Slowly. Slowly. Slower. Even Slower now. She didn't want to startle him. Her hands inched closer, creeping by the smallest increments known to mankind. She was almost there. Nearly there. Just a tad…some more…maybe any second now…

"Pearl, I think she froze." Amethyst interrupted, blowing her hair out of her eyes.

"Shh!" Pearl hissed. "She'll take as much time as she needs!"

"Well if we do it your way Steven will have starved." Amethyst pointed out.

Garnet felt a blush rise on her cheeks and she tried to make her hands move faster. It was just too…frightening though. Steven, just barely one month old, was so very little. Everything about him was little. His fingers, his toes, his elbows, his nose, and his minuscule torso. Garnet could see every single breath his tiny, lungs took and every delicate muscle clench and relax as Steven wiggled. What if she broke him? Could she break him just by touching him?

Garnet shuddered at the very thought. Future vision wasn't much help either. Of course there were horrible scenarios that could happen-though their likelihood of occurring were incredibly low…but they still might happen. Garnet's hands shuddered. Maybe she just wasn't ready yet. Pearl said that good things took time. Amethyst might kid around, but it wasn't as though she could hold Steven any better than Garnet.

"I-I maybe we can-t-try tomorrow." Garnet stuttered, retracting her hands and firmly crossing them against her chest.

"That's fine Garnet." Pearl said, placing a hand on the fusions trembling shoulder. "We're not going to rush you."

Garnet nodded silently, her gaze still on Steven. He was looking at her. His eyes dark and curious. He blinked owlishly at her before Pearl picked him up.

"Time for your bottle, Steven." Pearl sang, walking from the balcony down to the kitchen. Garnet envied how easily she walked with him. Steven comfortably sat in Pearl's arm, his fuzzy head nestled into her arm.

Garnet stepped down from the balcony, walking slowly back to the temple. Usually she would stay and watch Steven eat. It always fascinated her how much someone so small could eat. But today she just couldn't do it. She needed to calm down, she could feel a headache forming behind all three of her eyes.

She could begin to hear, quietly the inner voices of Sapphire and Ruby beginning to bicker.

'Why can't we just pick him up?' Ruby shouted.

'He's still so little though.' Sapphire sighed.

This wasn't the first time that she had become so frayed about that little boy. He had been unnerving her since the moment he had come onto this planet. So small and pink, his little cries shrill with every breath he took. She had been the only one to visit him. Pearl had been crazed, nearly out of her mind with grief. Amethyst hadn't wanted to see Steven or Greg or anyone really.

Garnet hadn't really wanted to see Steven or Greg either. She had been so exhausted. Going on missions, searching for Amethyst, checking up on Pearl and then visiting Steven. But it had been worth it. Steven was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on. Greg was so happy to see her that sometimes he cried.

They all needed her to be strong. Without Rose, an empty gaping hole had been torn in all of their sides. Garnet was their strength and until they had all gotten back on their own feet, she remained solid and able.

Things were just starting to return to normalcy. Pearl had burnt off her new nervous energy by building a functioning human house for Steven (Garnet had suggested it when Greg had admitted that he couldn't work if Steven didn't have someone to watch him). Furniture, supplies, appliances, clothes, and diapers had been quickly bought or made.

Greg moved Steven out of his van and with the gems. He worked night and day, struggling to earn enough so that his son could have formula, diapers and such.

Amethyst, had been initially weary, rarely being near him if she could help it. Steven had begun to entice her with all the new strange sounds he made. Amethyst of course found the rudest and grossest things to be hilarious and Pearl's disgust only multiplied Amethyst's amusement.

Garnet knew this was the balance Rose would've wanted. Rose had only ever wanted them to be able love her son. And slowly and surely, Garnet watched as her teammates began to fiercely fall in love with Steven. Garnet loved Steven too.

Which is why Garnet felt like such a failure. She couldn't pick him up, couldn't cradle him in her arms or even hug him. She could touch him just fine. She often tickled his cheeks or kissed his mussy hair. But the very thought about carrying his feather light weight in her gem-shattering hands, she shuddered at the thought. Garnet had read a few baby books in the past few weeks. She knew how soft and delicate Steven's little body was. One wrong move and something might…

Garnet slid to the ground, pressing her head against the wall. She surveyed the large cavern filled with bubbled gems. She had promised Rose, that she would do everything in her power to protect Steven from danger. And she wasn't sure if one of those danger was her.

Garnet closed her eyes. She was tired. Pearl hadn't been able to join on missions as often so that she could take care of Steven throughout the night. Amethyst was capable, but sometimes her risk-taking behavior prolonged missions. Garnet had never stopped moving.

Missions. Steven. Working through the grief she never had time to really acknowledge. She hadn't really allowed herself anytime to rest.

Slowly, Garnet rested her head into her knees and let her mind wander aimlessly, drifting further and further into nothingness.