None of the Crystal Gems really wanted to potty train Steven.

"Why can't we just keep him in the diaper?" Amethyst groaned, sliding down the lip of the couch onto the floor.

"Yes, we've gotten quite efficient at it." Pearl added, her long legs crossed as she bounced her foot, her eyes focused on Steven as he napped in Garnet's lap.

"He even can tell us now when he's gone." Garnet muttered, watching as Steven's head slipped briefly from its upright position before he snapped it back up and began to snore quietly. She slid him forward a little so her stomach became his pillow.

"Guys, that's not the point. He's almost three! He's getting too big for diapers." Greg insisted.

"I have been to the grocery store and have been in the diaper aisle several times." Pearl crossed her arms with a sniff. "They make diapers for all sizes of humans, even some for adults."

"Guys, you're not going to want to change his diaper when he's my size! Or what if he gets nearly as tall as Garnet - are you really going to want to change a stinky diaper then?"

It was a unanimous decision. The Crystal Gems were all in favor of potty training Steven.

…

Steven had a dance. He would pause at whatever he was doing, cross his knees, wiggle, and grab at his underwear with a shiver. The closer he got to losing control, the harder he danced.

He didn't say anything though, as though speaking would somehow make him loose it right there. So more than often, he would be dancing and no one would notice until it was too late.

They had all become very familiar with the dance these past two weeks. Steven had been fine with being potty trained – he loved his big boy underwear and if anyone had the misfortune of asking, he would be more than happy to show them.

The problem was that despite being able to tell the gems and Greg when he was all done going potty in his diaper, he was not very capable of telling them when he felt the urge to go. Mostly because he got distracted. Why go sit on the boring old potty when you could be running around or watching TV. It was hard to convince him that sitting on his little plastic seat on the big person toilet was more fun.

So there had been dozens of near misses and plenty of accidents (mostly accidents).

…

"Come on! Come on! Come on!" Pearl panted as she ran with Steven tucked under her arm like a football. They had been exploring the beach, digging around in the sand for pretty seashells when Steven had frozen in place and began his signature dance. She had thankfully been facing him this time (unlike the last four times).

Pearl did not believe in just 'letting it go' like Amethyst or Greg did. Simply because Steven had the ability to pee on his surroundings did not mean he would be allowed to do so on her watch. She had begun coaching her modest policy not even ten minutes after they had begun potty training.

She burst into the house, racing past Garnet and skidding into the bathroom. She had begun setting up the potty – she had cleaned it yesterday and had yet to put it back together.

One moment he had been wiggly but dry. The next he had pulled down his pants and big boy underwear and suddenly the floor and Pearl's shoes were very, very wet.

…

Amethyst wasn't very good at this potty training thing. She didn't really understand why they couldn't just pee in the ocean or in the bushes. It was way easier than stopping everything they were doing and running back to the house.

She personally hated toilets - other than for flushing Pearl's things down, they were pretty boring. She didn't understand why she had to carry Steven all the way downstairs to that tiny potty where he wiggled uselessly. He rarely made it and if they did make it, he got stage fright. She would leave to give him some privacy and the next thing she knew either she was getting scolded or he ended up falling into the tub or something.

So whenever he began to dance, Amethyst did not rush across the room to grab him and race towards the bathroom. Instead she pulled his pants down right there and lifted him over the kitchen sink.

"Let 'er rip bud."

What Amethyst hadn't taken into account though was that Steven would remember her doing this every time she watched him. So one day when she came out of the temple and found Steven on the counter, whizzing into the sink and Pearl looking to blow her gem right off her forehead, she did her best to avoid the blows.

"AMETHYST! Why is he peeing in the sink?!"

…

Garnet had the perfect record.

Both Amethyst and Pearl grumble about future vision, but neither of them tend to be around when she's caring for Steven to know that's not why she has the perfect record.

What they didn't know was that Steven had told Garnet that he got nervous about using the potty and that sometimes he had bad dreams about failing. They didn't know that though Garnet was all for potty training, she didn't fuss about accidents like either of them had. They didn't know that Garnet had sat on the potty to show Steven how not scary it was. They didn't hear the songs they sang together while stuck in the bathroom for thirty minutes, waiting for something to happen. Or the stickers she acquired to give him when he made it, or the kisses and praise she couldn't help but give while they washed their hands together, or the endless patience she offered if it maybe took more than thirty minutes.

Or that Steven didn't do the dance with Garnet, he just asked her if they could go.

A/N: Someone asked for a potty training story and for the life of me I can't find their username. Whoever you are, I actually managed to do it. Sorry it's so short and poorly written. I should be studying for a midterm, but this thing just came to life and I knew I would forget to post it if I stopped.

Thanks for your favorites, follows and your wonderful reviews.