"Oh my, look at this…you had such a cute bottom!" Tifa exclaimed to Reno as she looked at the baby album of him, open to a page full of pictures of his diapers being changed.

"All Sinclair men do." Jillian said with a mischievous smile on her face. "Isn't that right, Daddy?"

"Men don't have cute bottoms, we have handsome ones, Mother." Patrick replied with mock arrogance.

"Yeah, we're a bunch of great asses." Reno muttered darkly to himself. He was sitting on the couch with his mother and Tifa, but he had scooted himself as far away from them as he could get, folding his arms over his chest and pouting. There was really nothing he could do to avoid his entire childhood being exposed to Tifa, the damage had already been done once she met his parents…and now they were going to be parents! Reno had prayed the pregnancy test would be negative, but he should have known better…Tifa had always been after his manhood, now she finally had it…why hadn't he just left it alone when she first refused sex with him? He had let himself be played! "I don't have to take this!" he suddenly exclaimed, springing up and bolting for the front door. Opening it, he was confronted with deep snow drifts, already as tall as his knees and more was still coming down hard. "Are you kidding me?"

"Sweetie, why don't you have some cocoa and calm down?" Jillian asked him, then leaned conspiratorially towards Tifa. "It's a pity I can't do what used to work so well, rub his widdle round belly while singing the Three Little Pigs nursery rhyme to him. A lot of times it would actually put him right to sleep."

"Richard, since they're busy and they're the ones who actually prepared the meal, why don't you help me clear the table?" Patrick asked, wanting to finish the private conversation with his son."

"Fine." Reno agreed with ill grace, just glad of an excuse to get away from his mother and Tifa, since he was obviously just as stuck here as Tifa was.

"How do you feel about Tifa being pregnant?" Patrick asked Reno.

"She finally got my manhood." he complained.

"What are you talking about, son?" Patrick collected all the silverware from the table.

"Tifa Lockhart was born to steal my manhood and try and get me to end up whipped." Reno started whining.

"Son, being a father will only add to your manhood, not take it away. And there's nothing wrong with being whipped." An odd smile lit up his father's face. "Your mother is an expert…she knows how I like to be hurt."

Reno nearly dropped the plates over his father's confession…he always knew there had to be some secret to how they kept such a happy marriage, but…why did he have to know what it was? Was there never going to be an end to this holiday nightmare? And Rude was just partying and ignoring his partner's pain…an idea suddenly occurred to him on how to let his partner share in his holiday 'joy'.

Reno excused himself to the bathroom and took out his phone, dialing Rude's number with a malicious grin on his face as he entered the code to activate his partner's speaker phone feature.

"Hey buddy, what's going on?" Rude was surprised Reno had called back, and a little annoyed.

"Please come back home, Daddy!" Reno blurted out loudly in a childlike voice, and the speaker amplified the sound to make it audible up to five feet away. "You promised you'd be home for Christmas this time!"

"What the hell are you playing at?" Rude demanded.

"I'm so sorry he called you, dear." Reno now switched to a feminine voice. "You've been such a good husband and father, working on Christmas to provide for us, it's just that we miss you. The holiday just isn't the same without you. Please call soon." Reno hung up, his smile widening.

Rude stared at the phone in confusion, then realized the two friendly ladies he had met here at the beach bar were favoring him with very unfriendly expressions on their faces now.

"You have a wife and child?" the blonde asked angrily, followed by the brunette's furious question. "What kind of a man swears at his own son just for wanting him to keep his promise at being home on Christmas?"

"Uh…" Rude realized he was in deep trouble.