"What are you doing with that doll, son?" Patrick asked as they stood in line at the breakfast buffet, Reno wearing a sling on his chest to carry the doll.
"Proving to Tifa that I can be a responsible parent so she'll marry me." Reno admitted to his father, any snide comment he might have made about her overridden by his gratitude for her kindness in giving him the best home remedy for a hangover she knew, even though she refused to give him the recipe. She told him she was only giving it to him so he'd leave the cabin with the baby and let her rest.
"Oh. Well, good luck, son." Patrick wished his son and Tifa would have had this forethought before getting her spontaneously pregnant.
"I don't need luck!" Reno declared arrogantly, just as the doll suddenly started crying. "Oh come on…" he pouted. "I need food!"
"Maybe the baby does too. Or a diaper change. You can learn to tell what they need by their cries." Patrick informed him before heading off with his breakfast.
Reno had to leave his place in line to figure out what the doll wanted, but he couldn't figure it out, changing the diaper(which was just taking it off, wiping them, and refastening it since it was a robot) and trying to feed them didn't help.
"Maybe they need some attention." A woman suggested to him, and before he knew it, Reno was in the midst of a gaggle of attractive woman, all giving him advice on parenting.
"This isn't so bad." Reno said to himself, mentally smirking. It did his ego good to have the women going on about how lucky Tifa was, and that reminded him of Cloud telling him he was lucky to be able to have kids. An idea for a prank came to mind, and even though Reno knew it was kinda mean since the mako poisoning had sterilized Cloud, it made him chuckle.
"Thank you, sir." the waitress told Cloud as she took his order while he was waiting for Tseng to join him.
"Thanks for your service." Cloud replied as his partner finally showed up, giving the waitress his order in the same tone he ordered his subordinate Turks around.
"You're always friendly with the help." Tseng admonished him.
"I know how thankless a job working in the service industry can be." Cloud automatically replied, used to Tseng's occasional snobbiness. They ate their meal in companionable silence, until the check came, and the waitress handed it to Cloud instead of just leaving it on the table. "What the…" Cloud was stunned when he read the handwritten note on it.
"Let me see that." Tseng took the bill from him and read the note. "I'm pregnant, call me!" A dark look flitted over the man's face. "RENO!"
"Can I help you?" Tifa questioned the two men dressed in hospital orderly uniforms, wondering why they were knocking on her door.
"Is Mr. Reno in?" the taller one asked.
"No, may I ask what this is about?" she demanded.
"We have orders to quarantine him for 72 hours as a precautionary measure." the shorter one told her.
"Well, he's not…" Tifa fell silent as Reno came walking down the passageway to their cabin.
"Are you Mr. Reno?" the men asked him.
"Yeah." Reno had been expecting some kind of retaliation for his prank on Cloud, and didn't resist when the men put restraints on him.
"Please come with us, sir." they told him.
"Sure thing." Reno agreed. "Oh, would you mind doing something for me?" he asked Tifa quickly.
"Take care of the baby for you?" she asked him disparagingly.
"Nah, I'll do that, it's our deal. Just tell Tseng and Cloud it was worth it." he smirked at her before he let the men lead him off.
There wasn't much to do in the quarantine section of the infirmary, except take care of the baby, so Reno slept mostly.
He found himself back in the room with his professor and girly selves. "Oh, not you two again! This is all your fault!" he accused them.
"What are you talking about?" his professor self asked.
"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten Tifa pregnant. Now I'm trying to prove I can be a responsible parent so she'll marry me. Dullsville is going to get me as a permanent resident!" Reno complained. "And if I don't prove myself, I'll lose my parental rights. She'll have stolen my manhood no matter what!"
The professor stared pityingly at him while his girly self blushed fifty shades of red at the sexual innuendos. "So you're afraid of being boring? Then why not teach your Tifa to have fun if you think she doesn't?" his professor self logically and pompously replied.
Reno woke up then, staring at the ceiling while he listened to the baby cry. "It's so simple…I can get her to have fun!"
Tifa was deciding what to order in for breakfast two days later when the door suddenly opened to Reno holding a box. "Oh, you're out of quarantine now? What's in the box?"
"It's time we start celebrating." Reno smiled salaciously at her.
"Celebrating what?" Tifa stared blankly at him. "Where's the baby?"
"With my parents. It's customary to find a sitter so we can have a honeymoon." he replied. Before Tifa could question him further, he took her in his arms and kissed her.