A/N: I know this chapter took forever to upload, but from here on out no chapters have been written so who knows how long it will take me. Apologies in advance! Also, I finished this chapter last week when I was sick so I'm not sure how good it actually is haha.
After Emily and Hotch had their turn at playing the video game they both excused themselves to the kitchen to start dinner. While Emily was searching the refrigerator Hotch stepped aside to make a phone call. The brunette woman nodded as she pulled out ingredients for a salad before pulling out a pizza menu from one of the kitchen drawers. She dialed a routine number as she ordered some pizza's for them. Hotch entered the kitchen again a few minutes later with a slight smile on his face.
"Pizza?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.
The brunette woman smiled and shook her head slightly, "Yeah, well I don't feel like cooking anything."
"Fair enough," the team leader responded before nodding towards the ingredients on the counter, "Can I help put together a salad?"
"Sure," Emily answered, as she pulled out an extra cutting board and handed the tall, dark haired man the board and a couple of vegetables, before turning back to the counter with her own ingredients.
A few minutes later and the adults rejoined the kids in the living room, letting them know that pizza was on the way.
About twenty minutes later the front door was swung open quickly and two frantic blonde women came rushing into the living room.
"Mommy" Henry shouted with a smile as he hopped off the floor and ran to his blonde mother, jumping quickly into her arms.
JJ caught the flying seven year old and squeezed him tightly as she looked over the rest of the faces in the living room, seeing Emily with a startled look, and Hotch looking from the brunette woman to her blonde wife.
"Hey Aunt Penelope," Declan stated, "Where's the fire?"
Garcia look worried and flustered as she placed her hands on her hips and swung her head from the blonde teen to the two boys on the bean bags.
"The fire is apparently sitting on a bean bag playing a video game." she replied, nodding towards Ethan.
JJ had placed Henry back on the floor by the time those words were exchanged and the blonde mother was staring at the eleven year old brunette as tears pooled in her blue eyes.
Ethan swallowed thickly as he saw how upset his blonde mother was becoming.
"JJ?" the eleven year old questioned with a cracked voice.
"Don't JJ me young man." she told him as a stray tear escaped and ran down her cheek, "What the hell were you thinking? I got a call from Hotch telling me that he and Emily found you standing at the edge of a cliff and that you were so upset that you had contemplated jumping off? I didn't even let Hotch finish talking before I started having a breakdown."
The rest of the room was silent as they listened to JJ reprimand Ethan. Declan and Henry's eyes grew wide, as did Jack's, when JJ revealed what Ethan had admitted not too long before.
Ethan began to let a couple of tears slide down his cheek as JJ continued.
"Ethan Tyler Prentiss I don't want to ever hear those words come out of your mouth again. Do you know how scared I was when Hotch was telling me what had happened? I can't imagine how frightened Emily and Hotch were witnessing you saying those things."
The blonde began taking steps closer to the young brunette, who was still sitting in the bean bag next to Jack, the lighter haired brunette letting a single tear slide down his own cheek as he listened to what had happened with his best friend. Jack reached across the small distance between the bean bags and grabbed Ethan's forearm gently with his hand, grasping it like a life line. Ethan turned slightly to look at his best friend and saw the worry and concern staring back at him. Ethan bit his lip, trying to hold back more tears as he turned away from Jack and looked back at his blonde mother who was now only a few steps from him.
"Ethan Tyler Prentiss I love you SO damn much and nothing, absolutely NOTHING, can change that. I don't care who's blood you have running through your veins, I don't care who actually birthed you," she said as she turned from Ethan to look at Declan who was sitting on the couch, making sure the teenager heard what she was saying, before turning back to the little brunette sitting in the bean bag, "None of that matters. Blood doesn't make a family, love does. You kids know that, Emily and I have told you that over and over, that is this family's motto. You belong to us Ethan Prentiss. You are part of this crazy, weird, atypical family. You are MY son Ethan Tyler Prentiss, do you hear me?" JJ asked as she took another step closer, tears streaming down her face.
She knelt down in front of the eleven year old so she could look directly into his deep brown eyes, and it broke her heart when she saw how frightened, lost, and broken those eyes looked. She gasped slightly at how those eyes looked exactly like Emily's, the brunette woman's eyes had reflected those same feelings to her the day before when the blonde chose to run from the situation rather than confront it at the time. JJ refocused her attention on the young brunette in front of her, taking a deep breath she looked deep into his eyes and scooted closer to him. She reached up towards his face with both of her hands and he flinched slightly, which caused the blonde woman to freeze, before she saw Ethan let out a simple breath, the look on his face giving her permission to continue with her path. Her hands cupped his face gently as she smiled sadly at him.
"You are so important to so many people Ethan Tyler Prentiss, do you hear me?" she told him as she rubbed her thumbs gently over his prominent cheekbones, smiling slightly more as she realized again how many physical characteristics this young boy shared with his brunette mother.
"You are so important to me and I am so sorry if I haven't made that clear these last couple of months. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you, do you understand me sweetheart? You are MY son, MY child, just as much as Henry, Penny, and Declan, okay. I couldn't bear to lose any of you. You kids, all of you, including Jack," she said as she glanced up, & smiled, at the other young boy still holding onto his best friend, "mean so much to ALL of us, you kids are the light of our lives. I love you so fucking much Ethan Prentiss," Garcia gasped at the curse word used by her blonde friend and Ethan's eyes widened slightly, "your other mother loves you, Penelope loves you, Hotch loves you, Jack clearly loves you," she smiled softly, "your brother's love you, BOTH of them, and your baby sister absolutely adores you. So before you ever think that no one would miss you or, that no one loves you, you better think about every single person's life you have ever touched young man, because I still don't think you grasp how important you are to everyone you come in contact with. You have this amazing soul who can make anyone feel special, and at ease. You get that from your mom." she tells him sweetly as she spares a quick glance in her wife's direction, spotting the tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Again, I will tell you that I absolutely love and adore you Ethan Prentiss. I am so glad you are my son. I am so proud of you, and I am so proud to be able to call you my son, and I am so very, very, lucky to get to be one of your moms. The best thing this universe ever did was give me and your mom all you kids. So don't you ever, EVER, scare me like that again, do you understand?"
JJ cupped the preteen's face in a slight squeeze as she looked at him seriously, waiting for some kind of response. He swallowed thickly as he nodded slightly, trying to stop the tears from continuing to fall. The blonde woman smiled sweetly at him before she moved her hands from his face, reaching behind him and pulling him quickly into her arms, squeezing him gently and cocooning him in her embrace. The eleven year old wasted no time in wrapping his arms around his blonde mother's waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. He was seated on her right knee as JJ remained in a half kneel, holding her son and breathing a sigh of relief.
"I love you so, so, so, damn much my sweet boy." she said quietly, but everyone in the room could hear her words.
Ethan sniffled as he shifted in her arms slightly so that he could wrap his arms around her neck instead of her waist.
"I love you too mommy" he whispered back to her.
Emily let out a relieved sigh, and smile, as she heard her eleven year old's whispered words to his blonde mother.
JJ remained in her half kneel position a moment longer before pushing herself into standing, still holding onto her son and shifting him so she could continue to hold him while she stood. Ethan shifted in her arms, wrapping his legs around her waist and hugging her neck tightly for a few more seconds. The rest of the room in tears as they watched mother and son continue to embrace before Ethan finally pulled away slightly to look into his mother's blue eyes.
He smiled slyly at her before saying, "I'm really glad you're my mom."
JJ let out a gentle laugh as Ethan leaned forward and quickly kissed his blonde mother on the cheek before slowly released his legs from around her waist and gently sliding to the floor. JJ smiled down at him before cupping his face once more, leaning down and covering his face in kisses, causing the eleven year old to laugh as his hands grasped her forearms gently.
Before anything else could be said the doorbell rang. Hotch looked over at Emily and could see the emotions still pooling in her deep eyes. He patted her leg lightly before getting up and heading to the door to retrieve the pizzas from the delivery guy.
As Hotch exited the room to get the pizza's JJ slowly let go of Ethan so he could resume is place in the bean bag next to Jack. The blonde then looked over at Emily and could see the brunette wiping the tears away quickly before she thought anyone else noticed. Brown eyes locked on blue and JJ released a sad smile at her wife. Emily returned the sad smile with one of her own before releasing a deep breath. Both women were startled out of their trance when they heard Ethan squeal. The women snapped their head in the direction of the squeal and found Garcia smothering Ethan and Jack in hugs and kisses, both boys doing their best to try and escape the bubbly blonde, but to no avail. The preteens continued to giggle and smile at the onslaught before Garcia finally released them and turned her sights on Declan.
The blue eyed, blonde, teen suddenly realized her intentions and his eyes grew wide as he placed Penny on the couch next to him and then held up his hands as he attempted to jump off of the couch.
"Aunt Penelope don't do it" he pleaded as he finally made it to his feet.
Garcia grinned as she got closer, before she pounced, taking the blonde teenager back down onto the couch with her. Declan released a huff as the bubbly blonde landed on top of him, but that was the least of his problems when she began the onslaught of kissing his face and tickling him, causing him to let out some very uncharacteristically, non manly giggles.
"You cannot escape my love my blue eyed blonde" she told him as she continued to tickle him
JJ and Emily both found themselves smiling at the much needed break in tension. Penny had plopped herself into Emily's lap and was laughing and pointing at Garcia and Declan. Hotch came back into the room holding three boxes of pizza and rolled his eyes at the scene before him.
"Alright children, dinner is here." he told them as he continued on his way to the kitchen.
Garcia finally released the teenager who was now trying to regain his breath from laughing so hard. The bubbly blonde then turned and scooped Penny out of Emily's arms placing kisses all over the little blonde's face as she walked them into the kitchen.
"I'll get you back Garcia" Declan shouted as he finally stood up from the couch and cleared his throat.
"I doubt it my blonde prince" the eccentric blonde replied
Declan rolled his eyes as he followed Henry, Jack, and Ethan into the kitchen leaving JJ and Emily still in the living room. Emily took a deep breath before using her right hand to push herself up from the couch, wincing slightly at the sharp pain in her thigh. JJ wrinkled her eyebrows as she watched her wife stand up.
"You're in pain" the blonde stated, nodding at the brunette's leg.
Emily shrugged, "It's okay. I just overdid it today."
"Overdid it by going in search of our eleven year old son?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Maybe"
"I thought your leg was better?"
Emily sighed as she looked at JJ, "It is better, just not one hundred percent."
"Well" the blonde sighed, "I'd know that if you actually talked to me."
"I tried when I came home yesterday but then you left because you were overwhelmed." the brunette countered.
"Well if you would have just talked to me from the beginning instead of shutting me out then I would know everything about how your injuries were healing."
Emily opened her mouth to reply but JJ continued on.
"But nooooo, someone has to be a stubborn pain in the ass martyr when it comes to these situations. Instead of sucking up your pride and confessing how you feel, you hold it all in and make yourself take all the blame and then you end up hating yourself for something that was out of your control."
"It wouldn't have been out of my control-"
"Shut the fuck up Emily" JJ nearly shouted at her, somehow controlling the loudness of her voice.
Everyone in the kitchen had stopped what they were doing, some with pizza halfway to their mouth, when all of the arguing had started. They were all staring at the two mothers but no one moved.
The brunette woman snapped her mouth shut, still stunned at the words that had come out of her wife's mouth.
"What happened was out of your control Emily. Nothing could have changed that. You probably think that if you had never taken that undercover assignment all those years ago, then that would have changed what happened. But guess what? We wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't have this family. We wouldn't be married. Some of the kids in that kitchen wouldn't exist. And I know, Emily, I know that isn't something you would ever wish, or ever want. Because I know how much you love those kids, how much you love your family...how much you love me."
The brunette let a stray tear escape and JJ watched as it slid down her wife's cheek, over the scar that was now present under her left eye. She watched as Emily bit her lower lip and fought off other tears from falling.
"I don't deserve you. You deserve so much better. Someone who would never hurt you. Someone who could make you happy. I-" the tall brunette confessed.
"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss don't tell me what I want and don't want. And stop degrading yourself, if anything I don't deserve you. You are selfless and brave and you constantly put everyone else before you. I never knew how truly happy I could be until I met you, you idiot." the blonde told her as a tear rolled down her own cheek.
By this time Garcia and Hotch had finally snapped out of their stupor and had managed to get most of the kids herded outside onto the back deck. The last one Hotch had to force outside was Declan who was still trying his best to watch the scene play out. As the dark haired agent finally corralled the teenager outside, Declan huffed out annoyingly.
"Why couldn't we just finish watching. Everything they are talking about relates to us also."
"Because it isn't our place to eavesdrop. Your parents need to have this conversation without prying eyes and ears."
"Why?" Ethan questioned, stepping up on the other side of Hotch.
The tall dark haired man sighed as he looked down at the preteen, "Your moms need to be able to have a conversation about their relationship without having to worry about any of you listening. They need to be able to discuss things freely, as well as be angry with each other without worrying about its effects on you all."
"But what if they are so angry at each other that they decide to divorce?" Declan asked nervously.
"Yeah, I mean both of them are insanely mad at each other." Ethan added
"I think JJ is more angry at Emily than the other way around. Emily is still too mad at herself for what happened." the blonde teen said as he looked at his brother.
"I guess, but still JJ said the F word to Emily, I've never heard her speak like that to her before."
Hotch sighed as he looked from Declan to Ethan, "Look both of them are hurting right now, for different reasons, and they need to be able to deal with that before trying to fix the rest of this family. And I know that you both want to help in your own way, but they are the moms and it's their job, not yours. So they need to get all of their feelings out now, since they already brought it up. If they continue to put it off it will just fester and get worse."
"But Emily sounded like she wanted JJ to be happy with someone else." Ethan pointed out, "And that sounds like the beginning of a pathway to divorce."
Hotch smiled slightly at the eleven year old and his choice of words before he smiled even wider, causing Ethan and Declan both to crinkle their eyebrows in confusion.
"Boys if there is one thing I know about your parents it is that they are completely, one hundred percent, head over heels in love with each other."
Both the blonde and the brunette raised their hand to counter but Hotch held up his own hand as he continued.
"Everyone in relationships have disagreements and fights, it's just a part of life. People get mad and they yell at each other, they say hurtful things to one another. It's not pretty, but unfortunately it happens more times than not. And your parents are no exception. This isn't the first time they have yelled and screamed at each other and it probably won't be the last. I know they don't usually fight like that, but they still argue and disagree and get upset with one another. I've seen it multiple times. But what I do know, is that no matter what, they always apologize and move on. Because your moms love each other so much, they would die for one another, just like they would for each of you kids, which I know you don't want to hear, but I also think you need to hear. They will do whatever it takes to protect your family. I know things have been rough and unfair these last couple of months, but I am also telling you that as someone who has watched this family evolve over the years, that those two women in there are taking the first step in fixing their relationship and this family. And this might not be the last time they yell and argue with one another about what's happened, because what happened to you guys was traumatic, but you have to believe that they will come through it and your family will come through it."
"We aren't saying they don't fight." Declan responded
"Yeah, it's just they hardly ever fought like that before." added Ethan
"I know they have gotten into arguments and fights before and I know they tease each other a lot too. And you have seen them fight like that in the past, but it wasn't something that festered for two months before the two of them addressed it. This fight will be different and I know they won't be able to settle it all tonight, it will probably take weeks, possibly months for them to get through everything that has happened, but what I am saying is don't give up on them, and don't dwell on their fights. It's just something they are going to have to work through as a couple."
"I'm still worried." Ethan stated as he looked down at his plate and picked up his pizza.
"Me too" Declan added in a whisper, as he looked over towards the back door.
Meanwhile, back inside Emily and JJ were still arguing and the brunette was just replying to JJ's comment.
"But I failed you." the brunette said quietly as she looked down at the floor, trying her best to keep the tears at bay.
JJ finally made her move and walked up to her wife. She lifted her hand and placed her fingers lightly under Emily's chin, gently lifting it up so that she could look into her eyes. JJ's heart clenched when she saw how broken the brunette looked. Tears were pooling in dark eyes but she never wavered, instead her blue eyes locked onto her wife's brown ones.
"You never failed me Em. If anything you went above and beyond to protect me...and the kids."
Hearing JJ confess that, while looking at her so intently, with so much conviction, finally broke the brunette. She let out a loud wail as she let the tears fall, shaking her head, trying everything she could to disagree with the blonde. JJ took a step towards her, reaching out to pull her into a hug, but Emily held up her hands as she took a step back to avoid the hug. The blonde sighed but shook her head as she took another step toward her wife.
"You're not doing this alone Emily. I know you're scared and angry at yourself, but I'm going to hug you because I know you need it and I know you want it, you're just afraid to admit that. And also because I really need the hug too."
Emily still attempted to take another step away, but JJ was quicker and she wrapped her arms around the brunette trapping her arms next to her body as Emily began to cry harder when JJ held her tightly. Slowly, the blonde felt the brunette begin to relax, before she felt Emily begin to wrap her arms around JJ. The blonde smiled into Emily's neck as she shifted their arms to be in a more comfortable embrace. JJ sighed slightly before hugging her wife even tighter as she continued to cry. It only took a moment for the blonde to join in on the crying, the weight of everything that had happened finally crashing down on them both. They stood there a few more minutes before Emily began to pull away and this time JJ let her.
They both looked at each other, red eyes and tear stained cheeks before letting out matching snorts. Both women wiped at their faces even more looking nervously back at one another.
"Well that's a start." JJ stated as she gave Emily a small smile.
The brunette could only nod before she turned her head towards the kitchen and noticed it was empty.
"Where did everyone go?" she asked, turning back to the blonde.
"I think Garcia and Hotch made them all go outside to eat once we started yelling at each other." JJ replied, feeling slightly guilty.
"Great, more reason for all of them to hate me." Emily said, releasing another deep breath.
"They don't hate you Emily, they are just upset and confused about everything."
"Well I am sure this didn't give me any bonus points." she responded as she gestured between the two of them.
JJ shrugged, "Well hopefully they'll get over this too."
The blonde then walked into the kitchen Emily trailing behind her. They both grabbed a plate before grabbing a slice of pizza.
"Should we join them?" the brunette asked as she nodded towards the back door.
"Probably, that way they know I didn't try to kill you." JJ joked as she made her way to the door.
"Umm, don't you mean they know I didn't try to kill you?"
Before the blonde opened the door she turned back to Emily with a sad smile, "No way, I was the one doing most of the yelling, so therefore it would have been me they would question."
JJ then opened the back door and stepped onto the back porch, Emily still standing inside the kitchen, watching as JJ joined Hotch and Garcia making small talk, trying to act like everything was okay. The brunette watched as the kids began to eye JJ before looking back towards the door, and Emily realized they were looking for her. She took a deep breath before taking a step out the door and shutting the door behind her. She scanned the back porch and noticed how Declan and Ethan both seemed to relax slightly when she made her appearance. Even Henry she noticed let out a small smile before turning his attention back to his pizza. She released another breath before turning and heading over to the small group of adults.
That evening went a little differently than other evenings the past couple of months. Once everyone had finished the dinner and cleaned up the little mess in the kitchen the group reconvened in the living room and decided to watch a movie. Declan and Henry sprawled themselves across the bean bags on the floor, Garcia made herself comfortable on the love seat with JJ taking up the space next to her and Penny snuggled in her lap. Emily sat on on end of the couch, Ethan choosing to sit next to her. The preteen laid down, placing his head in her lap before releasing a sigh of contentment as the movie began to play. Jack jumped onto the space next to Ethan, extending his legs on one side of his best friend while he laid his own head in his dad's lap who was sitting on the other end.
It wasn't very far into the movie when Emily reached out with her good hand and began to run her fingers through the little bit of hair Ethan had growing back. JJ caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and refocused her attention onto her wife and son, watching with a smile as Emily's hand began to rub soothingly up and down Ethan's back. The blonde smiled even more when she noticed Ethan's eyes fluttering shut with the soothing motions from his mother. She let out her own sigh of contentment as she turned her attention back to the movie, bending over slightly to press a kiss to the top of a sleeping Penny's head.
When the movie ended Ethan, Jack, Penny, and Henry were all fast asleep. Declan rolled and stretched his arms above his head before pushing himself off of the bean bag. He looked around at the scene surrounding him and released a crooked smile. He then made eye contact with JJ and pointed to Henry.
"Want me to carry him up?"
"You don't have to Dec, you can wake him up."
The blonde teenager shook his head, "Nah, I got him." he replied as he bent down and scooped the sleeping blonde into his arms before bidding goodnight to the adults and then heading up the stairs.
"I better get going it's getting late." stated Garcia as she leaned towards JJ and pressed a kiss to the sleeping blonde toddler in her best friends arms.
"Me too, I need to get this guy to bed." Hotch replied as he nodded to a sleeping Jack.
The other adults all smiled as Hotch shifted trying to wake Jack carefully, while Emily did the same with Ethan. Both boys mumbled incoherently as they were slowly brought out of their slumber.
"Come on Jack we need to go home, wake up."
"Ethie wake up sweetie. The movie is over and it's time to head upstairs for bed." Emily said gently as she rubbed her son's back.
The preteen mumbled more before pushing himself enough to flip over and face the couch, his head still in his brunette mother's lap.
JJ released a quiet chuckle at the smaller brunette's response as she stood up with Penny sleeping soundly in her arms.
"I'm going to take this one upstairs to bed." she stated before turning to look at Hotch, "Thanks for everything Hotch."
The older man shook his head, "I didn't do anything JJ, this is what family does for one another, right?" he stated with a knowing smile.
JJ smiled and returned his statement with slight nod.
"She's right Hotch, thank you." Emily added as she attempted to lift Ethan's head off of her lap so that she could stand up.
Before Hotch could respond Jack finally opened his eyes and looked around the room with tired eyes, "What time 's it?"
All the adults chuckled lightly at the preteen as Hotch brushed his son's hair out of his eyes and began talking quietly to him.
"JJ are you, umm, coming back with me? Or?" Garcia asked as she threw her purse over her shoulder.
The taller blonde turned to make eye contact with her brunette wife before turning back to her best friend.
"Actually I think I am just going to stay here."
Garcia nodded with a smile before placing a kiss to JJ's cheek and waving goodbye to Emily and Hotch. The bubbly blonde showed herself out, shutting the front door quietly behind her.
JJ then turned and headed up the stairs to finally put Penny down for the night. Once she was making her way up the stairs Emily turned back to Hotch who had finally gotten Jack to sit up. The light haired brunette was watching Ethan carefully, concern evident on his face.
"He's going to be alright Jack." Emily told him gently as she stepped towards him to brush some of his bangs out of his eyes.
Concerned brown eyes turned up to meet her deep brown, "Are you sure, cause I'm still scared, especially after what happened."
Emily bent down onto one knee to be at eye level with her son's best friend. She winced slightly at the pain in her leg, but ignored it as she rubbed Jack's back with her good hand.
"I'm so thankful that Ethan has you as his best friend. It's like you two were meant for each other." she told the young boy with a smile, "I promise that eventually he will be okay. It's going to take time and a lot of love, but with you and his family and all of the people who love him, I know he's going to be okay."
She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his temple as she pulled him into her slightly. Emily could feel Jack relax slightly, but she knew he was going to continue worrying about his best friend.
"Can I stay here tonight Aunt Emily?" he asked quietly into her shoulder, "Please?"
Before answering him the brunette woman looked over at Hotch who was still sitting on the couch next to his son. She knew he had heard the question so she was looking to her boss for his opinion. He nodded at the request.
"Sure sweetheart, you can stay here tonight. I'm sure Ethan would really like that." she answered before placing one last kiss to his temple and then pushing herself back up into standing, biting her lip in pain as she did so.
"Someone needs to take her pain medicine." Hotch told her pointedly as he also stood up.
"I'm fine" she answered as she looked back down at the two eleven year olds.
Jack leaned over Ethan carefully as he began to gently shake him to wake him up.
"Ethan wake up I get to spend the night here. We need to go up to bed though, we fell asleep on the couch."
"I don't wanna" the darker brunette groaned as he pushed Jack gently away from him.
"Come on ya big baby, I want to go sleep in a bed, get up." Jack told him more forcefully as he tugged on his best friend.
"Ughghgh, you're so bossy. Why are we friends?" Ethan responded in a playful tone as he finally rolled over and sat up, eyes still heavy.
"Hey handsome, you guys need to go change into some pj's and I'll be up in a minute to say goodnight." Emily said to Ethan as he licked and smacked his lips before yawning and then rolling off of the couch into a standing position.
"Jack really gets to spend the night?" he asked as he yawned again.
"Yep, now lets go upstairs." answered Jack as he gave Ethan a small shove forward.
"Okay, okay, lay off pushy." Ethan stated as he walked towards the stairs, Jack following closely.
"Excuse me, Jack, are you forgetting something?" Hotch asked with his arms open.
The light haired brunette smiled at his dad before running back over to him and throwing his arms around his waist.
"Love you dad, thanks for letting me stay."
"You're welcome, buddy, and I love you too. You be good okay? And I'll come get you tomorrow." he told his son as they pulled out of the hug.
"Okay, g'night" he said before turning and running back to the stairs, following Ethan up slowly, giving him a gentle shove every couple of steps to make sure he kept moving.
Emily and Hotch shook their heads at their sons before Hotch headed towards the front door.
"Just let me know when you're ready to get rid of him tomorrow and I'll come get him. I know you guys need to have a talk with Ethan and I don't want Jack getting in the way."
"Come on Hotch you know Jack is family, as are you. He's not in the way. Besides he would have just worried all night long if he didn't get to stay. It's better this way, maybe for both of them."
The dark haired man nodded as he opened the front door, turning to look at the brunette woman, "Call if you need anything Emily. I mean anything, okay? You have an entire family out here who has your back, got it?"
"Yes sir" she replied with a mock salute and a roll of her eyes.
"I'm serious Emily. Any one of us would be here in a heartbeat."
The brunette woman swallowed thickly and nodded her understanding as she grasped the front door.
Hotch nodded again before bidding goodnight and walking out onto the front porch. Emily stood at the door watching to make sure he made it out of the driveway before she shut and locked the front door. Then she turned and tidied up the living room a little before heading towards the stairs. She looked up at the top as she took a deep breath before starting her ascent slowly, her leg beginning to throb before she even made it halfway to the top.
When she finally made it to the top she turned to the left and headed down the hallway to Declan's room. She knocked lightly on the door and when she received no answer she opened it quietly to peek in. She saw the blonde teen sound asleep on his back one arm thrown behind his head and the other draped across the bed. Henry was also sound asleep next to Declan, the little blonde's head resting on his brother's outstretched arm, using it as a pillow. He was on his side, facing his brother, one of his arms curled into his chest and he was breathing evenly. She smiled at the sight and couldn't stop herself from walking into the room quietly. She walked up to the bed and bent over to place a goodnight kiss to each of their cheeks before sneaking back out. She then made her way back down the hallway, this time stopping at Ethan and Henry's room. She pushed the cracked door all the way open and shook her head at the site before her, biting back a laugh. Jack and Ethan had pulled both mattresses off of the bunk bed and pushed them together. They were both sound asleep next to each other, one blanket pulled over both of them. She walked into the room and knelt down beside their makeshift bed, leaning over to place kisses on both of their cheeks. She held back a groan as she pushed herself back to her feet. She exited the room and made her way across the landing to the last room before the master bedroom. She opened the door and walked quietly inside to place a goodnight kiss on Penny's head before turning and leaving the room.
Emily stood outside Penny's bedroom for few more minutes as she stared at the door at the end of the hall. She hadn't seen JJ come back down so she was assuming the blonde was in their room. Emily could feel her heart rate speed up as she played different scenarios in her head about what would transpire next, and none of them were good. She finally took a deep breath and began walking to the master bedroom. When she got to the door she hesitated again. Finally, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before knocking lightly. After waiting a few seconds she pushed the door open gently and peeked inside. JJ was in bed leaning against the headboard, reading a book with her lamp on. She looked up at Emily and tilted her head to the side.
"Why are you knocking?" the blonde asked as she looked at her wife.
"I, uh, I wasn't sure that you wanted me in here." Emily answered
JJ sighed as she put down the book in her hands, "Emily this is your room too. I know we have a lot to work through but I'm not going to kick you out of this room, or this bed, when you're still in pain."
The brunette opened her mouth to object but JJ held up a hand to stop her, "Don't even deny it Emily, Hotch sent me a text before he left saying that you needed to take a pain pill before bed tonight."
"Traitor" she whispered to herself as she stepped inside the bedroom, shutting the door gently behind her.
The blonde rolled her eyes, "I can hear you Emily."
The brunette turned to meet her wife's blue eyes and merely shrugged, "Well he is. I am fine."
"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss I know you don't like the way those meds make you feel but I'm not an idiot and I know you will toss and turn and groan all night long, suffering through the pain because you think you deserve it. But you better listen to me and take the damn medicine because I will not put up with it. Just to spite you I may make you go sleep on the couch if you refuse to take those pills."
The brunette narrowed her eyes at her wife, "You wouldn't"
"Try me" the blonde dared as she narrowed her own eyes and crossed her arms across her chest.
"Ugh" Emily sighed in defeat as she walked into their closet to look for her pajamas.
JJ sighed from her position in their bed, "I'm not doing it to be mean Emily, you know that right? I just...I don't want you to be in pain and we don't have anywhere to go tomorrow, so there is no reason you can't take them to make you feel better."
A few minutes later Emily came out of the closet wearing a pair of lightweight sweat pants and a black tank top.
"I know Jayje, I just don't like the way they make me feel. They really mess with me and..." she stopped as she looked over at her wife who was watching her intently, "Never mind"
"And what?" The blonde questioned, concern evident in her voice, "Emily?"
The brunette had begun brushing her teeth in the bathroom and JJ sat with her arms crossed as she waited for her wife to finish up. Once Emily stepped out of the bathroom the blonde raised her eyebrows in question.
"It's nothing JJ, I'll take the medicine okay? I see that it's already on my nightstand." the brunette stated as she nodded towards the two pills and glass of water sitting on her nightstand.
The blonde sighed, "Emily I can't help you if you won't talk to me. What do you mean the meds mess with you? Do they make you sick? Because if so we can ask the doctor for something different. Not that you haven't already done that. I just wouldn't know because-"
The blonde looked up at her wife who was looking back at her with sad eyes.
"I'm sorry Jen."
"Me too" the blonde replied sadly
The brunette made her way slowly to her side of the bed and sat down carefully as she stared at the pills sitting on her nightstand. She sighed heavily before biting her lip.
"They gave me nightmares" Emily said quietly
JJ snapped her head in her wife's direction when she whispered.
"In the hospital?" the blonde asked just as quietly.
It was quiet for about a minute before Emily replied, "More so at Rossi's...I mean I did have them in the hospital but I think they were also giving me something to help me sleep because I would try to stay awake all night...I was afraid if I closed my eyes we would all be back in that warehouse."
JJ sighed sadly as she stared at the back of her wife's head, "I wish you would have told me Em."
"I know" the brunette answered even more quietly.
The blonde swallowed nervously before asking the next question, "Em, are you sure it's the meds causing the nightmares?"
JJ saw Emily tense at that question and it took a minute before her wife replied, "I know I have PTSD Jen, I am not a complete idiot-"
"Emily I never said that I just-"
"I know you're concerned JJ, okay, I get it. But I am just as concerned about you and the kids even if you all think I'm not. I thought I was doing what was best for you and I know that I was wrong, but I can't help myself sometimes. So do I know if the nightmares are from the meds specifically? No"
she replied as she turned to look at her wife, tears pooling in her eyes.
"But I do know that they are definitely more prominent when I take the pills."
"I'm sorry Emily. I just don't want you to be in pain and I will be right here beside you all night, so if you have a nightmare I promise I will wake you up."
Brown eyes snapped up to connect with blue, "No, JJ don't wake me up, just knowing you will be laying beside me worries me enough."
"Em-"
"JJ I don't want to hurt you, not like before." she said sadly.
"Emily-"
"No JJ, if I take these pills and I have a nightmare then you have to promise you won't try to wake me up. I don't know how I would react and I refuse to hurt you anymore than I already have. So if you want me to take these you have to make that promise."
"Em-"
"Promise me"
"I can't make that promise."
"Then I'm not taking them."
"Then you can go sleep on the couch."
"Fine"
The brunette pushed herself off of the bed and made her way towards the door before JJ let out a groan.
"Dammit Emily why are you so fucking stubborn?!"
"Please Jennifer don't act like you aren't stubborn." the brunette countered.
"I know I can be, but not when it comes to these situations." the blonde replied as she threw her hands up in annoyance.
Both were quiet for a moment before Emily reached for the bedroom door again.
"Emily please don't go. I don't want you to sleep on the couch. I also don't want you to be in pain all night. I just want...I want you to trust me."
The brunette turned back towards her wife who looked completely defeated, tears pooling now in the blue eyes that she loved so much.
"I do trust you JJ, I just don't want to hurt you."
"I get that Emily, I do, but you have to trust me when I say that no matter what I want what's best for you, even if that means you taking medicine to help your pain and get you to sleep. Even if that means possible nightmares where you may swing at me in your sleep. Through the good and the bad Emily, I'm here for it all."
The brunette sighed in defeat, letting her hand fall from the door.
"Let's compromise" offered JJ, "I promise I won't try to shake you awake from any nightmare, but that doesn't mean I can't try to soothe you awake or through it in another way."
Emily's eyebrows wrinkled together in question. JJ smiled at her wife before continuing.
"I won't physically try to shake you awake but I will still talk soothingly to you or play gentle music to try and bring you out of it. Deal?"
Emily stared at her wife for a moment before nodding, "Deal"
The two women smiled at one another before Emily walked back to her side of the bed, sat down, and then sighed before downing the two pills with the glass of water. She then laid down on her back and pulled the covers over herself.
"Goodnight Jen"
"Night Em" the blonde replied as she placed her book on the nightstand and turned off her lamp.
The blonde snuggled down under the covers, careful not to shift to much towards her wife, knowing she wasn't quite ready for the casual, or gentle, touches without forewarning.
"I love you Emily" she whispered across the bed to her wife.
"I love you too Jayje" the brunette whispered back
A/N: As always reviews are appreciated! Hope everyone has a good week. I think I am going to upload these stories on AO3 also! I'm going to try for the same name, but if not I will share that info when I post the next chapter!