September 2011
Daniel stood outside his former house, jiggling the keys, debating whether he should go in, or not. Since he and Vala separated, this was the first time he was picking the kids up, rather than them being dropped off. The separation was hard on everyone involved in their lives, there was a lot of yelling from Jack and Cameron, and Teal'c even sided with Vala. But they were getting used to the fact that the two weren't together. Being separated meant that Daniel was the last to know anything, with the children taking over the lives of everyone formally SG-1. Sam and Jack had little Grace, who was diagnosed with a heart murmur and underwent surgery to repair the small hole in her heart; Cameron and Penny who just announced their pregnancy, and surprise to everyone with the addition of Triplets to the group. Teal'c was a proud grandfather once again, and was spending his time now shuffling between the children of his friends, and his own grandchildren. Vala had remained in the house they shared with Lukas and Alexandra, while he moved back to the base. He saw his kids less now they weren't living together, but he made every effort to be there on weekends. Was he really turning into that Dad? It seemed he was…
He had spoken to his sister, who promptly yelled at him, and his parents didn't say much. He knew that leaving was not the most ideal way, but they weren't happy with each other, and after the yelling, screaming, crying, and talking rationally, it was decided they may just need a break.
Working up the courage, Daniel took a deep breath and knocked on the door, as he opened it to familiar surroundings. Lukas was toddling around pushing his toy vacuum as Vala looked up from the couch where she was dressing Alexandra-who most recently gave up her wailing constantly.
"Hi," he smiled as Lukas looked up and squealed. "Hey buddy."
"Hi Daniel," Vala smiled softly, as she hoisted Alexandra in the air. "We're almost ready."
"No rush, take your time," Daniel smiled as he reached down and took Lukas into his arms, placing a kiss on the child's head. More and more Lukas was looking a lot like him, with one remarkable difference, he had Vala's smile. Alexandra was starting to develop her looks, and true to her mother in all ways. "How are you Buddy?" Lukas responded by throwing his arms around Daniel's neck and burying his face. "I miss you too."
"Do you want to get his coat on? And maybe his boots?" Vala asked as she finished placing Alexandra in her car seat.
"Of course," Daniel replied quickly moving to the hall closet, where they kept the kids' outerwear.
"Where are you taking them?" Vala asked after a moment or two as she moved to collect some bottles from the counter.
"Uh, we're going to go to the Zoo," Daniel replied, knowing that Vala would be more than curious about his day with the kids. "Then we're having lunch with Teal'c, and I'll put them down for their naps, and then Teal'c said he'd come to the pool with us, so that they can swim. Well, Luke more than Lex. Then supper and home to bed?"
"Sounds good," Vala smiled. "I'm sure Lukas will enjoy it a lot." Nodding Daniel finished zipping up Lukas' coat and placed the child on his hip. "Do you want the double stroller?"
"Um, you know what, I was just going to bring the wagon for Luke, he seems to like that."
"Okay," Vala nodded. as she handed Daniel the diaper bag. "Two sets of clothes for each, diapers for each of them, a couple bottles for Alexandra."
"Vala, I know," he said as Vala nodded in response.
"Well, have fun."
"We will," taking the car seat that held their youngest, Daniel smiled softly at Vala, who returned it. He felt guilty every single day that their relationship had to be like this. That their children, both under two were already being shuffled between homes.
"I love you," Vala kissed Lukas on the lips and accepted his hug. "Be good for Daddy."
Daniel smiled at the interaction and guided Lukas who held very tight to his father's hand as they moved out of the house. Lukas who was just over a year and a half, picked up walking quite quickly, and only liked to be held on his terms.
By the time Daniel arrived back at the house, a sleeping Lukas on his chest, and a sleeping Alexandra in her car seat, he elbowed the doorbell, hoping that Vala would understand there was no extra arm available.
Opening the door, she smiled, and reached for Lukas, who started to protest, and gripped onto Daniel. "Take her," he whispered as Vala took the car seat from his hand, and allowed him to move inside. Reaching to take the baby, she lifted her into her arms, and smiled at Daniel. "I'll put him down, and then come and put her down."
Nodding, she shifted Alexandra, and followed Daniel upstairs. If it was one thing she loved, Lukas slept like his father, and most recently would go to bed far easier when Daniel put him to bed. She understood it, really, she did, Lukas loved Daniel, and without him, he felt lost, and confused.
Settling into the rocking chair, as Alexandra opened her eyes, Vala smiled. Her favourite time, right before bed, she carefully guided Alexandra to her breast, and let the little girl start to eat. She loved the feeling, bonding with her child, and knew she would soon stop, when she started to cut teeth, much like she did with Lukas.
She was unaware of how much time passed, when Daniel walked into the dimmed nursery. He loved Lukas' bright bedroom, it suited the little boy, but Alexandra's, painted grey, and highlighted in white and pale pink. He remembered when they did the nursery, he expected Vala to choose bright colours, full of life, but when she held up a small pink rabbit, and said nothing was to go brighter than that, he spent more time buying different shades of grey and painting until Vala was satisfied.
He moved to sit on the round ottoman that sat beside the rocking chair and gently touched the baby's head.
"I miss you." Vala said nothing, and let Daniel speak. "I miss my family. I miss Lukas' giggle and laughter, and I miss building blocks with him. I miss holding Lex, and seeing her eyes flutter open, and her toothless grin beam at me every morning… But I miss you, the most. You're the mother of my children, and the only woman I could love." Not saying anything, Vala dropped her head and looked at the now sleeping baby, barely holding on to eat. "Vala…" Noticing the single tear that dropped from her face, Daniel reached to take the baby, and placed her in the crib. Turning around, she hadn't moved, and Daniel could tell, she was trying to figure everything out.
She looked up after a moment, and looked at Daniel in the dim, warm light that was Alexandra's room. "I love you Vala."
"I love you too," she whispered standing up, and moving into his open arms. When Daniel left at the start of July, she was sure that he never loved her.
"I do love you," he murmured into her hair. "I'm sorry I left."