Astoria skipped alongside Daphne, who was looking proud and important with her shoulders thrown back and her eyes sparkling with badly concealed excitement.
It wasn't the first time Astoria had been to Diagon Alley, nor was it even the first time she'd been there to collect Hogwarts supplies, but it was the first time she'd been there to collect her own Hogwarts supplies. Hers. Not her cousins', not Daphne's, no- She was finally going to Hogwarts.
The girl flung an excited look at the cart trundling before her, with a stack of her brand-spanking-new books with their smooth leather covers and buckled straps, the golden cauldron (because she was a Greengrass, and they settled for nothing less; or at least, that's what Daphne told her when she pulled it off the shelf) in which she'd dumped much of her packaged Potions ingredients, and atop the precariously stacked pile of books sat a wire cage. In it, a handsome barn owl swung a cynical tawny gaze around the bustling streets, hooting disapprovingly from time-to-time. He was her favorite thing that she'd bought so far, and she'd decided to call him Apollo for the lustrous golden wing feathers he kept meticulously neat.
"Where to next?" she inquired of her sister eagerly, barely resisting the urge to bounce at her side, and Daphne consulted the list.
"Your wand and your robes," she answered, then added thoughtfully, "I think we should do your wand last. That can take forever, honestly..." Grumbling, she stowed the slip of paper in her pocket and tugged on Astoria's sleeve to lead her around a corner, letting a giggle loose as they nearly slipped in a puddle of greasy rainwater.
Whenever they came here, Astoria couldn't help but gaze with unveiled fascination at the shenanigans that often went down on these cobbled streets. There had been a hippogriff with his handler, shifty con-artists in every corner that her mother or sister had dragged her away from time and time again (they had fantastic stories to tell!), and once, Astoria was sure she'd seen a werewolf in a pub. Of course, she'd wandered off to go see that particular building, because she was quite curious as to why she was forbidden to go there. She was eleven years old, for goodness sake, not two. She was sure she'd be able to handle it, and was thoroughly convinced her parents were being overprotective, as usual. The gaunt woman in the corner with her ragged clothes certainly looked like the image of a werewolf her imagination had conjured.
"Here we are!" Daphne announced brightly, pulling Astoria out of her thoughts, and she looked up at the merry sign swinging over the door. A smile spread across her face, because she was quite fond of Madam Malkin and was fairly sure the seamstress felt the same way for her.
Daphne parked the cart, mounted the steps, and pushed open the doors. Astoria obediently followed her, though she glanced at the cart and interjected, "Wait, won't that get stolen?"
Daphne rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Tori, we're Greengrasses. Who would dare?"
She shrugged. "I saw a lot of shifty people out there. I don't think it'd be very practical to just leave it-"
"Oh, you worry too much, little goose. Come on!" Daphne pulled her inside, and Astoria shrugged with resignation, but after a moment's thought, she ran back out, Daphne's confused cry echoing behind her.
She lifted Apollo's cage off the cart with care, tucked him securely under her arm, and slipped back inside.
"The rest of that stuff is replaceable," she explained at her sister's questioning look and then added with a grin, "Besides, Madam Malkin loves me. I'm sure she'll be fine with it."
Daphne's expression cleared and she laughed. "Spoken like a true Slytherin!"
Astoria smiled too, feeling a flare of pride, and looked around the little shop. Her smile widened as the familiar, accented voice of Madam Malkin called from behind a shelf full of pretty fabrics, "I'll be with you in a moment, dears!"
Apollo hooted boredly, and she absentmindedly poked a finger through the thin bars to stroke his soft feathers.
"I wonder how he'll get along with Talia," said Daphne, referring to her tuxedo cat, and Astoria giggled at the thought.
"I hope he doesn't try to eat her."
"More like she'd try to eat him!"
This sparked a mini-debate, which Astoria was sure she was winning, but before she could deliver the crushing blow, Madam Malkin bustled out from the labyrinth of shelves. She smiled widely at the Greengrass sisters, and Astoria grinned back.
"Ah, my two little lovelies," she cooed. "Astoria, darling, you're starting your first year of Hogwarts, aren't you?"
"Yes!" she answered eagerly, setting Apollo's cage down on the chair and bouncing towards her, before remembering that she was supposed to be more dignified. Her mother had begun coming down a little harder than she usually did, reminding her that she had the pureblood pride to uphold. So instead she straightened her steps, trying to mimic Daphne's flowing walk.
It might have been her imagination, but she thought Madam Malkin's coin-bright smile faded a little bit as she watched Astoria reorient her walk, but she stashed it in the back of her mind as the older woman set a warm hand on her back and steered her further into the walls of cloth. "Come along, dear, I'm sure we'll find something lovely for you."
"Thanks," Astoria answered warmly. Out of the periphery, she noticed Daphne sauntering down another aisle, her intent expression telling her that she intended to browse while she got outfitted.
The next fifteen minutes or so were spent inspecting a slew of black robes (because Astoria had opted for simplicity, even though her status would probably have let her sneak by with colored robes if she wanted; that's what Daphne did), and once she settled on several pairs, Madam Malkin began tailoring them to fit her straight frame. Astoria bit her lip with a faint touch of embarrassment as she had to take it in in several areas, and she found herself thinking of the curves Daphne was already gaining at the young age of thirteen.
Oh well. Curves were overrated.
Just as Astoria finished that thought with a snort of amusement, the door swung open with a bang, accompanied by the indignant squawk of Apollo. Concern sailed through her like a moon-brightened knife and she slipped off the stool, throwing a quick smile at the plump seamstress, and gathered excess material in her fists so she could swiftly make her way to the front without tripping. First, her eyes flew to Apollo to make sure that he was unharmed, and once she was satisfied his squawk was only because he'd been startled, she looked to the trio of bored-looking boys who had entered the store.
"Draco Malfoy," she said, surprised, and the pale boy's cold eyes swung over her, barely interested. It didn't really surprise her- she'd been to his house before, because his family was part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight too, but somehow, she just hadn't expected to run into him here. This place was filled with the warmth Madam Malkin exuded, and Draco Malfoy was a block of ice.
"Oh, hello, Draco," said Daphne, who had appeared at the end, and when Astoria looked at her, her chin was up and her face was composed. Gone was the laughing sister she knew as a child and nowadays, only unveiled herself when it was just the two of them. She understood it though. They were purebloods. They had a reputation to uphold.
Which reminded her...
Astoria straightened demurely and nodded politely at Malfoy's companions, two hulking boys who she knew by sight alone.
His pale eyes flew over her from head-to-toe and his lip curled slightly, though she couldn't imagine why.
"Aren't you a little young to be here without Mommy Greengrass?" he queried indulgently, and Astoria's eyes sank from his at the derision riding his tone, instead settling on a patch of dust on the floor. She didn't say anything, instead twisting the interior fabric of her pockets, and wishing she was brave enough and clever enough to snap something witty back at him.
o-0-o
Astoria stared at the stool on which some boy named Josh Garner sat, a drooping, raggedy hat settled on his amber curls. She swallowed hard. She was definitely feeling a bit sick now, her stomach churning like one of her mother's beauty potions.
A particularly large rip opened in the side of the Hat and it announced in a boisterous roar that was echoed by an eruption of applause, "HUFFLEPUFF."
The boy smiled weakly as yellow-clad table erupted into cheers, even a few hats thrown into the air in celebration as the new student joined their golden ranks. Astoria worried her lip, guiltily hoping her own reception would be as warm at the Slytherin table. She knew it wasn't going to happen though, because if they were anything like the Slytherins she'd met, they'd be aloof and cold.
Oh well. Friendliness was overrated too. Besides, Daphne was there.
Though she knew her name was about to be called, her stomach still dropped to her feet as she watched the stern, bespectacled witch with her graying hair pinned back into a bun look back down at the scroll and call, "Greengrass, Astoria!"
Hardening her resolve, Astoria walked forward with her shoulders so straight they ached, vividly aware of too many eyes boring into her back. She sat down on the stool, her eyes finding Daphne's, and her sister shot her a secret grin that was meant only for her. Even as Astoria returned it, hoping her nerves weren't showing, her eyes shifted along the table to another Slytherin whose eyes were stabbing into hers like a needle into a pincushion.
The platinum-gold hair was unmistakable, as was the faint sneer lingering around his face. The disdain made Astoria shrink back and her toes curl, which she instantly detested herself for. She shouldn't fear him. He was only a boy. Only an arrogant, ignorant boy who knew nothing of her and who she was.
The Hat slid over her eyes.
"Ah," said a familiar voice in her ear, and she realized a moment later that it was the same the Hat had used to belt out the lyrics of the new Sorting song, though now much quieter, for which she was grateful. "I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Miss Greengrass."
A tingle prickled down her spine, but a moment later, she realized that the Hat must have plucked her from Daphne's memories during her own Sorting.
"Quick, aren't you?"
Moistening her lips, Astoria was suddenly struck with the absurdity of what the rest of the student body must be seeing- a girl with a dirty hat on her head, and then her tongue creeping out to lick her lips from underneath the brim. Weird.
You tell me, she answered after a moment, wondering if it would even work. Technically, it should, seeing as the Hat was supposed to be able to see everything in her head. She supposed that meant it could also see that time she'd cut Daphne's favorite dress to shreds because they'd had a terrific argument and when she'd sneaked away from a fancy party and left a would-be suitor (though she wasn't supposed to have heard that, but closed doors only muffled so much) behind to settle in the indent of a tree root with a thick, well-loved book of fairy tales.
She grimaced, but she didn't really regret that last one, though she knew her parents would have wanted her to. He'd been a pompous prat and not at all fun. He didn't even know how to play Gobstones! She'd like to know what self-respecting witch would have spent any more time with such riffraff.
"I see plenty of wisdom and compassion- oh yes, but that's rather complicated by this wad of self-preservation, hmm? A strong mind, a quick mind, but you want to be a follower. I wonder why."
That made her frown, a spark of defiance flaring to life. I'm no follower! Besides, don't you know why? You're the one in my head!
"I don't know because you don't," answered the Hat, and if a hat could laugh, this one sounded like it might.
She frowned, not understanding and getting a little impatient. She didn't remember the Sortings before her taking this long. Could you- Do you mind just Sorting me please?
"Very well. Better be..." The Hat was silent for a moment, mulling it over, and Astoria relaxed with the thought that she would soon join the Slytherin ranks like generations of Greengrasses before her.
"RAVENCLAW!"
The call bounced back at her off the walls, hideously loud.
Astoria's body went rigid.
No. No way.
Horror flooded over her like a river of nightmares, suffocating and dark and cold.
Wait- You've made a mistake. I'm supposed to go to Slytherin! she thought frantically, despite knowing in her bones that a Sorting couldn't be reversed. Why, oh why had she sassed the Hat?
Before she could further demand an answer, the Hat was being lifted off her head, and Astoria couldn't move from the stool, like someone had glued her there. She stared dumbly at the table beside the Slytherin one, and though a few people there looked as shocked as she did (probably those who knew of her family's reputation), the rest were cheering. Some were bouncing happily in their seats, others demurely clapping, and still others couldn't be bothered to pull their eyes from the books they'd sneaked under the table.
Slowly, very slowly, Astoria unfurled from her seat and walked towards them.
She met Daphne's eyes. She didn't know how to tell her that it wasn't her fault, that she didn't mean to- That this wasn't- That she hadn't- She was Slytherin!
It had never occurred to her that she might be anything else. Sure, sometimes she had to bite her tongue to keep from telling her parents what she really thought. Sure, sometimes she didn't always enjoy the parties they threw or didn't quite know how to uphold the family name when Daphne did it so easily or she mistook when she was supposed to speak. Sometimes it tired her, trying to remember it all, trying to balance the pressure of being a Greengrass and just being herself. But she was Slytherin. She'd been born and bred Slytherin. She was as- as ambitious and shrewd and cunning as any Slytherin. More than some! She knew she was! Everyone she'd ever known had told her she'd be a perfect fit for the Slytherin House! And how could she not? It lurked in the recesses of her mind, woven irreversibly in her DNA. In the flow of her blood, in the very air she inhaled, she was Slytherin.
And yet, here she was. Standing in front of a table occupied by students with blue-striped scarfs thrown around their necks, the mighty eagle rippling on the tapestry uniting every person at this table. Except her. Not her, never her, she didn't belong here!
It made her feel small, but not as small as she knew she would feel when she stood in front of her parents and told them that- that... That she was not Slytherin. That she had apparently never been Slytherin.
Her sister looked shell-shocked, like someone had just told her that her home had blown up. Like the sky was falling. Like someone dear had just turned traitor.
Astoria dropped into a chair at the Ravenclaw table, and as the cheers died away, Daphne couldn't seem to tear her eyes from the dark-haired girl for whom she had saved a seat beside her. She stared back, pleading without making a sound.
Then Daphne turned her back, and it hurt. Hurt more than the time Daphne had screamed at her or when she'd tattled on her to Father. Hurt more than when Father forgot her birthday or when her Mother told she was expected to marry a man she picked out for her when she got big enough. That had been the kind of pain she'd dammed up or gotten over or just been a simple case of a family being annoying, but this... This felt like she was being abandoned because she'd slipped, because all along she'd been a raven in a den of snakes, and she didn't know how she'd tipped the balance. She knew what she'd done wrong, but she didn't know how she'd done it.
She looked down at her clasped hands, furiously blinking back tears.
"Chin up, Greengrass," said a voice, and Astoria looked up through tears that, against her will, spilled down her cheeks. A young boy several years older than her was smiling down at her kindly, his curly black hair almost bluish in the dim lights of the floating candles, and her eyes dropped to the P-embossed badge pinned to his chest.
She sniffed slightly, plucking a napkin to clear her nose and swipe the tears from her cheeks. The stranger was right. She was a Greengrass, even if she was a Ravenclaw as well. She had to pick her head up, to make them believe that she was still as proud a member of the Greengrass family as she had ever been.
The duty had never seemed so daunting, nor so very much like a task.
"There are worse things to be, you know," he told her, and she watched as he scooped up several roasted potatoes with a spoon and plopped them on her plate. "I hope you like potatoes? You won't find any better than here. Oo, look, chicken. And peas!"
Astoria couldn't stand the thought of eating, but she didn't see a point in not eating. She had to eat. She knew that. She needed to eat so she could gain strength and then figure this out, so she nodded silently as he piled food on her plate.
The prefect chatted easily about the various kinds of foods, about the teachers, about how she'd love the castle, about the best stories from last year, about what Quidditch player had messed up which move, and various other harmless, friendly tidbits. At first, Astoria couldn't stand to listen and just wished he'd go away, but gradually, she began to listen. This Ravenclaw wasn't so bad, and neither were his stories.
"What's your name?" she asked softly, as he finished telling her what food the Hogwarts House-Elves were especially known for (potatoes being the top of that list).
"I'm Adam Puckle. Nice to meet you. You'll like Ravenclaw," he reassured her, smiling at the newest Ravenclaw first-year who plopped exhaustedly into the seat beside Astoria and began dragging every plate of food towards her that she could reach. "Well, assuming you like a lot of grumps and shelves full of books and lots of unresolved debates."
She cracked a weak smile. "Is that really what Ravenclaws are like?"
Adam shrugged and swallowed his mouthful of peas, his blue eyes watering at the scorching heat of the food, but his tone still managed to sound nonchalant, "Eh, pretty much."
"Good," said the girl on Astoria's other side, shoveling so much food into her mouth that her words were barely discernible. Astoria wrinkled her nose in disgust, but the girl went on, unhindered. "I'll need lots of intellectuals to challenge me."
Astoria found herself smiling at the stranger, despite her...odd, eating habits. "Oh, yeah? What's your name?"
She swallowed with difficulty and inclined her head pompously in Astoria's direction. "I'm Linda Trillisi. You're Astoria Greengrass, aren't you? I've heard of your sister, and I remember you because you were as white as a...cloud, up there."
A stab of renewed guilt ripped through her, but she firmly ignored it. She'd deal with it tomorrow, when she had time to think. She blinked a moment later, her mind snagging on the last simile instead of dwelling on the embarrassment that accompanied that incident. "White as a cloud? Not as a sheet?"
Linda shrugged. "I don't like cliches."
Adam laughed, and Astoria felt a smile curl her lips upward, even though she shouldn't be enjoying herself. She was supposed to be thinking up ways to get into the Slytherin house, after all.
She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes seeking out Daphne, but instead they latched onto Draco's greyish-blue ones. Borrowing bravery for a few moments, Astoria frowned at him. Why do you keep staring at me?
With a faint, careless smirk, he lifted his fingers, hooking his thumbs together and pumping his fingers up and down, reminding Astoria of a bird in flight. She raised her eyes to his cruel, mocking expression, and that rankled. Who was he to judge her? Sure, he was the son of the Malfoy family, but he wasn't part of her family.
And just like that, she was feeling reckless and daring. She'd already done the worst that she could do, so who cared if she gave Malfoy a piece of her mind before the dark waters closed over her head?
So before she could overthink it, Astoria stuck her tongue out at him.
Then she turned resolutely back to the table, straightening her spine with the decision to act like being placed in Ravenclaw had not rattled her at all, only to find Linda swapping a curious look between her and the pale Slytherin boy.
She shrugged and stabbed a piece of chicken. "He was making fun of me."
Linda snorted. "Beat him in the next test, then."
Astoria spent the rest of dinner talking with Linda, who turned out to be very smart, and Adam, who reminded her of a puppy. He seemed like the type of person who'd hate to have anyone mad at him, and the kind to think quietly when others thought he'd been daydreaming out the window. Punctuated through the dinner came stabs of guilt for genuinely liking these people, and the knowledge that she should be with her sister sat heavily on her chest. But with the knowledge that Malfoy was watching her came the suspicion that others probably were too, sharks watching for weakness, and that hardened her resolve to show none.
She knew Daphne would forgive her, though. She always had, and Astoria had always forgiven her in kind. Sometimes it took weeks, but she would. She knew she would.
As the hours wore on and Astoria's eyelids drooped, the food in her belly a warm and comforting weight, she allowed herself to let go of the worries of tomorrow.
Then Dumbledore stood and announced that they should go back to their common rooms, and Astoria's eyes latched distractedly in the silvery gleam of his beard. Huh. Pretty.
"Come on," said Adam, rising and nodding towards the doors. "It's pretty far, and we should get there before you guys get too sleepy to remember the way."
o-0-o
Astoria had walked up dizzying flights of stairs, passed portraits that murmured to themselves and sassed the students, and crossed stairwells that moved. The excitement of the castle chased away her sleepiness for the moment. She'd watched silvery-white ghosts pop in and out of the walls, she'd cocked an eyebrow at the cackling Peeves as he zoomed past her fellow first-years, and she'd watched with awe as Adam led the herd of first-years through the twisting labyrinth with ease.
That was when Astoria decided that she was going to learn the ins and outs of the castle just as well. She wanted to know how to tame this- this majestic creature that was Hogwarts.
And her first expedition would be to locate the Slytherin common room. Then she'd make Daphne talk to her.
Astoria came to a halt, Linda nearly bumping into her back, and she rolled her eyes at her. The other girl made a face back, and together, they looked up at the stretch of pale, aged wood with honey-colored circles spreading out from knots like ripples in a pond. In the center was a bronze knocker, fashioned to the shape of a bird in flight, and Astoria watched with interest as its beak opened and a musical, feminine voice emerged, "I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I?"
The eagle was met with silence and Astoria shifted, wondering what she was supposed to do. She knew what the Slytherin common room looked like, both the exterior and interior, from stories Daphne and...basically everyone she knew, had told her. This was new territory. But... Ravenclaws were known for their cleverness and- and value of knowledge, so Astoria supposed it must be waiting for an answer to the question. It was a riddle.
"Is it Yoda?" Linda piped up from beside her and Astoria looked at her incredulously, wondering what on earth a 'Yoda' was, and opened her mouth to ask. She was interrupted by the eagle clicking its beak three times, before it repeated the riddle.
Adam raised an eyebrow and said, "Anyone have a guess?"
Astoria nibbled on her lip, brow furrowed in thought. She wanted to solve it, not just because excelling at things- even in the place where she wasn't supposed to be- would surely be what her parents wanted her to do, but also because she liked riddles. She liked puzzles. She liked the surge of pride she felt for herself when she solved it, all on her own.
Several guesses flew around from the more outspoken first-years, like a campfire, a giraffe (she wasn't sure where they were going with that one), a tree being cut down, and others. She thought about everything she'd seen this fateful day. About the winding train like a crimson snake, the food trolley piled high with sweets, the ragged Sorting Hat's shouts echoing throughout the hall, the Great Hall full of flame-topped candles, the way the light illuminated her sister's shocked face- Then it came to her in a flash.
"A candle!" she blurted enthusiastically before she could remember that Slytherin ladies did not 'blurt' anything, and to her delight, the eagle said, "Excellent."
Then the wood panel slid past, revealing an airy room with bookshelves tailored to fit the circular shape of the common room. The azure carpet was so thick it looked like grass, the arched windows hung with blue and bronze silks let star-sprinkled light in to permeate the tower, and in the niche facing the cluster of wide-eyed first-years was a marble statue of a young woman.
Adam led the way inside and Astoria followed at once, wanting to investigate this new place. Linda crowded closely behind her, along with a number of other first-years.
Linda made a beeline for the bookshelves full of bound tomes and her other classmates examined the chairs and tables scattered uniformly throughout the room, but Astoria approached the statue of white stone, looking up into the beautiful face of who could only be Rowena Ravenclaw. The artist had captured the teasing half-smile on her lips, and had even sculpted a diadem on her smooth brow as well as a slender wand pointing at an angle towards the floor. Her expression was that of a sleepy snake.
Minuscule words were etched on Ravenclaw's diadem, not unlike fairy writing, and Astoria glanced over her shoulder to make sure Adam was otherwise occupied before clambering up on the plinth and leaning up on tiptoe to squint at them.
'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.'
Astoria tilted her head slightly, unsure of what to think of that. Being smart was good, but being loyal was better. Being loyal to her parents, to her bloodline, to her legacy... It was the most important thing of all.
But as she looked at those tiny words, she couldn't help but think she'd failed that when the Hat put her here. Worse, she couldn't help but think she had failed when she realized she liked it here. She liked the way the riddle made her think, and she liked the wide view of the mountains the common room provided. She liked the way the ceiling was painted dark blue with little shimmering stars like blue ink dotted with salt, and she liked the bookshelves with their seemingly neverending supply of books. She liked Adam Puckle. She liked Linda Trillisi. She liked Rowena Ravenclaw's statue mounted on her dais, and she liked how her expression prodded her to dig up as many answers as she could coupled with the teasing promise that she'd never collect all there was to know.
"Astoria, what are you doing?"
The words weren't loud or particularly admonishing. Just a gentle, firm kind of rebuke and she looked up, nevertheless startled, and then hopped off the statue with an apologetic glance cast Adam's way. "Right. Sorry. Just wanted to read the inscription."
Adam's face softened and he nodded, then indicated the two doors on either side of Ravenclaw's statue. "Right dorm is boys, left is for girls. You lot ought to go there now. Go on." He nodded at them, herding the others from all edges of the common room, and Linda climbed the stairs beside her. Astoria looked over at her and smiled a little, and Linda smiled back, the kind of humbling gratitude reflected in both girls' eyes, both the black and the brown. Whatever happened to them tomorrow when everything began, they would not do it alone.