Chapter 5

Lux's POV

"This is a swab, Lux. I'm going to use it to scrape the cells off of your cheek," Nurse Silver explains.

Uh, ew!

She mistakes the disgusted look on my face for fear. "It won't hurt a bit, okay? Please open your mouth," Nurse Silver instructs as she tries to place the cotton swab on my right cheek.

I fight the urge to say "That's what he said" because I know that this isn't a joking matter. And I highly doubt these two would laugh anyway…

"What's the point of this?" I ask while she still has the swab scraping against my cheek. I wonder if either woman even understood my question since it came out weird. She removes the swab from inside of my mouth and looks at me strangely. I ignore her glare and glance back at Stefanie. "If it's going to take this long, it's pointless. My hearing is on Thursday. The results won't come in until Friday," I inform her.

I sit there waiting for her response, but she just stares at me blankly as the woman places the other swab into my mouth. "What are you doing now?" I question, knowing fully well that my tone is full of attitude.

I'm not angry at her, I'm angry at Stefanie for not just signing the paper back at her house. This could have all been avoided in my eyes.

"We like to take two samples just in case," the nurse explains.

And after about ten seconds, she places both swabs into an envelope and walks over to Stefanie to repeat the same process on her.

I am not going to let this hospital or this blonde cop screw this up for me. Screw that. I'll take jail time over another crappy foster-home any day.

With that thought and with a glance of the nurse's back facing me, and Stefanie being otherwise distracted, I slowly stand up and grab my file from her desk. Once I have it in my hands, I quickly but quietly sit back down, spinning around so that I could shove the file into my bag.

I turn again as fast as possible and am relieved that neither of them saw me and the nurse is still taking her samples. Thank God.

"So, are we done here?" I ask abruptly.

The nurse closes both of the envelopes and nods, "Yes, you're done."

"Great," I answer as I grab my bag and begin to walk out.

Stefanie stands up too. "Thanks, Nurse…"

"Silver."

"Right… Well, thank you," she says as if she actually means it. I roll my eyes in annoyance.

This test wasn't my idea.

I'm in a bad mood as it is.

Today wasn't going anything like it should have.

"Can I get both of your numbers so that I can reach you when I get the results?"

"Absolutely," Stefanie replies as she detaches her notepad and pen from her belt and writes down her number. When she hands the pad and pen over to me, I consider giving them a number she could reach me at, but I jot down a random one instead and hand the notepad back over to the cop.

Whatever. Who needs to hear the truth anyway? Some things are just better off not knowing.

We both walk out of her office, and I make sure to get out of the building as fast as I can. The last thing I need right now is for Nurse Silver to realize I stole my file and come after me.

As soon as I'm out of the building, I take off. I have no idea where I'm going but I need to find a bus stop, quick.

"Hey! Lux, wait up!" I turn my head to find Stefanie attempting to catch up to me.

I pick up my pace, keeping my eyes focused straight ahead. I think I see a bus sign half a block away, I realize. But before I know it, Stefanie is right beside me, walking just as fast. "Where are you going? Don't you need a ride back to…"

"I got it, thanks," I inform her. I don't even know why I am mad anymore, but that didn't change the fact that I was angry and wanted to be left alone.

"Don't be ridiculous. I brought you all the way over here, the least I can do is give you a ride back," she offers.

Lady, just give up already, I want to tell her.

"I thought you had to get back to work?" I ask her when I recalled the conversation she had with the secretary. I keep walking, fixing the strap on my bag so that it wouldn't fall off of my shoulder. I don't need it falling and letting all of the evidence come pouring out, especially in front of a cop and regardless of who she is.

"I only said that so the nurse would hurry. I can give you a ride, if you'd like…"

Don't accept any favors.

"I kind of rather take the bus, if you don't mind," I reply as I arrive at the bus stop and begin waiting for the next one to come around.

"I hear ya… But don't you think we should talk before…"

"Are you going to sign the form?" I blurt out.

She coughs nervously, "Um no, I—"

"Then we have nothing to talk about," I respond flatly, as I keep an eye out for a bus and I finally see one driving up the street.

"Do you even know where you are?" she questions me when the bus finally pulls up in front of us.

"No offense, but I haven't had a mom in thirteen years. I don't need one now," I answer before I make my way up the steps of the bus and feel the doors close right behind me.

If they aren't going to sign the forms, I'll do it myself. I already have both of their signatures in my file. If forging them is the only way out of this, then that is exactly what I am going to do.

Stef's POV

I walk in through the front door and I already know I'm in for it. In my defense my phone did die but Lena wouldn't really care about that. I know how worried she gets when I don't answer ever since the shooting.

"Stef! Where the hell have you been? I've been calling and texting you for hours!" Lena stood in front of me with a stern look and her arms crossed. It has been almost 7 hours since I left the house, she has every right to be angry with me.

How am I supposed to tell her this and sound right?

After picking up my car from the station, I spent hours driving around trying to wrap my mind around all of this, but I couldn't. How can I tell her when I don't understand it completely myself?

Regardless, I have to tell her. I lean my arms against the kitchen counter. I close my eyes and lower my head, attempting to gather my thoughts before I speak.

"What's wrong?" she asks. I can see the worry in her eyes as she searches my face for answers when I finally look up at her. All I want to do is throw myself in her arms, but I know that it would just upset her even more to see me upset.

And I was the one in charge of keeping everyone and everything together in this house. I know she wouldn't see it that way but I was. And I couldn't help but feel that I was falling apart completely.

"I'm sorry," I tell her.

"Sorry for what?" she asks.

And I wish I knew the answer.

"For worrying you. I should've called you back or at least answered my phone… I just needed time to think."

Lena sighs deeply, "It's okay... I'm okay. It's fine, babe. I just overreacted because I was so worried." She starts approaching me but I shake my head.

"No, it's not fine," I answer in a voice louder than I intended to. She seems taken aback by it.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she questions and she's finally in front of me.

I stare at her for a long time. And I want so desperately to open my mouth but I don't.

"Stef?"

And before I know it, I've got my arms wrapped around her and I'm sobbing into her shirt. I try with everything in my power to stop, but I can't get that little girl's face out of my mind.

I know this isn't normal.

I shouldn't be acting this way.

But I feel like my entire life has been altered in just a matter of seconds and the thought scares me.

Lena tightens her embrace in response. She knows that I need to be held right now even though I hate to do this to her.

"Mom? Are you okay?" I hear Mariana's voice from behind me.

I immediately release myself from Lena's grasp and try to put on a strong face, wiping away my tears in the process. But I can't help but wonder if she heard my sobs. She must've if she asking how I am. Another person in my own family to see me breakdown was the last thing I needed right now.

"Yep. I'm fine, Sweets." I try to smile at her.

"Are you sure? You don't look fine..."

"Mom's fine." Lena answers for me. "Bad day at work. We just need a second."

"Okay..." Mariana turns to leave the kitchen, unconvinced.

Once she's out of sight, I can't help but feel guilty for allowing her to see me like that.

"Stef, what happened?" Lena asks.

I look at my wife and I can see the concern written all over her face. She still doesn't know and I can tell that she's scared.

I take a few seconds to respond. I'm glad that she gives me the time without rushing me. "Lena… that girl was my daughter," I finally tell her sadly. I tried to sound firm but my emotions disagreed.

She stares at me with a confused look. I know she thinks that I'm crazy, and I don't blame her.

I know the truth.

"I can feel it, Lena…"

"Babe… What are you talking about?" she shakes her head slightly.

I take another deep breath to contain myself. "The baby, the baby I had after Brandon. The one that…"

With Lena's eyes focused on me, I can still see the panic in them as she speaks. "I don't get it, Stef. I thought you…"

"I know. I thought so too, but… my name is on her birth certificate, and so is Mike's. The staff at the hospital thinks there was a mix-up and my doctor gave her to another couple on purpose. She wasn't… She was alive. That little girl was my daughter... I can feel it, Lena. I can't explain it, but I just know that she's my baby."

Lena grabs hold of my arm quickly and pulls me closer toward her body when my voice starts to give out again. I hug her back. "…I don't know what to do, Lena. How am I supposed to fix this?"

"We'll figure all of this out together, okay? You're not alone" she comforts me as she tightens her grip.

"She hates me… She doesn't want anything to do with me." I inform her as I loosen myself from her embrace so that I can look into her eyes.

"She doesn't hate you," Lena answers as she places her hand onto my cheek and strokes it with her thumb.

I nod even though I don't believe her and change the subject. "Well she's trying to get emancipated. That's why she came… to get my signature…"

"Emancipated?" she repeats, shock and confusion in her tone.

"Yeah. Can you believe it?"

"She must be only…what? Fifteen?"

"Thirteen." I correct. "She'll be fourteen in two days… God! And she's been in foster care all of this time..." I shake my head as I think of all the possibilities.

"What happened to the couple who took her home?" Lena asks in a baffled voice.

"I don't know, Lena, but I intend to find out." I look over at my wife, and I can't help but wonder how lucky I am to have such an understanding woman. "Are you're sure about this?" I ask her again, as if she'd change her mind.

"As sure as I'll ever be."