust left. He wasn't even sure if he had ever truly loved him. He used to be attracted to him, but back then, it was summer, and he was a teenager, and he was alone. He probably just thought he was in love with him, but he wasn't. Not really. Who in their right mind could ever love someone like that?

Gellert Grindelwald had shown his true nature, and Albus couldn't ever love someone who had done the things Grindelwald had done.

He would pass the Mirror of Erised test at this point in his life - he just knew it. He was doing so much better now than he had been at the age of twenty-one.

So confident was he in himself that he began to actively look for the Mirror. Not in an obsessive way, just casually look for twenty minutes or so each night.

He found it on the fourth night. It was covered by a large blanket, and it looked like it had been there for a very long time, undisturbed. But he was tired at the time that he found it, so he decided to leave it. He would come back to it earlier tomorrow, in the late afternoon after classes but before dinner, not in the dead of night. He had nothing to hide.

Even though he knew he was already over his desires for Gellert, Albus still felt anxious as he approached the Mirror of Erised the day after discovering it. It was broad daylight. He wasn't afraid of anyone walking in on him. He was only going to spend a couple minutes in here. Yet, for reasons unknown, he still had that butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling.

Slowly, very deliberately, Albus tugged on the fabric covering the Mirror. It fell to the ground, but he did not look into the Mirror straight away. He carefully straightened himself, took a deep breath as he was doing so, and he looked into the Mirror, expecting to see a more honorable deepest desire.

He saw their blood pact happening all over again. They were teenagers. Pain coursing through him, he let out a half-chuckle, half-sob. He smiled in both pleasure and bitter disappointment. He remembered this so well. He watched his eyes close at Gellert's touch, and then Gellert closed his eyes as well. The pendant formed between them. Albus knew what his younger self was in store for; they had made love in that barn afterward.

The present-day Gellert Grindelwald looking back at him.

The first thing he felt was a terrible sadness. He had truly thought that he was doing better than this. He thought he had recovered past this point. He thought he had made at least some progress. He thought that maybe he would see Gellert in there, but that Gellert would be different. Perhaps he would be a different, a good version of the man he had once known, innocent of wrongdoing. Or maybe he would see Gellert being regretful, apologizing to the world for what he had done. Or maybe he would see Gellert locked up in a prison, unable to cause any more damage to the world.

Instead, he just saw Gellert. Just Gellert. Yes, this is my heart's deepest desire. Just Gellert Grindelwald, exactly as he is.

What the is WRONG with me? He had made no progress. None at all. Despite the fact that Gellert was now a murderer, he still was in love with him, exactly as he was.

Sadness and disappointment in himself was replaced by sudden anger. He turned, flicked his wand, and slammed the entrance door. It made a loud resounding bang! through the whole corridor, but Albus didn't care. There were a thousand students at Hogwarts, all at various levels of controlling their magic. It was common to hear loud bangs, see flashes of light, and smell smoke and/or burning at Hogwarts. The sound would go unnoticed.

Even if someone came to investigate the source of the sound, Albus was too angry to care. His furious expression, complete with the tracking bracelets on his wrists, reflected back at him, along with Gellert Grindelwald's knowing stare. Albus swore he saw a glint of humor in Gellert's eyes, as if even Erised Gellert was making fun of him, incredulous that he was still Albus' deepest desire, even after all these years.

"I hate you," he told Gellert with as much venom as he could, his hands balled up into fists. The words sounded childish, even when coming from a fully grown man. "I hate you for everything you've ever done and everything that is yet to come."

Gellert just looked back at him, unchanging.

Albus raised his wand again and slashed it through the air. The entire Mirror of Erised cracked, great shards of glass splintering. Now several Gellert Grindelwalds were looking at him instead of just one.

He did not have time to regret breaking a historical Hogwarts artifact, for the Mirror of Erised mended itself before him. The shards of glass united into one smooth surface again.

This did nothing to diminish his anger. He broke the Mirror again and again, only for it to mend itself faster and faster. By the time he was done with breaking it, Albus felt like his anger had drained out of him and all that was left was pain.

He raised a hand to the Mirror, but any remaining fury was gone. Feeling like he had failed on many different levels, Albus quit the Mirror and the room, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

He held it together until he was in his living quarters. Once he had closed the door behind him, the tears began to fall. To be upset over losing Gellert was one thing, but he was also devastated by the realization that nothing would ever, ever, ever make him stop loving him. There was no undoing it. The pain he was feeling was just as sharp as the pain he had felt when he first lost him nearly three decades previously. The fact that he still felt pain like this, still, after all this time, was equally upsetting as losing him the first time. He would carry this love - and pain - with him, irrevocably, forever.

Nothing would ever remove Gellert Grindelwald from his heart. Not time, not distance, not silence, not anything.

Most days, he did not feel any pain for losing Gellert. Most days. But there were days when something would happen. Sometimes it was something innocent that would hit him like a ton of bricks, and he would feel the loss all over again and be reminded just how not over it he was. But most of the time, he focused on building himself into what he wanted to be: an excellent teacher. Most of the time, he didn't think about Gellert, but the fact that he could spin so wildly out of control so quickly scared him.

There would be no moving on. There would never be any happy ending for him. He would never be able to love anyone else. He would never be able to put it all behind him. He just had to keep focusing on other things as much as he could. Forget about Gellert as much as he could.

Forgetting about Gellert was becoming increasingly difficult. He was everywhere.

He loved him. He loved him, and time had done nothing to diminish its intensity.

He would never be able to face him. If he did, he would wind up joining him. All it would take is the words, "I love you," and Albus would become completely compliant, anything, he would do anything if it meant Gellert would hold him again and take away the terrible emptiness and loneliness that had become an unceasing reality for Albus.

And nobody around Albus knew. Nobody knew that Albus Dumbledore, teacher extraordinaire, was carrying this pain around with him, and that he was always on the edge, ready to fall into a state of despair whenever he was reminded of how much he still loved Gellert.

He skipped dinner that night. He crawled up onto his bed, pulled the covers over him, and cried himself to sleep.

1967

He saw something he thought he would never see in the Mirror of Erised again: his family. Twenty-two years after defeating Gellert Grindelwald, he no longer saw him in the Mirror. He saw his mother, his father, his brother, his sister, and himself, all together and happy.

It was the first time he ever felt joy looking into the Mirror of Erised.

December 1991

It was the first time he had ever spoken with Harry Potter.

Albus had watched him from afar from the beginning of the school year. It was much easier to keep close tabs on him now they both lived under the same, albeit large, roof. Albus had given Harry his father's invisibility cloak without signing his name. Of course, he knew that giving an eleven-year-old an invisibility cloak was giving him an open invitation to use it when sneaking around the castle at night. It would be interesting to see where he will go, he had decided.

Harry had run into the Mirror of Erised, and he was already showing signs of obsession. Albus knew he had to put the Mirror somewhere else, but he could not stand the thought of moving it without explaining to Harry why it needed to be moved. Harry had never known his family. To take the Mirror away from him so suddenly and without explanation would probably feel like Harry had lost his parents twice.

Harry had not argued or shown any resistance when he was told that the Mirror would be moved. He seemed to accept Albus' explanation and decision. He stood up when prompted, but spoke.

"Sir - Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?"

"Obviously you've just done so," Albus had replied, amused by Harry's hesitancy. "You may ask me one more thing, however."

Harry fixed him with the most earnest expression and asked, "What do you see when you look in the Mirror?"

Young adolescents always asked (and told) complete strangers the most personal information. No adult would ever have the courage to ask Albus Dumbledore what the deepest, most desperate desire of his heart is.

"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."

Harry stared, the humor going straight over his head. Albus could tell Harry thought, at least at this moment, that he was being utterly truthful.

"One can never have enough socks," Albus continued, trying to not smile at the incredulous look on Harry's face. "Another Christmas has come and gone, and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

Honestly, it would not have been terrible for Albus to tell Harry what he really saw at this point in his life. After Harry left, Albus stood in front of the Mirror once again. It was the same as last time: he saw his family, happy and whole. It probably would have brought he and Harry closer together if Harry knew that Albus saw the same thing as he. But Albus did not want to get close to Harry. It was better to keep him at a healthy distance.

August 1996

Albus knew he was dying, death was surely coming for him, but he was completely comfortable with that reality. The only thing about dying that worried him was running out of time before he could complete everything he needed to finish. He needed to set the stage for Harry's success as best he could. He still felt he was scrambling though, now that he was in the eleventh hour of his life.

Albus had not looked into the Mirror of Erised since 1991.

He did not look into the Mirror of Erised again, so he never knew he would have seen something different. He would not have seen his family anymore. He would not have seen Gellert Grindelwald either.

Had Albus looked into the Mirror of Erised before he died, he would have seen Harry, victorious, with Voldemort dead, not far from Harry's feet.