"You look really pretty, Jenny," I say, laying on her bed.
"Thanks, sis." She's smears on lip gloss in the mirror.
She's in a black halter dress and sandals. A senior asked her to the Valentine's Day dance. His name's Joe, and he just moved to Scotland about a month ago. I have physics with him, but he and Jenny met during 4th period lunch. They hit it off. He's sweet and a nice fit for her. His temperament is calm and kind while Jenny is wild and blunt. They balance each other.
"Let me do your hair."
She brings the desk chair in front of the dresser mirror. I stand behind her.
"What style do you want?"
"A bun with the upside-down French braid." She tilts her head down.
I nod and work on braiding her hair in the back.
"Joe's not gonna know what to do with himself when he sees you."
She blushes. "You know you can come, too, right? Joe won't mind."
"Dances aren't my thing."
You shake your butt, drink punch, eat, and go home. There's nothing too special about them to me. It's like prom, but less expensive.
"They aren't mine either."
Jenny doesn't even like wearing dresses. I was surprised mama got her into one.
"But you have a date, so it's different. And if I tag along, I'd feel like a third wheel. It's your night. I'll just hang out with Crane. He's not going either."
"You both are two peas in a pod."
I chuckle. "You've been saying that a lot lately."
"It's true."
"Pass me a scrunchie."
I tie her curly hair into a ponytail and fix her bun accordingly.
"All done."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." I kiss her cheek. "Now for the jewelry."
She puts on her black earrings while I clasp on her necklace.
"There," I say.
She stands. "You and Crane could still come anyway."
I shake my head. "Thanks for the invite, Jenny, but we'll be okay."
I think Jenny feels guilty for getting asked to the dance when I didn't. She doesn't have to feel bad. I'm not the only one not going, let alone without a Valentine. Just another silly day.
"I'll have my phone on. Call or something if you're bored."
"Don't worry about me." I grab her jean jacket as the doorbell rings. "Promise to have fun. He might even kiss you."
Her eyes shine. "You think so? Me, a sophomore?"
"I know so. Now, go. He's waiting."
Mama and dad are downstairs. Joe shakes our parent's hands and introduces himself. His mouth drops when he sees Jenny and his hands go into his pockets. Mama nearly cries while dad kisses her forehead. I can't imagine what prom will be like. They snap pictures while I sit on the bottom stair. Jenny smiles wide, happy.
"Joe and I will get something to eat after the dance."
"Okay. Be back by 11," dad says.
It's weird seeing my parents together, but they wanted to be here for Jenny. They divorced while we were in middle school. It turned out dad was having an affair. He ended up marrying the woman. It's nice having them get along for once though.
"We will."
"Call if you need something," mama says. "Have fun, you two."
"Thanks, mama."
They leave, and it's just me and the 'rents. They go into the kitchen for wine. They'll be waiting up for Jenny. I tell them I'm going to Crane's. They send me with their hellos to him.
Crane's in his treehouse like always. It's actually been remodeled and has more space. He's gotten so tall, so he and his dad rebuilt everything. It has beanbag chairs now. We can stand up inside it, and it has a little balcony. Of course, he still has his books. There's also a pullout desk, mini lanterns, and lights streaming around. A small record player sits in a corner with vinyls stacked beside it.
"Hello, Abbie." He's writing in his journal at the desk again.
His mom gave it to him to help him start expressing himself when he started the 9th grade or what's considered that here in Scotland. We're seniors now, and lately, he's been filling up a lot of pages.
"Hey." I make myself comfy in a beanbag.
"I'm almost done writing. Please, give me one moment."
"Take your time." I play with my nails.
After a few more minutes, he closes his journal and turns to me.
"My parents say hi," I say.
"Send them my regards. How are they?"
"Good. Seem happier now that they are divorced, ironically."
"I'm glad to hear it." He smiles. "Mum's been dating. I believe she has a boyfriend. She's always giggling."
"She deserves some happy."
"She most certainly does."
"I'm surprised you're not at the dance," I say.
"What makes you say that?"
"Caroline has been pinning after you. I can't believe you told her no."
He looks at me like he has something to admit. "She's not the girl I'm interested in."
My heart jumps. That's been happening alot, too, and I don't know why. I've caught him staring at me. He looks lost and found at the same time, like he does now. It's hard to explain, but it makes me feel aware, like I've been missing something for a while.
"I see."
"Why aren't you at the dance?"
"Because…" I stare elsewhere.
"Yes?"
"No one asked me."
His face drops, but his eyes lighten.
I didn't admit this to Jenny or to my parents because it's embarrassing. I think it's because Jenny's a bit more approachable than I am. I'm not as close to others like I am with Crane. Jenny mingles with everyone while I mostly keep my distance.
"Abbie…"
"You don't have to say anything, Crane."
This is sad. Two losers alone on Valentine's Day. Not exactly a fun Friday.
He goes to the record player and puts on a love song. Then he stands in front of me, with his hand extended.
"Grace Abigail Mills, will you be my date to the Valentine's Day dance?"
I smile. He's always been so sweet to me. "I will."
He helps me up, and we dance to the sappy tune. My head rests on his chest. It used to be on his shoulder until he hit a growth spurt. His arms wrap around my waist.
"What was in your journal?"
"It's not so important."
I look at him. "Liar. You write in it every day."
He smiles. "Letters. Does that quench your curiosity?"
"Nope. Makes me more curious now."
"Of course, it does. I'd rather not say at the moment."
I respect his space. "One day you'll tell me?"
"One day, yes. I promise."
"Okay." I lay my head back on his chest.
Jenny and Joe are probably dancing like us, along with all the other lovestruck couples. I bet the gym's all pink and red hearts. And those little heart candy with the messages are sprinkled across the refreshment table. Every song the DJ plays has the word "love" in it, I'm sure. I bet Jenny's already been kissed.
"Crane?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever been kissed?"
He looks at me. "I've never been officially kissed. Miya Jones doesn't count."
I giggle. "Oh, she doesn't?"
He's laughing, too. "I only kissed her because of that atrocious Spend the Bottle game at her birthday party. Her breath smelled like peaches. I'm not too fond of that particular fruit."
My stomach starts to hurt from laughing so hard. We were in the 8th grade when it happened. She had such a crush on Crane and was so happy when she got the chance to kiss him. That seven minutes was the best of her life.
"That was too funny."
"If I recall correctly, your first kiss wasn't so spectacular either."
I wrinkle my nose. "Ugh. Don't remind me. Frankie Willis definitely doesn't count."
He smelled like moth balls and wore braces. When we leaned in to kiss each other, the metal cut my lip. I left the closet bleeding, and he apologized multiple times. It was horrendous.
"As it goes, neither of us had the best first kisses."
"Agreed." I pause. "I'd like to be kissed one day. Wouldn't you?"
Crane's the only person I'd open up to like this. He's a safe space for me, a comfort. I don't know how many people talk to their guy best friends like this, but I do.
"Yes, I would like that very much."
We dance in silence for a while until he speaks.
"Abbie, could I propose an idea?"
"What?"
"You've never been kissed, and neither have I. How about we be each other's first?"
My stomach does a thing I don't know. Is he serious? I mean Crane's amazing, but kissing him?
"We're best friends. That'd be weird."
"I know it is unorthodox. Best friends do not kiss each other. However, we could practice."
I raise my eyebrows at him. He's gone quite mad.
"For what?"
He's gonna have to convince me. A lot.
"The both of us are curious to know what it feels like. I don't see why we can't experiment on each other first."
"This is crazy. I'm curious but not that curious. You're my best friend. Won't that make things awkward between us?"
"It doesn't have to be. If I'm honest, I'd rather kiss a person I know quite well. We've known each other for almost eight years."
"True. But you're still insane."
I've never thought about what it would be like to kiss Crane. He's cute, and I love his accent. He'd make a great boyfriend with his gentleness and patience, but I don't want to lose him over this.
I know everything about him: his favorite color, his top 3 favorite books, his favorite pair of shoes. The list goes on. Crane's romantic side hasn't really crossed my mind. I don't know where he'd like to take a girl on a date or how he'd propose to her. And knowing how he'd kiss a girl honestly has my attention.
"Would you like to give it a try?"
"Besides my family, there's no one else I trust but you." I sigh. "Fine. This one time."
"I'm glad you agree."
I've seen movies and read books and watched my parents kiss. It's not something you plan. It's just supposed to happen naturally, and I don't know how that can happen right now.
"How should we do this?" I say.
My hands are damp and my stomach flops. I feel myself getting warm under my jacket.
He puts his hand on my cheek and his forehead on mine.
"Abbie."
I nuzzle his nose. His breath smells like mint. He pulls me closer as I run my fingers through his hair. Our lips touch. It's a soft thing until a wildfire snaps in me. I kiss him in a rush, like I'm trying to have him before it all ends. My mouth opens for his tongue, and I breath him in. He moans while his hands squeeze my ass. I groan, wanting more. He kisses down my neck and then stops. He lets me go. I touch my lips as we catch our breath.
"Wow," I say.
"That's quite an understatement if I'm honest."
"For sure."
My body is vibrating, and my heart's tied. I like it. Suddenly, every moment I've had with Crane startles me: from the time we first met, to that one Halloween, to when he saw me cry for the first time, to when he gave me flowers and homemade chocolate for my 11th birthday. He's always been there for me, always protecting me, always trying to make me happy. I think I was most hesitant about this kiss because of what it'd reveal. I've painted over it for so long. I didn't want to see the lines. Now, I'm beginning to.
Crane shuts off the record player. I'm seeing him with new eyes, with fuller ones.
"How are you feeling?" he says.
"I don't know. It's hard to put into words. You?"
"Wanting."
I don't ask what he means because I feel it myself.
"I see." I pause. "Well, it's official. We now know what it's like to be kissed."
"Did you enjoy it?"
"I did." I blush at the floor.
"As did I. Immensely."
I chuckle. "You got a little handsy."
"My apologies for—"
"I didn't mind. I knew you wouldn't have gone far."
"I would never disrespect you."
"Crane, I know. We're good. I promise."
He nods.
I like the feeling of his hands on my body and want them all over. I sit in one of the bean bags. A subject change sounds nice right now.
"You think they're having fun at the dance?"
"I'd like to assume so." He sits also.
I giggle. "I bet someone spiked the punch."
"I will bet you money that it was Abraham Van Brunt."
"Let's put your money where your mouth is then. I'll ask Jenny when she gets back."
He nods. "I most certainly can't wait to hear the answer."
We're quiet again.
"Well, I should head home. Thanks for tonight, Crane. For the dance and everything else."
"It was my pleasure, Abbie. Thank you for accompanying me tonight." He offers me his hand.
I stand. "Have a good night."
"You as well. Would you like me to walk you home?"
He always asks me this, even though my house is less than 20 feet from his.
"I'll be fine. Thanks though. I'll text you when I get in." I hug him, and then climb down the ladder.
As I head home, even in the dark, his lips still move across my skin.