This Crazy World

Part 16

Jess was chewing on his pencil, a bad habit he had taken up somewhere during his many trips across the country. Mostly he didn't even notice it anymore, that is, until he bit a little too hard and the pencil broke.

As if waking up, he sat up quickly on the bed, shook his head and spit out the stump. It landed with a soft thud among the others at the bottom of the waste basket and he sighed, laid back down, closed his eyes and absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the still empty page in his notebook.

A moment later he opened his eyes again and grabbed the pencil, or what was left of it, giving it a disapproving glare before letting it join the rest of its pieces in the waste basket. It wouldn't be of any use anyway unless he learned to write with just two fingers.

Until an hour ago he had been writing furiously, trying to keep up with his mind, the ideas forming faster than he could process them. And then suddenly when he turned another page they had just stopped.

Since then he had gone through three pencils.

Jess sighed again and opened the drawer in his bedside table, searching for a second before finding a new one, pulled it out and closed the drawer. Then he tucked it between his front teeth and his hand once more picked up its drumming on the notebook.

Half an hour later he woke up with a start; this time he had actually been sleeping, and cursed loudly as he bit down hard on the pencil and it broke, lodging a piece between his teeth.

Wincing he sat up, concentrating to find out what had woken him, when the shrill ring of a cell phone sounded through the room, and he cursed again, this time his new phone for not having any normal ring tones.

He picked up the phone and checked the caller ID, sighing as he saw who it was and pressed the talk button.

"Hang on a sec," Jess muttered and got up from the bed, ignoring the confused response on the other end.

With the phone still in his hand he made his way over to the bathroom, turned on the light and spent some time rummaging through the shelves in search of a pair of tweezers. Finding them he made another grimace and quickly pulled the splinter out, throwing it in the sink.

On his way out of the bathroom he vowed never to bite on another pencil again, ignoring the fact that he had made the same vow many times before by picking up the phone again, interrupting Luke.

"Hey there Luke."

"What's going on?" Luke asked again, sounding both annoyed and worried.

"Nothing," Jess said dismissively. "I just had to take care of something."

"Right," Luke said, far from convinced, but didn't press the matter. Instead he changed the subject. "So, how're you doing?"

Jess smirked halfheartedly as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine Luke," Jess insisted, rolling his eyes at no one.

"Ok," Luke said. "I just hadn't heard from you in a while and…"

"It's been three days, Luke," Jess interrupted him.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure." Luke said and Jess frowned, noticing his hesitation.

"What happened?" he asked.

"What?" Luke asked.

"Something's going on," Jess said. "And you're trying to decide if you should tell me."

Luke sighed on the other end and sat down by the kitchen table. "Yeah," he finally admitted.

"So, are you gonna tell me or not?"

Luke didn't say anything and for a while the only sound over the phone was static.

"You obviously thought it important enough to call me about it," Jess pointed out.

With a heavy sigh Luke answered. "I don't know if I should tell you, or if it's my place to do it, but…for some reason I thought you should know."

"Know what?" Jess asked, growing annoyed.

After a moment's hesitation Luke decided to just say it. "Rory and Logan broke up."

"Oh," Jess mumbled and frowned, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, that's why she was so upset the other day," Luke continued.

But Jess was hardly listening. Instead he sat still, the phone in his hand, wondering why he was surprised that she was the reason Luke called. He should have known, especially considering how nervous Luke sounded.

But no matter how many times he'd wanted to hear those words he wasn't sure how to take them. Somewhere he'd been sure he'd be nothing but happy, but he wasn't. He wasn't sure what exactly it was he was feeling, but it was definitely not happiness.

"Jess?"

Luke's voice abruptly brought him out of his thoughts.

"Are you there?" Luke asked, concern evident in his voice.

Jess nodded before he remembered Luke couldn't see him. "Yeah," he said instead, sitting up straight again, running a hand over his face.

"Is she ok?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"I don't know," Luke sighed. "She hasn't been outside the house."

Jess nodded slowly at the answer, not surprised. Luke listened to the silence on the other end and then decided to say what he was sure was on both their minds.

"You could…"

"No," Jess quickly cut him off. "I'd say I'm probably the last person she'd want to talk to."

"But…" Luke started to protest, but didn't get any longer.

"It doesn't change anything," Jess said quietly. "I just want to know if she's ok."

Luke sighed, but let it go. "Lorelai says she's getting there."

"Ok," Jess said, just as quiet as before.

They were quiet for a few moments and Luke kept glancing at the post-it note in his hand. Finally he sighed.

"If you do want to call her, here's her number," he said, and quickly read of the note before Jess could interrupt him.

Jess listened quietly, the numbers already memorized by the time Luke was finished. He stayed quiet, too many thoughts running through his mind, and after a while Luke sighed again and put the note down.

"Ok, I should get back to the diner," he said awkwardly.

"Ok," Jess nodded. "Thanks for telling me."

"You're welcome," Luke said, not sure it was the right thing to say even as the words left his mouth. But Jess didn't say anything about it.

They said goodbye and Jess hung up his phone, tossing it on the bed beside him. He stared at the opposite wall for a long time before getting up and walking out in the kitchen to make himself a mug of tea.

He didn't think he would get anywhere with the story anytime soon anyway.