This Crazy World
A/N: For more information on some of the things mentioned in this chapter, read my story Still There. It takes place the night before this one.
Part 19
Luke exited the kitchen and stopped in the middle of a step when he saw Jess sitting at the counter. He blinked, trying to remember if his nephew had said anything about coming for a visit, but came up blank.
"Surprise," Jess said with a smirk, and Luke rolled his eyes.
"What're you doing here?" he asked.
"I can't come visit my favorite uncle?" Jess wondered, one eyebrow raised.
"No, of course," Luke hurriedly assured him. "I just…wasn't expecting you."
"Yeah well…"
Then Luke frowned, remembering the phone call from the night before. "Hey, did something happen yesterday?"
Jess was suddenly very interested in something on the counter, and Luke's frown deepened as he wondered what exactly happened between his nephew and Rory, and if whatever it was brought him here today. And at nine in the morning no less.
"What's going on?" Luke asked, now more than a little concerned. "Something happen with…"
"Could we maybe go upstairs?" Jess suddenly interrupted him, and Luke's suspicions only grew stronger.
"Sure," he agreed slowly, drying his hands on a towel. "Just let me finish up here."
Jess was off the stool before Luke had even completed his sentence, and then he slipped through the curtain. Yeah, something was definitely up.
Luke quickly called out to Caesar that he would be right back before following his nephew up the stairs, ignoring his chef's protests. When he entered the apartment he found Jess sitting at the kitchen table, his appearance bringing back so many memories from a few years ago that he almost thought he was back there. He shook his head, ridding his mind of the images.
"What's going on, Jess?" he asked sitting down in a chair across form him. "Did something happen with Rory last night?"
At first Jess just nodded, then he looked up briefly. "Yeah, we…talked," he started hesitantly, avoiding looking at Luke. "And then…we…well, didn't talk." He grimaced as he said the last part. He didn't know why he felt this awkward about telling Luke. Both he and Rory were adults, they were old enough to make their own decisions, and he definitely didn't regret last night. And yet, sitting here, at Luke's kitchen table, he felt eighteen all over again, just waiting to be scolded for not treating people right.
"Oh," Luke frowned, confused for a moment, then his eyes widened. "Oh."
"Yeah," Jess mumbled, strangely relieved that he didn't have to spell it out.
"So… what're you doing here?" Luke asked after a few minutes of silence.
"I…came up with Rory," Jess said, aware he didn't really answer the question. "She had to be at Yale early this morning and I was just gonna ride up with her and then take the train back home, but…"
"Instead you came here," Luke finished, frowning, wondering what was going on in his nephew's head, knowing it was best to just let him get there on his own.
"Yeah. And I don't really know why, it's just…" Jess trailed off, dragging a heavy hand down his face before looking up at Luke. "Last night everything felt so right, you know? And this morning, the ride up to Yale, it seemed like the easiest thing in the world. And then I was standing at the station, looking for a train back to Philly, and I realized we never discussed how this would work. Nothing, not a single word. And I know, a few years ago I'd have shrugged and said it would all work itself out, but now, standing there in a crowded train station, it hit me. This is it. If this doesn't work, then it's all over, no going back, and I…"
"You'll figure it out," Luke tried to assure him.
"But how?" Jess asked, frustrated. "I mean, it's what, 180 miles between Yale and Truncheon. Three hour drive on a good day, closer to four on a bad one. And Rory's got classes and the paper and assignments and finals and I've got meetings with writers and the zine, store duty and bills to pay and… Neither of us can just take off whenever we feel like it. So we're gonna see each other on holidays and spring break and a weekend here and there in between, or what?"
"Jess!" Luke cut in, putting his hand on his nephews arm to get his attention.
Jess frowned at him, still looking troubled. "What?"
"You'll figure it out," Luke repeated his words from before, looking straight at the younger man. "I'm not saying it will be easy, but seriously, if you both still want this after all this time and what you've put each other through…"
Jess stared at him for a few seconds before nodding to himself and then looking down at his hands on the table. "Maybe."
Luke watched him, his frown deepening. "You're not getting cold feet, are you?" he asked warily.
"What?" Jess questioned, his head whipping up fast again. "No!"
"Ok, good."
"It's just… It feels like it's all hanging up in the air right now, and I don't like it."
"I seem to recall a piece of advice I got not too long ago," Luke said, leaning back in his chair. "Something about talking. Ring any bells?"
"Funny," Jess muttered, rolling his eyes. "And yes, the thought has crossed my mind. There's just one problem. Rory's got class all day, and then the paper, and I'm pretty sure she'll want to talk to Lorelai after that, so this day's pretty much a bust."
"How about…" Luke started, but was quickly interrupted.
"I guess I should just go back to Philly, right?" Jess sighed.
"Or you could stay here," Luke suggested.
"Huh?"
Luke shrugged. "You could stay here. Help out in the diner if you want. Or not."
"I don't know…" Jess said slowly. "I mean, I left the paint out last night, and there's still one wall left to finish, and then there are all the door seals and other list work, and the guys have started, quite pointedly, to ask when it'll be done, and…"
"It's just one day," Luke interrupted.
"I know."
Luke watched him closely. "What's the real problem?"
"What are you talking about?" Jess muttered, but Luke noticed he wouldn't look at him.
"Something's got you acting all weird. I thought you'd jump at the chance to stay and spend some more time with Rory, and instead you're inventing excuses to leave."
"I'm not…" Jess started to protest, but a pointed look from Luke made him stop. "Ok, fine," he sighed instead.
"So…"
Jess took a deep breath before he spoke. "I'm terrified, ok?"
Luke froze for a second, not expecting that. "Of what?"
Jess didn't say anything for a long time, then eventually he sighed. "What if she doesn't want this?" he said. "That's why it feels so wrong that we haven't talked about it. For as long as I've known her, Rory's wanted to talk about everything. And now: nothing."
Luke regarded his nephew across the table. "Maybe she's scared too?"
Jess frowned. "Huh?"
"Just something to think about," Luke said.
But Jess wasn't really listening anymore. Since that moment at the train station he had been so preoccupied with his own - for lack of better word and against his own self-respect - insecurities, that he hadn't properly considered Rory's side of things. He really should have. With a sigh he shook his head at himself.
"So…it's ok if I stay in the apartment, right?"
"Of course," Luke immediately agreed, unable to hide his smug smile.
"Thanks," Jess said with a nod, choosing to ignore it. "And not just for letting me stay."
Luke's smile turned more serious. "You're welcome."
"You know, for all of their merits, I can't really bring any of this up with Chris and Matt."
"Oh, why not?" Luke frowned.
Jess sighed. "Well, they were there the last time Rory visited, and let's just say that I wasn't exactly a happy camper for a while there."
"You're never a happy camper," Luke pointed out.
"So not the point," Jess muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry," Luke chuckled. "But you gotta admit, you sort of had that one coming."
Jess inhaled deeply, shaking his head, and then got up. "You needed help downstairs or what?"
"Oh, so now we're back to avoidance techniques," Luke grinned. "Interesting."
"Ignoring you now," Jess grumbled, stalking out of the apartment and down the stairs.
Luke stayed for a few moments, smiling to himself. It was good to have Jess back, if only for a little while.