Chapter 17: Prayers
The rich and mournful voice of a soprano prima donna filled the old toolshed nestled on top of an old apartment building, out of the wind for now and close to the train tracks. The female singer's sad voice rose up even over the sound of the wind moaning through broken glass, clear and vibrant, even with the small crackles and slight static noises that came from the old recording. The words were in some foreign language, probably Italian, but there could be no doubt that the opera singer was absolutely heartbroken.
Absently, I reached out with my foot and tapped the large button on the side of the music cube.
The music changed to a slow country ballad, where the rich baritone voice of a man mourned the lonely nature of his life with a distinct southern twang over the strums of guitar strings.
I lifted my head and narrowed my eyes at the cube suspiciously, and then slowly and deliberately tapped the button with my foot again.
Amidst heavy guitars and drums, an emo rock band began belting out a song about darkness and pain and the general unfairness of life.
Oh, for the love of...
Leaning forward away from the air vent, where I had been taking advantage of what little warm air was coming out as I shivered slightly in the cold air of early winter, I reached out and grabbed the music cube, turning it off as I picked it up and glaring at it.
I just spent a whole day trying to get some desperately needed sleep while huddled up here against the vent in an effort not to freeze to death. It became painfully obvious very quickly just how spoiled I had become by the Hamatos and their warm, quiet sanctuary. I kept jumping at every loud car noise and sound of someone yelling, and I found myself missing the little hut with its hammock and piles of pillows, with only the sound of the waterfall by the pond.
"Listen..." I growled at the inanimate hunk of plastic and metal. "I'm cold, tired, and depressed enough as it is. I don't need you making things worse."
And now I was arguing with a fancy radio. I wasn't even out of New York City, and I was already losing it.
I sighed. Music right now would only potentially draw attention to my hiding place anyways, I supposed. I set the now silent music cube next to a simple pillowcase that I was using as a travel satchel, currently opened to display a lovingly worn out teddy bear and a carefully folded empty Taiyaki bag covered in drawings of happy cats.
Next to the pillowcase, train schedule brochures and schedules were scattered about. As near as I could figure, the train to begin my long journey south would be passing by in a little over an hour. I could easily climb aboard one of the cars unnoticed, and leave New York City and all the humans it held far behind me.
If I wanted to keep the Hamatos and myself safe, I would be on that train in an hour, making my way down to New Orleans, and, from there, through Mexico and eventually deep down into Central America. It was the obvious decision.
I sat back against the wall and picked up my pen again, once again staring at the blank paper of the notebook resting on my knees.
The Hamato brothers and their father deserved an explanation, and I was determined to write each of them their own personal letter, telling them just how I felt, and why I had made the decisions I did.
But the words just didn't want to come out.
I couldn't keep pretending to be their pet forever. Just like they couldn't forever keep pretending I could be their brother, no matter how much we all wished that it could be so. This wasn't some fairy tale or cartoon that could have a happy ending. Cruel reality would eventually have to set in, as it always did, and my existence as a mutant would bring them only trouble.
In fact, that reality already had begun to rear its ugly head back in the sanctuary. The confrontation with Dun and his minions already almost forced the brothers into an impossible choice between protecting me, and the clan's well being. My very existence almost tore a schism in the clan in less then three weeks.
The brothers were the Hamatos, the head family of an extremely powerful clan, and I would only hurt their position. Raph may have claimed that most of the clan would side with them, but, if it came down to it, would they really? I had no doubt that many of them were loyal to the brothers, but what would the clan think about being asked to possibly lay down their lives to protect the Hamato's pet turtle? How much would their friends and allies resent being asked to do such a thing. No, it was obvious that my presence would only undermine the Hamato's authority, and cause them trouble. And while I no longer doubted that the Hamato brothers would be willing to sacrifice everything they had to protect me, I wasn't willing to let them make such a sacrifice.
I already once watched somebody sacrifice their life to save me. If the EPF came after me again, and one of the Hamato brothers ended up...
A lump formed in my throat, and I took a shaky breath, not allowing that thought to finish as I pulled the old blanket up closer around me, shivering.
No. They didn't need a big brother. They didn't need me. They needed their father, and he was back now. That, at least, I had been able to do for them. He could protect them where I could not.
The cold wind moaned overhead, rattling the old, broken windows, and I shivered despite myself.
It wouldn't be that bad, living down in the jungle. I would be warm, at least, and I could spend the daylight hours out in the open and as I wished, without fear of humans. I was strong and clever, and I could probably carve out a fairly comfortable living down there somehow.
I looked down at the blank paper in front of me. Maybe... maybe once I was settled in, I could keep writing letters to the Hamatos. I could even try and send them some souvenirs they might like, if I could snag them and figure out how to mail them. Of course, getting letters in return would be tricky, but I might be able to figure something out. It... it would be nice if I could at least get the occasional letter from them. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so alone.
And suddenly I realized a tear was running down my face.
Growling angrily, I wiped it away before it could escape and stain the paper.
The sound of voices faintly drifting up from outside caught my attention. I listened for a moment, then set aside the notebook and pen, pushing myself up away from the warm vent and pulling the blanket up tightly around me as I crept up to one of the broken windows to peek out.
There was a group of human children walking down the street, laughing and chatting animatedly with one another, small puffs of condensed air fogging up the air with each breath.
From my hiding place, I watched how easily and casually they interacted, obviously completely comfortable with one another.
There were four of them. Four brothers, perhaps?
One of them skipped ahead, and playfully tossed a basketball to one of the others, who caught it with a laugh.
A small, shy smile flittered across my face as I watched them, fascinated.
I... had never played basketball before. Master Splinter had done his best while raising me, but he was still a very old rat, and most of the games we played were either Go, chess, or a few card games with the dog eared deck of cards we owned, mostly strategy games. I had never experienced the rough and tumble physical games one would play with siblings.
Despite myself, I chuckled and shook my head. I could vividly imagine both Raph and I collapsed against one another on the floor of the basketball court, out of breath and completely exhausted, but at the same time, both of us equally and stubbornly determined to get just one more shot in to break the tie. And then Donnie would come stomping in, scolding us while pushing bottles of water into our hands, while Mikey would pick up the basketball and examine it, cheerfully complimenting us on our techniques, and eagerly offering to show me some of the games he knew as well, once I had caught my breath again.
I closed my eyes, my wistful smile slowly disappearing.
...
I... I couldn't do this.
Oh gods, I didn't want to be alone.
I didn't want to know what would become of me after years of loneliness wore away at my sanity.
And... I wanted to be their brother. I wanted to be their big brother so very badly that it made the core of my very being ache.
Tears pricking my eyes and my breathing growing hoarse, I looked yearningly to my pillowcase with my most treasured possessions, the physical reminders of my memories of the brothers, then to the train schedule laying next to it.
Perhaps...?
With Master Yoshi awake now and able to keep the brothers safe, maybe I could...?
For a little bit, anyways?
Please?
And I honestly didn't know just whether my desperate prayers were for the gods of fate, or for my own stubborn soul to finally relent.
But at that moment, I heard a strange mechanical humming and the human children outside give yelps and cries of annoyance and alarm, and I immediately straightened up and turned back to the broken window.
A large military tank took up nearly the whole road as it noisily rolled its way down the nearly empty street, moving with hardly any care for anything in its way. The boys were now up against the wall, obviously bullied out of the way, and watching it go by with wide eyes.
An involuntary noise made its way in the back of my throat, and I crouched down, my heart pounding wildly.
Emblazoned boldly on the side of the tank were three large letters next to an unmistakable emblem that had long ago been seared into my mind.
The EPF.
Agent Bishop's Earth Protection Force.
My first instinct was to bolt, to run as far away from Agent Bishop and his lab filled with half living creatures floating comatose in tubes of liquid and metal tables with shackles next to trays of saws and drills. They were looking for me. I just knew it, and if they caught me...
But then I saw that escorting the tank were dozens of tiny, raptor-like robots with large, rounded heads.
I blinked, and looked closer. They looked familiar... I had seen a few of those down in the Hamato's lab. They were Dr Stockman's personal project, from what I understood. But there had only been a few of them, not a whole army! Where had all these come from, and, more importantly, why were they down there with the EPF?
Unless Dr Stockman had secretly been working with...
But he if was... then that would mean that most likely Darius Dun would be...
A whole new layer of fear washed over me, and I quickly threw aside the blanket and scrambled to shove the music cube into the cloth bag, leaving behind the train schedules and travel brochures as I bolted out of the toolshed and began racing across the rooftops at almost reckless speeds.
I was such an idiot!
I had thought that with Master Yoshi awake once more, Darius Dun would be taken out of the picture. I hadn't thought that he would actually try to take over the clan by force. He wouldn't have had the resources to do so even if he tried!
But if he had allied with the EPF...
I pushed myself to run even faster, fear making my heart pound wildly in my chest.
Please... let them be okay!
I hadn't even been gone a full day, but if anything had happened to my brothers while I was gone, I would never forgive myself!
Author Notes:
Huh. Noticed you kinda switched to possessive pronouns at the end there, Leo...
...
Inner Chibi Leo: *grabs the three Hamato Brothers* I like these. Imma put them in the 'Family' category.
Inner Logic Leo: *stops him in a panic* Don't do that! If you put them there, you know as well as I do that we can't ever take them out. It's a forever thing!
Inner Chibi Leo: *pauses and thinks about it* Okay. *After a moment, slowly starts not-stealthily-cat-like pushing the brothers towards the said debated mental Family category*
Inner Logic Leo: *glares and thwaps him with an imaginary rolled up newpaper* Nooooo... Stoppit! We can't! Not if we don't want anybody to get hurt! There's so many reasons why we can't be family! For both our sake and theirs, we can't!
Inner Chibi Leo: *pouts with Big Puppy Eyes* But I waaaant them!
Inner Logic Leo: *crosses arms* Well, there's a lot of things in life we want that we don't get. That's just the way things are. We can't be their brother, as much as we want to. We'll only put them in danger.
Real Leo: Wait... Are those... are those Mousers marching outside? But... but that would mean...
Inner Logic Leo: THEY'RE IN DANGER?! *grabs the Hamato Brothers and shoves them firmly in the Family Category protectively* We need to go back and protect our brothers!