I never thought I'd end up doing something so taxing.

Tamaki was meters ahead of me on the trail. Sweat was getting in my eyes, and I was pretty sure I'd swallowed a few bugs already. I called up to her.

"God, please stop."

She turned around at the sound of my complaining and gave me a look. Like I ruined her workout or something.

"Where's the water?" I begged.

"In your backpack."

My arm flailed around and suddenly touched the plastic bottle. My shoulders dropped. "Right."

This was a horrible idea really. It wasn't mine. Ichigo and Orihime, in their newly-wedded excitement, decided that they wanted to host their friends on a hiking retreat. Retreat from what? I had no idea. I wanted a retreat from here.

Tam's voice interrupted my raging dehydrated blackouts.

"Are you gonna make it?"

"Don't worry, I've had dinner already."

She only gave me a weird look. I finally fished the water bottle out of the bottom of the bag and began to chug it. The taste of sunscreen and bug spray got in my mouth. I nearly choked.

"What do you mean, you had dinner?"

I stopped drinking and slouched in agony. "Tam, I swear I'm eating flies."

"Close your mouth, then."

"I have to breathe."

She crossed her arms, but patiently.

"Do you need a break?"

"No."

"We can take a break for a minute."

"No, no—"

"We're sitting down." She grabbed my arm and pulled. "Right here."

I plopped down in the middle of the trail. "Jesus." She sat next to me in the dirt. Our bare, sweaty shoulders rubbed together, and in a second, we had scooted apart in disgust. Sometimes sweat was sexy, but not this time. It was too goddamn hot.

I heard Tam sigh. I snorted.

"Tell me about it."

"Tell you what?" she asked, annoyed.

"That this sucks."

She didn't answer. I looked over at her. Her eyes were wide.

"Come on," I said. "You can't say you actually like this."

Now, she was appalled at me. "What is your problem?"

"Tam, I'm dying of thirst, I feel sick, it's hot as hell, and I've literally eaten bugs. And then, tonight, we're sleeping in a tent. On the fucking ground."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay then."

"What, I'm the crazy one?"

"A little bit."

"Seriously?"

"I'm enjoying this, Grimm."

I felt like I was going to puke all that water back up.

"Well, I'm not." I barely got that out before I leaned over and threw up on the side of the trail. Tam freaked.

"Oh, my God, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." More came up my throat.

"Shit!"

"Calm down," I said weakly. It was all just water.

"Did you chug this whole thing?!"

"I was thirsty."

"It's all gone." I heard her take off her backpack. I finally turned around, wiping my mouth with the bottom of my shirt.

Her eyes were so worried. In some semblance of trembling courage, she reached up and brushed my chest, trying to comfort me, or maybe trying to comfort herself. I was lucky she was even near me right now. She was terrified of puke.

"Are you okay?"

My throat was so dry I could barely speak. "Yeah."

"You need to drink more water."

I grimaced. "That doesn't sound too good right now."

"You just lost all of it," she said. She held up her own water bottle. I just looked at her sickly. She paled.

"Are you gonna throw up again?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you look sick?"

"It didn't feel very good."

She looked like she was having an internal battle. "Well, here." She pushed her bottle into my hands. "Drink it more slowly this time."

I was too weak to argue. "Okay."

I sipped it. Swishing it around, I spat out the acidic taste, and then started again. The warm water brushed past my lips slowly. The birds weren't so deafening anymore. I had to pause for a moment to breathe. After that, I heard her shuffle closer, and a cautious hand began to rub up and down my back; she was really trying. It mattered.

My eyes wandered across the trees. The afternoon light sifted through the leaves, discoloring the dirt and vegetation with shifty splotches of brightness. Her head leaned calmly against my shoulder. I felt so tired now.

"I'm sorry you're not having a good time."

I scoffed, glancing over at her. Our foreheads brushed together, and she closed her eyes for a moment, then opening them. Getting past the sweat, this felt right. Each time I got close enough to her to see, her eyes always seemed to have changed, just a little. The flicks of color, the deep rivets of her irises, the tiny specks of golden brown: somehow, they'd dance around when I wasn't watching, and when I'd look again, they'd be in different places than I remembered. Slowly, I leaned in and pressed my mouth against her lips.

When I pulled back, she was cringing.

"Tam, I washed out my mouth."

She stuck out her tongue as if to retch. I groaned.

"I wiped it off, and I cleaned it out. You literally watched me."

She stood up. "I can still smell it." I rolled my eyes.

"Good grief."

"It's gross!"

"Tell me about it. I ate bugs, too. Can you smell that?"

"Ick." She turned right on her heel and started up the trail without me, not even looking back. I shook my head and stood, a smile grazing my lips.

"Am I sleeping in a different tent tonight?" I called.

"Maybe."

"Oof," I chuckled. "That hurt."

"Your breath hurt."

"Yikes."

She was halfway up the hill ahead of me.

"Tam."

"Barf-breath."

"Baby."

She turned around and gave me a look. I couldn't help but grin. Her mouth fell open.

"Now you're enjoying yourself?"

I could only laugh.

"Are you happy?" she continued, fully facing me now so she could chastise me better. "Grossing me out makes you happy, doesn't it? I'm sure you're overjoyed right now."

"I should cook up bugs for you tonight."

She visibly gagged. My cackle filled the forest.

"You're the worst."

"I love you, baby."

"Go away."

"I won't cook bugs, I promise."

"I'm not talking to you anymore."

The dumb thing was, she wasn't kidding.

I sat there, staring at the tent roof. We'd finally gotten to the campsite for the night, pitched our tents, had dinner, and gone to bed. Ichigo and Orihime had been pretty talkative, and I humored them for a little, but Tam was quick to duck out for the night. I said she was tired. Ichigo and Orihime seemed to understand.

And now, we were sitting there in silence. I almost wondered if she was asleep, but I knew she wasn't. She lay turned away from me in her sleeping bag, but she didn't sound out at all.

I took in a deep breath.

"Are you just not going to talk to me?"

She didn't answer. Part of me wavered. Maybe she was asleep. My voice seemed so loud, even with the crickets. Ichigo and Orihime's voices had faded out a long time ago. I tried again, more hushed.

"Can I say I'm sorry?"

"For what?"

I was almost startled. She always had a sharp tongue when she was angry.

"Well, not for puking because that was out of my control."

"Sure."

"It was."

"You chugged an entire water bottle."

"Okay, well I'm sorry for being dumb."

"Good."

"And I'm sorry for grossing you out."

She didn't answer. That wasn't good. I sighed.

"What?"

The sleeping bag shifted suddenly, and she turned over to face me.

"Do you really not like this trip?"

I lifted my hands in the air, shrugging. "I don't know." I didn't know why she brought it up again. I wanted to drop it.

Her shoulders went limp and she laid on her back. I huffed.

"Look, I'm not trying to be a dick. It doesn't matter."

"No, what's wrong with our trip?" she demanded.

"There's nothing wrong with it."

"That's not what you said earlier." She cut into me. "You had a whole list of things to complain about back there. I want to hear them."

I held my fingers up to my mouth, harshly. She stopped talking, but her heated glare didn't cease.

"Why do you care if they hear?" she said. "Maybe you should complain to them."

"Tamaki, for fuck's sake."

"You've seriously been griping this whole time. From day one. Ichigo is your best friend."

"I know he's—"

"I thought you would be excited about this. I spent an entire week packing things up, buying all this nice shit for us so we'd be ready, and we'd have a good time, and now, all of a sudden, you hate it. Since when do you hate working out?"

"I don't hate working out. I hate bug-spray, I hate bugs, and I hate hotdogs that taste like butane torches."

"Then, you come up with the food next time."

"It's not the goddamn food, Tamaki."

"Really?" Now, her whispers were rising to the point where Orihime and Ichigo would hear them. "Then, enlighten me!" I hushed her again.

"Don't shush me."

I balled my fists. "Tam, quit it, or they'll hear."

"I don't care if they do. Why do you care? Why don't you wake them up and tell them how shitty this all is?"

"Tam!"

It was a little louder than I expected. My breath hitched, and I stopped. The crickets kept right on chirping, and the cicadas started up. They hissed for a long time, shrill and high, and then, the pitch started to wane, and they cut off. We were left in silence. Her breathing sounded off. I realized she was crying.

I unzipped her sleeping bag and pulled her into my arms. She didn't come easy; she didn't want to come. But when she got to me, she buried herself in me angrily, crying into my chest. Her breath against my skin was hot and moist. Everything was sticky. The night was supposed to get cool, but I'd been sweating this whole time barely wearing any clothes. Her sniffles almost blended in with the crickets outside. Her fists balled against my bare back.

"I'm sorry," I said. She didn't answer. She just squeezed me tighter, almost pushing the breath right out of my lungs. She was so mad. But she let go again, relaxing. I sighed. Her sobs had quieted.

"Tam?"

"What, Grimm." Her voice was muffled beneath me.

"Do you want to get married?"

She lifted her head out of my chest, sniffing, her face contorted into a confused expression.

"Is that what this is about?"

"I don't know, babe, it just bothers me."

"What bothers you?"

"How can they be so happy all the time?"

She stared at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, they're just happy!"

"What, and that's 'cause they're married?"

I shrugged, annoyed. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm willing to be proven wrong, that maybe it does make people happy."

She wiped her face off, trying to look collected. She propped herself up on one forarm, and her other arm went limp against her body, as if she had given up.

"I thought you didn't want to get married," she mumbled.

"Well, if it's gonna make me into some chatty, sing-song Disney-princess hiker, then maybe not."

She glared at me. "It won't. It will do anything but that."

"Well, then maybe it's plausible."

That didn't satiate her eyes. I sighed. The crickets seemed to mock me. I mumbled.

"I just want to feel like I'm with you. Like we're a unit or something."

She hesitated, looking at me. Her eyes were hurt.

"We are, though."

I pointed out in the direction of Ichigo and Orihime's tent. "Do you think they see us like that?"

"Grimm," she whispered. "They asked both of us to come."

"I know." My voice fell into nothing. Slowly, she leaned toward me. She scooted up close and laid down next to me, wrapping an arm around my bare torso. I pulled her in close.

"I see us that way," she murmured into my neck.

My brow was more tense than I had realized. I tried to let it relax, but it didn't feel quite right yet. I still wanted to be upset. I wasn't done with that. She resurfaced from below, looking at me.

"Do you see us that way?"

I swallowed. It felt strange.

"I wanna talk about getting married."

"You do?"

She didn't sound shocked. She just sounded like she was making sure it was still me in there. I wasn't sure whether it was anymore. I didn't know what I wanted.

"I just wanna talk about it again."

Her voice was quiet, though. I didn't think she would be so understanding. But she was. "We can do that. Tomorrow."

My mind still raced a little. I pulled her close again. Her lips pressed against mine, and my chest started to fly. I pulled back. She rolled over and I got on top of her. The sleeping back crinkled beneath us. I kissed her again. My lips trailed across her jaw, down to her ear. "Let me fuck you."

"Not right here." She almost sounded annoyed. But there was something in her voice that said otherwise.

"Yes, right here." She only sighed. But she let me in. I peeled off her top, then her bottoms. She pulled down my boxers, and I rubbed against her. She groaned. I echoed her, growling in her ear, and she gripped the back of my neck like claws. I kissed her shoulders all over, down her chest, wetly, blowing on each spot, and she shivered in the chills.

"You're gross," she whispered, her voice trembling. But she wanted anything but for me to stop. Her breath hitched when my fingers brushed her clit.

"I know."

I kissed her nipples, then down her stomach and into her crotch. Her legs spasmed, and she squirmed. She always just about kicked me in the face when I went down on her. Her mouth was clamped shut, her eyes closed tightly, face muscles flinched. Her eyebrows bent upward, as if in pain, but I knew better. I licked her, and a soft, closeted moan struck her vocal chords. She was soft beneath the crickets still, and I could hear the cicadas starting to go. I flicked my tongue again, not stopping. The locusts and crickets burst into shrieks, and she roared inside her closed mouth. When I finally slipped into her, rolling my hands back up her sides, she was breathing in pants with her lips pursed, whining, itching breaths escaping her nose. Her eyes ached for me, and I kissed her, her moans pouring into my mouth with every push I gave, my girth throbbing in her warmth, her cries only making it worse. She clung to me and I pressed my groans into her mouth until she pulled away, bracing herself against my shoulder. She breathed into my ears, biting the lobes, and I started to thrust even harder. Her nails dug into me, blood beating through my veins, and it hit.

We lay apart. The crickets chirped quietly again. I couldn't catch my breath.

I looked over at her, dazed. Her eyes were closed, a smile curling on one corner of her lips as she basked in orgasmic waves. I tried to roll over, to be with her, failed, and then tried again. I managed. Her arm lay flat, lazily out next to her. I took it and kissed her fingers. She turned her head toward me, couldn't quite keep her eyes open, but smiled. I draped my arm over her chest, and we shared her pillow. Our breaths steadied. The night cooled. The crickets sang.