Chapter 17: Lost and Confused

I was basically seeing colors everywhere . . . literally. My vision was not like anything I've ever seen before. I mostly saw blue everywhere but as I looked at the Bad Blood, streaks of yellow, orange, and red outlined his body enough that I could see his arms, legs and some of his face. It was the same for everyone else but I ignored them completely. I was dead set on the Bad Blood and he was the target of my rage.

When my roar echoed into the night, the Bad Blood turned around and faced me full on. To me, it looked like he was ready for a fight but his words said otherwise.

"What the pauk (fuck)?!"

I didn't give him enough time to react. I crouched down low and with very little effort, pushed my legs forward and rushed towards him with blinding speed. He tried to block my attack by crossing his arms in front of his chest but I saw it coming. I ducked down fast and swung my fist in a uppercut move with all my strength fueled by my anger, making contact with his abdomen. It was rock hard and I thought my hand would break from it. Surprisingly, it was like hitting a soft pillow. Soft but still firm.

The Bad Blood shrieked and began to stumble backward, gripping his abdomen but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I took a step back and raised my leg, making a round house move that made contact with the side of his head. The force from my kick caused him to fly across the open field and crash into a nearby tree.

Before this, I considered the Bad Blood to be like a moving tank. Unmoving and unstoppable. But now . . . he was like a little toy for me to play around with, groaning out as he struggles to stand up and I relished in it.

When he made eye contact with me, I gave an evil chuckle but this one sounded deeper and devoid of any emotion other than hatred. It was inhuman but I was too angry to make notice of it.

The Bad Blood finally got to his feet but still holding one hand to his abdomen. He began to growl deeply at me and I did the same, almost giving the same identical sound.

"How . . . is this possible? Guess you've been hiding something up your sleeve. What a dirty trick!"

I growled again as he recovers a bit from my last barrage of attacks. He stands up even taller to make himself look bigger. When I looked at his face more carefully, I could only see a long, red streak flowing down from his missing mandible like lava. In my mind, I enjoyed it, knowing that he was feeling the pain. I wanted him to suffer like never before and much more.

However, I could faintly hear mumbling from a distance but it was too inaudible to make it out. I shrugged it off and focused on the Bad Blood that was a few feet away from me. He opened his mandibles wide and spread his arms and legs out as if he was expecting me to come at him again.

And he was right.

I sprinted after him and when we made contact, he wrapped his arms around my waist in a wrestling move and tried to plant his feet into the ground to stop my momentum. However, I used all of my might to push forward, digging my nails into his sides and earning a yelp from him. The Bad Blood tried to stop me but my rage gave me the strength to drag him across and slam him into the same tree. The dust from our scuffle surrounded us in a cloud of dirt, creating a bitter taste in my mouth.

Although I had him pinned, it was only for a moment. The Bad Blood began to push back and I did my best to plant my feet down into the ground as he did. I could tell it was a struggle for him. His breath became labored along with mine but we were only just beginning. My heart pounded into my chest but from the exertion that I was putting out to keep him at bay.

The Bad Blood was pushing harder and when I knew that I needed to get out of this, I decided to move quickly. I stretched my legs behind me and wrapped my arms around his torso and with a strong lift, I threw him over me and he flew into the sky and over me. He landed funnily since his momentum threw him off balance, making it difficult to do a proper landing and he ended face first into the ground.

I turned around quickly and gave a huge roar like the one before. My chest rumbling hard and my stomach tightening but it felt good. He was getting beat down like a weak animal and I was feeling satisfied at the sight.

But then, the same mumbling echoes in my ears except that it was becoming clear and I could actually hear words being spoken.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"I don't know! What is she?!"

They were still muffled that I didn't know who's voice it belonged to.

"She's kicking that thing's ass! This isn't normal!"

"What do we do?"

"Just stay out of her way."

"Any—"

The last speech was cut off and I didn't have the chance to piece out what it was when I saw the Bad Blood come charging with his wrist blades out and ready to slice into me.

I growled again before he swung down his blades at me. I knew I didn't have time to dodge it so I grabbed them with my hand, feeling the stinging pain from making contact with it. I could feel the warm streak of my blood flowing from my hand and down over my arm but I ignored it as the Bad Blood chuckled.

"You've just become very interesting. You've actually hurt me. I've never had someone do this to me in my entire existence. Can you tell me how you can do this?"

My mind was completely blank. I didn't have the thought process that I normally had to answer his question. Like an angry bull, I was seeing red everywhere and I couldn't process what he was saying.

Without letting another moment pass, I gripped the blades harder and lifted him up. It took a little strain on my part but once he was in the air I swung him around like a hammer throw, using the force from it to keep the momentum going.

When I had enough, I gave out a mighty roar and released the blades, causing him to fly out again. I was basically throwing him around like a rag doll. However, this time, he was able to land on his feet properly and standing up straight immediately.

"Not in the mood to talk?"

I turned around to face him but I looked down at the cut on my hand where his wrist blades were. At first, the wound was deep and wide but in a matter of seconds, the wound began to close and then disappeared entirely, leaving traces of my blood as the only evidence that there was a cut.

"I see . . . You have fast regenerative abilities. That's impressive but it won't matter anyway. Time to end this!"

The Bad Blood came at me again with his wrist blades but I had one more thing up my sleeve. I became aware that my knife was laying on the ground between me and him so I took off quickly to grab it.

We were both only a few inches apart when he brought his blades towards my face. I dodged it and with a quick jab, I plunged the knife into his chest.

He let out a huge scream that pierced my skull but instead of reeling from it, I cherished the sound of him in pain. I wanted him to feel the agony that he brought to me and everyone else who mattered to me when he attacked Rory and Lar'ja.

I retracted my knife from his body and I stepped back quickly before he could punch me in the face. I went into a crouched stance as I watched the blood flow out of his abdomen. I saw his body tremble at the sight and he placed one of his hands over the wound. He looked back at me with eyes so full of hate that it could kill someone with just one glance at him.

"This isn't over! I will be back for you so be prepared."

Before I could take the chance to attack him again, he twisted around towards the forest and activated his invisibility cloak.

And then, he was gone.

I wasn't done with him yet when the Bad Blood took off. The anger began to build again in my chest until I couldn't hold it in anymore and I gave one last roar into the night sky, hoping that he heard me. I wanted him to know how much I wished for him dead but it didn't dissipate the pent-up rage inside me.

I was about to take off after him until I was interrupted by the sound of my name.

"Anya!"

I turned my head around to see who was calling me but my vision only gave me a picture of a silhouette covered in different shades of red, orange, and yellow. It was a small figure but then five, bigger ones came into my view. I could faintly see them holding something in their hands, pointing them towards me. I didn't know what to make of them.

"What now!?"

"Is she going to attack us next!?"

"If she does, we have no choice. We have to shoot her!"

When I heard that last statement, I went back into anger mode quickly. I turned my full body around in their direction, letting out a low growl at them. I couldn't recognize their voice. My mind was filled with so much chaos that nothing made sense as my anger took over me.

I crept closer to them and they all moved back a little, trying to keep a fair distance from me but I was having none of that. I held my knife up, ready to attack the first one who decided to shoot me. I growled menacingly and they all shook in fear.

"Shit! She's going to kill us if we don't do something!"

"We can't just kill her! She's our friend!"

"Right now she's not! She's a monster!"

When I heard the word 'monster' in my mind, something snapped inside me.

All of the anger inside me began to disappear and my mind was beginning to return to normal or at least somewhat. I shook my head back and forth to clear my mind but the anger wasn't completely gone. I kept my eyes closed in the hope that somehow, it would erase it.

I was about to open my eyes again until a particular smell stopped me in my tracks. It was the smell of rain in the spring. It was so soothing that an unusual purr erupted from my throat and I couldn't help but raise my head to the sky, feeling a wave of relief going through my entire body and removing all the anger I had before.

I didn't know where the smell came from but it was acting like my anchor to keep me from going crazy or something. But then I remember where I smelt it before when I went into the forest that one night. A night that I would never forget and I realize that the smell came from the one person that I trusted the most.

"Lar'ja . . ."

It was the first time I spoke and it was unusually deeper than before and in a different language. I became confused as to why my voice was like that. Then, my head started to ache and I screeched in pain, shutting my eyes tightly and placing a hand on my temple, gripping it so hard that I felt some blood running down the side of my cheek. And then, the voices began to come back.

"Please! Don't leave me, Mother! I want to stay with you!"

"You will never be alone, sweetheart. I will always be with you."

"Mother! Please!"

"I love you . . ."

"No!"

Then, everything stopped in an instant, like someone turned the lights off.

The headache was gone and I let go of my head slowly. It took me a moment until I opened my eyes slowly and what I saw caught me by surprise. Instead of my vision showing different shades of color from before, it was back to normal and I could see everything in detail now along with every shade of color. I could see every leaf on every tree and the ground that was covered in green, neon blood.

When I lifted my faces up, the red colored figures from before were gone and replaced with the faces of McKenna and the rest of our group except I was towering over them. It's when I noticed the fear on their faces and guns pointed in my direction. Instinctually, I raised my hands up as a show that I wasn't going to harm them but it didn't wipe their fears away like I thought they would, confusing me even more.

Why are they pointing their guns at me? What did I do?

I saw McKenna looking at me and his expression changed to one of curiosity. He lowers his gun down a bit while the others kept theirs fixed on me.

"What do you want us to do McKenna? I don't like this."

Coyle spoke out but trembled a little bit like he was terrified of me. What made him so scared?

"It's alright Coyle. I don't think she's going to hurt us."

"How do you know!? She just took down that fucking alien asshole like it was nothing! And now, look at her!"

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. What are they talking about?

"Hey, guys . . . What's going on?"

Suddenly, all of them jumped and gasped as if they were surprised to hear my voice. It just added to the incertitude that was already building inside me. My voice was definitely in English so they could understand me but it was still deep in tone.

"She can talk to us now! Amazing!"

Normally, I would have been annoyed by Brackett talking in such a manner but I was still unsure as to what was going on so I just ignored it as I spoke out again.

"McKenna . . . What happened? Why are you guys pointing the guns at me?"

That caused McKenna to be taken aback as if I should know that answer.

"You don't know Anya?"

I opened my mouth to say something until I caught a glance at the two people who I was mostly concerned about. I saw Rory laying down on his side but his eyes were open and alert and that brought so much relief to me, knowing that he was still alive but he looked frightened. I moved my eyes to his side and that is when I saw Lar'ja.

He was leaning his back on a tree trunk but looking very battered as if he went through hell and back. His chest rose up and down quickly and his breaths sound labored. I became very concerned when I remembered that the Bad Blood has done quite a number on him and Lar'ja was still recuperating from the earlier attack. Rory was staying close to him and checking once in a while if he was okay. His golden eyes stared into mine but they were filled with concern that I've never seen before. It worried me a lot.

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to make sure that he would be okay and that he just needed to rest. My heart began to ache at the thought of something worse happening to him. I didn't quite understand what this feeling was but all I knew was that I needed to go to him.

"Lar'ja . . . Rory . . ."

I moved forward a little, ignoring the fact that the guys, except McKenna and Brackett, had their guns still aimed at me and ready to fire at any sign of aggression on my part. I reached my hand out to them and was about to call them again.

But then I froze in a heartbeat when I saw my hand for the first time.

My skin was no longer the tan color from before. Instead, it had blotches of dark green on top that changed into a lighter green hue on the underside. Scales lined over each of my fingers that stops at my nails that were long and sharp, reminding me of claws on a tiger. I stretched my arms out so I could see the rest and it was the same color as my hand and it stretched all the way to my shoulders.

I began to worry a little bit and I looked down to see my legs were also the same as my arms. The same blotches of dark green with a lighter green hue between my thighs and when I looked down at my feet, there were claws too except I could only count four toes and saw that my last toe was on the side of my ankle. My clothing was shredded in some places as if something stretched them beyond their limits. They barely covered me now since I saw that my breasts had become larger than before.

What the fuck is this!? Am I dreaming?!

I was afraid to touch my face since it was the only part that I haven't checked yet but I needed to know. I reached out to touch my cheeks but they were blocked by something else. I could feel some kind of appendage sticking out on each side of my face. I felt the bones inside of it and I traced along it, stopping when I reached a sharp point on it and it reminded me of a tusk on an elephant. I traced further until I reached my mouth but I felt points of my teeth that were razor sharp to the touch.

I was beginning to panic. I didn't know what was happening to me and some part of me just wanted to believe that this was all a dream but it seemed too real.

I turned my head in a side to side motion erratically until I saw the windows of the trailer from across. I decided to use them as a mirror so I could get a better look at my face. The windows were cracked but I could see some of my reflection on it.

At that moment, I instantly regretted it.

It was no longer my face but that of a Yautja. At first, I thought I was looking into the reflection of Lar'ja but then I noticed the subtle differences. Lar'ja's forehead had a V-shaped blotch in the middle of it but instead, the blotches were everywhere and were the same as my arms and legs. I saw that my forehead was huge and stretched until it stopped at the end that was covered by some ridges, where tube-like strings emerged and fell down past my shoulders.

My face was something I would never forget and didn't recognize. Four mandibles were bent in front of my inner mouth that was full of razor-sharp teeth. I tried to see if I could move the mandibles and I jumped in shock when they actually twitched on my command. My nose was completely gone but I could still smell everything around me.

The only thing that hadn't changed much was my eyes. They were the same dark, blue color as before but now they were sunk into my skull and I could see the fear and panic in them.

No longer did I look like a human but a Yautja now.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

The panic inside me erupted and I stepped back frantically, tripping on my own feet and landing hard on my ass. I got up quickly and stumbled to get my balance back.

What the fuck!? Why am I like this?! Who did this to me!? FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Next thing I knew, McKenna comes close to me and waves his arms out to grab my attention.

"Anya! Calm down. You need to sit down. Please."

"Calm down!? I don't know what's happened to me! This isn't normal!"

"I know it seems scary to you right now but you're freaking yourself out more than you should. Just relax and we can help you."

Brackett comes quickly to McKenna's side, looking just as concerned as him.

"He's right! We can help you so just sit down and calm yourself."

They didn't understand. I just found out that I transformed into an alien that I thought was impossible to do. They don't know what it's like to realize that you're no longer human but a freak of nature. They don't understand!

"You don't know what's happening to me! I—"

All of a sudden, my vision became blurred and my head felt light. My body began to lose strength and the next thing I knew, I could feel myself falling backward and everything went dark.

The last thing I could remember was feeling my body being lifted up from the ground by two pairs of strong arms.

It seemed like only minutes had passed before I had the strength to open my eyes. At first, my vision was blurred until I blinked a few times, which I could see better after doing it. My body was sore and aches everywhere and that's when I remembered the last time I was awake.

I lifted my hands to my face to get a closer look and I saw that it was back to my smooth, tanned skin. I touched my face and felt no mandibles on me and my nose was where it should be. I took a huge breath of relief after seeing it.

Thank goodness! It was just a bad dream . . .

Using all of my current strength, I lifted my upper half off the ground, which I noticed that a blanket was under me to keep me comfortable. I took a look around and saw that I was in some cavern but was different than the last one. I could hear a waterfall nearby so I assumed that I was moved into a different area with a fire lit in the center.

I should have known that. Since we were discovered, we needed to move somewhere else. But where is this?

Then I realized that I didn't see any of the guys or even McKenna and Rory. Where are they? And where is Lar'ja?

I tried to get up on my feet as quickly as possible but when I did, something on my wrists kept me pinned to the ground. I tugged again but they wouldn't budge and that is when I saw that there were chains locked on my wrists.

What the fuck is this?

I took a quick glance around me and followed the chains where the ends were wrapped around a spiked rock. I pulled as hard as I can but there wasn't much I can do. I was about to go to the rock and try to break it until a voice shouts out to me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I whipped my head around and saw Brackett at the entrance of the cave. I wanted to scold her for the chains until I noticed the look on her face. I saw concern and worry in her eyes and I was confused at to why she would look like that but I ignored it.

"What the fuck is going on? I wake up with chains on me. Why am I tied up like this?"

"You really don't remember what happened a few nights ago."

I raised my eyebrows in confusion at her statement.

"What do you mean?"

Brackett moved closer to me but kept a fair distance between us, which I found a little unusual but she kept talking.

"You fought that huge alien by yourself and changed into one of them. You became a predator right in front of us. How did you do it?"

"What?"

The words that came out of her mouth was confirmation that it wasn't a dream. I did become a Yautja but it doesn't explain how and why it happened to me. True that there were some signs that I was 'different' but never did I imagine that 'this' could happen. Then I remembered something else.

"Where's Rory? And Lar'ja? Are they alright? Did they hurt badly? Have they got treated yet?"

A million questions ran through my mind along with the panic. I wanted to know if they were okay and that they had survived the night. Before I could ask any more questions, Brackett motioned with her hands to calm down.

"It's alright. Rory got a little banged up but nothing too serious. He'll be alright."

I closed my eyes and sighed in relief. At least Rory is okay for now . . .

"And Lar'ja? How's he doing?"

That is when Brackett went silent. She was hesitating to give me an answer and I assumed the worst has happened to him.

"Where is he? What have you done with him?!"

"Shhh . . . It's okay. I think he's alright."

"Think?"

"When you went unconscious, he was the one who carried you into this cavern that he said was safe for all of us. Once you were settled in, he just took off without saying where he was going."

It took me a while for her words to sink into my mind. Lar'ja had taken off while I was asleep and although Brackett didn't know the reason for it, I knew that he was going to leave anyway due to his mission that I didn't know anything about. But deep inside me, I was hoping that he would stay with me until I woke up. The thought that it didn't happen that way cause my chest to sting.

"So why am I chained like this?"

Brackett turned her head to the side and closed her eyes as if trying to find a better way to explain it but after some time, she looked back to me and spoke.

"After what we saw a few nights ago, all of the guys believed that you were too dangerous to be left roaming free so they put the chains on you. Both McKenna and I tried to vouch for you since you were very scared last time but we were overruled."

She paused a bit to catch her breath and continued on.

"They were going to leave you behind for Stargazer to find but Lar'ja and Rory were having none of it. We were about to convince them to take you with us but on the condition that you would be . . . restrained."

"Restrained, huh?"

Somehow, I knew that they would do something like this since I became a monster. But maybe I am one after all. I tried for years to convince myself that I wasn't it. Now . . . I was a fool to think otherwise.

I turned to my side and curled myself into a fetal position on the ground so my back was turned to her as I closed my eyes tightly. I could hear Brackett was about to say something but it became deadly silent. After some time, I heard something being placed beside me and it was soft to the touch.

"I brought some clothes to give to you. The ones you are wearing are torn up from your 'change' so I thought you would need some new ones. Please put them on so that you can get warm. I'll check on you a little later and bring some food."

I didn't make any notion of acknowledgment as I heard her walk back to the entrance and then it was quiet.

I made no move in grabbing the clothes as I was too depressed to move at all. I transformed into a Yautja before everyone's eyes and now, all of them were too scared to let me roam free so they chained me like some kind of animal. And Lar'ja left me so he could finish the mission that he mentioned before, not caring if I was okay or not.

What was I making myself believe? That I was normal? That I could be like everyone else? That I could fit it? How stupid of me!

I tightened my grip around my shoulders and brought my legs closer to my abdomen, not caring about the cold that was creeping over my skin, even with the fire still going strong.

I just wanted to fade out of existence and be forgotten by everyone else. I thought I knew myself but after this, I was just as lost as a lone child.

But everyone was right about me. I was a monster. A monster that should be driven out of existence. No one cares for me so it would be easy to do it. Very easy . . .

The only thought that kept repeating in my head was that I was just a monster.

A monster . . .

Hi Readers!

With all the shit going down with Anya, no wonder that she feels depressed but will she be in this state forever? Now that she knows what she is? And will the guys ever feel comfortable around her like before after what they had seen?

And will Lar'ja return to her or leave her behind?

Well . . . At least she kicked the Bad Blood's ass! LOL!

Stay tuned for the next chapter, which might be delayed until after next week due to Christmas being so close now and I want to spend more time with my family but keep posted cause you never know what might happen. :)))

Happy Holidays! :))))