Amethyst wasn't sure exactly when she returned back to the temple. She had been all around the world, a wild mass of light and power. Her shape hadn't been exclusive; one day she was a falcon, the next a wolf, a fish, a horse, anything but her. She couldn't stand to be her. Because in her human body, the tears would flow and they just wouldn't stop.
Rose was gone. And it was as though someone had punched Amethyst right in the gem. She couldn't breathe-she didn't need to, but it was strange that every breath she took physically pained her. The pain sat uncomfortably right under her gem, and on nights when she had hands, she would press them hard against her chest. On the days when she grew so tired, that she couldn't move-she simply sat listless wherever she had stopped. She feared sleeping-once one of her favorite activities, because no matter what she did; she still had nightmares. Nightmares mostly of the kindergarten and being alone again.
Rose had rescued her. Amethyst had been abandoned in the Kindergarten for a very, very long time. Amethyst had been born into chaos, constantly surrounded by thousands of other wild, reckless gems. There hadn't been order or hierarchy. Only the sweet, sweet release of action or reaction. Amethyst had never needed to think, merely kick, punch, or bite her way to what she wanted. She wasn't sure how long that lasted, time wasn't a concept any of them understood or talked about. They had been programmed with the ability to speak, but only a few actually did. Amethyst preferred screaming and grunting to get what she had wanted.
When the war had begun, all of the familiar faces began to disappear. Ships, humongous, loud, monstrous machines fell from the sky. Legions of silent gems had started taking the other gems, snatching them away from the familiar caverns and forcing them into the ships. Amethyst had always liked the constant noise of the Kindergarten, but when the screaming began Amethyst had hidden away. She burrowed herself into her hole, hoping that the terrifying new chaos would end. She had closed her eyes and when she had come to there had only been emptiness and silence.
In her short life, Amethyst had never been alone. There hadn't been a moment when she hadn't been brushing up against another gem. Now there was no one. Except for the rocks, who became her new family. To feel safe, for she had always feared that the big flying shadows would come back, she had filled her home with rocks and junk that fell from the sky. She would sometimes, split a large rock open and squeeze herself between them. It made her feel safe, to be surrounded by something other than nothing.
Amethyst had never explored outside the kindergarten and had never tried to leave it. She knew where the warp pad was, but she never dared touch it. She knew what it was too. Well kind of, she had known that it brought gems and took gems outside the kindergarten. On the lonely days, she would just watch it and wait-hopeful that maybe one day some gems would come. Gems who were nice-who maybe wanted to stay and play with her.
Rose had answered her wish. Rose had held her in ways that rocks couldn't. She had answered Amethyst's constant question about her purpose and made her feel important. Rose had played with her, Pearl had taught her words, and Garnet had taught her how to fight. It was the family she had always wanted.
But Rose was gone now. Leaving behind a squirming, tiny, pink creature that screamed like nothing Amethyst had ever heard before. Greg had left with it, after Pearl's fit he hadn't really had a choice. Amethyst was fine with that-she wanted Rose not that tiny thing.
Amethyst hadn't intended to come back when she did. She had been flying above one of Earth's oceans and a hurricane had slammed into her slender feathery shoulders. The wind ripped at her until she had gone limp and had been thrown into the water. And the ocean had kindly deposited her in front of the temple. And that where Garnet had found her, sopping wet and half-buried in the sand.
"What is all this junk?" Amethyst had asked. Garnet had picked her up and had jumped past a mess of wood and stuff.
"It isn't junk. It's Steven's house." Garnet said, wiping seaweed from Amethyst's messy mane.
"Aren't you gonna ask where I've been?" Amethyst asked.
"You're back. That's all that matters." Garnet said, opening the door to the temple and walking inside.
Apparently Amethyst had been gone for a month and three days. And a lot had changed. Pearl was somewhat stable again, though still prone to crippling anxiety attacks. Garnet seemed the same, if not a little quieter and more like a leader. Amethyst had changed too. She didn't fit in Pearl's arms anymore and she didn't visit her human friends either-though it wasn't said, her presence was wanted-no needed here.
So she had stayed near the temple, making sure not to wander off too often. She occasionally helped with Steven's room and was asked to guard the skeleton of the house when Pearl and Garnet went on the occasional mission.
Currently she was sitting on the dusty stairs Pearl and Greg had constructed earlier today. Since humans didn't have awesome jumping abilities, they had installed them for Greg's and maybe Steven's (maybe he would have awesome jump powers) convenience. Amethyst still hadn't met Steven or seen Greg since she had come back. She had been actively avoiding them when they came by. Whenever Amethyst heard Greg's van, regardless of whatever she had been doing, she just got up and left.
She was mad. Mad at Greg for taking Rose away from them. Mad that Pearl would waltz toward the van with a happy strut in her step. Mad that Garnet would smile at the brat and that they would all huddle around him too. They would coo and make weird noises while they did it-they looked ridiculous.
Amethyst lazily wiped hair from her forehead and repeatedly tapped her fists into the sturdy wood. She was bored and restless. She wished Pearl and Garnet had let her go on the mission. She would prefer anything to guarding this dumb, stupid house all alone.
Amethyst snapped up, when a familiar rumble sounded through the beach and she heard the sound of tires driving through sand.
Never mind, she took it back! She loved guarding this dumb ol' house and she couldn't think of anything better in this whole wide world to be doing right now. She could guard day and night, for a whole year-just please let that not be Greg!
It was Greg. Or at least it was certainly his van that came around the corner. Large planks of wood were strapped down to the roof by neon yellow cords. Pearl had vaguely mentioned earlier that Greg was supposed to drop off more materials for the house, but she had made it seem as though he would do it tomorrow. Not this evening. Not while Amethyst was on guard duty.
Amethyst blinked once then twice, before disappearing in a flash of light. She shrunk her form down into a tiny cat-smaller than her most usual feline form. She slunk under the stairs, pushing her soft fur into the brambles and bushes. Her vision was shrouded, but she was certain that Greg couldn't see her. Greg backed the van up toward the house, and stopped a little ways away from the stairs.
Greg stepped out the van, hurrying to the passenger side and taking out a brightly colored car seat. In it, Amethyst could smell Steven. Her sensitive nose picked up the sickeningly sweet smell of milk and baby powder.
"Okie dokie kiddo." Greg said, unbuckling Steven so that he could freely wiggle about. "Daddy's got to get this wood off the van and near the house."
Greg pulled Steven out and walked toward the stairs. Amethyst somehow willed her cat form to flatten even further into the prickly grass. Greg opened the back doors to the van and placed Steven inside. A new weird gate had been installed-probably to keep Steven from falling out-even though he didn't look very capable of anything especially escaping the van.
"I'll be in the front if you need me. Hopefully Daddy doesn't end up needing Garnet's help again." Greg pinched Steven's cheek and disappeared in front. Amethyst lifted her ears and listened to Steven's quiet babble. She sat up, her furry chest still quivering a she tried to calm down. She stepped out from under the bushes, her fur still standing on end.
She should run. Run into the plastic tarps that Pearl had strategically placed around the house and wait until they came back or Greg left. She could abandon her post, but then Pearl would freak out-even the tiniest things set her off now a days. Amethyst hated being told what to do, but she hated seeing Pearl ready to cry even more.
One uncertain paw lifted and her entire body tensed, ready to go racing into the comforts of the unfinished house when Steven made a weird gurgle. Amethyst turned toward the van and saw that Steven's head was turned toward her. Could he see her? Did babies have super vision or something-but he was part gem…? She could barely see him through the pale pink plastic mesh, but she could just barely see bright eyes focused on her. They kind of looked like Greg's eyes, but maybe they looked like Rose's? What if he had pink hair? Amethyst had seen humans with pink hair before-they had looked good. Wait, what if Steven had huge pink curly hair like Rose?
Amethyst had never seen Steven before-or at least more than a few fingers or a foot. And she hadn't thought to ask Pearl or Garnet what he looked like, she had been too caught up with just trying to make it through each day.
Amethyst's cat eyes flicked left and right, her whiskers twitching as a breeze brought Steven's warm scent closer. She had always thought babies smelled bad, but Steven didn't. Maybe it was different for half gem babies? A lavender paw inched its way from the shadows of the stairs. She had also thought that babies sounded ugly-all they did was cry and junk. But Steven was making a strange gurgling noise and babbling strangely.
A shiver ran through Amethyst's messy fur and before she knew what she was doing, she had darted from safety toward the van. She softly skidded under the van and waited for her fur to lay down. She heard Steven's continued babbling and Greg still untying the planks.
She peeked from underneath the metal lip of the van and climbed on top of it. She pressed herself against the pink gate and easily climbed inside the van.
She hadn't been inside this van in a long time. When Rose and Greg's relationship had blossomed into something more-something too stupidly romantic to stand to be around anymore-she had stopped visiting. The van had never looked so clean, usually Greg had a bunch of his band junk or anything he collected over the years lying about. Amethyst had always admired Greg's ability to store so much in such a small space.
Now the van floor was clean. Greg's bed was still there, but now there was a blue basket with a little starry cover. With the amount of unnecessary frilly bows and the little boxing gloves mobile-she had a feeling she knew who had gotten it for Steven. Then there was Steven.
He was resting on a blue blanket, uncomfortably close to her tail. He was watching her with wide, focused eyes. Rose's eyes. Definitely not Greg's. For a baby Steven sure did have a lot of hair-and though it wasn't pink-it was curly. He was pudgy and still rather pink, with a rosy blush on his chubby cheeks. He was only in a diaper, his bright pink gem catching the sun now and again.
"So you got her gem?" Amethyst asked, padding a little closer, mindful to keep her tail out of his reach. She sniffed at his gem, wondering if Rose was in there somewhere. Could Rose see her right now, through Steven's eyes?
"I don't know why they like you so much. You can't even do anything." Amethyst sniffed, watching as Steven kicked his little legs excitedly. He was trying to follow her with his head, but his neck wasn't very strong yet. His starry eyes twinkled in awe as he met his first cat.
Of course he didn't yet know that they furry little purple creature before him was called a 'cat', but it was his first. He had met two dogs, several colorful birds, lots of butterflies and ladybugs and tons of new people. Everybody he met, smiled and waved at him. Sometimes even making funny faces. This was the first being he ever met that didn't look happy to see him and that only fascinated him.
"I mean, I guess you're not ugly." Amethyst muttered, rubbing one of her paws under her chin. "But babies are gross, so I have no clue why Pearl likes you."
Steven giggled, a bubble of spit popping out of his mouth. He stuck one of his fists into his mouth and drooled all over it.
"Ugh, you're almost as gross as me dude." Amethyst snickered. "Pearl must've screamed the first time she held you."
Pearl hadn't screamed the first time she had held Steven. She had screamed the first time he had thrown up on her though.
"You're so tiny though. I thought you would be bigger by now." Amethyst sniffed at his clean hair. She rubbed her cheek against it and began to purr. Steven cooed, amazed at the new sensation. He brushed his sticky hands against her unbearably soft fur. Amethyst didn't really mind, she had been pet by dirtier children in worse conditions.
"I guess you're not that bad." Amethyst sighed, letting Steven's head rest against her belly. Steven's fingers briefly touched her gem and Amethyst opened one of her eyes lazily. Steven was now focused on her gem, letting his tiny fingers stroke it.
"That's my gem. I guess you've seen Pearl's and Garnet's. You've got one too, which means I guess you're a crystal gem. Even if you're just a baby." Amethyst said, sitting up and standing over him. Steven watched silently now, only cooing under his breath. Amethyst placed her tiny paw on his gem.
"And if you're a crystal gem, that means we're family." Amethyst whispered. She was about to say more when suddenly Greg appeared. He was sweating and out of breath.
"Okay son. We're gonna have to wait for Pearl or Garn-." Greg stopped, eyes wide as he surveyed the scene in front of him. "Amethyst?"
"Oh…uh sup Greg." Amethyst said, somehow managing to shrug her cat shoulders.
"I-I thought you were on a mission?" Greg asked, unclicking the baby gate and sliding it open. "Pearl said-."
"Pearl, Mearl. Pearl's been weird, she probably just forgot to tell you or something." Amethyst rolled her eyes. They had been covering for her. She hadn't thought they would do that for her.
"Oh, well I guess you met Steven." Greg chuckled, rubbing his hands against his jeans nervously.
"Yep. Seen yo' baby." She laid down on top of Steven's tummy, purring quietly. "Nice kid."
"Had a feeling you'd say that." Greg sat down with a huff. "You never really liked babies."
Amethyst sighed, before allowing her furry form to shift back to her human body. She sat up and looked past Greg toward Steven's house.
"I like kids. I like kids just fine." Amethyst mumbled, letting her fingers wander into her hair.
"I know. You liked little SC." Greg said, looking at the house as well. "You just don't like our kid."
Greg picked Steven up from his blanket and cradled him. Amethyst sighed heavily and rested her elbows on her legs. She didn't know what to say. Should she be truthful? Should she lie? Rose had always loved her blunt honesty, but Rose wasn't here anymore.
"I didn't…at first." Amethyst groaned. "I mean what do you expect? One of my best friends goes and makes a kid with the first gem who ever showed me kindness! Then that gem goes and dies-she didn't have to! But she wanted to, for you. And for him."
She tried not to raise her voice, but as each word came out of her mouth, her voice got louder and louder. She pointed an accusing finger at Steven.
"What about us? What about all of us, Greg? Pearl's a wreck. Garnet barely talks anymore. You've lost like fifteen pounds and I've been visiting the kindergarten-even though I told Rose I wouldn't go there anymore!"
Steven began to cry, unsettled by the yelling. Greg hugged him a little tighter and began to gently pat his back.
"Amethyst, please." Greg harshly whispered.
"And for what? For that tiny little baby? We don't even know if he can really be a crystal gem." Amethyst spat through clenched teeth.
"Garnet says he will." Greg muttered, letting Steven suck on his thumb to calm himself down.
"Garnet can be wrong." Amethyst muttered.
"She usually isn't though." Greg said, switching Steven from one shoulder to another. "I know this is hard for you."
"What do you know?" Amethyst growled quietly, mindful that Steven was only quietly whimpering now.
"Rose gave you something that no one ever had before. She loved you, loved you in a way you didn't think existed or that you deserved. She was all you ever wanted or needed; as long as you had her everything was right in the world." Greg sighed, brushing his fingers through Steven's curly locks. "And it feels like I took her away from you. That Steven took her away from you."
Amethyst didn't say anything, she only wrapped her arms around her legs. It was true. She hated that he was right. Not only because she didn't want him to be right about how she was feeling, but because she knew it was wrong to feel this way about a human newborn.
"I felt the same too." Greg murmured. "I thought it was my fault. And I really thought it was Steven's fault too. For the first few hours of his life, I really hated him. I didn't want to have anything to do with him-I just wanted my Rose back."
They sat in silence for a moment. The only noise between them was Greg's and Steven's breaths.
"How did you stop feeling like that?" Amethyst croaked, her voice heavy with unshed tears.
"Feeling like that? I was holding him. I hadn't put him down since Rose… I-I I just was looking at him. He looked so peaceful. And then he opened his eyes and looked right at me." Greg cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. "He hadn't taken Rose away from me. He was Rose's last gift to me. He didn't ask for Rose to die. He didn't ask for any of this."
Amethyst knew what that felt like. Being thrust into a situation that you never asked to be put in, and having to convince the world that you were worth all the trouble. Amethyst knew Steven would be facing the world when he got older and that the world wouldn't be kind. Steven would need to fight to be accepted because he didn't really belong to Greg's world or the gem's world. If anyone was going to teach him how to kick the world's butt, it would be her.
"I know Rose would have wanted you in his life. But I'm not going to force you or anything. If it's too much, then-."
"Are you kidding me?!" Amethyst guffawed. "Like I wouldn't be in this kid's life. He needs someone awesome to teach him about cool gem stuff. And if I'm not here, Pearl will make him think Rose was boring and stuff! I'll tell him how fun she was!"
"Really? You're okay with the house and stuff too?" Greg asked.
"Yeah, humans need houses. And you gotta work so he can eat so, I'm good with it." Amethyst shrugged, scooting a little closer to Greg and Steven.
Steven sniffled, rubbing his face into Greg's shirt before turning towards Amethyst. He was still suckling Greg's thumb, drooling all over Greg's hand.
"So, is that how you feed him?" Amethyst asked. She knew the basics about how babies came to be, but she wasn't very sure how you kept them alive. She knew they needed milk, but Pearl had mentioned to her that human babies needed 'special' milk.
"Huh? Oh, no. But he's probably hungry. It is around his feeding time." Greg chuckled. "He's practically eating my thumb."
Greg set Steven down on the blanket and climbed further into the van. There was a plastic baggy in the back and a large gallon of water. Amethyst idly watched Greg prepare Steven's bottle. Steven, hearing the sound of formula, began to wildly kick his limbs excitedly. Steven stuck both his hands into his mouth and grunted.
"He knows it's time to eat." Amethyst giggled, poking Steven's tummy.
"He does. He starting to recognize more stuff now. He knows when Pearl and Garnet are about to visit. I told Pearl babies like schedules and they've been visiting every meal like clockwork." Greg grinned, shaking the formula up. He scooted back over to Amethyst and Steven. "You wanna feed him?"
Amethyst paused. She had never fed anyone before, especially a tiny baby. What if he choked? Or he started crying?
"I don't know Greg…" Amethyst groaned. "What if something bad happens?"
"That's what I'm here for!" Greg said. "It'll be fine. I just place him on your lap and you tilt the bottle."
Amethyst looked down at Steven. Steven wasn't paying attention to them, instead his big eyes were focused on the bottle in Greg's hand. He began to whimper when the bottle didn't get any closer.
"Okay, okay! Lay him on me."
Greg gently lifted Steven and placed him in Amethyst's lap. Greg handed her Steven's bottle and she held it awkwardly.
"Not like that." Greg instructed. He helped her position the bottle correctly and guided her hand toward Steven. Steven eagerly latched onto the bottle and began to drink as fast as he could.
"Does he always eat this fast?" Amethyst asked, amazed that someone so small could eat so much.
"Yep. When this kid's hungry, he's really hungry." Greg laughed. "I can't complain though, some parents struggle to get their kids to eat as well as he does."
They watch Steven eat for a few minutes. Steven didn't really mind an audience. Garnet and Pearl loved watching him eat all the time. It was kind of fun to watch too. As soon as Steven finished, Amethyst tossed the bottle. Greg picked Steven up and pressed him against his shoulder.
"What are you doing now?" Amethyst asked, crawling toward the plastic bag full of formula.
"Burping him." Greg explained. "Babies can't burp by themselves yet so you have to help him. But not too hard, cause he might spit up. And not too soft or nothing will happen."
Amethyst grabbed a half full bottle of formula and began to drink from it. She spat it out with a gag.
"Amethyst did you just drink some of his formula?" Greg sighed, still firmly patting his son's back. Steven burped softly, nuzzling into Greg's neck.
"Why would you feed him that?" Amethyst coughed, rubbing her tongue against the van's carpet. "That stuff is nasty."
"It taste good to babies." Greg shrugged. "If you want when he starts eating solids, you can taste test his baby food."
"Does it taste as bad as that formula?" Amethyst crawled forward, taking in deep breaths of fresh air. She let her hair free and blow in the light breeze.
"Yeah. There's this one, called mashed turkey and gravy. I'm not even sure if it's really food." Greg shuddered, letting Steven sit in his lap.
"Buy me donuts if I do it?"
"How many are we talking about? You're a bottomless pit and I gotta kid to feed."
"Just a dozen. Chocolate with bacon sprinkles."
"You can't spit it out. One whole jar."
"Come on Gregory. Bet me or not?"
"It's on."
A sudden bright blue light filled the structure of house and Amethyst watched Pearl quickly dance out. Pearl gracefully waltzed down each newly crafted step, while Garnet cleared it without a thought.
"Oh, Garnet we missed his bottle." Pearl sighed. "Oh, good evening Amethyst."
"Sup P." Amethyst waved halfheartedly. "How'd the mission go?"
"Fine." Garnet said, sitting down in the van, placing Amethyst on her lap. Pearl sat down in the van too and held her hands out for Steven. Greg placed a full Steven into Pearl's arms. Steven sighed as Pearl began to pat his back, humming quietly under her breath.
They sat quietly surveying the half-finished house. It would be a few more weeks before the house was really ready for Steven. Garnet and Pearl worked every night on the house, doing most of the heavy lifting. Greg had managed to get appliances and furniture from around Beach City-mostly free or half priced. What he couldn't get around town, he ordered online. He had a friend down at Beach City Powers, who was going to hook them up with water, gas, and electricity. Garnet wanted the temple and cave to be accessible from Steven's room, so the house was constructed around the mouth of cave.
This had been what Rose had wanted. She had wanted them to be together, working with one another to ensure that Steven would know both of their worlds. Amethyst hadn't thought it possible. She hadn't wanted to watch their little family crumble any further, so she had run. The Crystal Gems had been the best thing to ever happen to her and when Steven had been born he had threatened everything.
But now that Amethyst really got a good look at him, he didn't seem like a threat. He was just a tiny, pudgy little baby who was currently drooling all over Garnet's hand. Garnet had offered him her fingers and he had eagerly accepted them. Probably to save Pearl's shoulder.
Amethyst looked up to the sky, watching the evening slowly turn into dusk. A few twinkling stars began to glimmer here and there. The moon slowly began to appear in the sky.
She couldn't make any promises. She constantly struggled to contain herself, deep down she knew she would always be that action-reaction kindergartner. Rose had known that; that Amethyst's upbringing or lack of it meant that she couldn't really mother Steven like Pearl or Garnet could.
All Rose had asked was: 'Just be there for him. You don't need to be a mom or anything like that. Be his friend. His big sister. Protect him from the world, like we protected you. Show him the world in your own way-that's all I ask. Love him in your own special way Amethyst.'
Amethyst could do that. She would do that for Rose. And she would do it for Steven.
"Pearl, you should give him back to Greg." Garnet said suddenly, making them all jump.
"Why?"
"He's about to poop."
"UGHWA!" Pearl quickly handed him to Greg and scooted over to Garnet. She wrapped her pale arms around Garnet's and hugged her tightly.
"Hahaha!" Amethyst snickered. "Pearl's afraid of pooooooop!"
"I am not!" Pearl growled. "I just don't want him to defecate on me."
"Scaredy cat!" Amethyst stuck her tongue out.
"Greg, we're going to work on the house now. Amethyst help me get the wood off of the van. Pearl, you should probably learn how to change a diaper again."
Pearl got off the van with a huff. "I understand the general steps. Why do I have to watch again?"
"Because, someone will need to know how. Who better to teach us how to do it, then you?" Garnet asked, flinging Amethyst onto the roof with one hand. Amethyst giggled, chewing at the ropes.
"I suppose you have a good point, Garnet." Pearl muttered, crossing her arms as she approached Greg and Steven. "Greg may I have a clothespin?"
Amethyst was really starting to like this kid. She could get used to this-her new family.
I always was fond of the idea that Amethyst was alone in that kindergarten for really long time, so I couldn't resist.
A/N: Sorry I'm rather late with this one. My Stepdad 'fixed' my computer, which meant that I didn't have access to Word or the Internet for a few days. Thank you for reading! I really want to say thanks to all the people who favorite and follow, and especially who take the time to review. Hopefully, if my computer doesn't need more 'fixing', I'll be able to post more this week.