Kandahar, Afghanistan – Present

Anna bent over the body, narrowing her eyes. "Nurse Crawley, I need suction. Nurse Sybil, please adjust that light over my right shoulder. I need to get a good view of this."

They obeyed immediately and Anna threaded the needle through the muscle to suture the wound. Within a few minutes she stopped the bleed and checked the heart monitor. Nodding she removed her instruments and turned to Sybil. "Sow her up please and have them prep her for the recovery ward."

"Yes Doctor Smith."

Anna stepped back, pushing through the doors with her back, and removing her mask after she dropped her bloody gloves into the biohazard bag. The gown almost caught on her arms but she shoved it off, kicking at the container when she threw the materials inside it. Another kick and the whole thing almost tumbled to the floor.

A hand caught it and Anna sighed, "Thank you Gwen."

"Are you alright ma'am?"

"I'm…" Anna waved her hand at the door to the surgery. "It was just a hard one for me."

"You've been going for almost thirty-six hours already ma'am." Gwen put a hand on her shoulder. "And the middle of that was an eighteen hour emergency surgery."

"I'll get sleep after the post-op. I need to get this one put to bed before I can go there myself." Anna leaned back on the sink, pressing the bone of her thumb into the bridge of her nose to focus the buzzing pain in her head. "It'll all be alright."

"Ma'am-"

"Gwen can you please call me 'Anna' since we're in the middle of this litter box and no one's around?"

Gwen smiled, taking the spot next to her, "I think I could manage that."

"Good." Anna sighed, "What brings you here?"

"Just wanted to see how you were. Colonel Crawley's been asking for status updates about you and the article the journalist is writing. I told him that you'd been getting on like a house on fire and he hand nothing to worry about." Gwen lowered her voice, "I didn't mention how we uh… know him."

"Thank you." Anna snorted, "I think telling Colonel Crawley the details of that would probably give him enough stress to send his remaining grey hairs white."

"Especially if you went into any details." Gwen and Anna chortled together for a few minutes before Gwen found the breath to speak. "But I'm actually here about this surgery."

"And all the others I've been covering while Doctor Clarkson's in Germany?" Anna stood, pushing herself off the sink. "It's my time."

"Colonel Crawley's not worried about your work. He just wants to know the surgeries you're doing and on whom."

"Mostly locals with broken bones. A few with some burns and one was a pretty brutal birth defect but we managed it rather well."

"And this one?" Gwen snuck a peek through the window, "That doesn't look like any of the others."

"Because it's not." Anna rubbed at one of her arms. "She's a different circumstance."

"What?"

"She's…" Anna shook her head, "She was raped and she couldn't tell her father."

"What happened?"

Anna shrugged, "Our interpreter's a man and she won't talk to them. The woman who brought her in, her friend, had to give us the motions to tell us what happened and Sybil and Nurse Crawley managed to translate the rest between the two of them." She pushed back her hair, realizing she had layers of sweat coating over her body like hours on a sundial. "I was fixing some internal damage and making sure she's not carrying around anything unwanted."

"You give her the day-after?"

"It wasn't the day after but we gave her what we could and I told her to come back for a check up if she missed her next period." Anna shuddered, "It's against my principles to even advocate for what I'd be willing to do for her but…"

"It's the climate. If you don't do it then she'll get kicked out of her house and she'll be forced to the street."

'If they don't stone her first." Anna led the way to her office, "The worst part is that Nurse Crawley says this one's not the first."

"There's a serial rapist out there?"

"We don't know because none of the women'll say." Anna almost collapsed into her desk chair. "They're all terrified and ashamed. The most we get out of them is that a white man did it but that's seventy percent of the men here."

"Did the others have something?"

"Some of them showed signs of syphilis." Anna waved a hand, "I treated them and started looking through our records but I couldn't find a single soldier here who's been treated for it."

"What if they've got the latent kind?" Gwen frowned, "You can get that right?"

Anna nodded, "It's possible."

"I could request the medical records for those currently stationed here."

"Not without the right authority and if we take this to Colonel Crawley he'll have to investigate and then John'll have to add it to his report."

"I can't see Serial Rapist at Large in British Armybeing the headline the Colonel was hoping for when he brought you in to act as the touchstone here."

"I don't think so either." Anna looked up as the doors opened and the Nurses joined them. "Thank you Gwen. If you could find me some food and then make sure'll be a shower waiting in twenty minutes I could use a nice hot one."

"I could get you ten minutes if I swing it."

"Perfect." Anna returned Gwen's salute and then motioned Nurse Sybil and Nurse Crawley to their seats. "Alright, let's get started."

The post-op was wrapping up as Anna noticed John outside her door. He pointed at himself and she nodded while holding up a finger to get him to wait. She wrapped the meeting with the necessary details for their next surgeries and dismissed them to let John into the room.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He went to sit in a chair but saw she did not sit. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, I'm just on my way to food and shower and then a bed for as long as I could manage it."

"I could offer you mine."

Anna snorted, "I'd love to share your cot, Mr. Bates, and maybe break it with you, but I've barely got the energy to stand."

"Then I'll be quick." John kept pace with her, "I wanted to tell you the good news."

"What news?"

"I've got it." He held a letter before her with two hands and she had to blink furiously to get her eyes to focus on the script. "It's permission to get into the deep archives in Berlin."

"You found them then?" Anna brightened, "You found your war correspondent?"

"I'm about to, I hope, find out what happened to him during the war and see where he went." John bit at his lip, "I don't know if I can ask this-"

"What?"

"I want you to come with me." John hurried to hold up a hand, "It's as much your story as mine at this point. You've been the one helping me research it and giving me the contacts you have in Berlin. This is all thanks to you and I want you to be there when I crack the next step of this."

Anna sighed, putting a hand on his arm. "I'd love to go with you but they're swamped here as it is and with all the surgeries in the next few days-"

"What about the new doctor?"

Anna narrowed her eyes, "What new doctor?"

"Robert was telling me yesterday that they're bringing in another surgeon. Some Irish bloke serving…" John stopped talking, "He hadn't told you."

"No, Colonel Crawley didn't tell me." Anna ground her teeth, "Three months I've been here and not a word."

"Maybe he meant it as a surprise?"

"I hope he did because if not I'm requesting immediate reassignment back to Harrogate." Anna closed her eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm exhausted and not speaking respectfully."

"I'm not military." John reminded her, "And I've already delayed you long enough. Let me know if you can come and I'll plan our get away."

"You do that." He went to leave but Anna called out, "I'm hoping you can help me with something."

"What is it?"

Anna looked around before pulling John into a quiet alcove. "How well do you know the local people? Or the local journalists for that matter?"

"Most of the journalists I hang around are the foreign correspondents, like me, and we're always trying to scoop one another's stories so not often. As for the locals I've got a few sources of my own. Why?"

"Because what I'm about to tell you violates my oath as a doctor and would mortify Colonel Crawley if he knew I trusted you with this information before I told him about it."

"You've got my word I'd take it to the grave before I said a word to anyone." John folded his arms over his chest, "What could be so serious?"

"I had a woman in today getting surgery for serious vaginal tearing that caused some serious internal bleeding." Anna rubbed her arms. "I worried she might've been incontinent but we fixed the problem and it's not going to be as big a problem as I thought. Or I hope it's not."

"When you use the words 'vaginal tearing' and 'internal bleeding' in the same sentence as 'incontinence' I don't get the best of pictures." John shivered, "Was she raped?"

"Most definitely." Anna moved her jaw, "And whoever did it had syphilis."

"Did you cure it?"

"I got that part under control and if she doesn't get her period in a month I'll take care of that too." Anna took a deep breath, "The worst part is, and she won't confirm this, I think it was one of our men."

"How do you know?"

"Because apparently she's not been the first to come in to us in such a state. Most get treated by the nurses since all the doctors are men but all they'll say, over their shame and their terror, is that a white man did it."

"No other descriptors?"

"I've got the feeling he's not overly well endowed."

"Because he raped them?"

"Because of what he used to do it." Anna held up a hand, "I'd rather not go into the details if you're ever forced to print this but let's just say you can't cause incontinence with penile penetration and the sperm spread wasn't high enough. He's not packing much between his legs."

"So we've got an underendowed white man who's also got latent syphilis?" John puffed out his cheeks with the air in them. "I can't say those are the topics I hear in the bars."

"I don't know how else to trace him since I'm not treating anyone for syphilis and there's not been anyone in the records here that indicate anyone with those symptoms either." Anna threw up her hands, "I'm at a loss."

"But you think I'd have a clue?"

"I was hoping you would. I don't get off base very often and when I do it's to the other hospitals. I don't have any experience tracking anyone down or know how to find them in a foreign theater."

"If you ever get him in your theater I want you to cut his balls off." John rubbed a hand through his hair, his dark shirt sticking to his chest with the heat. "I know a few people, local women who sell me their homemade goods, I could convince to talk to you."

"They wont' to you?"

"No." John snorted as he shook his head, "First of all I'm a man. Then there's the fact I'm not related to them so anyone would assume it's adultery. And lastly, I'm white."

"All the things this man's done." Anna growled, "Men like this are the reason no one trusts the uniform, men, or foreigners."

"I repeat, find a reason to cut his balls off." John put a hand on her shoulder, "You get your food, shower, and sleep and I'll see what I can find."

"And when I get up it's straight to Colonel Crawley about leave. I've earned a week away from this." Anna put her hand over John's. "I wish I could kiss you right now."

"Don't get me too excited." John winked at her. "I'll tell you what I find."

"I'll be waiting."

Berlin, 1938

John paced at the bottom of the narrow stairs of her building, holding his coat over his arms and frowning as he looked through the panels of the door to see the swirling snow outside. He shivered, almost on instinct, and turned back to the stairs. That was when he jaw dropped.

Descending, like a vision, was Anna. Swathed in a golden dress that rippled over the floor, she met him at the bottom of the stairs. She held her coat out to him and john hurried to help her into it, risking a waft of the fragrance she applied with care and consideration.

"You look a little dumbfounded, Mr. Bates." She mocked putting a hand out to push up his jaw. "Is there something on my face?"

"It's all to do with how wonderful you look." John stepped back, pulling at his coat with the ragged tugs of someone who feels undeniably shabby in comparison with the person next to them. "I'm in awe of you."

"Well, they said the Fuhrer was to be there tonight and one wouldn't want to disappoint the man trying to turn his country to war, now would they." Anna pointed toward the door and slipped her arm through the crook of John's, "And it's snowing. That's always a good sign."

"Is it?"

"It's Christmas, Mr. Bates." She grinned at him, "One should always have snow on Christmas."

"It's cold."

"Snow's always cold. It means you've an excuse to bundle up closely afterward."

"I guess that depends." John put his hand on the door, looking at her. "Will there be a time for us to bundle together afterward?"

"Good things come to those who wait, Mr. Bates."

They walked the pavement together, wending their way as merrily as two can when the air holds breath like a captured prize, and reached the corner where John held out his hand for one of the passing cabs. As it stopped a man joined them and John faced him at the clutching sensation Anna's gloved fingers made in the arm of his coat. The man, dressed in the dark, black uniform of the SS with the blazing red armband clicked his heels together with a snap and extended his arm straight out from his body to shout, "Heil Hitler."

The driver snapped the salute from the driver's side and Anna managed a weak salute of her own, mumbling the words, but John only nodded at him. "As you wish mate."

"I'm sorry," The man's heavily accented English rung true of the memorized phrases from school and continued classroom instruction only rolled out now for special use. "I didn't know we had a foreigner in our midst."

"Journalist, actually." John shrugged, "Perhaps you've read a few of my translated articles. I did a devilishly good job on a restaurant review for a place, other side of town, I could recommend to a gentleman like yourself. Quiet, French, and with the best pudding I've had in three countries."

The officer frowned and turned to the cabbie. The cabbie could only shake his head in confusion and force the officer's attention to Anna. She translated quickly and then shrank back slightly.

"Ah, you speak much more quickly than they did to me when I was in school. I must be more prepared for such things."

"I'm sorry," John cleared his throat and made a show of attempting to speak in German.

Before he managed a sentence the other man stopped him. "Where are you going tonight?"

"Journalists' Ball. It's tradition to celebrate the coming of our Lord with a gathering." John waited for Anna's translation, watching the officer. "It's a pretty event where we get to put on our nicest togs and black tie instead of shirts and ties."

"And these 'togs'," The officer frowned at the odd word Anna chose to leave in its slang. "Are they appropriate?"

"You tell me." John opened his coat, making a show of modeling his tuxedo, "Think I can cut a rug in this?"

The officer laughed and pointing to their cab, "I'm freezing out you and your date and whatever rug you intend to cut tonight. Be on your way."

"Thank you." John ushered Anna into the cab and waved at the officer as the cab driver spun them in the snow to drive away. He leaned forward, speaking German to give the cab driver the directions he needed, and then sat back next to Anna. Taking her had with a furrowed brow he kissed her fingers, "Are you alright?"

"That's the officer who's followed me."

"Does he know where you live?" John craned back over his shoulder but the officer was gone. "We were at least a block from your flat."

"He's never followed me that far but the fact he was so close…" Anna shivered and John pulled her closer. "I'm scared, John. The way he stared at you… like he wanted to cut you into pieces."

"It's why I played the fool, Anna." John soothed, "I'm sorry I forced you to translate."

"It threw him off." Anna nodded, "You heard what he said to me."

"He called me an idiot and asked why you bothered with me." John smiled, pushing a strand of her blonde hair from her eyes. "It's going to be alright Anna. At least for now he's deferred."

"I don't think he'll stop John." Anna kept her gaze forward, her use of English keeping him to respond in kind so as to leave their driver ignorant of their words.

"Stop coming after you?" John shifted his jaw from side to side. "Think he'll come to the ball?"

"He wouldn't shut it down, not if the Fuhrer's coming, and even if he attends he can't…"Anna took a shuddering breath, "I just can't bear the thought of him waiting for me. It's only gotten worse since I first told you about it."

"What do you want me to do?" John gently guided her face toward his so their eyes met. "What do you need from me, Anna?"

"Just… just don't leave my side."

"Never." He kissed her gloved hand again. "Now we need to cheer up or Robert'll think something's happened to us."

They arrived at the rented hall and John escorted Anna from the cab to join the others leaving their cars dressed in their top hats and finery. If one studied them carefully they could see the frays on the tuxedos brought from mothballs or the not quite shiny veneer of a few of the hats. It was the exultation of a bygone age about to be fully eclipsed by the tensions rising in the nation. John almost put his finger out to feel the pulse of the tension that floated over the air as the crowd entered the building.

John helped Anna from her coat and removed his own to hand to the attendant. Pocketing the ticket, John offered Anna his arm again and they joined the throng moving into the hall proper. There the lights, bedecked with green garlands and shining white decorations to look just like snow, twinkled merrily. John smiled and turned to Anna.

"This is the kind of white Christmas I like."

Before she could respond a hand clapped down on John's shoulder and his free hand met the crushing hold of Robert Crawley. "I thought you'd never make it."

"It's a bit of snow." John shrugged and turned to give Anna her turn. "I'm sure you recognize Ms. Schmidt, from the office."

"Dressed like a vision, to be sure." Robert kissed her gloved hand and smiled before turning to John. "Might I pull you away for a moment?"

"I do hope we're not discussing business at a party Robert." John tried to joke, taking Anna's nod of acquiescence to walk a pace away with Robert. "What is it?"

"I'm sure you're not ignorant of a few things."

"If you're talking about the other reporters-"

"It's more than that John." Robert snuck a furtive look around them. "We've had men from the Ministries all over coming to crack down on us. First it's the phrasing of this and then it's the specific notation on that. They're taking us apart line by line John and soon it'll be paragraph by paragraph."

"Why tell me?"

"Because I need to ask you something." Robert held up a hand, "You owe me nothing, John, I want to make that clear at the beginning of this."

"Why are you using the same tone I'd expect if you were about to ask me to care for your children if you died?"

"Because the office I manage here is as near and dear to me as my own children… sometimes more when they're being finicky." Robert patted at John's lapel, as if to focus his words. "I need you to take over the office and close it if necessary. Close the whole thing down and then leave yourself if it gets too difficult to keep it open."

"I'm not the kind to run away Robert."

"John, it's not like that. We crossed the Rubicon together once but in this case we can't capture Gaul and we need to return to Rome."

John snuck a look over toward Robert's wife, Cora, speaking politely with Anna. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the Levinson family being evacuated on forged passports would it?"

"I got them out as soon as I heard the rumors." Robert shook his head, "They've been breathing down her neck but since she's my wife that makes her almost a British citizen and they're not circling yet but the wolves are closing in."

"If you think it's what's best for your family then you need to go." John urged, "I can close the office and take on the responsibilities for it."

"What about when you leave?"

"They'd have to drag me from this country." John focused on Anna, a sparkling vision as she flashed him a smile. "I wouldn't leave for the world."

"They're not going to let you stay." Robert forced John's attention back to his face. "They're not kind to reporters and you know it."

"I do know it but I also know that until I'm thrown from this country or ordered back by my editor I owe it to the world to let them know what's going on here." John stood taller, "It's my duty, Robert."

"Just make sure, when the time's right, you know how to get out before it's too late." Robert sighed, "I'll get you updated on all the details after the holidays. Then Cora and I are leaving for home."

John followed Robert back to Anna and Cora. More greetings were exchanged and John took Anna's arm, leading them to their table. He pulled out Anna's chair and she turned over her shoulder to speak to him.

"What did Mr. Crawley want?"

"To make sure my leg's not acting up." John hooked the head of his cane over the chair back. "The cold can lead to unexpected aches and pains."

"I don't think that's what he said." Anna took her glass as the waiter, spurred to action by their taking their seats, filled it with cava.

"Then what do you think he said?"

"If I read his lips correctly he wants you to take over the office management while he and his wife… what is that phrase, run for the hills?"

"I think you need to stop pretending you don't speak English better than most of the Englishmen I know." John sipped his own drink and smiled at her, "And yes, they are leaving. It's too difficult with Cora's family being Jewish. They're already out and Robert needs to get Cora to safety."

"As any good husband should for his wife." Anna took a breath, "And why I need to join in Mr. Crawley's encouragement for you to leave as well."

"If you read lips then you should know that I'm not leaving." John turned to her in his chair. "I can't leave."

"I know you think you're doing something noble here but the risks you're taking just by being in this country are enormous." Anna waved a hand toward the door. "That officer found you funny tonight but what about six months from now, a year? Will he find your antics impressive and encouraging then if the whispers and murmurs of war become the shouts they inevitably will?"

"Should that time come then I'll rely on two things. First, that if war ever is declared, the British government keeps their stiff upper lip and punches back because they refuse to learn German. Second," He took her hand when she scoffed at his joke and tried to turn away, "That I'd have to be torn, literally, from your side."

"You're speaking very dramatically." Anna tried to shrug it off but John shook his head.

"I'm very serious, Anna. I intend to stay right here, with you, until the end of time." He smiled at her, kissing her hand and wishing he could kiss her lips. "I intend to try and marry you one day, Ms. Schmidt. I hope you know that."

"I think I got that impression." Anna caressed the side of his face with the back of her hand, "And if that day ever comes I'll accept."

"You will."

"I will." She pulled at his hand, "But right now I want to dance."

John followed her to the floor with a grin that took over his whole face.

And they danced as much as they could that evening. Perhaps it was the drink or the atmosphere but John pushed past his leg to keep Anna in his arms as much as possible. The stuffiness of the room added a delicious red to her cheeks and when they left to join the queue for the cabs the cold air felt like a wonderful reprieve to their faces.

They arrived at her flat, John insisting on dismissing the cab to accompany her inside. Anna tried to refuse but when John noted a shadow on the corner he hustled them into the foyer. Both paused, the giddiness of their evening replaced with a moment of trepidation, but the shadow was just a man shoveling the pavement.

Anna sighed, "I thought it was Officer Grün."

"Who?"

"The officer who confronted you in the street." Anna pulled at her fingers, scrunching the fabric of her gloves. "He insisted on introducing himself a few weeks ago and then revealed he already knew my name."

"Why did you tell me?"

"I thought it was what they all did but this wasn't like the others." Anna shook her head, "He's interested in me in a different way."

"I know what way that is." John pointed to her stairs. "Then should I accompany you up, just to be sure?"

"I'd appreciate that very much Mr. Bates."

They walked the stairs together, comfortably quiet in their own private thoughts. When they reached Anna's floor, John led the way and then stopped at the sight of the same officer, Grün, from earlier. He noticed and John and a sweep of darkness came over his eyes before replacing it with a plastered smile.

"Did you enjoy your evening to use your togs?"

"I did." John kept Anna behind his right shoulder, cane gripped a bit tighter as they stood in the hall without giving away which number was Anna's. "And your evening, was it just as nice?"

"I didn't attend a celebration like you but I found my own fun."

"Then let me wish you a Happy Christmas and a good evening." John stepped to the side to allow Officer Grün to leave but he did not move.

"Might I enquire as to why you're here with Ms. Schmidt?"

"It's the gentlemanly thing to do, escorting a lady to her door."

"Then perhaps you would allow me to be that gentleman." Grün held out a hand but John shook his head.

"I don't think that'd be appropriate since I took her out for the evening."

"Then you should know how to share her." Grün smiled, "That is what we do in our new nation. We share things."

"People are not things."

Grün narrowed his eyes, "I do believe you've misinterpreted the situation here, Mr. Bates."

"Not really." John responded in German. "All I've done is recognize that you are trying to take something that's been neither offered nor returned. You're trying to use your power and whatever connections you have to frighten and bully because you can't trust to whatever charm you don't have to help you."

"You tread a fine line don't you?" Grün stepped closer but John did not falter, using his grip on his cane to keep him in place. "You think you can stand up to me?"

"I think someone should."

"And you disrespect this uniform?"

"I don't think anything about your uniform. My concern is for the man in the uniform who needs to leave."

Grün snorted, "You think I'll leave because you asked nicely."

"I think you'll leave because you're by yourself and you're the type who needs five men behind you to feel strong. That's what bullies do."

"And what do you do, Mr. Bates?"

"I hold my own and I fight my corner." John looked the man up and down. "You're too young to remember but I fought in the trenches your last Kaiser forced men to dig through their own country. I held the line there and pushed forward to the end and I'll do the same right now because it's the right thing to do."

"You must think very highly of yourself."

"I don't think anything of myself at all." John did not flinch under Grün's unwavering gaze. "That's the difference between you and I."

"The first of many." Grün stepped the side, "Enjoy the rest of your evening. I'm sure I don't have to remind you that we're watching you."

"I hope you enjoy the view."

Officer Grün turned to Anna, "And you prefer this broken, old man to me?"

"I prefer a great many things to you." She managed, "I hope you travel to your home safely."

He turned on his heel and left the landing. John hurried Anna to her door and joined her inside, pushing the bolt himself. Helping her out of her coat, John guided Anna to the sofa and put an arm around her.

"It's alright."

"No," Anna shook her head. "He knows where I live. He knows the number of my door, and he knows..."

"He knows you don't like him." John shrugged, "I don't have much faith in your Fuhrer, if I'm being honest, but I do think there's got to be some kind of hope that he still protects women."

"No," Anna shook her head, "His doctrine is 'children, kitchen, church' and that's where I'm supposed to stay."

"I've heard that." John sighed, "Did I just make this all worse for you?"

"It's fine." Anna assured him, "You did what you thought was right and I love you for it."

They both froze, Anna immediately averting her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"You love me?" John whispered and Anna raised her head, nodding.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long and it's… I know it's not ladylike to say, Mr. Bates, but I'm not a lady and I do love you."

John put his hand on Anna's chin. "You're a lady to me and I've never known a finer one."

They stared at one another for a moment before John, swallowing hard enough to echo the sound in his ears, leaned forward. With his hand still on her chin, he guided their lips to meet. In the first moment neither moved but when Anna's hands took their positions on either side of his face it was all John could do not to immediately ravage her.

But Anna's hands proved dexterous and swift, removing her gloves and his coat before he could even fathom it. With a tug on his lapels, Anna had him standing so she could unknot his bowtie and unbutton all the layers of fabric that separated them. His own hands stuttered a moment and managed a hold on her shoulder to break their kiss.

Their chests and rose and fell, heavy breathing of the winded and wanting filling the air, as John forced another swallow. "Is this what you want?"

"With you." Anna nodded, her fingers gracing over the back of his neck as her face moved ever so slightly to have her studying John's eyes. "Do you want it?"

"With you." He leaned down, taking a slower appreciation of her lips and mouth this time.

Their pace slowed but it only stoked the ardor. Graceful, and not so graceful, paces toward her small bedroom divested John of his shoes and socks, his jacket, waistcoat, and braces. When those clattered to the floor it distracted him a moment but Anna's insistent hand on his, guiding it to run over the silky material that still covered her body, brought him back.

They entered her room, still dark, and Anna pulled John toward the bed. When the backs of her knees bumped there she stopped them. John's hands traced her figure through her dress and sought the zipper before she led him to the straps holding it on her shoulders. They fell away and even in the half-light from the dim street lamps, and what little light managed to make its way down the hall to her room, John could see her.

He knew his fingers could never be delicate enough in their trace of her skin and eventual unclasping of her brassiere. Never as nimble as her fingers undoing his cuffs and letting the links tinkle into this trouser pocket before she pushed the shirt from his shoulders. Never as elegant as the track of her lips and hands over the skin of his chest. Never as careful as the nails rasping through the hair she worked over with diligent study. And never as silkily erotic as the run of her hair over his exposed skin as her head moved to study and taste him.

But John tried.

He tried to map the bones and skin of her back. Tried to follow the flow of her muscles to give her the sensations bubbling inside him without the words to really describe it and only his hands to translate. Tried to leave a line of kisses and caresses over her neck and shoulders that would tell her everything he wanted to say but simply could not find words to communication. Tried to hold her to him, or knead at her breasts, or take her tongue in his mouth with the passion she emitted with the scantest of brushes over his skin.

Eventually his trousers and pants hit the floor and he worked her own knickers down with her stockings. They lay back, darkness as their welcome cover for what might be an awkward event for two people so enthusiastic but so out of practice, and John sought to ease the tension from his body by easing it from hers. It was all he could do and he prayed to whatever god cared to listen that it would be enough.

John started at her mouth, kissing her with all the emotion he could manage without boiling over, and used his hand at her neck to guide them. Her fingers worked furrows into his hair and her leg rose up his side to trace her foot over his body. But John would not allow her to speed up proceedings and worked his way down her chest with kisses and smoothing motions of his hands to reach her breasts.

Anna's whimpers and keening moans as her body writhed under his attentions was all he needed to continue his assault on her. He kept up the nips and sucks, kissing when she cried out and tracing with his tongue when she tried to moan through clenched teeth. The pace set a distraction for her and her honest cry of surprise when he touched her where she started weeping for him was all John needed.

Gentle strokes, brushes over her swelling but tender folds, and persistent teases at her nerves set Anna's hands clutching at his head. John maintained his pace, feeling for her to be ready as her legs relaxed and opened for him, and eventually pressed a finger to her. He gritted his teeth at the tightness and paused.

"This might hurt."

"It's… Please." She could not open her eyes, "I can't bear it."

John slid his finger inside her and returned his other hand and mouth to their former occupations. Eventually she loosened, easing and opening to him, and John brought his thumb around to work into her while applying the pressure he would need to bring her over the edge.

And he knew he never, in his life, heard a more beautiful sound than her cry when she toppled over the peak. That unhindered, breathless sob of pleasure that thrilled him to the very core as he withdrew from hers, had him almost bucking forward to thrust and plunge erratically. But John held back, he watched and waited, and when Anna's eyes finally gained enough reality to see him he brushed her sensitive center with his arousal.

"Are you ready?" She nodded and John adjusted to align them. "It'll hurt."

"You'll make the pain go away."

John kissed her as a distraction and drove forward. She broke and he could only seat himself so far into her. Anna cried out, her eyes scrunched in pain, and John withdrew to the edge.

He waited, kissing and caressing her skin, and followed Anna's cues. She lifted her hips and John slid forward again, working slowly until he could feel her legs wrapped close to his hips and their pelvises notched together. Almost as if they had been made for one another.

Anna's trembling hand drew John's lips to hers and then steered him toward her breasts with the rise of her hips again. John moved. Thrusting and driving, supplementing fast, short strokes with long, slow ones he sent Anna toward the edge again. His lips on her skin, his hands on her body, and her walls wrapping around him like an uncompromising fist had John almost delirious with sensations that attempted to rob him of focus.

For every screaming nerve in his body demanding release into the sweet, silken confines of hers John refrained until he could hear that hitch in Anna's breath. He waited for her walls to contract, demanding their due from him, and John brought a hand between them. Lifting her leg first, to try and drive himself as deeply inside her as he could, John moved his hand to her nerves. With a few determined presses in time with his last thrusts, Anna fell over the edge again.

John finished without the same finesse, his body rutting on a primal instinct until he could tumble over the edge to join her. His head fell to her shoulder and her arms, quivering with the trapped energy in her body now released and leaving her weak, held him close. With a turn John managed to get them on their sides and slowly withdrew.

She hissed and he turned to her, "Still sensitive."

"I'm sorry." He brushed his lips on her cheek. "I know, I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Anna closed her eyes and then found his in the dark, just reflected pinpricks of light. "Thank you."

"I should be saying that to you." He smiled, propping his head on his hand. "I've… that was the most beautiful think I've ever seen."

"What?"

"You, when you came." John stroked a finger through her hair to brush it back from her face. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"I love you." She traced over his face.

"I love you too." John watched her expression, "Now that you've had your way with me, Ms. Schmidt, how do you feel?"

"Like I'm now the person I was meant to be." She moved close to him, working herself toward his side. "I've never felt more whole than when I'm with you."

"You're what makes me whole, Anna." He kissed the top of her head, reaching around them to manipulate the covers and bring them up over the two of them as they settled together in the bed. "I love you."

"I love you too."