CHAPTER TWO

Past

They say love is friendship set on fire.

And to Reid, that was true. They quickly organised a coffee date in the few hours after their first initial introduction. Their text conversation flowed easily, which was important for Reid. He was a socially awkward soul who fretted over whether he was saying the right thing or not, but she was easy to talk to. She asked him questions about himself, wanting to know more about him, and he had realised in those moments of night where sleep often evaded him what with a chaotic study schedule that he had spent most of his life being a closed book. But with her, it was different. She wanted to know about him, she wanted to hear his thoughts and opinions on things that mattered to him.

For most of his life, Spencer Reid was lonely. He had been abandoned by his father at a young age and had taken care of his schizophrenic mother whose outburst were becoming more frequent and terrifying. He had no friends at school, preferring his own company to the company of those who made fun of him. He walked through life worried and alone. College was a different experience, where he met people of his kind: the quiet souls who thrived in a new environment and who wanted to make a better future for themselves. Though he had been lonely then, he was happy and content. But as soon as she came into his life, his world became brighter.

They had met the following Thursday in the same coffee shop, a week after they first met there. He had spotted her standing outside as he parked his vehicle across the road. She was holding the strap of her cross-body bag tightly, shifting her standing position every few seconds, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. He observed her outfit: the black tights, burgundy polka-dot dress under a thick warm jumper, and black boots. The way she was tentatively ensuring her dress was smoothed down made him realise that she'd wanted to look nice, that she was comfortable with her style choices. As he had crossed the road towards her, he saw a huge grin etch across her face.

"Hello, you!" she exclaimed confidently, a small hint of nervousness peaking through.

They hugged and he opened the door for her, the scent and the warmth of the coffee shop beckoning them inside. They found a table and he went to get them both drinks. Coffee for him, hot chocolate for her.

They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments but as they settled in each other's company, they began to ease into conversation. They spoke about school, how Spencer had another term left and then an exam to follow and a job waiting for him, and how she had another year of classes before she was ready to take on the world. She was going to be a doctor, a trauma doctor. She wanted to travel, but home was where her heart was. A home bird, of sorts. He knew a lot of travel would be in his future with his job and he was excited to see where cases would take him, but he knew the seriousness of it all.

He'd been aware of her movements, of how when she was nervous, she would comb her long hair back behind her ear even if it was already there. He noticed how her eyes would search his more deeply than he had ever experienced with anyone else; how she truly listened to every word he said with such an interest that it startled him knowing that she was truly interested in what he was saying, something he would usually feel embarrassed about or be told to be quiet; or how her eyes lit up when she spoke about things that interested her, of how a book had changed her mindset or how she had found something that she had believed to have lost.

They spoke for hours in the coffee shop before they decided to extend the date for a nice walk around the town. They walked alongside each other, noticing for the first time the difference in heights as the sun behind them cast their shadows upon the concrete in front of them. He spoke about the oldest buildings in the town, of how the town used to look, and what the attire was like back then. They went into an old town museum that had some questionable artefacts inside. They talked for hours about anything and everything before nightfall caused their date to end, and as he walked her to her door, he knew she was going to become an important part of his life.

He had wanted to kiss her then, as she stood upon fourth step that allowed them to be the same height. He had wanted nothing more but to close the gap between them, gently place a hand upon her cheek and brush his lips against hers, to feel the warmth of her close to him.

"I had a really lovely day with you Spencer," she had said, and her words had allowed his heart to open wide. It had been closed off ever since his first crush in high school had caused his trust to become non-existent in every aspect of his life.

"Thank you for making my day lovely," he had smiled, and he watched as she bit at her lip before stepping down the steps towards him. She pulled him into a hug, a much less awkward one this time, and placed a kiss upon his cheek. They remained close for a moment before she pulled away and walked up the steps to her apartment. He remained there, his legs like jelly, and she turned to him one last time with a smile so bright that it lit up the world around him.

"Goodnight Spencer," she whispered, voice low.

"Goodnight Hannah."

He remained there for a moment, watching as she opened the door with one last glance in his direction which caused his heart to swell. As she closed it behind her, it took him a few moments to feel the coldness seep into his clothes, leaving the heated mark of her kiss upon his cheek.

..

Their romance started slow, with the both of them going out to events that interested them. Their main dates revolved around a coffee shop and an endless amount of coffee and conversation, which the two of them thoroughly enjoyed. Hannah would listen to Reid as he talked animatedly about his course and the books he had read that evening. Hannah marvelled at his ability to read twenty thousand words a minute, something that she wished she was capable of. He opened up to her at how he wished he was able to switch his mind off for just a minute, where nothing mattered, and it was just him in his own company with no thoughts or information to penetrate him from the calmness he wondered if it would ever be brought to him.

They spoke about their families over dinner, finding deeper conversations to be more beneficial to them. They liked each other enough to know that neither of them would think differently of them. They spoke about things they truly wanted to talk about, finding no lapse in conversation, and finding only honesty in each other's words. And for Reid, that was everything. He had spent most of his life being pushed aside or told to be silent and so habits formed and he resented his power of knowledge and wanted nothing more than to be different – but with Hannah, he didn't have to silence himself for she was enthralled in the information stored in mind, tucked away for an opportunity to arise and be spoken.

Though their schedules were different, they both did their best to free up time to see each other. As soon as Spencer was finished with his classes for the day, he would send a text to Hannah asking if she wanted to hang out. Most of the time she was free, and others, she was knee deep in essays and assignments. He would often bring her coffee on mornings where she had a free day from college and remain in her apartment until the sun went down. He would help her study, or more recently, bring his own books with him so that he could read alongside her. It became routine for him to venture to her apartment on a Friday morning when he'd have a free day and end up staying until Sunday evening when he would have to tear himself away before a busy week ahead.

As the weeks raced by, and his final exam was quickly approaching, he relished in spending time with her more than ever as they were forced to hang out less due to other commitments. Though they always enjoyed their phone calls before they fell to sleep, it wasn't the same.

Hannah had begun to find herself missing Spencer the more time they spent apart. As their schedules became increasingly and overwhelmingly busy, she found her feelings for him begin to become overwhelming in every sense. She missed his voice, the way his voice raised at the end of every sentence, and the way he would truly look at her when she spoke. And it seemed those were the little things she loved about him.

Loved.

She looked up from her notes and observed her friend. He was absentmindedly reading a book and unaware of her redirected attention towards him, though he wouldn't tell her that he always felt when her eyes were on him. She wondered if Spencer had felt the same about her; it was a burning feeling in the depths of her stomach that always sparked when he would look at her and she felt like her skin was on fire. And Hannah truly believed that it was that strong that Spencer would be able to feel the heat radiate from her whenever he was near her. But doubt always crept in when she acknowledged that she saw him in a different light, how could he like her? He made no inclination that he did like her more than a friend.

Hannah returned her attention towards her notes and felt that familiar wave of uncertainty creep in. And when his voice filled her ears, she knew why that doubt never left her.

"I've been offered a job in Virginia," he whispered, and as she raised her gaze to him, she realised he was staring at her. His eyes always spoke a thousand words which she had always admired about him. There was a heaviness to them now. "It's for position at the BAU in Quantico. I applied for it believing I wouldn't get it but… I heard back and they… liked me enough to offer me the position without an interview."

He could see the pain flash across her face, but it was only for a split second. And he had to question himself as to whether he had actually witnessed it in the first place as it was such a quick change. A smile was now etched across her face except it never reached her eyes like it usually did.

"That's amazing, Spencer!" she exclaimed happily. "That's… wow… I'm proud of you."

"You are?" Reid asked, taken aback. No one had ever said they were proud of him before in his life; his father having abandoned him at such a tender age, and his mother living in her own world for most of his life. Any achievements of his were always left uncelebrated, but now that was different.

"Of course, I am!" Hannah beamed. "You've worked so hard for this. When... when do you have to leave?"

"As soon as my final exam is over," he whispered, keeping his gaze upon her. He needed to know her reaction, to confirm his feelings. He needed to know if she felt the same way he did, he needed to know.

"That's… next week," Hannah faltered then. "You're leaving next week."

"Come with me…" he whispered before he even realised.

Hannah let out a laugh before she fell silent. "I can't. I have my studies here, I can't… it's not that I don't want to, but I can't just leave…"

Spencer nodded then shook his head. "I don't know why I said that. I just… the thought of leaving you, I don't even want to think about that. Your friendship means so much to me and I'm worried it won't be the same with me moving across the country. But I know it will. You mean a lot to me. And I want to keep you in my life for as long as I can."

He saw the tears pool in her eyes and threaten to fall. He moved to her then, closing the gap between them. And he held her when the tears came and went, and he held her even after that. He had never had someone who was going to miss him; he'd gone through life being invisible, but she had allowed him to come out of his shell, gave him the confidence to step into the light and grab life with both hands. She had shown him how to believe in himself.

And by doing that, she had unknowingly set him free.