Disclaimer; As always I own nothing and my beta is my better half. This turned out darker than I ever intended, but I always knew Sirius would have had a bad childhood so I'll put a warning before Severus steps in and as I knew that much I wrote it to be skippable. Unfortunately James Potter turned darker than I ever expected, however as I knew this would be gloomier, anything which is story related will be told far more gently to the kids.
It was at Albus' heeding that they waited until Boxing Day to worry Madam Pomfrey about Sirius, as the aged wizard was fully aware that it would be pure folly not to have her supervising the males. Although he was almost certain that only himself, Severus and possibly Sirius were aware of just how dangerous what the young Potions Master was going to attempt. Remus had however showed his perception with the question of why Severus would need Madam Pomfrey, and had paled when Severus bluntly told him that he'd be magically exhausted, it was dawning on him how risky this was. Not for Sirius…it couldn't get any worse for the innocent man but for Severus…their childhood enemy was putting a huge risk for them. Yet as he studied the dour man he suspected that it wasn't for Sirius' sake at all it was for the girls.
Before long both were laying opposite each other, although the dog was less than impressed about being on his side leading to Minerva casting a full body bind on him. Severus took a deep breath and cast, dreading seeing how bad Sirius' mind was and also the toll it would put on himself.
Severus gently pushed passed the dog thoughts which had begun to take over and reached deeper. Tattered remains of Occlumency shields pushed weakly against the dog and reached him, pushing feebly before recoiling and letting him pass as Sirius won momentary control over them. The Black Heir had once had formidable shields but now they hung in tatters barely able to keep his animagus form at bay let alone a Legilimens.
As he moved deeper he found himself wanting to recoil, he was beginning to grow cold, shadows of despair clinging to him as he moved while it was true that the mind was a many layered thing, moving was ordinarily akin to mentally walking deeper and further through a maze. Yet Sirius' mind was similar too stepping into a fortress, which was breaking and crumbling, several times he nearly fell through the 'floor' and a couple of times he nearly vomited when he encountered a dementor, while just a memory it was horrific in it's own right not just because it should never have been there but also because the dark, cold shadows which were everywhere clung to him. His own resolve almost wavered but the image of Lily in his mind pushed him forwards, a personal shield against the freezing dread.
It took what felt like centuries to reach the centre, the dwindling weak orb which floated there was cracked and leaking. The despair was strongest here and were he not as accomplished as he was he'd have succumbed to Sirius' mental construct of his magic, but he took a deep breath and approached only to be stopped. A tiny wavy haired child stood there, huge grey eyes were watering as he stared up at Severus, bottom lip trembling, "It's better you don't. Don't try to save me, you'll just get everyone you care about killed." As the eyes met Severus' images of Lily, James, Harry and Draco dead in the most gruesome way slammed into his mind, although he realised that it wasn't his mind creating them with James' appearance and he was only more certain when Hagrid and Miss Parkinson were added to the mix. He took a deep breath, shook of the hand of the child and slammed his hand into the glowing orb.
Memories slammed into him and he let them wash over him, not letting them affect him as he searched for the real core of Sirius' magic, the one he'd found was just a fake one although he doubted the man was even aware of that. He finally found the thing but even here despair was prominent and it felt as though it was draining his own will power. It was his determination and refusal to fail that gave him the strength to push through the despair to reach the orb. Slamming his hand down he let himself sink in. For a moment it felt like he was falling before he found himself stopping and he could feel Sirius all around him, it took a moment to centre himself before he had the strength to draw on his own magic and gently feed it through himself and into Sirius. He knew the instant it was received because he felt as though he was falling again but it was only his own understanding of what he was doing that stopped him from panicking. He fell into a series of emotions before true memories started to happen, every thought that went through the other man's mind at the time including feelings slammed into him. He had slight regret that Sirius would be going through the exact same thing if only because of the state of the other's mind.
***can be skipped*** Child Abuse warning in place although written in as little detail as possible***
Severus found himself as a toddler being held at arm's length by a furious woman who was shrieking for a 'Kreacher' who he was foisted off onto to be changed before food was withheld as apparently it was improper for a pureblood of his age to not be toilet trained. Time flew by, he saw a young Bellatrix burning his teddy because boys shouldn't have soft toys and felt the toddler's sadness when his mother just smacked him for crying about it as his elder cousin was right. Claiming it should have been taken away ages ago.
Severus found himself sympathising more as over the years it got worse until at the age of five he found himself being chastised for not having displayed magic yet as well. Although they mostly ignored him and withheld food frequently as a punishment, the child was mostly the one in charge of ensuring that a young Regulus didn't make a mess and stayed quiet.
He experienced the first outburst of accidental magic that same year when his elder cousin tried to burn his little brother's hand as well as toy. While his mother was visibly relieved that he'd had an outburst, he felt the pain of the stinging hex and the gnawing of an empty stomach as he was locked into his room for throwing his precious cousin into the wall. After that he was put through gruelling lessons, teaching him to read and write, stinging hexes quickly became the norm for making a mistake while he often went to bed hungry.
It wasn't until he was seven that Severus experienced how the Black's taught Occlumency, as he was stuck to a chair and his mind invaded repeatedly, every failure resulting in a charmed slipper hitting his legs. That same year Sirius perfected avoiding angering his parents, his pureblood mask freaking Severus out the first time he saw it in the mirror, the blank face staring back at him. A perfect posture, the boy mostly staying silent except when alone with his little brother, he didn't react to jibes or digs not even to Bellatrix's cruel tormenting during dinners and dancing lessons.
Severus experienced the joy and delight of going to Hogwarts and meeting James the first time, someone who was nice to him followed rapidly by the crushing fear that the boy would never speak to him after he was sorted, and the dread as to what his parents would do if he was sorted in a way that would allow him to remain friends with the boy. It intrigued him seeing James through Sirius' eyes, the boy was beautiful and charismatic everything Sirius wished he was brave enough or loved enough to be and be around. Bile rose in his throat when he saw himself through his borrowed eyes, the thought that he was exactly the same slamming into him with strength to make him nearly gasp, but the shock was swallowed when Sirius saw Lily and internally realised that he was wrong. Snape wasn't like him, he had someone who cared about him.
The sorting was interesting, Sirius had hid his fear and worry to the hall as he'd felt as though he was walking to his funeral. The hat dropping down over his eyes was interesting when it kept insisting for Slytherin until the boy hesitantly asked for Gryffindor. The hat had laughed and pointed out that he wasn't a good fit for Gryffindor but the boy had found his resolve from somewhere. Hesitantly pointing out that him asking was proof enough that he would be brave enough given that the hat could see what he fully expected to happen if he ended up there. Laughter filled his mind but the hat did sort him.
The fun of those first few weeks was marred by the fear of what would happen when his parents wrote and it only grew when none arrived. The dark haired boy growing increasingly resentful that Lily was still friends with the Snape boy despite them being in different houses while he knew that James would never have looked twice at him if he'd been in Slytherin. That said the bitterness didn't reach a head until Halloween when the young Gryffindor got lost on the way to the great hall having been held back by Slughorn and sending his friends on ahead. He'd been wandering around through the dungeons when he'd ran into his cousin…Bellatrix sneered at him and the first year quickly became aware of her betrothed behind him. Sirius took a deep breath, fixing his mask and posture, "Can I help you Cousin?" His tone was cordial but blunt and completely concealed the fear that Severus was feeling from him.
The elder Black smiled benignly at him, walking towards him with the grace of a huntress and Sirius took a step back. His heart in his mouth when he backed into Rodolphus as he recalled quickly that showing weakness to Bellatrix was dangerous and he'd done just that. She ran her nail over his cheek "Awww is ickle Siri scared?" Sirius tried to calm his heart, "I only wanted to tell you that Auntie said she's so looking forward to you coming home for Christmas." The sadistic witch slipped her arm through his and beamed at him, "Let me tell you all about what she's got planned while you escort us up to the great hall."
Severus recalled that that was the last day he'd gotten peace from Sirius Black and while he hated that he'd been the target he did find himself feeling sympathetic.
Sirius had been about to write his name down to stay for Christmas when James had suggested that he could stay with him for the holidays which was what had led to the boy joining them on the train home. Severus experienced what he now knew was Sirius' best Christmas ever and the boy had effortlessly pushed aside the fear for the summer holidays.
The summer came just too quickly for Sirius as Severus remembered it had for him, and the boy had been hoping to slip off with James again but this time his cousin wasn't taking that risk as Bellatrix had appeared gripping his shoulder harshly and pulling him off to sit with her. Andromeda and Narcissa were nice to him although Severus didn't miss the weary looks the former gave to Bellatrix. Sirius had been transferred to his father, whose mask was very carefully in place but the boy could see the fury and rage leaking around it. He sprawled on the floor the instant that they arrived and his Father didn't even look at him as he stepped onto him rather than over to head off down the corridor. A pale faced Regulus had helped him to his room but Sirius was getting angry about how helpless he was especially after experiencing the Potter's household and yelled at him to leave him alone. His Mother heard and before he knew it Severus got his first taste of what a head of house could do to their family members. The Black family magic crushed Sirius to the floor the boy crying out in pain as Severus felt bones break in his hands. "How dare you raise your voice to your Brother!" Sirius bit back a scream, "He's twice the wizard you are." His vision gave out and when Severus came around the door was gone as was his wand, only books he needed for his homework and ones on the dark arts remained. Severus didn't know how Sirius had been as sane as he was considering that he existed on a bowl of gruel a day until he was finally let out when his Grandfather came to take him to the Potter's. He was barely conscious but felt the fear when the elder wizard yelled at his parents calling Sirius his heir and while he was to some extent grateful but at the same time he was afraid of what they'd do in reprobation. None the less he was resentfully grateful when his Grandfather healed him before handing him over to Dorea Potter.
The next year passed without much to note other than Sirius sticking closer to James as Bellatrix took every opportunity to torment him and on more than one occasion curse him. Summer came quicker than the Black Heir would have preferred but this time he managed to avoid his family until he arrived on the platform. His father took him home and pretty much ignored him, neither of his parents speaking to him until his Mother stalked into his room and told him he'd be dressing appropriately to attend a dinner. Sirius had been sulky but he'd been told to stay silent unless spoken to and act as though he was a proper Pureblood. Unsurprisingly after the first few insults towards his friends, he lost his temper and stormed out, his Mother's expression promising pain and in panic, he flooed to the Potter's for the rest of his summer. His truck was dropped off by his Grandfather and again Severus relived another boring year although this one was better as Bellatrix had graduated along with her psycho betrothed. Even the following summer was better although that was mostly due to his Grandfather turning up frequently and unexpectedly.
The year though took a turn for the worst when his brother started hanging around with the other junior Death Eaters and Severus felt the fear that his brother would get killed or worse turn into a younger Bellatrix however fourth year passed like the previous and it wasn't until the summer that things got worse again.
Sirius' Mother and Father decided to take Regulus abroad and given their view of their elder son, they dropped him off at his cousin's house…Sirius was furious when he was told but Severus felt the fear that fed the rage. As always Bellatrix was perfectly pleasant to his parents but once they'd left, Sirius found himself being locked into the guest room, the window was sealed, not to mention he didn't have his broom. Rabastian was perfectly pleasant to him but far too nice. His cousin spent some time mocking his friends, and he tried to block it out but he could only do so much.
The instant he slipped up, a curse was already hitting him and he fell to the ground as blood spread across his back. Laughter met his ears as Rodolphus dropped him into the room, Severus had recognised the curse as one which the insane witch had perfected in later years and it was clearly not the perfected version as if it was Sirius would have been killed back then although Sirius still lost consciousness, his back a raging mess of pain. Severus found himself disgusted to realise exactly where the witch had learned to control the pain and damage that she caused with that particular curse. However Sirius wasn't the only one confused when he came around to find Rabastian tending to his back, the younger Lestrange didn't speak and left the instant he'd spelled a couple of blood replenishing potions into the younger teen.
It was several more curses and healings later that the younger Lestrange finally and hesitantly smuggled the younger teen to the floo. Sirius spent the rest of the summer with his Grandfather although he was too proud to explain why but the elder man looked as though he suspected that something had happened.
That school year had started normally for Sirius that is except from him noticing Rabastian watching him as often as possible, Severus was feeling Sirius' confusion and fear when he quickly became aware that the elder teen was virtually stalking him. Severus was worried when he felt the Black Heir was getting anxious about people finding out Remus' secret, especially when he saw Regulus making a snide remark about it being a shame if someone were to find out where they all vanished to on a full moon. His panic only growing when he got cornered by Rabastian and asked what they were up to, so when Snape approached him just after Sirius had escaped from the elder teen and snidely asked why they all snuck over to the Whomping Willow on a full moon. Sirius blurted it out, Severus was horrified to see the smug expression on his own face even as he felt Sirius' worry but also the younger teen thinking that Snape was way too smart to have not figured it out and that Lily knew so she'd never allow him to go down there.
Severus was surprised when he saw the fury and disgust on Potter's face before he dashed off, the loathing on his own young face when the three sat before Dumbledore wasn't surprising although Severus didn't recall the elderly Headmaster asking Sirius to stay behind. The young Black heir sat there staring at his hands, his disgust at himself only growing when Dumbledore broke through his thoughts, "I know that you do not get along with your family, however you should not allow yourself to take it out on others. You'll be serving detention until Christmas and resuming them after the holidays. You won't be allowed to visit Hogsmead or to play Quidditch and I will be informing your parents. Now run along to your dorm. Professor McGonagall will tell you what your detention will be tomorrow." Severus felt the hatred and resentment growing the young teen wanting to scream that clearly if that was the case he'd have stepped in. His eyes were burning as he bolted. Severus felt himself feeling sorry for the young Sirius especially as the boy stepped into his dorm to receive a blow around the face from Potter and to see his own bed had been moved well away from the others.
It took a couple of weeks for Sirius to manage to corner Remus and explain that it had been an accident, the young werewolf sneered and shook his head but Severus was surprised to realise that Sirius had blurted out the whole sorry affair to him. Lupin scowled and muttered that while he believed him he still needed time to forgive him. It was a dejected Black heir who found himself at the top of the astronomy tower, he just sat back against the parapets and put his head in his hands. "Sirius?"
A soft voice caused him to raise his head and he scowled, "What do you want?" his voice was slightly choked as he struggled with his emotions.
"Hey. There's no need for that." Rabastian plonked himself down beside him, "I noticed you've not been yourself lately," He bit his lip staring at the sky, "I thought I'd see if you were alright."
Sirius scoffed, his distrust and thoughts rushing through Severus, 'he wants to turn me. That's the only reason. Don't fall for his tricks Black. Don't do it.' Although the elder wizard watching and experiencing found himself wondering something else, if Rabastian had genuinely cared for the young Black. Sirius shook his head, "Of course I'm not. My friends all hate me and the only one willing to talk to me is a Death Eater in training." His lips twisted and he ignored the pain on the elder teens face as he rose to his feet, "Stop stalking me Lestrange. Leave me alone."
With the event having happened early October it wasn't until just before Christmas that Potter graced Sirius with his presence. "You'll be coming to mine for Christmas." It wasn't a question and Severus felt his disgust at James grow even as he felt Sirius' delight and hope that his best friend was forgiving him.
"It was an accident James. I swear on my life and magic." The rash teen uttered even as a flash of light left his wand, Severus found himself furious at how reckless Sirius had been but also pitying the teen who'd come up with it as a way to get James to talk to him again. He'd just been trying to get him alone. When he, with calmness Severus knew Sirius wasn't feeling, summoned a book Potter's face lit up and he slung an arm around him deciding that they'd better go flying as it had been a while since he'd had someone decent to fly against.
Sirius stepped onto the train at James' side pleased that for the first time in a while they were all together again, it wasn't until he'd gotten off of the train that his luck took another turn for the worse as a delighted Regulus spotted him and called him. Severus felt Sirius' heart falling as he was dragged over to his Parents and he dreaded another holiday with them.
To both Severus' and Sirius' disgust his parents were far more cordial than usual however Regulus was frequently scowling at him and increasing his disgust at himself. It did however come to a head when his brother slammed him into the wall and hissed "I bet you're proud. Mother and Father are so happy that you're finally trying to kill half-bloods." He brought his head closer and his lips twisted, "You're just jealous because Severus is a far better man than you will ever be." And with that parting jibe, he released him and swept into his own room. Sirius blinked fervently as he slipped into his own room, sliding down the door in shock as his throat tightened and he felt like he was choking.
It was all too soon that Kreature appeared, telling him to change and head down for dinner. The young Black heir had barely gained control of himself and was trying to get dressed when he came face to face with his father. "Boy. We're having guests for dinner." His expression gave nothing away, especially as he held out a vial of potion, "Either you drink this and dress appropriately or I spell it into you and dress you myself."
Severus felt the horror and disgust, but also the suffocating feeling of not having a choice, Sirius' hand shook slightly as he took the vial before downing it and taking the clothes Kreature had set out for him. Certain that he'd taken it his father left, telling him to be down in a few minutes. Initially Sirius didn't feel any different, but Severus had quickly figured it out and was fighting his disgust that Sirius' Father would drug him to ensure he couldn't embarrass them, in fact he wouldn't notice until he tried to say anything his father didn't approve of.
To Sirius' surprise the dinner wasn't just family, in fact there was several that he didn't recognise and it didn't take long until he tried to rebut something someone had said only to discover that he couldn't speak. It evidently wasn't everything because he'd already made small talk and reluctantly greeted people, he rapidly felt more awkward when his brother wouldn't even look at him let alone speak to him and Rabastian was eyeing him from down the table. Severus almost vomited when he realised who Sirius had been seated beside, that his parents had not only invited Greyback to dinner but placed him next to their son, sent shivers up his spine and he wondered what they were up to. He recalled that Dumbledore had mentioned that Sirius had run away when it got particularly bad and found himself nauseous realising what he'd lived through prior to that. He dreaded getting to that particular event, nervous as to what had led to the stubborn male actually running away.
It was after the tense meal that Sirius had been sneaking off to the bathroom with the full intention of hiding in his room until it was over that Severus was horrified to witness Sirius being cornered by the blood thirsty werewolf. "You were rather quiet during dinner." The man had spoken his lips curling.
"…I couldn't think of anything nice to say." He couldn't say what he'd really wanted to and his fury at that managed to leak through to his tone. Severus found that his heart was in his mouth as the teen spoke.
"You smell of him." The man stepped closer, forcing Sirius to back into the wall, "My little cub. If rumours are to be believed you tried to help him embrace his true nature."
Both Sirius and his watcher nearly vomited, as the teen tried to find an escape, "I didn't." He managed, "It wasn't by choice." He was incapable of saying it was an accident. The man laughing just made him more weary and Sirius' eyes darted around for an escape, both from the stranger who he suspected was the psycho werewolf Remus had warned them about, and the man's bad breath.
The laughter turned harsh as he ran a filthy nail across the teens neck, "If only it was a full moon, you'd make a wonderful cub." He cackled insanely even as he was ripped away and a shaking Sirius found himself being shielded by Rabastian and Narcissa.
The pair both had their wands aimed at the insane beast, the only blonde Black spoke, "I suggest you leave before I miss aim and accidently take off your head." Severus blinked rapidly, wondering if this was why the blonde had always done her best to avoid the werewolf.
"Watch your back, girlie!" He snarled, "I'll be seeing you both." He laughed as he sauntered off licking the blood from his nail, Severus found himself seeing just the front of Rabastian's robes as Sirius' legs gave out and he was caught by the youngest Lestrange.
The rest of the holidays and indeed fifth year were good by what Severus was quickly deciding was Sirius' standards although he was almost bemused to see that James always seemed to prevent Rabastian from getting close to Sirius and that the Potter heir was frantic to keep Sirius' attention. He grew furious when he realised that that was the cause of the arrogant teen's humiliation of him in what was arguably the worst day of his life, he was slightly mollified to realise that although Sirius had laughed he'd also felt sorry for him and realised that what they were doing was wrong. Severus could feel Sirius was desperate to say something but after their argument earlier in the year he didn't dare.
Before long the resigned teen was on the train with his friends although he was anxious and kept pacing before he was put under a full boy bind. James insisted that he could turn up whenever he needed, even Remus insisting the same but the wavy haired teen shook his head with a smile claiming that he'd be fine.
His reception at home was decidedly chilly, his mother glaring at him and muttering about loose legs. Severus felt Sirius' confusion especially when he was back handed by his Mother and sent to his room. In his rage and confusion he quickly stuck the things he'd acquired onto the walls with permanent sticking charms, he'd grown resigned to being in trouble with his parents however he still resented not knowing what he'd apparently done this time. Severus suspected that part of his running away was caused by these, yet Sirius' peace was quickly broken by his father storming in, "How dare…" Whatever he'd intended to say was lost by the man's wordless rage upon seeing what his son had done to his room, the snarled curse hit him before he could react and Severus was horrified to feel the teen being subjected to the Cruciatus. Screams echoed around the room, the man just spat in disgust removing the window before leaving and locking the door behind him. Sirius just lay shaking on the floor, tears running down his face as he felt pain worse than anything he'd experienced before. It felt like years before he struggled to his feet and tried the door, finding it locked he sank down begging and pleading to be allowed to leave.
A soft tap on his door, silenced him, "I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't realise they'd react like this, when I saw you in Rabastian's arms I thought they'd be happy. He's a pureblood and on the correct side." Regulus pleaded with his brother through the door and pieces fell into place.
"They think I had sex with him." He spoke bluntly, bitterness heavy in his voice, "That's why Father decided to try his hand at an unforgivable." He heard the soft sobs from his little brother and for a moment Sirius was filled with sympathy but his pain quickly turned it to fury, "Just don't try to help me again. You'll just make it worse." He closed his eyes in regret as he heard footsteps and soft sobbing retreat away.
He'd been asleep when the door burst open and he was levitated onto his feet, the change of position sent pain flickering through him waking him instantly. "Dinner brat." A flick of the man's wand and a glamour covered him before he was roughly pulled downstairs to where Bellatrix was crying crocodile tears into a handkerchief. Sobbing about how it must have started when Sirius stayed with her and how ashamed she was that she hadn't noticed although she did suspect something was going on which was why they'd sent him to stay with his Grandfather. Sirius felt fury building as she painted both of them in the worse light possible with nothing but lies. He opened his mouth to refute her only to get a harsh twist of his arm. "None of your lies boy." His father hissed into his ear.
He was shoved roughly into a chair, as around him the adults discussed what to do with him. Bellatrix was pushing for a contract pointing out that herself and Rodolphus could get him back onto the right path if he was her brother-in-law. Sirius listened as they went backwards and forwards, his father pointing out that he was used goods so it was only right that Rabastian took responsibility for his actions. Severus found himself again trying his best not to vomit as they talked about Sirius as though he wasn't even a person just an object that had been devalued.
Yet again luck wasn't on Sirius' side as he tried his best to escape that night only to find the floo was blocked, his Mother upon finding out ensured that he 'fell' down the stairs. As he lay there panting in pain, she approached him and stooped to his level, "If you aren't around Regulus gets to be the heir. So it might be best if you had a little accident and died rather than bringing disgrace to our family."
Days passed for Sirius the teen being afraid to eat anything, his mother was getting increasingly obvious in her attempts to remove him from the equation. Rabastian's refusal to sign the contract was a very bad thing for Sirius, curses that he hadn't even known existed hit him and by the time he came around his throat felt raw. His luck had changed as the pair had left him alone in the study, his blood stained the floor and he weakly crawled to the door. His luck held as he managed to make his way out onto the front step, his realisation that he didn't have his wand sent horror rushing through him. Severus found himself confused as to how Sirius had escaped without a wand, which the Knightbus required. He heard the door behind him and Severus felt panic engulf him. As the memory shifted Severus was aware of the rush of magic and felt his jaw drop open, Sirius had accidently apparated?!
He woke up to find a drawn pale faced James Potter leaning over him, "Sirius? Sirius! Mum he's awake!" He soon saw a tired Dorea leaning over him and it was rapidly followed by his Grandfather appearing in his vision, his Grandfather was pale and looked terrified for him. He wondered if his Grandfather had done anything to his parents especially when James quietly told him that the head of house Black had retrieved his things and blocked his parents from leaving the house. Apparently he was also officially a ward of Dorea Potter.
The rest of the summer was a blur, Sirius had spent a fair portion of it bed-bound and sleeping. Nothing of interest really happened but before long they were back at Hogwarts, Sirius spent the first half of the year trying to convince James to lay off of Snape. Unbeknown to Severus he endured a fair amount of ribbing about having a crush on Snivellus, but the Black heir didn't back down and Severus found himself watching in confusion as he realised that Sirius was the cause of James leaving him alone even if his boredom had been why James used to torment him.
It was experiencing the latter part of that year that Severus broke the first memory charm. Sirius had been sprawled across his bed, trying to read when Potter had dumped himself down beside him, "Siri." James was unusually serious, the teen in question lay his book on his chest and looked up at his best friend waiting for him to continue. "I've been thinking. Amortentia should work on Evans."
Severus felt the shock and disgust that Sirius felt with the conversation, "you want to potion her to love you?" he was hoping he'd miss heard.
"Of course." James nodded, his lips twisting, "She's mine. She just doesn't know it yet. Plus it'll be natural, she'll fall for me and then I'll have what I want."
Sirius' eyes widened, he shifted backwards, certain that he must have miss understood but Severus was feeling horror rush up his throat as pieces fell into place that he didn't like at all.
"Siri?" James looked innocent, grabbing Sirius' shoulder, "You can't tell."
"James." Sirius felt like his throat was closing over and he coughed harshly to try to clear it, "You can't." he found resolve from somewhere, "I won't let you."
Severus had never seen Potter's expression change that quickly, as he watched James' lips twist, his eyes showing something he'd only seen in Bellatrix and despite knowing that Sirius would survive, he found himself fearing for his life and it was only partly his own fear. Sirius yelped as his chin was caught and James forced him to look at him, "Siri. I'm sorry." Confusion flooded Sirius and Severus wondered if this was the point that the memory charm happened, "You're too broken to be mine, but I'm not letting you go. Obliviate." Despite expecting the charm Severus found himself wondering what the Potter heir had meant about Sirius being too broken before realisation hit him. Suddenly Sirius' string of failed relationships and he found himself dreading how much involvement James had in some of them.
After experiencing that Severus found himself noticing James' darker side more than before especially when it was aimed at Rabastian and his eyes would flick between the two but Sirius was blissfully unaware.
*Child abuse over* *however still skip-able*
Severus didn't notice much difference until the elder Potter's were killed, James kept Sirius closer and the teen's life he was experiencing was never alone, James always turning up the instant he tried to get some alone time with a girl. Severus feeling sorry for how many of them James sent running when he slung his arm around the Black Heir and pulled him away. He was almost as bad with Lily but was more careful to stop her from being overwhelmed. It wasn't until they all graduated and Sirius started dating Marline McKinnon that Severus got suspicious of the looks James was giving her.
Another Memory charm had to be broken and Severus felt sick when he heard James threatening Marline to stay away from his Sirius. She'd scoffed and said that she wasn't afraid of him. James' expression had darkened and he'd leaned in close to say that he might have to send her to Rabastian. Severus frowned, fully aware that Rabastian was a Death Eater by this point and wondered what Potter had to do with that. Sirius however had bolted backwards to leave the room alerting Potter to his presence.
James had just sighed, immobilising Sirius and glaring at the woman, "Now look at that. I've got to fix him again." Once again the spell washed over Sirius and the young Black Heir went back to being unaware of his friend's insanity, although Severus was now suspicious about the true cause of the McKinnon massacre and found himself wondering just what Rabastian had to do with the whole thing. The realisation that the only person to have seen this side of James was Sirius or dead brought a whole new level of sickness to him.
In one of the battles against the Dark Lord, Sirius was separated from James, the curse which should have killed him was blocked by a quick conjuration but Severus could feel Sirius' exhaustion and pain when he was blasted backwards though the wall from the power of the curse. Sirius was dazed and when a white mask came into view, he was certain he was dead. However Severus recognised the wand the man held, Rabastian. The man in question put his hand over Sirius' mouth and pulled him out of the back of the building, a quick illusion hiding him. Sirius had blacked out at that point and Severus was confused as to what happened, although he knew that Sirius didn't get taken prisoner.
He woke to find himself incredibly confused and still rather dazed, but laying on a bed in what smelt like his own house. A wet cloth was being gently wiped over his face, he assumed he was hallucinating when he saw Rabastian leaning over him, especially when the door burst open and James stormed in.
"I told you to stay away from him." The head of house Potter snapped.
"…" Rabastian ignored him for a moment returning to tending to the barely conscious man who's memory of what he saw was blurry, "I…he was going to die. I couldn't leave him there Potter."
A yelp reached the confused patient's ears as his nurse was pulled away, "I'll let it slide this time but next time you'll die Lestrange. You don't get to touch him."
Sirius' world had had faded to black and when he woke next he was in the Potters house being tended to by Lily, a worried James sitting beside him. "Did anyone get the Death Eater who hit me?" A muttered idiot came from the man who ran his fingers though his hair staring at the injured man an unreadable expression on his face. Severus was growing increasingly concerned as to what the man (who he was beginning to discover was more insane than possibly even Bellatrix) would do next.
***Rape warning***Please skip if you do not wish to read***
The charm he encountered next had clearly been weakened by the dementors and upon breaking it Severus really wished that he hadn't. With any luck vomiting in a memory wouldn't have an effect on the person whose memory it was, as this time he was unable to stop himself. Sirius had been staying with the Potters not long after his injury when he'd been hit by an Imperius, a glamour and the Amortentia took care of the rest. Sirius was back in his own room laying on the bed when James Potter strolled in, sitting beside him and stroking his hair. "Did you enjoy it? It's a shame you won't get to remember."
Severus felt the repulsion and hatred emanating from Sirius as well as fury that he'd not been strong enough to resist the spell.
"Don't worry, I slipped you a little something to make sure it would work. Of course you'll be the god father and no-one other than me will know, but I need an Heir." Sirius was confused why make him be the father for James' heir, "You'll feel the bond and it'll make sure you never leave me for some bint." Sirius thought he was going to be sick. "Of course. You can't remember, it's lucky for you that I'm good with these." And the memory ended abruptly, Sirius losing consciousness and recalling nothing until many years later when Severus would break the weakened charm.
Time passed and Severus was shocked that James had forced Sirius into the room with Lily claiming that he needed his moral support, he was made the sworn god-father which was further proof to the former Death Eater that Sirius could never have been the traitor. An ancient spell which prevented the Godfather from intentionally or even unintentionally causing or bringing danger to the Godchild.
A twisted memory an August later led Severus to another horrific memory.
Sirius had been sitting playing with Harry when Lily had burst into the room, "Did you know?" She'd snapped, Severus had felt the confusion and concern from Sirius.
"Know what?" He'd asked in reply, quickly putting a silencing bubble over Harry, not wishing for the child to witness an argument even if he was apparently not old enough to understand.
"James. I found Amortentia. He's been potioning me." She was near tears and Sirius' eyes widened.
"…He's been what?! That. He. But." He couldn't think, a niggling feeling growing in his mind, "We should confront him." Lily had nodded and the two sat in an uncomfortable silence while they waited for the eldest Potter to return.
James' arrival had led to a full blown argument, thankfully the pair had thought to put Harry to sleep with a one way charm over him. The two asking him how long he'd been feeding Lily love potions, the man's expression had twisted and for a moment Sirius was suddenly reminded of his cousin and before either of the two could react their memories were twisted. Severus feeling horrified upon the discovering that James had made them forget about the potion and thinking they'd been arguing over who would be the secret-keeper instead with the messy haired man putting the idea of Peter being secret-keeper into Sirius' argument. Somehow Sirius still won despite or perhaps because of him and Lily being a fair bit dazed.
Severus was dreading watching that night but intellectually that he needed to pay closer attention to that horrible time and that which followed as it would help to clear Sirius whom he was now ever more certain that he was innocent.
Halloween dawned, Severus found himself watching Sirius going through his usual boring daily activities however as the day went on, the Black Heir's feeling of unease and a niggling feeling of having forgotten something grew and at nightfall, Sirius headed towards Godric's Hallow.
He arrived just too late…
Rushing into the lounge, he saw James sprawled on the floor and fell to his knees a guttural scream escaping him as it felt as though something within snapping within him. His eye sight was blurred as he made his way upstairs, falling to his knees before Lily as he sobbed for Harry. Sobbing out the toddler's name resulted in a weak cry from the ashy crib. He rose to his feet and rushed to the babe. 'Harry! Harry!' he wiped the blood from the scared child's face before muttering an infant healing spell, it took a couple of attempts to cast as his hand shook too much to aim. He scooped the child up and was heading out of the wreckage intending on heading straight to Hogwarts to get Madame Pomfrey to check his godson over, especially as he didn't know what the spell had been which had caused the injury.
Heading over to his bike when Hagrid stomped over, telling him to hand over Harry as Dumbledore wanted him to retrieve him. Sirius argued for a while, fury rising as Hagrid refused to back down, blocking his way to his bike. Harry crying again had Sirius conceding, and he carefully handed him over, telling him to take the bike and to get Harry to safety while he'd check on Peter before meeting him at Hogwarts.
Watching Hagrid flying away, his world felt bleak, Severus could only describe what he was feeling as the creeping chill and feeling of despair that came from Dementors as what he was experiencing.
Sirius however twisted and found the empty safe house where Peter was meant to be, by the time he had tracked the rat down, he was exhausted and running simply on the fact that if Peter was out there Harry wouldn't be safe. Finally cornered Peter just turned before screaming, "Lily and James how could you Sirius!" exhausted, Sirius couldn't react before the spell hit him, the two follow up spells barely registered to the charmed man. His hysterical laughter lasted until after the Aurors finally turned up, he never even saw who hit him but the next thing he was aware of was the dank, dark cell in Azkaban.
Severus watched in shock as the Dementors ignored him for the most part, seeming fascinated that he was a hive for bad memories yet none were as bad as those who which were locked behind impressive charmwork.
However he nearly laughed when Lucius handed him the tool to see him in put away, the blond had apparently been there to visit his sister-in-law. Bellatrix was only a couple of cells down and like Sirius was less affected by the Dementors, however Severus suspected that that was more because she relished her own bad memories, rather than having more than they knew what to do with, but the blond strolled over to Sirius' cell and leant nonchalantly against the cell door. "I could get you out you know. I know you weren't a Death Eater." The blond spoke softly, when Sirius felt hope for the first time since finding James, Lucius had just laughed cruelly, "But why would I." He'd still been laughing as he'd walked away.
A/N: If you read to the end of the chapter, I would like to thank you and also request no flames. There is no comedy added, in part because it didn't feel right but also due to the fact that I always knew Sirius had had a bad childhood (although I felt as though I was discovering this as I wrote it, my better half got a little annoyed when I kept going to him and telling him, apparently it sounded as though I was telling him about something I'd read but as I said then...I had never expected how it turned out).