"Steven, what are you doing?" Amethyst sat up in the sink and noticed Steven staring hard at the warp pad. She's sitting in the sink because she was supposed to be doing the dishes, but at some point during Steven's nap, she had fallen asleep herself. She had woken up ten minutes ago, a bottle of neon soap on her chest and her butt soaked in soapy water.
He must've just woken from his nap too, because his diaper was sagging quite terribly and his hair looked as though he had been through a wind tunnel. He rubbed at his belly and turned toward her sleepily.
"Where Gawnet?" Steven grunted, his voice hoarse with drowsiness.
"Garnet and Pearl are on a mission remember? They'll be back soon."
"No! Gawnet now!" Steven stomped his tiny feet, frowning terribly.
"Dude, it's not like I can just make her appear. She'll get here when she gets here." Amethyst yawned enormously and stretched with a groan.
Steven groaned loudly and stomped back to the little pad Pearl had prepared for his nap and fell face-first on to it. It had been a neat, folded nest of comforters and pillows, but not too soon after Pearl and Garnet had left - Steven and Amethyst may have had a blanket fight. He grabbed Sir Bearington and began to kick his tiny feet angrily.
"What's up with you?" Amethyst asked, sitting up from the cold water in the sink and observing him more closely. "You need me to change your diapie or something?"
Steven only kicked his legs harder.
"I'm taking that as a yes." Amethyst groaned, hopping down and heading to the changing supplies Pearl kept upstairs. Her boots squeaked as she walked along the hard wood floor and she plopped down onto the blankets. She flipped Steven over and was preparing to remove the diaper in question, but Steven squealed angrily.
"No! No! No!" He screeched, clumsily standing up and stomping away rather dramatically.
"Duuuuude! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the mat." Amethyst grunted, throwing the diaper onto the couch. Steven then proceeded to stomp around the living room until he ended up back in front of Amethyst. He was sucking his thumb now, breathing heavily and grunting.
"Gawnet." He said through his thumb, glaring quite impressively at her.
"What did I just say?"
"Misson." He grunted with a whine.
"So she's not going to be back for a while."
"Pel?" Steven asked, rubbing at his eye and getting slobber all over his face. Amethyst winced and grabbed a blanket to wipe it off. That seemed to only irritate Steven further because he whined and ran off before she could finish.
"Pearl's on the mission too!" Amethyst called, sighing and running her hand through her hair.
What was with this kid? He had been more than amicable during this morning and lunchtime. He had been a ball of smiles, laughs and eager for physical affection. Steven had been a tad upset when Garnet and Pearl had needed to go, but had been more than happy to eat his lunch with her. He had even gone down for his nap rather easily-not even engaging in a high speed chase.
But now he had completely transformed. If this was that 'terrible twos' thing Greg had been talking about, she wasn't sure she was going to make it to age three.
For an entire hour and a half, Steven had been entirely upset and nothing Amethyst tried seemed to satisfy him. He had thrown two tantrums, seemingly not accepting that Garnet and Pearl weren't back yet. He had hit his head on the second tantrum on the guard corner thing Pearl had put on the coffee table, resulting in an even longer crying fit, that ended up mostly in snot and an even more inconsolable Steven. He had been asking for hugs and then quick to escape her arms. Even a nice bottle of milk didn't seem to help, he had taken a quick sip and had then thrown it under the couch with a wet hiccup.
"Annnnugggggggh!" Steven wailed, jumping up and down while crying, hanging to the edges of the coffee table. He had turned red and had practically soaked his shirt in tears and snot.
"I don't know what's wrong!" Amethyst yelled at him. "Why are you acting so weird?"
Steven didn't seem to have an answer or if he did he didn't have the words to explain it. That seemed to only further distress him, which in turn caused even further dramatic antics. He eventually tired himself out and ended up face planting in Amethyst's lap. Still whimpering, but at least a lot quieter than before.
Amethyst stroked his back, patting when the whimpers grew and resumed rubbing his back when they died down. He wasn't hot or sweaty, there weren't any abrasions or bruises that she could see (other than the recent one). She had checked his diaper and he was free of any rashes and he wasn't wet or dirty. She had absolutely no idea what was wrong.
It wasn't like she usually did though. She may have been the youngest crystal gem, but she certainly didn't speak toddler. If Steven wanted something, if it wasn't related to food or diapers - she was the last one to know. Pearl was the best at figuring out what he wanted - if Amethyst hadn't known any better sometimes she would think Pearl knew what he needed before he did. Garnet had future vision, so she really didn't even count, but nine time out of ten simply being in Garnet's arms was enough to calm Steven down.
Amethyst was good with the fun stuff. She could always make Steven laugh, hands down it was totally her thing. But she sucked when he was upset. He didn't cry her name or ask for her hugs or run behind her when he was scared. He only did that with Pearl and Garnet and Greg.
"You know," Amethyst whispered, her voice nearly inaudible. "I-I promised Rose I would protect you too. I thought I was doing a good job, but…"
She hadn't promised Rose she would be good at this. She had been very blunt in telling Rose that she wasn't made out to be motherly or whatever babies needed. Rose had been so certain though - 'That won't matter, my little one. You'll be extraordinary at whatever you become to him. I promise.'
How did Rose always sound so sure, so confident that you couldn't help but be surer in yourself than ever before? In that moment, long before Rose had disappeared and left them alone, she had been confident in her lack-luster abilities. Then Rose had gone and Amethyst found herself constantly wondering if perhaps something was wrong with her.
Why couldn't she understand him like the others could? Why was she more than often the source of his tiny startles or fear rather than protecting him? She loved him and just wanted for him to have fun with her, but most of their fun activities were apparently 'dangerous' and 'unsuitable for toddlers' (Pearl's words not hers). It sometimes felt like there wasn't anything she could do right for her favorite guy.
The warp pad activated and Steven flinched awake. He sat up sluggishly, turning around on Amethyst's lap and watched as Garnet and Pearl arrived.
"Took you long enough!" Amethyst groaned, sitting up a wiggly Steven and watching as he waddled fretfully to Garnet.
"What are you talking about?" Pearl asked. Steven had only needed to whimper once before he was suddenly in Garnet's arms. He nuzzled into Garnet's neck with a thick sniffle. Amethyst felt something inside her cringe a little at how Garnet had known exactly what to do with such a little noise.
"'Oh…Amethyst, we'll only be a short while.'" Amethyst mocked, doing her best to emulate Pearl's particularly perfect enunciation. An ugly feeling in the pit of her being had awakened and the more Pearl spoke so naggingly and the longer Garnet's arms seemed to soothe Steven, the larger and angrier the feeling became.
"We were a short while." Pearl glared. "And why is Steven's room a mess?"
"Cause you were late!" Amethyst snapped, lying down with a frustrated groan. She wanted to ruin the room further, really show Pearl what a mess looked like. If only to make Pearl feel as awful as she did.
"Seeing as it that we didn't specify a time in which we were going to return, it is quite impossible for us to have been late." Pearl growls about to step towards Amethyst and further their argument. But a sudden keening wail from Steven stops her in her tracks. Amethyst wilts a little at the cry, resisting the urge to cover her ears or egg Pearl on to continue their little spar.
"What's the matter, Steven?" Garnet asks, bouncing him up and down in her arms. He only wails again, sticking his fingers into his mouth as his voice shuddered.
"Amethyst, what happened to his head?" Pearl gasps, lightly brushing back Steven's curls to reveal the violet bruise growing in color on the side of Steven's temple.
"He hit his head." Amethyst grunted, wanting to tear her hair out. She could hear it coming already. It had happened too many times to not already have her hunching over, bracing for the impact of the words even before they hit.
"Why weren't you watching him?"
So familiar they didn't even really hurt too much anymore. She had flinched the first few times, guilt nibbling away at her insides, but now she had learned to roll her shoulders and eyes. The accusations stung some but usually she could erase their stings if she let the fearsome burn of her anger consume her.
"I was. Watching him - you know like I promised." Amethyst growled, sitting up, looking towards the dying sunset. It was a rather ugly sunset, so orange that it burned your eyes even if you closed them shut. If Steven hadn't been in the room, she might've had a rather rude hand gesture for this stupid, ugly sunset.
"Then why is he crying?" Pearl asked accusatorily, hands on her hips, even more irritated that Amethyst wasn't looking at her. "You always do this! I told you to watch him carefully, were you eve-."
"I DON'T KNOW WHY! WHY DON'T YOU AND GARNET FIGURE IT ALL OUT?!" Amethyst yelled, rubbing the heels of her palms roughly against her eyes. She tells herself it isn't because there are tears trying to escape, but because the horridness of that awfully orange sunset. "I'll be in my room!"
She rushes past them, trying not to see the disappointment she knows is on their faces. The door to her room opens and closes within the same breath. She skids into a mass of junk that she's been meaning to organize (mess up further) and crawls into it.
It's mostly just junk; broken game boards, deflated beach balls, antique gem trinkets, several rocks she snuck from the kindergarten, cups, cutlery, gold coins, and clothes she'll never ever wear. Altogether, clumped up in a humongous pile, they look like a mess. Whenever Pearl looks at it - which is rare because Pearl doesn't often come into her space without permission, her lips purse and her eyes squint rather unpleasantly. Her long nose wrinkles as though she's constantly battling the urge to snort in disgust or pinch it shut.
Pearl doesn't get it. Not that Amethyst needs her to.
Amethyst worms and wiggles her way through the centuries of her belongings, finding a pocket of space where she can curl in on herself. Her hair surrounds her like a blanket and if she screws her eyes as tightly as she can, it's almost as though she's back in the Kindergarten, safe in her hole again.
To Pearl it's a heap of junk, but to Amethyst it's a haven of hiding spots and dark, cluttered safety that openness and freedom have never truly been able to reciprocate.
Here in the mass of her clutter, no one can hear her cry either.
A/N: Found this ball of angst hiding away within my semi-organized mess of drabbles. If you don't know yet, the hiatus will be over soon. January 4th 2016, we're gonna have another Steven Bomb! And we're gonna see Garnet's backstory! I can't wait! As always thank you for your reviews, favorites and follows and I hope we survive what's left of this horrible hiatus.