Apparently Derek's definition of food is a twenty-four/seven diner that must have been open since the beginning of time. It sits on the edge of town, and most of the patrons are sketchy looking truck drivers sitting at the counter with their third cup of coffee.

"He isn't breaking up with his girlfriend," I say sternly, leaning back in my seat and cross my arms. Derek narrows his eyes.

"Did you miss the part where her family is actively trying to kill him?"

"She isn't," I remind him. "I dunno how she did it, but that girl slipped the kid amortentia." He snorts at the reference, which gives me some hope for this partnership. "You are not going to screw this up for him." I point my finger at him. "And you're not going to stop him from playing lacrosse."

Derek looks like he wants nothing more than to slam his head into the table. The only thing that seems to stop him is the waitress - a black woman with a no-bullshit stare and twisted braids pulled up in an impressive bun - bringing out our food. I offer a small smile. She doesn't return it.

"He's going to lose control," Derek hisses as the woman leaves without a word.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should have a little more faith in him?" I ask lightly, swiping a fry from my plate and dropping it in my mouth.

"No."

Wow. Cold. I take a breath. "You're not making this any easier, dude." He glares at his food. "You want my help, you gotta take the criticism, alright? So first things first: No more unlawful entering of the house."

I can't say I've ever seen anyone look so angry taking a bite of a double cheese burger as Derek Hale. Drama queen.

"That it?" he demands. I laugh into my burger.

"Oh, honey, no. We're just getting started." I take a sip of my drink as he watches on, clearly not amused. "Stiles is in on this too, so you can't be mean to him."

"Seriously?"

"Leave Allison alone," I go on, ignoring him. He doesn't look up at me. "I mean it, Derek, leave them alone," I say, pointing a finger at his nose. "If she ends up being some sort of psychopath after his wolfhood, I'll deal with it."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

I shrug. "Dunno yet. I'll be creative, though." He doesn't look convinced. "It'll be fun, don't worry. I'll call up my brother and sister, they'll help." Lord have mercy on that little girl it if comes to bringing in Aaron and Alicia.

"Right."

"Next time you decide to try and scare the shit out of Scott, I wanna know first," I tell him. "Okay it and all that shit. Maybe record it and post in on reddit for that sweet, sweet karma."

"Thought I wasn't allowed unlawful entry," he says dryly. My head drops to the side.

"There are other ways to scare the shit out of people, Derek. Haven't you watched the movie Cursed with Christina Ricchi and the guy from Zombieland? There was this scene in a car garage, holy shit, that was a good one."

"Please don't tell me you've been watching all those shit werewolf movies for research."

I smile brightly at him. "Guilty. Hey, some of them are good."

"Most are shit."

I crinkle my nose at him. His brows raise at my next words. "Name one shit werewolf movie," I dare him.

"The Howling."

I slam my hand on the table, snatch my napkin packet of silverware and stick it under his nose. "The Howling was a cinematic masterpiece, I will fight you."

"She turns into a Pomeranian at the end," he says dryly, pushing my hand out of his face gently. "Did you miss the part where the husband and the she-wolf have sex and turn together?"

I make a face. "Okay, so that was a part that could have been left out. But did you read the book? The sex scene wasn't nearly as painful to read as it was to watch." I pause. "I mean, it still had some issues, obviously, but it was okay."

Derek leans back, rubbing his face with his hand and looking like he just wants to become one with the booth. "I am not having this conversation with you. We're talking about your cousin."

"Not the best segue, but fine." I cross my arms and lean back. "We'll stop talking about sex and books and not shitty werewolf movies." Derek rolls his eyes. "So our main problem is mijo going rage monster randomly. How do we stop that?"

"He needs to find an anchor, something for him to focus on and keep him human. Keep him calm."

I frown. "Anchor. Right. What are good anchors?"

"Pain."

"You can suck a dick."

He narrows his eyes. "Anger."

"Doesn't exactly sound healthy," I counter. "What about happy things? Badass things? Do phrases work? Can I have him memorize the Night Watch's Oath?"

"He's not going out past the Wall, so no."

I stick my tongue out at him. "Okay, but do phrases work?" He offers a curt nod. "Sweet. What about people? Like, get him to think about how his mom is gonna murder him if he does something stupid, would that work?" He just arches a brow and does a spectacular impression of someone who's 1000% done.

"Can you be serious? For five seconds."

"I am being serious!" I exclaim. "If I knew my siblings would be after my head if I went killed someone - which, they would - I sure as shit wouldn't hulk out."

"Right," Derek drawls. "You done?"

"It's a legit suggestion!"

"It could use some work."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Whatever." He leans back, smug. "So what about the guy that bit him? Is that going to be a problem?"

Derek's expression goes dark. "As far as I know, it isn't here anymore. I haven't caught its scent."

"That's good, right?" I ask. "No more teenage werewolves?" He opens his mouth to answer, only to be interrupted by a very smug Vegeta.

"Bitch, you just jealous of my super saiyan swagger."

Derek doesn't even look surprised at the text tone. I duck my head as I pull the phone out of my pocket. "I might have changed Scott's text tone."

"To DBZ abridged?"

"He turns into a rage monster during the full moon, dude. He's practically a super saiyan," I tell him, opening the message. "Also, the fact that you know what that was gives me so much hope for this relationship."

Human Puppy (1 new message)

where r u?
(HP)
Derek's bribing me with food. The diner out by the highway has some mean burgers, let me tell you mijo
(A)
y r u with derek?!
(HP)
We came to an understanding. We're cool now. We're figuring out how to keep you from killing people. Kinda. Don't worry, I'm fine
(A)

"So in other unsurprising news, Scott still doesn't like you," I declare, setting my phone down after putting it on silent.

"I don't need him to like me."

"It'd make things a lot easier if he did," I point out. He doesn't argue, so I count it as a win.

"ARES!" Stiles shouts, followed by a loud bang, the door slamming into my wall. "Ares!"

"What the fu-!" I pick up my head, hair falling in my face. "Stiles? Qué pasó?" I groan, falling back into my bed. "Is Scotty okay?"

"Scott-why haven't you been answering your phone?!" Stiles demands, rushing in the room, dropping his bag on my trunk. "We've literally been calling you all night!"

I motion to my phone on my nightstand. "'s on silent, mijo," I mumble, pulling my covers over my head. "Why are you here? Déjame dormir."

"Ares, seriously? Get up!"

And the covers are torn away. "Stiles!" I snap, finally sitting up to look at him. "What the hell?!" He drops the blankets on the floor, barely ducking in time to miss the pillow I throw at him.

"Derek killed the girl in the woods!" I drop my head in my hands.

"Not this again…"

"I'm serious, Ares, we found the body!" My head snaps up at him. "He had it buried by his land. She was, I dunno, a werewolf, a different kind." He shakes his head, like he's trying to rid the image form his mind. "Look, whatever. Scott's been going mental all night after you told him you were with Derek."

I hold my hand up to stop him. "Wait. Just, give me a second to process this." I take a breath. "Derek killed the girl and buried her body on his property?" That doesn't sound like the best idea in the history of murders. Isn't the idea to take the suspicion off of you?

"Yes! They arrested him this morning." Stiles drops into my computer chair. "She was wrapped in some sort of wolf's bane rope shit."

"Derek Hale. He killed the girl in the woods?" Because, really. I still can't see it.

Stiles barrels on as if I didn't speak. "It started messing with Scott when we were leaving. He jumped out of the jeep and ran for it." He pauses. "I think he wolfed out, man."

"Shit." I grab my phone, and yup. Missed calls. So many missed calls. "Shit. Shitshitshit." I look up at Stiles. "Out. I need to change."

"What about Scott?!"

"Why the fuck do you think I need to change, pendejo!" I snap. "Seriously, you think I'm just gonna head out and get groceries?" Stiles jumps up, side steps to the door. "Call Scott, ask him where he is."

"I already trie-"

"Then try again, Stiles." After tossing him my phone, I shoo him away with a dismissive wave of my hand. "Ya vete."

Stiles hurries out the room, pulling up the contacts of my phone as he goes. I take a second to breathe, because seriously, fuck my life.

After a quick change into clothes that make me look a little less like a hobo and pulling my hair up into a messy bun, I walk out of my room to meet Stiles. He's leaning against the wall, chewing on his thumb, talking quietly into the phone.

"-sounds really pissed, man. You sho-Hey!"

I snatch the phone from his hand. "Scott McCall, you have literally five seconds to tell me where you are." I shove past a flinching Stiles and take the stairs two at a time.

"Ares! You're oka-"

"Where. Are. You."

Behind me, Stiles says, "Oh shit, we're fucked."

Well. He isn't wrong.

We find Scott loitering outside Deaton's clinic. The clinic itself is closed and empty; Deats doesn't do weekends apparently, which, same. Scott and Stiles pulling shit like this isn't doing any of us favors.

"Stiles, backseat, now," I order as I pull up in front of Scott, who has his head ducked down and is reaching around his waist to grab his other arm. Stiles doesn't have to be told twice, and jumps out before the car is even in park, almost falling on his face before throwing the front seat forward and crawling in the back. God, that kid is awkward.

Scott doesn't even look up as he shuffles to the car, fixing the seat and climbing in the passenger side as Stiles situates himself in the middle seat in the back.

"Ares-"

"Just put on your seatbelt, Scotty." Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Stiles lean forward and pat his arm. The first five minutes of the drive is silent, save for Stiles thrumming his fingers on his knees.

"You weren't answering your phone," Scott finally mutters.

"I was asleep. I told you to stay away from Derek until I said so," I counter.

"I smelled blood yesterday!"

"And you didn't think to tell me?" I demand, hitting the brakes a bit too hard for a red light. "What the hell, you decided to just fuckin' go and check it out alone?"

"I didn't want to worry you!"

"Are you kidding me? Scott, you're a fuckin' werewolf! I'm always going to be worried now! You can't just keep this shit from me!" I push flyaway hairs out of my face as the light turns green. "How am I supposed to help you if you don't let me?"

"I don't remember asking you for help!" Scott snaps.

I throw him a glare. His body is tense, expression hard. "God, Scotty…" I take a breath. "You don't have to ask for help. We're family, mijo; we gotta look out for each other."

"I don't need you to look out for me," he mutters, but there isn't much heat in his voice.

"Yeah, well a lot of shit can fall apart because of that mindset," I tell him sharply. He winces as I go on. "So stop bitching and let me help you."

The silence that follows my words is tense and heavy. Unsurprisingly, it's Stiles that breaks it. "Is now a bad time to ask if you're speaking from experience?" he asks, leaning forward between the two front seats.

"I will literally throw you out and make sure you go under the wheels, Stilinski." He slowly leans back into his seat. "So what's the deal with Derek? Did he really kill the girl?"

"Did you miss the part where we found the body?" Stiles asks. I arch a brow at him through the rear view. "I mean, uh…"

"If he didn't, then why would he try to hide the body?" Scott asks, successfully saving his friend from being thrown out the car and under the wheels. And shit, he has a point.

"And you're positive it was the girl and not, I dunno, a manikin? Maybe he just has a weird fetish or something," I offer desperately. "Or what if it was old? Like, someone else buried it before he even got here."

Scott narrows his eyes in suspicion at me. "Why are you trying so hard to defend him?"

I throw a hand up. "Oh, I dunno, maybe because I need him to teach you how to not kill people?" I rub my forehead. "He's literally the only one that knows what's going on with you, dude."

"You know," Stiles says hesitantly. "As much as I don't like the guy, Ares has a point."

"Of course I have a point!"

"Doesn't change the fact that we went to the morgue and made sure it was the murdered girl," he goes on as if I didn't speak. My shoulders fall and I let out a mock sob. Scott glances back at Stiles before reaching over and patting my shoulder.

Why is this my life?

Finding a parking spot for the game is painful and annoying. In the end, Melissa and I just barely manage to snag one somewhere in the middle. It'll be a bitch to get out, but I have faith in my dear auntie.

"I don't get what the big deal is about this sport," I say, following Melissa to the stands, trying to ignore the cold. Probably should have grabbed a thicker hoody. "The band doesn't even play during half-time." Melissa snorts her laughter. "Does this school even have a marching band?" I ask, juggling the small poster boards in my hands.

"I wouldn't know, honey," Melissa admits. "Not like Scott could ever do that."

I nod, spotting Stiles heading for the bench. "Yeah, guess you're right. How much trouble do you think I'd get in for sitting up there with Stiles?"

She glances over at him, then shrugs. "From what Scott tells me, the coach is really featherbrained. You'd probably get away with it. If he catches you, just say you're with the school newspaper. He won't tell the difference."

A small part of me wants to take offense, because I did my time as a stupid high schooler, and I'm not too keen on being mistaken for one again. But on the other hand, get to sit with Stiles. I decide to take the optimistic route.

"Awesome. You want a sign?" I offer, holding one out for her.

"This is going to embarrass him so much," she sighs before smiling. "It's perfect, thanks." She takes the sign and heads up the stands. I turn to face the benches and see Scott standing just at the front of the field. Some ginger girl playing it smart and wearing earmuffs is standing with him, entirely too close to be happy with him, judging by her body language.

"Mijo!" I call out, getting both teens attention. Scott actually looks relieved as I all but skip over to him. I don't miss the lazy once over the girl gives me. I arch a brow at her before turning my attention to my cousin. "Estás bien?" I ask, grabbing his hand. He nods once, but doesn't look too convinced. "No te preocupes. Todo va ser bien, vas a ver." He offers a small smile. The ginger girl crosses her arms, obviously not liking being ignored. I give a small nod in her direction and really hope my next wuestion has a negative answer. "Es tu novia?"

Imagine my surprise when she's the one that answers. "No, no I am not his girlfriend."

"Ay, perdon, no sabía que habías entendido!" I exclaim, not feeling nearly as apologetic as my words. "Well, I'm off then," I say, leaning forward and planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Ares!" he exclaims, embarrassed. He wipes it off, crinkling his nose.

"Remember, kick ass, don't kill anyone, watch out for the jerk you were telling me about," I remind him. "Winning isn't everything, so don't go crazy, okay?" He glances over at the girl. She glares at me. It takes all my willpower not to roll my eyes at her.

"I don't know where you come from, but here, lacrosse is kind of a big deal," she says tightly. "We need this win."

"Ginger, you aren't the one playing," I tell her. "Go sit down." She rears back as if I struck her. Must be the queen bee, not used to being talked down to.

"Excuse me?"

I turn to face her, arching a brow. "Honey. It's good that you're showing team spirit, but don't push your problematic ideals on others. It doesn't end well for anyone."

"Oh my god, Ares," Scott groans, rubbing his face. The girl turns on her heels and stalks away. "Do you realize who you just pissed off?"

"She's like twelve, what's she gonna do?" I ask lightly, patting his cheek. He ducks away, catching my hand and pulling it away.

"You really think I'll be okay?"

I nod. "Every time you get mad, take a breath and remember that I got your back if you wolf out. I'll, I dunno, pull a Hermione and set someone on fire as a distraction, alright."

"Don't set someone on fire," he pleads, but he's smiling, so win for me.

"I gotta go. Gonna sit next to Stiles so he can tell me what the hell is going on. Good luck!" I shoot him a finger pistol and he turns a bright red. Ah yes, embarrassing the little cousin. Gives me life.

So that was that. Wanna take this time to give a shout out to those that have faved/followed/reviewed already. You're the best! ヽ(´▽｀)ノ For those just jumping in, I hope you like it so far and if you do, be sure to leave a review!

Translations

1. Qué pasó? - What happened?
2. Déjame dormir - Let me sleep.
3. Ya vete - Go away.
4. Estás bien?Are you okay?
5. No te preocupes. Todo va ser bien, vas a ver - Don't worry. Everything will be okay, you'll see.
6. Es tu novia - Is she you girlfriend?
7. Ay, perdon, no sabía que habías entendido - Oh, forgive me. I didn't know you understood.