Pearl sat inside the house they had built for Steven. She was busily cleaning up the messy kitchen. Everything was covered in frosting, sprinkles, melted candle wax, flour, milk and wet hotdog buns. Most of it was Amethyst's fault-she had been so excited about cooking Steven's cake. Pearl had begun the process rather neatly and timely, but the next thing she knew Amethyst had swallowed all the flour, sprayed sprinkles over herself and somehow managed to destroy all of their hotdog buns. Garnet had watched the fiasco quietly, only speaking when Pearl looked as though she might strangle Amethyst right then and there.

Thankfully, Steven was staying with Greg today. He would've woken up with how much noise they had made. Usually, he would've been in the house with them, they had Fridays with Steven, but today was Steven's birthday. Greg had wanted to surprise Steven-'Surprise parties are all the rage now'. So Steven had stayed over with Greg yesterday so that they could surprise him this morning.

This would be Steven's fifth birthday party and the gems very first one spent with Steven. For the past five years, they had all gone their separate ways to mourn. Pearl would sit at her favorite cherry blossom tree, Amethyst would go who knows where, and Garnet took a moment alone in the temple. It wasn't something they had all agreed on, just something they all had needed. They hadn't realized though that Steven had taken notice of their behavior.

Greg had stopped by earlier in the week, dropping Steven and a dozen donuts off and had asked to speak privately with Garnet and Pearl. Amethyst had been in the kitchen, too busy sneaking Steven two chocolate jelly donuts to notice.

"I know you guys are always busy on Steven's birthday-I get it. But Steven's wondering if maybe this year, you wouldn't mind coming to his party. Even if it's only for a second, it would mean the world to him."

Pearl mindlessly began to scrub a giant scorch mark in front of the oven with a sponge with an annoyed sigh. 'Mean the world to him'? He was only five, what did he know of the world? But nevertheless, she had agreed to break from her routine and attend Steven's party. Pearl had been over the cake, Amethyst over balloons and stuff, and Garnet over presents.

They had begun setting up a few hours ago. Garnet and Amethyst had been taking tables, chairs, and cookie cat themed decorations out to the far side of the beach. Pearl sat up and quickly washed her hands. The kitchen was finally clean. Metal trays filled with hotdogs without buns, burgers, French fries, and fruit salad (Pearl knew Steven didn't like salad, but the boy needed proper nutrition to remain healthy). The cake sat covered on the counter next to a grocery bag full of cookie cats. Pearl was to bring them all out with the cake, when the others had gotten Steven settled.

Pearl sat down on the couch, crossing her legs and sighing. She was trying to fix her face. For some reason, from the moment Amethyst had rudely barged into her room this morning, Pearl had a frown on her face. Garnet had pointed it out to her before she and Amethyst had left to set up.

"Steven will think something's wrong if you can't at least pretend to smile." Garnet had said, looking at Pearl with a frown on her own face.

Something was wrong. Pearl felt her lip tremble and she held her breath. Rose had gone form their lives today. Every day of the year, Pearl missed her very dearly. But today was the worst. It was as if all the grief that had been building up over the year had deposited itself rather rudely in her life. No matter what she did, she couldn't ignore it. It weighed her down and slowed her every movement. Pearl rubbed her cool cheeks and tried to make herself smile. It wasn't easy though, especially when she felt tears threatening to spill over.

She loved Steven, in a fierce way that was different than her love for Rose. She wanted to protect him, make him feel special, and make him happy. Pearl loved when Steven smiled and she really wanted to see his smile today when he saw them at his party. But…but she…could barely keep herself together. She knew she was being ridiculous; it had been five years-why couldn't she stop crying on this day? Garnet didn't cry and neither did Amethyst. Greg might have in the beginning, but it seemed every year he grew stronger. Why couldn't Pearl become stronger? Why was she so weak?

The door slammed open and Pearl flinched. Steven stood in the door, his back still turned.

"I gotta go potty real fast Dad!" Steven yelled, closing the door and turned around. "Oh, good morning Pearl."

Pearl sniffled. "Good morning, Steven."

"I'm gonna go potty." Steven told her, marching to the bathroom.

"You do that." Pearl whispered halfheartedly, waiting until Steven closed the bathroom door before hurriedly wiping her face. The room was dark-Pearl always turned the lights off when Steven wasn't around. Pearl dashed to the kitchen covering the food with a blanket from the couch and froze when Steven came out.

"Pearl, I washed my hands!" Steven said, wiggling his damp hands around. Pearl snorted quietly-she had been working with Steven to wash his hands after the potty for weeks. Every time he did it without her asking, he got a lollipop or a sticker or (Steven's favorite) a kiss.

Pearl bent down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She dried his hands with a dish towel.

"Since it's your birthday, how about you get a lollipop and a sticker?" Pearl suggested her voice weak.

"No, that's okay." Steven said. "Daddy says you guys will give me kisses once you get back from your mission."

So that was what Greg had told Steven. "Yes, from our mission."

Steven squinted in the dark and then reached his hand to her face. He wiped at her cheek and looked at his palm. "Pearl, your face is wet. Are you okay?"

Pearl wiped at her cheek again, realizing that she had missed a bit of her face from earlier. "I'm fine, Steven."

"Are you sad cause today is my birthday?" Steven asked, looking down at his little sandals.

"What? No, I-I, who told you-."

"Because Dad gets sad today too. He doesn't want me to see, but I know he gets really sad and he cries too." Steven whispered, not looking at Pearl anymore. His head was turned toward the top of the door, at the portrait of Rose. "He says he's only sad cause today really makes him miss Mom."

"H-he does?" Pearl asked, grimacing as she watched Steven's usual bright face dim. "It's not your-."

"Fault. It's not my fault, that's what everybody says." Steven muttered. "But nobody means that. Cause you guys don't want to celebrate my birthday and Dad cries when he thinks I'm sleeping."

Pearl paused, unsure of what to say next. Steven had always been very forgiving with them. If something came up, he might be a little sad for a while, but he always came around rather quickly. He knew that they had to protect the planet. She hadn't known that he had noticed their odd behavior, and worse that he thought it was all his fault.

"S-Steven, I didn't know you felt this way." Pearl whispered, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I'm sorry, if we made you feel this way."

"I'm sorry too." Steven said, his eyes fixated on the painting. "I'm sorry that I took her away from you."

"Don't ever say that!" Pearl yelled. Steven flinched and finally looked at Pearl. Pearl's eyes were shiny and tears were falling down her pale cheeks.

"Rose wouldn't have wanted you to feel this way! Rose loved you so much, Steven. She wanted you to be here, with us and your Dad. Rose may be gone, but she gave us her most precious treasure ever."

Steven's eyes grew wide.

"I know we can all get a little weird around now. We all really loved your Mother and it's hard to stop loving someone even when they're gone. But we all love you just as much, maybe even more for Rose's sake. We promised your mother, that we would do everything in our power to keep you happy and healthy, no matter what." Pearl said, suddenly unable to continue as a sob shook her. She couldn't help it-she didn't want Steven to see her like this. Steven needed her to be strong.

Steven leaned closer to her and hugged her. Pearl froze before returning the hug.

"I know I never got to meet her but I wish I could've. All the time. Especially today. You guys have done a really good job taking care of me and stuff and I think Mom would be really happy." Steven mumbled into her neck. "I love you a whole lots Pearl."

Pearl laughed weakly, rubbing her watery eyes. How many times had she tried to tell Steven that his favorite phrase was grammatically incorrect?

"I love you a whole lots too Steven. I wouldn't trade you for the world." She whispered. Smiling into his fluffy hair, when she knew she meant it. If she had to live a life without Rose, then she was thrilled that it was at least with Steven.

"Pearl, I really like hugging you, but won't you be late for your mission?" Steven asked, looking up at her curiously. Pearl grinned at him with a chuckle.

"I have to give something to your Dad first. Maybe you can help me?" Pearl asked, swinging the boy up in her arms. "You are pretty strong."

Steven's face lit it up with that and he flexed his biceps. "Yeah, I can pick up Dad's weights and everything."

Pearl placed him on the ground and handed him the grocery bag full of cookie cats. "Don't look inside though; it's a surprise for your Dad."

"Then how come I can't look?" Steven pouted, nevertheless obeying.

"Your Dad is the tickle master is he not?" Pearl asked, lifting the assorted trays into her arms. "Once he knows I told you, there's no way he'll let you live."

Steven gasped, toddling behind her as she walked to the door. "You're right! I didn't even think of that."

Pearl opened the door for him and watched as he walked out. He paused, looking left and right.

"Where did he go?" Steven asked, unable to stop his pout when he turned back to Pearl.

"He's probably on the beach waiting for us." Pearl said. "Do you want to hold my hand?"

Steven squeaked happily and immediately took her hand. She walked him past the house, past the van, and to where she knew they had set up his little party.

"Steven close your eyes please." Pearl asked. Steven did as he was asked, rather used to the gems telling him to do weird things. Garnet said it was for his safety and that even if things didn't make sense that he needed to listen.

Pearl led him excitedly towards the party. There were two small tables, covered in decorations and presents. Greg had brought some small cars, scooters and a piñata. Amethyst had gone nuts with the confetti and Garnet lay resting on several of the mismatched chairs she had brought out. Greg had gone to the store earlier and was placing bottles of sodas down. As soon as Pearl arrived, Greg came over and tiptoed over and grabbed the trays and cake.

Pearl picked up Steven and brought him over to a chair that looked like a tiny throne. Greg came behind him and placed a crown and a robe around his shoulders.

"I smell Dad! And cake!" Steven shouted, his eyes still shut.

"Keep them eyes closed, Shtu-ball!" Greg said and kissed Steven's cheek. Steven giggled excitedly and kicked his little feet.

"Is it my party? Is Pearl going to be here for it? Do you think Garnet and Amethyst will come by too?" Steven asked, so excited he was shaking now. Greg handed Amethyst a confetti cannon and Garnet a bundle of balloons. Pearl was given a few party hats and they all stood in front of Steven.

"On three…happy birthday." Greg mouthed.

Pearl looked at Steven with a grin. Pearl didn't know how exciting birthdays were; she knew Steven would be excited, but she was practically bouncing too. She couldn't wait to see his face-she knew it would be amazing. Pearl caught a peak at Amethyst and Garnet. Amethyst had been bouncing off the walls since dawn and somehow she looked as though she might explode. Garnet, who was usually stoic and unreadable, was grinning.

"One."

Pearl really wished Rose could be here. Rose would've been over the moon to see Steven a whole five years old now. To see how strong and kind he had become.

"Two."

Pearl had felt like crying most of today. She had and hadn't wanted to go to Steven's party. She had wanted to go because Steven's happiness was her own and hadn't because she missed Rose. But Rose wasn't here any longer and her precious Steven was now. Steven who loved hugs, kisses, donuts, his dad and his gems.

"Three."

Rose only wanted Steven to grow up and live his human experience to the fullest. So, even if on this day that she often had horrid nightmares and often cried until Garnet found her, she would smile. Smile for Rose, who couldn't smile. But mostly for Steven, who deserved the best smile she could muster.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVEN!"