Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Twilight Series

7

Confessing

I had spent two too many days alone in my room. Someone - likely Leah or Sam - had told everyone in the pack to give me the space I needed. I wondered over and over again how Quil was coping.

And then I would remember that none of it was real. I forced Quil from my mind, which turned out to be the most exhausting thing I ever had to do. I was done with the headaches and the stuffy air and the crying.

I needed to get out of this house. Embry always left his truck around with the keys. I took it as an invitation to go and do something.

One of the least relaxing places in all of Forks - the cliffs at the beach, was where I decided to kick back this particular day. The whole sky was gray, on the edge of what might've been rain, though it usually never did this time of year. My feet dangled over the edge, feeling the rocks jab into my legs as the swung in the air. I breathed in the salty air very deeply, enjoying the noisy silence as I thought the last couple of days over.

It was very early in the morning. If you could see the sun, it would just be coming up over the ocean. The air was on the chilly side, but nothing that I couldn't handle. I sat on top of the tallest cliff, waxing and waxing and waxing my board, letting my mind running over and over again.

The more I tried not to think about him, the more I did.

Quil...

Quil had been apart of my life for a very long time, and now he wasn't there. It my fault that he wasn't around. I didn't want him around, but I missed him so much. But every time I thought about missing him, I thought about imprinting.

I shook my head, trying my best to leave those thoughts behind. I hopped up, bringing myself and my board back down the path to go do a little bit of surfing. As soon as my board slapped against the water, I felt unsettled.

The water was colder than I thought. The waves were rougher than I thought. My arms were tired, my brain was tired. I felt very off.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I usually couldn't form a thought when up on that board, but the thoughts about the incredibly stressful last couple days never left my mind. It was hard to focus. I simply didn't have any focus. I slipped up. I missed my opportunity to ride out the wave. I'd gone too far in - too close to the cliffs. Now it was all rock. I slipped up, and then I slipped off.

The nose of my board dipped down into the water, launching me forward into the dark waves. Water filled my lungs instantly as I felt my body whip around violently in all kind of directions. Finally, I surfaced, watching a monstrous wave growing in the distance. It knocked into me, taking everything out of my body. When I surfaced again, the adrenaline in my body pumped and all my energy and strength went to my arms and legs. I swam as hard as I possibly could until I felt my feet kick against the sand and then my knees. I crawled onto the beach, letting myself cough and trying to get out all the terribly tasting water in my lungs.

Holy shit.

I took a deep breath, crawling further away from the water and lying down in the sand. I felt the sting in my arm as grains of sand entered an open gash that I hadn't noticed. The side of my right arm was split open, revealing the dark colour of my blood. It looked mildly deep, teetering on the edge of whether stitches were necessary or not. Now that I had noticed it, it hurt very badly.

Whatever rock I barely scraped up against cut though my wetsuit and through a part of my arm. I was lucky. I was lucky it wasn't a major artery. I was lucky it wasn't my head. I was really, really lucky.

After a couple dozen minutes of recuperating, I managed to make my way back to Embry's truck. When I got there, I tossed my board in the back and I tried delicately to peel off my wetsuit. I tossed that in the back, knowing that now it was no good. I hopped in the front and started the old truck, searching in the glove box for anything to help. There was a small, old-looking roll of gauze, which was the only thing that would have to do.

I braided my hair back away from my face and wrapped my upper arm the best I could with the one hand I had. After that, I took another deep breath and I started to drive back into Forks, to the hospital.

I had fallen of my bike, I had fallen off my board, I had fallen off my wagon. I was out of my mind and in my mind too much at the same time. I couldn't do anything right. I felt uneasy all the time.

Life just seemed to get more and more stressful, the hospital being no exception.

"Yeah." The doctor dropped my arm, returning to her clipboard, pursing her lips. She looked unimpressed, either with the gash or with me, I was unsure. "It's gonna need something."

"What does something mean?" I held tightly onto the edge of the hospital bed, legs swinging around in the air.

"We could do stitches, but we might not even need that..." She looked at my arm once again. She was short and incredibly thin, with a skinny face that came to a point. Her fingers were long and he eyes were harsh, but she seemed good at her job. "Skin glue could work."

"Skin..." My brows furrowed. "Glue?"

"It's a medical-grade adhesive. It'll do the job just fine." She let her clipboard fall down to her side as she sighed, glancing at the doorway. "Where is your parent or guardian?"

That was the worst part. When they asked if there was anyone I could call, I could really only think of one person. As much as I wanted that one person to not pick up their phone, they still did.

I looked at the doorway. "Uh, well -"

Perfect timing.

Leah walked through the doorway, pyjamas on, sporting a very mean look on her face. Her hair was sticking up in the back and her feet dragged on the floor. She looked very tired. It was still very early. And very angry, which I wasn't at all surprised at. She walked over to my bedside. "What happened?"

"I grazed up against a rock after wiping out on my board."

"Are you okay?" She asked. She was looking at me. She could see that I was awake, coherent, and mostly totally fine. She didn't seem concerned, just angered.

"I'm fine. I just have a cut on my arm, that's all."

"Oh, good," Leah said to me. Immediately, her arm reached up and she smacked the back of my head. After my neck jolted forward, I looked up at her and awaited what she needed to say. "What were you thinking? Going out to surf without telling anyone? And in this weather, Claire? And this early? Honestly -" She breathed out heavily, falling down into the chair against the wall. Her head fell into her hands. "What is going on with you?" She looked up at me, showing me a look I rarely saw. I instantly felt terrible for everything I had done. Leah glanced at the doctor, dialling back the personal stuff for the moment. "What's going to happen?"

"A form of stitches," the doctor said. "Skin glue."

"Skin..." Her brows furrowed. "Glue?"

"That's correct."

Leah shook her head. "Okay." She stood, rubbing her eyes and then crossing her arms over her chest. "How expensive?"

"It'll be around two-hundred dollars. Three-hundred with the antibiotics."

I nodded at the doctor, eyes trained on her tall and skinny figure - anything to be able to avoid Leah's burning gaze. I knew the heat that I felt was coming off of her. All of the anger and frustration - it was all Leah.

After the doctor did her doctor thing, to which Leah glared at me the entire time, Leah and I found ourselves in the car, me reading from the sheet of paper the doctor had given me.

"The glue should peel off within five to seven days," I read, moving to the next bullet point. "The scar should take six months to fade." I sighed, folding the paper and holding it out to Leah. "Here."

She took it from my hands forcefully, tucking it into the pocket of her sweater. "You're grounded, if it wasn't very obvious."

"Why?" I knew it was irrational to be angry with Leah. I knew that. She got up very early in the morning to come pick me up from the hospital, as well as pay for my arm to be better, and she hadn't yelled at me up until that point. But I was still upset. "It's not my fault that waves were rough."

"No, it isn't, but it's your responsibly to use that fact to make appropriate decisions." Leah was firm in her voice, just like she always was. She decided to look over at me at the exact moment that I rolled my eyes. "Really? That is how you're going to act?"

I shook my head, shrugging. I honestly had no idea what to say to Leah to calm her down, though I knew that was not ever a possibility. "I don't know what to say, Leah." I scoffed, looking out the window. "I'm not a kid."

"Well, you're sure acting like one!" Leah yelled. She sighed. I imagined her shaking her head. "I know it's hard, kiddo, but it's no reason to act out. We were all expecting for you feelings to become obvious eventually, but we didn't expect this reaction."

"How do you want me to react?" I looked at her, waiting for her to say anything at all. "You're trying to tell me that it's real but I see the look on your face, Leah. You don't think it is either."

She just stared at the road ahead of her, not saying anything.

I undid my seatbelt, opening the car door, making Leah slam on the brakes and yell at me. I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I knew Leah and I knew she would just drive away and let me be, which she did. I was thankful for at least that.

She knew I knew where I was. I knew Forks like the back of my hand, and the back of my hand was going to lead me to the only two people I knew that weren't wrapped up in this confusing, heartbreaking world I was surrounded by.

We were sitting in the dimly lit cabin - Kato, Anna, and I. The three of us strewn throughout the space. Kato was on the couch, Anna sprawled out on the carpet, and I, sitting on the floor, legs crossed, bong sitting in front of me.

The cabin was essentially just a big square. It was very tiny, but big enough for a compact kitchen, a small table with a couple chairs and two couches, which sat on the edge of the big, tribal carpet in the center of the room. It was just a place where we could be, away from their place, my place, and everyone else.

I passed the bong along, making sure Anna had a firm grip before I let go. I leaned back, letting my back hit the couch. I looked up at the wooden ceiling. I never imagined myself in this cabin, in this state of mind, doing this with Kato and Anna.

I just remembered smoking weed and the feeling of thinking so many things and not being able to remember or logically put things together, which sounded so perfect to me at that moment - that moment where I couldn't turn my brain off for the life of me, where I couldn't stop thinking.

"Where's the party tonight?"

"It's at Caleb's," Kato said loudly. "That dumbass is having a party of a Sunday night."

I laughed at the two of them. "Doesn't that make you guys dumb for going?"

Anna sat up quickly, pointing a stern finger at me. She smiled widely. "We are dumb for going." She left the bong to crawl over to me, sitting down beside me and pressing her body into mine. "We're all going."

I liked Kato and Anna enough but I really didn't feel like going to a party. Especially not when I had to work early in the morning.

"The problem is -" Kato sat up too, looking at Anna first and then looking at me. "The party is not for another couple hours. What do we do to fill the time, ladies?"

There was no hesitation for both of them to turn and look at me. Their eyes were vacant, yet intense. The redness surrounding their brown irises made them all the more intense.

Anna reached out, first running her thumb over the scrape on my cheek and then along my eyebrow. "What to you think, Kato? Eyebrow?"

Kato pretended to think, leaving me incredibly confused. "Maybe lip?"

Anna's finger fell down to my lips. I wrapped my hand around her hand, pulling it away from my face. I looked between the two of them, the nervousness growing as I thought more and more of what they were capable of. "What are you guys talking about?"

Things moved incredibly quickly from there. Kato and Anna were quick to rush me into the bathroom, with not too much of en explanation. I was too nervous, to scared, and not brave enough to say anything to stop them. Besides, I had always wanted a nose piercing.

Anna dabbed a cotton swab soaked in rubbing alcohol on my nose roughly. She held her hand out behind her head, waggling her fingers. "Needle, Kato."

What was I thinking? I never wanted a nose piercing.

"Hey, guys."

Anna brought the needle up to my nose, barely glancing at me. "On three, okay, Claire-y."

"Okay, but -"

"One, two -"

"Ow!" The intensely centered pain was shocking on the count of two rather than three. I immediately pushed Anna away, opening my eyes to glare at her. "Anna!"

Both of them laughed, Kato moving around Anna took take my face in my hands, turning it side to side. "You might be too sweet for it, Claire-uh." He stopped examining my face to look me in the eyes. "Your face is too sweet."

"Shut up, Kato." Anna pushed him out of the way, smiling at me. "She just needs another piercing to even them out."

"No!" I shook my head quickly, feeling the counter jab into my back as I moved away from the two of them.

"Relax, C," Kato said, in his deep and scratchy voice. "We just have to put the piercing in and then you're all set, all right?"

Why did I let that happen? I had regretted it the moment they suggested the idea, though it was less of a suggestion and more of a command. I hadn't thought it over too much until Anna had the needle in her very dangerous hands.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, Anna was standing behind me, pushing my long, dark hair over my shoulders and telling me how pretty I was. The small gold hoop now sticking out of was nose looked quite dumb, if I was being honest. I didn't like it, but I wasn't about to take it out of my nose in front of the two of them.

And then we went to Caleb's house, where the air was hot and the music was loud and everyone was drunk or high or inebriated in some way.

Everyone looked like they were having fun - a genuinely good time. The more Kato, Anna and I walked around and talked, the more I wished I was home cooking dinner with Leah, or listening the Seth talk about his wonderful girlfriend, or watching a movie with Quil.

I was sitting on the couch, playing with my new nose piercing when Anna fell into my lap, wrapping her arms around me. Her face was very close to mine as she leaned in and whispered, "Don't play with it. It's gonna get infected."

I looked at her, every second just making me wish I was home. "Anna, do you think you or Kato could take me home?"

"Awe, no," Anna drawled, tucking my hair behind my ear. She pouted for a small second. "Stay, Claire." She smiled wickedly, the alcohol on her breath becoming more apparent the closer she got. She got too close and then she pressed her lips against mine.

"No, Anna." I jerked away, looking at her with widened eyes. "What are you doing."

She played with my hair, completely unfazed by what had just happened. "You just seem so sad, Claire. I just want you to have so fun."

I sighed, blinking slowly, giving myself any time at all to gather my thoughts. "Anna, I really want to go home."

Anna, to my surprise, softened up, moving out of my lap to stand. She held out her hand, pulling me off the couch and to the door. "I haven't had anything to drink yet. I can take you home."

I felt the coolness of the air as I watched Anna's dad's truck come into view. "You're allowed to drive the truck?"

"What everyone doesn't know won't hurt them." She walked confidently toward the truck, waiting until I climbed inside the start the thing. She put the truck into drive, pulling out of the driveway. "I'm sorry for kissing you, Claire."

I could feel myself start to blush at the very fresh, very vivid memory. "That's okay, Anna."

"I don't want Quil to come give me a talking to either, so let him know I apologized."

I simply laughed. "Why would you say that? You know Quil and I aren't together."

Anna looked over at me, eyebrow raised. "Yeah, right." She shook her head, looking out at the road ahead of her, smiling widely. "I have never two people so in love in my entire life. Honestly, Claire, you don't see it? The dude looks at you like you're his life."

Because he imprinted on me. Because he had no choice.

"Yeah," I replied, rolling down the window to catch the fresh air. That's all I had, immediately sucked back into my mind to overthink everything. Apparently Anna didn't have anything either because the rest of the ride was silent.

And when I got home, everything surrounding the house seemed just as silent. When Anna's dad's truck faded into the distance, I turned and looked at the house - at the surrounding trees and flowers. I had only been away for a day, but I missed the house.

I opened the front door to the darkened place, taking a harsh intake of breath when the lights came on. "Sweet jesus!"

"Claire!" A blur that looked a lot like Seth came rushing toward me, wrapping me up into a tight hug. "You're okay."

I could see Leah over his shoulder, sitting on the arm of the couch, looking incredibly relieved but stiff, arms crossed, mouth tight. I focused on Seth, hugging him back. "Yeah, I'm fine. What -"

Leah stood, walking over to the two of us. "You didn't think to call and say that you would be out late? After you practically jumped from the truck earlier?"

"I -"

Leah stared at me, arms still crossed, mouth still tight. "Seth, go to your room."

It would be typical of Seth to argue, though he didn't. He put a hand on my shoulder, offering a light squeeze before disappearing down the dark hallway. That left me and Leah in the dim living room/kitchen. I wasn't ready for this.

She took another step closer, brows furrowing, eyes stuck on my nose. "What is -" She saw the distinct gold hoop, steam coming out of her nose. "Take that thing out of your face right now."

I finally let out the breath I was holding, walking around her. "I was gonna take it out anyway." I made my way to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and reaching up to figure out the best way to go about it. I glanced at Leah in the doorway, arms still crossed. "What?"

"Do you have any idea how worried we have been?"

I pulled the nose ring out slowly, setting it down on the counter. "I don't know what to fuckin' tell you, Leah."

She grabbed my arm, yanking me to face her. Her hand was strong and her face was strong, sticking to a angry-shocked expression. "What has gotten into you? Hospitals and piercings and attitude -" Her eyebrows rose. "And you reek of weed."

I was so exhausted; exhausted from the whole night, from the whole day, from the past couple of days. I didn't want to argue. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to sleep. "Leah, please, can I just sleep?"

"No!" She was yelling now. "You're not going anywhere until you can explain to me why you've adopted this shit attitude!"

"I just found out everything I thought was my life actually isn't!" I didn't want to scream, but it just came out, which made the following silence all the more painful. "And I don't know how to cope. Quil..." My brows furrowed, hoping and praying that the tears pooling in my eyes wouldn't spill over. "It's unfair, Leah. It's unfair to him and it's unfair to me. I just wish -" I swallowed the tears back. "I just wish it was real."

"It's real."

I shook my head. "Nice try, Lee."

Leah sighed loudly, taking her small, but strong hands and placing them on my shoulders to move me back. She closed the door, leaning against it, shrinking away from me in a way I had never seen. "It's real, Claire. As much as I wish it wasn't, it is."

My brows furrowed, becoming alarmed at how Leah was acting - sad, defeated, and vulnerable. Three things I rarely had seen her be over the eighteen years of my life. "Leah, what's going on?"

She looked at me with tired, sad eyes and she told me something I had never known. She explained. "Sam and I started dating freshman year of high school. We dated for three years and I fell so -" She paused, looking over my head for a moment and then back to me. "And then he went away and I didn't understand why, and when he came back, he was different. I didn't understand at the time that he had shifted for the first time , but he did. Everything went back to normal for a little while and then Emily came to La Push to visit and...and Sam imprinted on her."

My heart sank. The pain in her voice, the look on her face. "Leah..."

"I was so angry when Sam broke up with me. I wanted Emily to reject him. I wanted them not to be together so bad because - because Sam had never looked at me the way he looked at Emily - the way he looks at Emily." Leah became less upset, adapting a more factual and cold exterior - her usual. "I was angry for a really long time. And when I found out about imprinting, I told myself it wasn't real. I told myself that Sam would come back to me." She sighed. "It took me a really long time to get over it, and even after all this time I question whether it's real because I have never experienced imprinting." She licked her lips quickly, eyes coming to meet mine. "But then I see the way Sam and Emily look at each other - the way Seth and Tara look at each other, the way Embry and Danielle look at each other." She smiled the slightest bit. "The way Quil looks at you, and it makes me wonder how I ever could've doubted it in the first place."

Leah - the cynic of all cynics - was standing in front of me, pouring her whole, entire heart out to me, telling me that imprinting was real.

"But -"

Leah stepped forward, placing her hands on my arms, shaking her head. "But nothing. Quil loves you, Claire, in the most genuine, real way. He's completely happy with how his life has gone 'cause you've been in it. He's made it clear that he would go back and do it this way over and over and over again if he had to. He wouldn't change his life for the entire world, Claire. He's not stuck. He's happy."

"Leah..." I wrapped my arms around her tightly, her hard and muscular body quickly turning soft and comforting as she returned the gesture. "Leah, I didn't know about - I didn't know that Sam - I - I'm sorry."

She squeezed me tightly, breathing into my hair. "It was a really long time ago. I'm just glad I can tell you about it now and use it as a lesson." She leaned away. "You should understand that Quil -" She tilted her head, eye shifting to the front of the house. "Quil."

"What?"

"Quil came by for you and we told him that we couldn't find you, so he went looking for you and now he's back." Leah opened the door to the bathroom, moving into the hallway as I heard the front door slam.

"She's not a Sam's. She's not anywhere, Leah, I don't -"

I came into the hallway, looking at Quil at the end of the hallway. He looked so desperately worried that it hurt me. And the instant and heavy relief that fell on him when he saw me was heartbreaking.

Every moment that I had spent avoiding thinking about Quil or talking about Quil or simply avoiding Quil himself seemed so idiotic. I hadn't realized until I was looking at him right then and there how much I had missed him.

His shoulders fell slightly, letting out a breath of pure relief. "Claire."

"Quil." I ran past Leah, holding my arms open as I quickened my pace to get to Quil. I got a couple feet from him before he placed his big hands on me, yanking me towards him and wrapping his warm arms around me. I sighed into his chest, all the unsettling feelings I had finally settling.

He pushed me away from him, one hand of his hands on my shoulder, the other on my face. "Claire -" His eyes darted up over my head, looking at Leah.

I didn't look back, but I pictured Leah backing into the hallway. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Quil's eyes came back to mine - soft and brown and far more forgiving than I deserved. "Claire, I was so worried about you and I -"

"Quil," I interrupted, reaching up to pull his hand away from my face. I took a step away from him, nodding toward the hallway. "Let's go to my room, okay?" I held out my hand for him to take, which he did, letting me lead him down the hallway into my bedroom. He walked into the room, standing at the edge of my bed while I stood by the door.

"Claire?"

I turned around, looking him over - his tall, muscular, warm, safe frame. His curls were messy on top of his head and his face was all concern and nothing else. "Quil, I'm sorry for worrying you tonight, and I'm sorry for avoiding you these past couple of days."

"It's fine." He was too forgiving. I didn't deserve it, but he was willing to give it out anyway. He looked like he was relaxing a little bit. "Sam told me that he told you about imprinting as soon as he did. He told me about your reaction, Claire, which...I understand."

He's the only person that ever understood completely.

My brows furrowed in an attempt not to cry. "Why did you never tell me?"

Quil took a big step forward. "I did want to." And then he took a smell step back, sensing that I needed the distance to be able to have this conversation. "I wanted to tell you for so long, but Sam said that I should wait until..." He sucked in a breath, looking a little empty in the eyes as he recalled a memory.

I shrugged. "Until what?"

"Until you showed...a romantic love for me," Quil said, ever so softly, making a shiver run down my spine. "Something more than a friendship. I was supposed to wait until you took things to the next stage."

"I did and you still didn't tell me." Now I was confused. After I kissed Quil...still, no one mentioned anything.

"I didn't tell anyone." Quil shook his head, now seeing how irrational that was. He stuttered for a moment and then he said, "I thought that moment was never going to come. I convinced myself that you would never see me that way and I was becoming comfortable with the fact that you would be with someone else." The words were strained - 'be with someone else'. "And then you kissed me and I didn't know what to think. I told myself that you were confused, unsure, or experimenting - I didn't know, and I didn't know if you really felt that way for me. And then you told Sam..."

"And then Sam told me."

"Claire -" Again, he went to take a step forward, but he didn't. He held back. Why was he still holding back? "Claire, you need to understand that, however you feel, I will always love you. I will always be here for you." His lips parted after being pressed tightly together. "You're my soulmate, Claire. I'll be whatever you want me to be."

"I don't want you to have to do that." I hated hearing that. I started feeling the tears come on, but I still stayed close to the door, unmoving. "I don't want you to have to live your life always concerned with me. It feels so trapped, Quil. I feel like the worst person in the world for doing this to you!" I sobbed, covering my mouth over with my hand. Quil rushed toward me, ready to wrap me up in an embrace, but I held out my hand, signalling for him not to move.

"It doesn't feel that way for me."

"How would you know any different? You get stuck with someone and the world tells you that you're happy about it!" I shook my head, feeling lost all over again. "Wouldn't you rather have that freedom to choose?"

"No!" Quil's voice was getting loud, which it often never did unless he was passionate about something. "No, I don't care about that, Claire! I don't need to choose. The universe brought me to you, and that's good enough for me. My soul is bound to yours and I couldn't be happier about it."

I felt the pain in my chest. "If you hadn't of imprinted on me, you would be standing here having this exact conversation, saying these exact things to a whole different person, Quil - a whole different girl."

Quil shook his head. "No. I can't imagine my imprintee being anyone but you."

"Because you were never given a choice to think otherwise."

He shook his head again, harder that time, curls shaking. The redness came to his face, his lips pressed against each other. "I don't know how else to convince you, Claire. I thought of this moment so differently. I didn't think it would be this hard to convince you that I love you." He finally looked defeated. "I love you, Claire."

I love you.

It was the least uncommon thing for Quil and I to say to each other. But standing there, in front of him then, every word, every syllable was heavier and held more meaning than I ever heard before.

"You're my life, Claire. I love you." His voice was soft and quiet, just like it usually was. "I wouldn't change this life for any other life because get you. The universe doesn't need to tell me anything, because I know in my heart and soul that, with everything I am, I love you."

It didn't feel rehearsed, but it felt very true. He spoke confidently and firmly, as if he really and truly believed and felt what he was saying. I thought back to Leah, the one person in this world who found the negative in everything, telling me about how imprinting was the realest love she had ever seen. Leah's confession, along with the look on Quil's face, was enough to convince me.

He breathed heavily, looking exhausted, defeated, and like he just wanted to touch me. "I love you, Claire."

A big breath came out of my mouth, body relaxing into the doorway. I looked up at him, eyes sore from all the crying I had previously done. I felt the relief wash over me in the heaviest, most dramatic fashion. "I love you too, Quil, so much."

He let himself step closer. His eyes were wide and hopeful and his hands looked eager to reach out. "Like a -"

"Romantic love, Quil." I chuckled as he stepped closer. My laugh made him laugh as he reached out and put his hands on the sides of my face, bring our lips together in a short, soft and sweet kiss.

He pulled away, a sexy smile on his lips. "Oh, Claire." His arms wrapped around me and he brushed his nose against mine. He backed away a little bit further, eyes boring into mine. "This was a bit closer to how I pictured it."

I laughed, hand sliding over his pecs and torso, feeling the softness of his tanned skin. I smiled up at him, feeling the exact same love that I had always felt between us - it was just that small bit more special.

The room was quiet, blinds wide open to let the moonlight in on the weirdly clear night. It was lighting every strand of Quil's curly hair, making it almost irresistible.

I reached up, running my hands through his hair. Quil closed his eyes and hummed, sighing. He tilted his head back, exposing his perfectly smooth, thick neck to me. My arms slid around his torso, both hands splayed across his back, nails digging in slightly to bring him closer to me so that I could easily push up on my tip toes and press my lips to the side of his neck, just above his collarbone.

Quil's head snapped down to me, eyes slightly widened at the bold move.

I stared up at him, pressing my body into his. "Quil, I -" I felt heat all over my body; my face, my hands, my stomach, even my toes. The heat was everywhere. My heart was pounding so hard, the sound echoed in my eyes. I watched him watch me and then I couldn't resist.

I lurched forward, throwing both my arms around his neck, the momentum of my body crashing into his, causing him the fall back onto the bed. I didn't waste any time crawling on top of him. Though my movements were fast, my kisses were slower. Our tongues touched as I pressed into him. A growl surfaced from the back of Quil's throat as he spun us around and pinned me down pushing me into the soft mattress.

Finally. Finally, he was allowing himself to kiss me and touch me and do what we both wanted. It was like a gate had opened. And I never wanted it to close ever again.

The old pyjama shirt I was wearing was not my favourite, but it still shocked me when Quil's hands gripped the collar, yanking hard and ripping the shirt all the way down the middle.

He was so strong. So intense. So passionate. I had never seen him that way. He didn't have a gentle touch anymore. I almost didn't recognize him for a split second, but then his soft and gentle hands pushed and pulled the shirt until it was off my body, careful not to twist or pull my arms in any way.

And so there I was, lying beneath him, in just my panties and nothing else. Quil looked over my body - my breasts - and then he looked back into my eyes, leaning down again and kissing me.

My hands ran through his hair and then his neck and then back. Eventually my hands found the back of the top of his jeans. I moved my hands around to the front, unbuttoning the button. I knew he didn't have any underwear on underneath. I unzipped the zipper, trying to tug the jean cut-offs down as far as I could reach. Quil got off of me, standing at the end of the bed. He pulled his pants down, allowing a full view for me to see. He then reached forward, gripping the top of my panties and pulling them down slowly.

I felt very exposed, but not uncomfortable. Quil seemed to feel the same. He crawled over me again, kissing me gently. I felt every part of him - bare on bare. He positioned himself between my legs, eyes connecting with mine.

"Tell me you're sure," he said. "Or tell me to stop."

I smiled lightly. "I've never been so sure of anything, Quil," I told him, craning my neck up to make my lips meet his. I felt him against me and then -

My mouth opened against him as I gasped. My fingers dug into his back, the intense, slow feeling was a sensation I had never felt before in my life. He moved his hips backward and then forward again. I moaned loudly without thinking. I couldn't hold anything in. I couldn't focus on any other feeling other than just the one.

"Talk to me," he said, a little breathless.

"I'm okay," I said quickly, feeling the warmth all over my body. I nodded, giving him a reassuring look. "I'm good."

He nodded too, leaning down to kiss me again as he moved his hips forward and backward, picking up the pace everyone couple of seconds or so. My hands ran up and down his back and down to his butt, encouraging his hips.

He pushed against my left leg, and I bent it, letting my knee come up and closer to my chest, allowing the feeling of us together to intensify greatly. His hand slid over my leg and up my side. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, letting our faces come together, and for our lips to connect.

He was strong, but gentle, but everything Emily said was all making sense. It was the most intense feeling I had ever felt. Quil couldn't help but to not hold back. Both of us started to glisten from sweat. The heat inside my body was nearly unbearable, especially with him so close to me.

But even with all that - it was amazing. That was the best word to describe it, really; amazing. I couldn't think of another word that fit better. Maybe perfect. Maybe incredible. Amazing fit best.