AN: Sorry for the lapse in updates but I had to deal with a few ice storms that knocked out my power :/ but thankfully I was safe. So here is two chapters to make up for it! Oh, and next chapter has some loving so that is the reason why this got bumped up to M.

"I think you two should go on dates to places where you went before that might jog his memory," Taylor suggested, trying to be helpful.

Joss stood in her kitchen getting dinner finished with her son and mother, both seemed perfectly happy to give advice on what to do about John's memories. Her mother gaped at the diamond ring on her finger, which she had to explain why John gave Taylor the ring to hold onto with careful tweaks of the truth. Her mother didn't know that John was a badass vigilante. But the moment she told her mother that John knew the truth of their relationship the how she got the ring didn't matter because her mother had been adamant she'd tell John the truth.

Her momma beamed at Taylor. "My grandson takes just after his momma with his wit, charm, looks, and especially his intelligence."

Joss sighed, so much for Paul contributing anything to their son as her mother never forgave Paul for what happened during their marriage. "As much as I would love to take John down memory lane quite literally I don't think it will work." she remarked as she set the oven mitts aside and picked up the large knife to begin cutting into the juicy ham they were going to be having.

"Why wouldn't it work, mom?"

"If he didn't remember me after we kissed than how is where we went to for our first date going to spark one?" she questioned. Both her mother's and son's smiles dimmed as they hadn't thought of that. "But maybe instead of taking John to places we've been to together in the past we head to new places to make new memories, and maybe while doing that it might reawaken his missing ones," she thought out loud.

Both Taylor and her mother grinned mightily. "Okay, I admit mom your idea is way better." Taylor acknowledged.

Joss looked up and forced a smile but it fooled no one, especially her mother. "What's the matter, baby?" her mother asked as she moved close playing with her hair.

"It's been hard, momma. It's been really hard and as lame as it sounds I'd give this ring back if I could have John instead, and it doesn't look like he'll be coming tonight," she muttered unable to keep eye contact.

"He'll be here," her mother answered instantly. Joss smiled a little at the optimism in her mother's voice. "Sweetheart, John loves you. I don't care what kind of traumatic brain injury he endured, a love like that just doesn't get erased. He'll be here because he can't stay away."

Things grew quiet as Taylor set the table including a place setting for John as her mother went back to finishing up making the salad. While they worked Joss thought about her mother's assurance that John would be here. Joss was never the type to be optimistic but in this case maybe she'd make an exception.

A knock on the door stopped everyone as they all turned towards the sound, and then looked at each other her mother had a 'I-told-you-so' smile while her son had a hopeful grin on his handsome face. "I'll get it." Joss stated setting the knife down quickly in the sink and raced for the door.

She flung the door open and couldn't help but feel her heart melt as John stood on the opposite side in jeans and his leather bomber on. He pulled his arm out from behind him and held out an expensive bottle of wine.

"I wasn't sure what to bring." he admitted awkwardly as she took it from him and motioned him in.

Joss refused to feel disappointed that no more memories had emerged from his talk with Harold this afternoon. Instead she was happy he could join them for dinner. "Just yourself would have been fine," she assured him, though understanding how he felt. Hadn't she wondered what to wear in case he had remembered her? "But I'll never say no to wine," she teased as she smiled and he smiled back. John broke the eye contact first as he turned and removed his jacket. Her eyes raked a hungry look over his butt. "I'm glad you could make it."

He turned to face her and she let her gaze slowly wander up his body and land on his eyes. He clearly knew where she'd been looking and he slowly wandered his gaze down her body scorching her everywhere before lifting it back up to her eyes himself.

"I wouldn't miss it," he whispered lowly meaningfully.

Joss led him into the kitchen where her son and mother waited patiently, obviously exercising restraint to give her some privacy. John followed slowly. Her mother hurried over to him. John, who towered over her momma as she stood at a meager five foot stature, had to bend down to accept her hug.

"Merry Christmas, John," Alice said as she rubbed his back.

John smiled feeling more at ease, seeing Joss's mother for a second time. But this time was different now that he knew he shared a meaningful relationship with her daughter. "Merry Christmas Mrs…"

"None of that Mrs. phooey, John, we've had this conversation before though you can't remember it," her mother exclaimed pulling back out of the hug and cupped his cheeks. "You are family, I'm 'mom' to you."

Joss sighed as John looked uncomfortable just as he had when her mother insisted he call her mom when they met for the first time when he had memories. "Momma, you know John struggles with calling you mom even when he had his memories,"she admonished before turning her attention to John. "John, call her Alice," she instructed.

"Alice it is I guess, but now that my beautiful but stubborn daughter finally told you the truth about the relationship you share I can finally say what I wanted to then, now: the way you love my daughter is forever, and I know in my heart you feel it still even if you can't remember it."

John stared down at Joss's small mother. "I do, Alice," he assured softly. He heard Joss's inhalation but focused on the elder woman in front of him. "I want to remember it though."

"It starts with feeling it, John. The rest will come," she reassured as she reached up and patted his cheek lovingly.

"But when?" he asked, more to himself, though sounding petulantly.

"Don't we all want to know when," Joss grumbled. "Let's eat." she instructed.

Over the next half hour they settled in and ate a delicious Christmas dinner as they talked, or rather John listened for the most part, only speaking here and there. John sat between Joss and Taylor while her mother was sat opposite of him at the small table for four.

John sat back and patted his flat muscular tummy. "That was delicious, Joss, I'm so full I don't think I can move."

Joss smiled at his praise but then looked at her momma when she spoke; "You might not be able to but Taylor wanted to show me what he got from his mother for Christmas. Isn't that right honey?" her mother looked expectantly at Taylor.

"R-right grandma," Taylor agreed with only a slight stammer.

She shared a look with John, who knew exactly what her mother was up, and so did she because her mother wasn't refined in the slightest. They watched in amusement as her seventy-four year old mother, who didn't have a single clue about video games, followed Taylor out of the kitchen as fast as her little legs would take her.

John shifted his gaze off the departing pair and onto her. "Clearly she wants to give us a little alone time," he commented with a small, almost shy, smile on his handsome face.

"My mother doesn't have a subtle bone in her body," she agreed. "Although I'm glad since I want to talk to you alone."

John nodded. "I wanted to talk to you alone too," he murmured.

"You know the rules: ladies go first," she teased which earned her a small smirk. "Next week sometime I want us to go out together. No expectations and no pressure."

"Like a date?" he asked. Joss nodded in answer and John chewed it over in his head. "I'm not sure if that will jog my memory or not but I'm willing to try."

"No, not to jog your memory but to make new ones," she explained.

It wasn't a bad idea but he wasn't sure if he wanted to make new ones when he was still missing his old ones. "We can try," he agreed and she smiled. "But not next week; it will need to wait until after the new year because this afternoon Harold suggested and I agreed that I need some time away."

Joss felt her smile fade. Harold suggested what? "What?" she breathed trying to comprehend what he meant by 'time away'. Did that mean time away from her or from here?

"He thinks that I'm trying too hard to remember especially now that I know the truth and so Harold thought I'd benefit if I went somewhere out of New York to rest and relax for a week," he explained.

"I see…." Though she really didn't.

John frowned at how she spoke. It sounded as though she was upset. "It's not to get away from you, Joss, if that's what you're thinking. It's about getting a fresh perspective because I need to come to terms with the fact that I might never remember and that's a bitter pill for me to swallow," he acknowledged gruffly.

"But your memory…"

"Is in pieces, Joss," he finished for her as he stood and ran a hand through his hair. "I remember bits and pieces of my life. I remember meeting you and wanting to die that night. I remember meeting Harold for the first time when he offered me a job because he knew I needed a purpose again after Jessica died."

"Do you remember Jessica?" she asked though it felt like she was choking on her own heart because if he said yes but couldn't remember her she didn't think her heart would ever be whole again. Joss stood as she wrapped her arms around her middle to protect herself from whatever he might say.

"Not this grand love I must have felt for her to the point of wanting to take my life, no. I only remember us meeting up at an airport and she was engaged to someone else, but that's it."

A breath of relief expelled from her; as cruel as it sounded she was glad he couldn't remember Jessica any more than he could remember her. "I'm a terrible person but I'm glad you don't remember her more than me,"she whispered guiltily.

He let out a soft grunt as he stepped towards her and cupped her cheeks in his hands and she helplessly wrapped hers around his wrists. "Don't ever think yourself a bad person, Joss, because you're not. You've sacrificed a lot while trying to let me be as stressed free as I could."

"What else have you remembered?"

"Not much more. I know more than I remember; that I always turned to you when I needed someone. It's hard to explain how I feel around you, Joss. I don't remember our love but I feel it all the same," John murmured as his thumbs rubbed her soft cheeks.

"As momma said 'that is a start.' Stay and let me help you come to terms, John. You've said I'm always the one you turned to when you needed someone, so turn to me now," she cajoled.

John searched her gaze. "I think I need this, Joss. I spent months rehabbing and I'm not even a hundred percent yet. Harold owns a mansion in Antigua, and claims it's secluded and has a private beach."

"Knowing Finch it's more than secluded, it's probably something like Fort Knox where no one can get in or out," she grumbled but was determined to be happy for him. She could wait ten days for their first date in months. John needed rest and relaxation, and who was she to say that he couldn't have some alone time to think things over about his life. She understood, more than he knew. Maybe not what it felt like to be without your memories or having scattered memories but she knew what it felt like to pick up the pieces of your life and start over again. It happened to her after she was injured in Fallujah and flashbacked to when her friend died and she survived. But she just didn't want him so damn far away from her.

"So you understand why I need this time away?" he asked cautiously. Joss forced her head to nod. She understood but hated it. "When I get back we'll talk about when we can go out together."

"Sounds good," she said sounding cheery when she really felt gloomy; so much for having a great Christmas.