Lena's POV
Lux sat in the armchair while I tried my best to apply a fitted sheet around the couch cushions to make it seem as comfortable as possible. I wanted her to feel at home here, but I could tell that this was probably the last place she wanted to be at the moment, because every few seconds I'd catch a quick glimpse of her and notice, that she had been staring in the direction of the front door the entire time. The first though that ran through my mind was that Lux looked as if she might actually be thinking about leaving.
I couldn't blame her for wanting to, after the conversation we all just had in the kitchen. But at the same time, I did have some concerns regarding her past behavior that Stef seemed too quickly to dismiss, which did bother me. Stef could've pushed her for more answers rather than the one that she allowed Lux to get away with, which didn't tell us practically anything. Yes, she admitted to doing it, but someone doesn't do something like that to a house they have lived in for years without some serious explanation or sign of repentance. Callie had mentioned to me that Lux lived with the Gilberts for two years before she decided to take part in that little stunt with her friends.
Lux hadn't spent one night here, so what's to stop her from doing something like that again? To this house?
But I knew that Stef would be devastated, if Lux just got up and left during the night, so I attempted to make her feel more at home, "How many pillows would you like?" I ask her softly, but surprisingly she didn't even bother to glance in my direction. "Lux?" I ask again to catch her attention.
"Huh?" she says as she finally looked up toward me.
I smile, "Are you okay with one pillow or two?"
She looks at me as if I had just spoken another language. "It doesn't matter," she answers nonchalantly.
"Okay, I'll leave them both and you can decide."
She nods her head. "Great," she answers flatly.
We share an awkward moment of silence and I can't help but wonder why Stef wasn't here to help me with this conversation. That's when I realized that Mike had probably never mentioned going to work and she was most likely filling him in on the situation at the moment. I glance back at the sofa and realize that there wasn't really anything else I could do to make it more comfortable, "Well, I hope the couch is comfortable enough for tonight…"
"Yep… It's fine, thank you."
I took a deep breath before I decided to continue, "You know… I want you to know that Callie and I weren't trying to gang up on you or anything of that nature so, I'm sorry if it felt like that. Stef and I just always feel like it's important to get everything out in the open, so that there are no surprises later. And now that this situation has been dealt with, maybe you and Callie can start getting along?" I ask almost as a plea. I needed for Callie to feel completely secure in this home and I felt that she was until Lux showed up. "…You're a part of this family now and we all need to try to move passed everything that's happened in the past, right? We're not going to blame you at all for the things you have done years ago, and you don't have to tell us why if you don't want to. That was then…and this is now. Right?"
There's a sudden moment of silence before she actually speaks, "…And what exactly is now?"
Her question takes me by surprise, partly because I was just expecting an 'Okay' from her. "What do you mean?" I ask her in the calmest way possible.
"Nothing. Just… Never mind. Forget I said anything," she answers almost emotionless as she walks over and takes a seat on the couch that I had just made and begins adjusting the pillows.
"No, what were you going to say," I try to push her for an answer, just as an effort to keep her talking. I had barely heard her say anything other than answering Jesus' obnoxious questions at the dinner table, which had absolutely nothing to do with Lux herself. So I was curious to see what she meant by her question.
"You say 'That was then, this is now,' but isn't Now just the same thing as then. Doesn't what happen in the past just reflect the person you are now? And if it doesn't, then what's to say that now is any better than then? You act as if what happened in the past doesn't matter, so then why chose to address it in the present if it's irrelevant?"
"I don't follow," I say in all honesty. What was this girl getting at?
"You tell me that what I did at the Gilberts' doesn't change your perception of me. But in reality, it does, right? Otherwise you wouldn't choose to confront me about it now…"
I pause before I answer as I try to gather my thoughts and not make things any worse, "…I felt that both, you and Callie, needed to confront each other about what happened, so that you two could move on from it. From my experience, it's always better to understand the entire picture, so that there aren't any surprises later. The situation needed to be addressed, Lux."
"Yeah, well, from my experience, sometimes it's actually better to leave the past alone, especially if the people trying to dig through it have no idea what they're digging for."
Lux's POV
I hadn't meant to say what I just said, but the fact that everyone was making me feel like some sort of monster for destroying the outside of Trey's house was getting beyond irritating to me.
Yes, I spray painted his house.
Yes, I got Callie and Jude kicked out.
But no, I didn't regret it.
I needed to push Valerie's buttons enough so that she would send me away. Telling her the truth about what Trey tried to do to me wasn't enough for her to let me go. After I had gotten out of the hospital, she still allowed me to come back into her home, even after she called me a liar to my face and took his side.
FLASHBACK
Valerie pulls up into the driveway and glances in my direction, lifting my jaw up with her hand so that I could look into her eyes. "Look, I would really like this to work, Lux. Trey and I love you like you are our own daughter, so I' going to need you to stop with the lying. We want to keep you here with us, and we can't continue living like this if you don't try to help us make this work. We don't want to give up on you and we're not, so long as you promise to never accuse him of something like that again. You're going to have to learn to listen to him, okay? He is your father and he's willing to give you once last chance. If you love me and you want to make this work so that we can all be together as a family, you have to first start off with an apology, okay?"
"I'm sorry," I say as I let the tears flow down my eyes and try to take in her words. I did want to be with her and I wanted a family. But I knew that I would have to suffer some, in order to make that happen. But it would be worth it, right? I'd finally have her love back, and that'd be worth more than any pain that Trey would put me through. And who knows? Maybe after all of this, Trey wouldn't try that again…
"Thank you, Lux. I do appreciate that, but the person you need to apologize to is Trey." I cry even more when I realize what she really wants me to do, but she convinces herself that I'm just afraid to apologize. "I'll be right there with you, Lux. You don't have to do it alone."
I take a deep breath before wiping away my tears and getting out of the car. I take one look at the house and for once I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. I felt like I was standing somewhere else watching myself walk in, which helped me in a sense.
It wasn't me going into Trey's house, so it wasn't me that was risking getting hurt. I glance around the living room, and I can't help but wonder why for some reason the one place that I felt safe in, suddenly became the one place that I feared the most.
Trey greets me from the couch in the living room, "Welcome back Lux," he says casually as he stares back at the television screen and takes a swig of his beer.
I sit down on the couch across from him and notice the other girl and her brother who were sitting on the same couch as Trey.
"Callie, Jude, can you two go set the table for dinner, please?" Valerie asks politely.
"Sure. Come on, Jude," Callie says as she gets up and walks out of the living room.
"Trey, Lux has something to tell you," Valerie says as she lowers the volume on the television.
"What's up, Lux?" Trey asks as he stares at me with sudden interest. I knew that he would enjoy this, which just made the words that much harder to get out.
"I'm sorry about what I did. I shouldn't have lost my temper and thrown the lamp at you. And I shouldn't have accused you of anything. I was stupid and I promise it won't happen again."
The gleam in his eyes and the smirk on his face sickens me but I do my best to bite my tongue. The worst part is over, right? He got what he wanted.
"It was stupid," he agrees. "Next time, just do exactly as I say and no one has to get hurt. No apologies have to be given and definitely no hospital visits," he laughs as he stares at Valerie and Valerie smiles back at him.
She places her hands over both of my shoulders from behind, "You see? That wasn't so hard, now, was it?" she asks me, and I try to fake a smile for her, but mainly for myself.
END OF FLASHBACK
"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean it," I tell Lena after I realize that what I said had been rude.
"That's okay," Lena says as she starts to get up.
That was when Stef walked into the living room with a pile of clothes, "Here are some clothes for you to sleep in. There's a towel in the bathroom for you to shower. And it's getting pretty late, so I would head there now while there's still some hot water left," she smiles as she hands the clothes over to me.
"Okay," I answer, as I take the clothes and make my way over to the bathroom. As soon as I'm in there, I start to turn the knob of the bathtub all the way on hot.
I let the water from the faucet run through my fingers, completely aware of the pain that it was causing and was strangely relieved by it. Any type of pain was better than the memories of Valerie and Trey that were involuntarily filling my mind up until this moment.
Seconds later, I hear someone knock on the bathroom door, taking me out of the trance that I was in. I immediately shut off the water and open the door to find Jude standing outside of it.
"Hey. I'm sorry. I just really needed to use the bathroom," he says politely.
I nod and walk out. "Sure, I hadn't actually gotten in the shower yet, so knock yourself out," I answer.
"Thanks," he replies as he closes the door behind him, but I could tell that he probably had a problem with me too.
A few seconds later I hear my name coming from one of the bedroom doors, so out of curiosity, I slowly walk over toward it until the voices become clearer.
"What did you want me to do, Lena? Interrogate her on her very first night here?"
"Maybe?"
"Oh, come on. Why does what she did two years ago even matter now?"
"Because our daughter and our son are probably living in fear, thinking that they're going to be kicked out at any second. But all of a sudden that's not important to you…is it?"
"Oh please…"
"No, Stef. You can't just let her get away with those types of excuses."
"What kind of excuses? She admitted the truth, Lena. What more did you want from her?"
"She admitted the truth because she was backed into a corner, Stef. But she barely said anything at all after that. If you let her get away with not talking, she's never going to open up to any of us."
"And what? You think she's going to open up to us, if we question everything she's ever done?"
"It's a start."
"So, wait a minute… Let me get this straight… It's okay to bring up Lux's past and throw it back in her face, but it's not okay to do the same for any of our other kids?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying."
"Oh really? Because that's what it sounds like. Kids do stupid things all the time. I just don't understand how you, of all people, would blame Lux for this… But when it came to Callie destroying her last foster-dad's car that was okay. We didn't need to discuss that any further, did we?"
"That's completely different."
"How?"
"Because Callie is our daughter!"
Stef breathes in heavily.
"Stef, that's not what I meant," Lena tries to retract her statement.
"I know exactly what you meant, Lena…. But Lux is my kid, whether you like it or not and I won't have her belittled in this house. And, yes. That's exactly what you're doing."
When Jude opens the bathroom door, he stares at me and notices that I've been listening in on them but doesn't say anything about it, "Um…the bathroom's all yours."
I nod and walk back in, "Thanks."
I immediately turn the shower knob all the way and throw on my shoes. A few seconds later, I finally open the door again, silently hoping that no one is in the hallway anymore.
Luckily, it's empty. So I close the bathroom door behind me and tiptoe down the hallway and down the stairs, staring in all different directions before I open the front door.
There was no way in hell that I was going to stay anywhere that I wasn't wanted, least of all in a place where I was going to be treated like a criminal. I grab my jacket from the coat hanger before I make my way out and into the darkness...