Monique,
Would you please apologize again to Dante for me and give him this?
James
Dante,
I'm using this name as I respect your privacy.
I am so, so sorry for what I did. I went completely over the line and I promise to never do it again.
If you let me see you again, you can hit me as much as you want with the enclosed toy. The store said the rubber ball on the end allows for deep muscle bruising, leaving a lasting impression for several days.
Please, please punish me hard for what I did. Please, please don't shut me out of your life when we have just found each other again.
HP
12 Grimmauld Place
The toy was a black 12 inch rod with a 2 inch hard rubber ball attached to one end. Harry tucked his note to Draco inside the box, and dropped it off at the brothel.
It was returned a couple days later by Monique, saying Dante refused to accept it.
He sent another letter with another gift, a voucher for a new set of robes with a popular menswear designer.
It was returned as well.
Thinking hard, Harry finally came up with another idea. It took a bit of research, but eventually he dropped the gift off at the brothel. The private note inside said simply:
D-
I will say again that I am sorry, but understand that you cannot forgive me.
I am thankful for the brief time we had together to get to know you a little as the man you are now.
Wishing you all the best,
H
PS: I hope this gift is something that you can enjoy.
...
Harry felt exhausted. He had barely been dragging himself into work each day, and went to bed as soon as he got home.
Ron was giving him concerned looks, bringing him bottles of pumpkin juice and bowls of soup to eat at his desk, like he was sick with the flu.
Harry half-heartedly ate some of it, and pushed the rest away. He had no appetite these days.
Clementine had taken one look at him and cancelled his upcoming event. She was just as bad as Ron, leaving him baskets of muffins in the kitchen.
Ignoring it all, Harry poured himself a large fire whiskey and downed it like a shot. He staggered up to his room, stripped to just his t-shirt and underwear, and crawled into bed.
It had been two weeks since he'd last seen Draco, and a week since he'd sent the last letter. He hadn't heard back about it, and knew it had been a futile last ditch attempt. Draco had made his rules clear from the start, and Harry had broken them.
Nothing seemed to interest Harry right now. He just had no energy. At least his bedroom was dark and the thick covers made a warm cocoon. He drifted along, half-sleeping, trying to think about nothing.
A top-volume screeching noise had Harry jumping out of his bed, heart pounding, wand already in his hand. He grabbed his glasses, and stopped to listen closer to the sound, his shoulders dropping when he identified what it was, but bringing on a different type of tension.
It was one of the wards he had set for anyone trying to get up to this level of the house. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Harry saw it was 8:37 pm, so it definitely couldn't be Clementine. Even when she worked late, she was never here past 7 pm. That meant it was someone else. An intruder.
Throwing on some dress shoes that were lying nearby from his last formal event, Harry crept out into the hallway. The house was dark and quiet, but he could just sense that he wasn't alone.
Wordlessly, he cast a Lumos spell and flicked it upwards to illuminate the whole area. There was the shadow of someone on the staircase, likely trying to get through Harry's wards to attack him in his sleep.
"Stupefy!" Harry's spell could go through the wards, and the shadow stiffened before falling down the stairs with a satisfying thump.
Casting another Lumos spell, Harry ran down the steps. The person was wearing black, lying facedown, and Harry rolled them over carefully, his wand close at hand.
It was Draco Malfoy.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
Sighing, Harry levitated him and manoeuvred him down to the second floor drawing room. Once he was lying on a sofa, Harry mumbled "Rennervate".
Draco's eyes opened, and immediately focussed on Harry. "You stupefied me!"
"You were trying to break my wards! In the middle of the night!"
Draco scoffed, sitting up and rubbing a sore spot on his head. "Middle of the night. It's not even 9 pm!"
"And that makes it OK to bust into my house?" Harry paced around the room, adrenaline still pumping through his body.
"I knocked and pounded at your front door for ages!" Draco got up, grabbing hold of the arm of the sofa to keep from wobbling.
"And that makes it OK to bust into my house?" Harry repeated, swirling around to glare at the taller man.
Draco was the first to look away. "I somehow got this idea in my head that you could've been sick or injured. I was trying to check on you."
The fight went out of Harry at that admission, and he stepped closer to Draco. "I think you are the one who might be injured. You hit your head when you fell down the stairs."
"And whose fault was that?" Draco grumbled, but he sat back down on the sofa.
Harry had become quite good at basic healing spells, dealing with the day to day injuries the aurors got. He parted Draco's hair, seeing the reddened bump. "Stay still a second..."
A few words and waves of his wand, and Harry could see the tightness in Draco's expression ease.
"Look, let's start all this again. Why are you here, Draco?" Harry sat down beside him, dragging a blanket over his body. He felt messy and underdressed, wearing very little and his hair in disarray from being in bed. He hadn't even shaved that morning before he dragged himself to work.
Draco pulled an envelope from out of his suit pocket, and Harry recognized it as his last gift. "Why did you send this to me?"
"Didn't you like it?" Harry searched Draco's expression, but found he was still far too good at hiding his emotions.
Draco shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Why did you send it?" He shook the letter at Harry, his eyes intense.
Harry drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Just what I said in the letter. To say I'm sorry and I respect your decision. The gift was just something I thought you might like."
"A muggle train ticket to Lucerne, Switzerland." Draco stared at Harry, his eyes looking for answers too.
Harry swallowed hard, glancing away. "I heard that is where your mother lives now. I thought you might like to visit her. You would be anonymous travelling on a muggle train."
Draco's fingers went under Harry's chin, tugging it so he met Draco's gaze. "Why, Harry?"
There was nothing he could say but the unvarnished truth. "Because it's what I'd want the most if my mother was still alive. I don't know everything you have been through since the war, but I know you two love each other, and I guessed you miss her." Harry blinked fast, and pulled away, just needing a minute.
Draco was quiet, likely lost in his own thoughts. When Harry finally looked over at him again, he could see Draco was a little rough too.
"Um, I'm going to get us some tea. Don't go anywhere." Harry got up, wrapping the blanket more tightly around himself. He waved a wand at the fireplace, starting a good sized fire that soon warmed and brightened the room.
Harry ran down to the kitchen, and threw everything together as fast as he could. Clementine's muffins looked good on plate on the tea tray.
Sighing in relief that Draco was still there, Harry poured the tea and sat back down at his end of the sofa. He sipped the comforting drink, staring into the fire. After a couple minutes, Draco did the same.
"You are right. I do miss my mother and it's been hard to see her as often as I'd like to." Draco's voice was soft, his face half-lit by the fire, half in shadow.
That made Harry nod and smile. "Muffin? My assistant made them so they are probably pretty good." He held out the plate towards Draco.
Draco took one. "You have an assistant?"
Harry took one as well, suddenly feeling hungry, before setting the plate back down. "It's a new thing. I thought it might help me be less of a 'sloppy party bottom'."
Smirking widely, Draco popped a piece of muffin into his mouth. "And is it helping?"
"Well, she has taken over my charity calendar, and is being very selective on what I attend. Between that and you making me too sore to work long hours, I've had a lot of free time lately." Harry found he had already eaten his muffin, and reached for another one.
Draco poured himself another cup of tea. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
Harry liked this, Draco feeling comfortable enough to serve himself, and being able to talk more openly than they ever had before.
"Um, well, it might have been a contributing factor to my behaviour lately. Having all this time on my hands meant I perhaps got a little obsessed...with you. I acted horribly, and it's totally my own fault." Harry's heart was thumping, but he tried to keep his tone light.
Draco looked at him calmly, likely easily reading Harry's earnest expression, and he turned back to the fire with a sigh. "Neither of us have behaved perfectly."
The comment gave Harry a glimmer of hope, along with Draco being in his home at all. "Look, we were both surprised to see each other after all these years, and it's stirred up a lot of old feelings. At least on my side."
"On my side too." Draco admitted, and he set his empty cup down.
Harry felt a surge of relief at that. "So, does that mean you accept my apology now and we can go back to our weekly sessions?"
"No," Draco said firmly, his tone broking no argument.
"Oh." Harry's heart dropped about a foot in his chest. He suddenly felt a bit nauseous, regretting eating those muffins so fast.
Draco stood up, walking slowly around the room. The walls were covered with his mother's family tree, his own name appearing underneath her's. His eyes flicked over the walls, but he didn't seem that interested.
Eventually, he sat down on the other sofa, facing Harry directly. "After the war, everything was taken from us. The house, everything we owned, the money, our reputations. With Father at Azkaban, my mother was not the same. For all their faults, they did love each other. I spent my last bit of money getting her away from here, to distant relatives in Lucerne."
Harry nodded, just wanting Draco to go on. To understand him better.
"Back here, I couldn't get work. I could hardly even show my face anywhere." He ran his hand through his hair, and Harry knew how hard those years were for many people.
Draco looked towards the fire. "Monique found me then, and took me in. She gave me food and clothes, a place to sleep. Offered me work."
Harry felt so bad, wondering if he would have helped Draco back then.
Looking back at Harry, Draco's eyes were dull. It was hard for him to talk about this. "But no matter how hungry and desperate I was, I couldn't...," his voice catching with emotion. "I couldn't have sex for money."
Harry's heart went out to him, seeing the pure pain in his eyes. "But you work in a brothel...?"
Draco nodded. "Monique understood. She taught me a different service I could provide. Being a dom." He gave a dry laugh. "It's basically acting like you are better than everyone else and getting people to acknowledge it."
Harry chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little. "Sounds like something you were born to do."
"A lot of people came to me after the war wanting to be punished, wanting to suffer. They wanted to expunge their guilt, and I had no problem beating them black and blue." Draco leaned back and crossed his legs. "Which makes you so interesting, Harry. You are Mr. Perfect. An Auror. Constantly helping out every charity under the sun. The fucking Chosen One. Why the hell are you letting me whip you until my arm aches?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Ron and his brothers gave me the package as a bit of a joke. They knew I'd been too busy to even get laid, and said I needed that, at least. So, I came to the brothel looking for some no-strings sex, hoping to try things with a man that I'd never done before. I guess I got my wish. I've never been flogged before."
His joke fell a bit flat. Draco didn't even give it half a smile. "You know why I limit my clients to twelve sessions, Harry? Because that's enough time to help the ones who are just dealing with some old guilt, and move them along before they get too attached to me. Most of them aren't really true submissives. It is something that works for them for this short period of their lives, and they probably won't seek this type of relationship again."
Harry nodded, trying to follow along. Draco had lived in this underworld for years, and understood it much more. "Am I like that too?"
Draco sighed. "You, like you are in everything you do, are unique. There is guilt there, for what, I have no fucking clue. There are feelings too. But you also go deeper into subspace than any other new sub I've worked with."
"Subspace?"
"People describe it as a state you sink into during a session, often brought on by the pain blended with the trust you have in your dom. Submitting yourself to the pain." Draco waved his hand around as he searched for the right words.
Harry blinked in recognition. "Oh. I've been thinking of it as a trance. I love it. And what you do after."
"Subs are very vulnerable when they come out of subspace. A good dom brings you back gently, takes care of you." Draco explained.
Nodding, Harry tried to appear normal, but he felt a bit stung by that. Was Draco like that with all his clients? "So, you think I'm a 'true submissive' then? I could feel like this with other doms?"
"Maybe," Draco shrugged.
Harry felt more confused than ever. "So, to sum things up: you forgive me and liked your gift and you will go visit your mother soon." Harry held up one finger.
Draco gave a small smile, and nodded.
"You are a dom and you have never had sex with a client." Harry added a second finger.
Draco nodded again.
"I am probably a sub and will likely want some BDSM in future relationships." Harry held up a third finger.
Rolling his eyes, Draco gave one nod.
"I'm still extremely attracted to you and I want to see where this goes. And I hope you feel the same." Harry said softly, holding up his fourth finger.
Draco just stared at him, not agreeing or denying with Harry's last statement.
Eventually, Harry just felt frustrated and he went right over to Draco, put a couple fingers under his chin and leaned down to give him a good, long kiss. They pulled apart barely an inch, catching their breath as they stared into each other's eyes. Draco's silver grey eyes told him nothing besides being a little shocked.
Harry had a few first kisses over the years, but this was the first time with a guy he fancied. That he was so strongly attracted to. He desperately wanted to kiss him again and again, but held back, heart pounding. His gaze went from Draco's eyes to his lips, just wanting him so much. But after what had happened in the last session, he held back.
Was this good? Did this feel right? Before Harry could even begin to answer that, they were kissing again, a long, deep kiss with Draco's hand digging into Harry's hair, and Harry practically crawling into Draco's lap with a moan of pure need.
The sofa was long and wide, and they ended up lying down, pressed fully together, sharing kiss after kiss. Harry's blanket got bunched up between them somehow, and Draco yanked it away impatiently. His hands pushed Harry's t-shirt up, digging into the skin of his lower back, tugging him closer.
"This isn't fair. You are wearing far too much." Harry whined softly, jokingly, pulling at Draco's suit jacket.
Draco rolled off to the side, giving Harry a quick look over. "Whereas you are wearing the fetching ensemble of underwear with dress shoes."
"I grabbed what was nearby when I thought someone was coming to murder me in my own bed." Harry defended himself, giving Draco a playful glare. He desperately wanted to kiss the man again, but didn't want to go over the line like he had the last time.
Draco gave him a bit of a smile, and then rolled onto his back. "What are we doing here, Harry?"
"Snogging." Harry grinned, just feeling good knowing Draco was attracted to him as well.
Sitting up, Draco straightened his clothes and his hair. "I think that's enough for tonight."
"I don't agree, but I guess it is getting late. When can I see you again, Draco?" Harry sat up as well, leaning against the other man.
"Dating? Is that what we are doing now? The Chosen One and the Sex Worker?" Draco stood up, and stretched. He still looked a bit rumpled, and Harry liked seeing him that way.
Taking his hand, Harry led him down the stairs to the entrance. "How about we go on a few discrete dates, get to know each other better, and figure out if this could actually be something?"
With a small nod, Draco leaned in and gave Harry a kiss. "I'm apparently going away to Switzerland for a week, but I'll contact you when I get back, OK?"
Harry gave him a wide, happy smile. "That sounds perfect. I'll miss you though."
It took a few more kisses before Draco got out the door and apparated away.
After repairing the wards on his front door, Harry went to bed, feeling better than he had for weeks.
...
-A/N: Ahhhh...finally some open communication and kissing...
-BDSM: The way Draco has experienced BDSM has made him have his own theories about it. I don't think this guilt/punishment aspect is a big factor in most real life BDSM scenes. Please allow for some artistic license around this.