Author's note:
Dear readers,
another update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. You truly are amazing.
Have a nice day and a Happy New Year,
Vani12
Chapter 3 – Sometimes you want to murder your allies!
Order of the Phoenix Headquarters, 12 Grimmauld Place, London, August 1996
Nymphadora Tonks stood with a heavy heart in front of the invisible Order of the Phoenix Headquarters. Although she still was overjoyed by the news of her twin pregnancy, she was overwhelmed with sad memories of her time spent at 12 Grimmauld Place. "Sirius is now lost in the Veil inside the Death Chamber forever. He is dead and I feel guilty about it, for my second cousin saved my life, jumped in front of me and battled my crazy aunt Bellatrix. I have realized that I wouldn't be alive without his actions today and that my twins would never have been conceived. I underwent the in-vitro fertilization with vigor after his death and my fight at the Department of Mysteries, because it showed me how fast my life could end. My injuries were severe and without the help of the Order and Harry Potter's friends, I wouldn't have made it.
"I want to honor Sirius's sacrifice and fight against the Death Eaters by naming my son Orion as a second name. And I want to defeat my sadistic bitch of an aunt and her evil goons by spying on the Death Eaters with my Metamorphogus skills and knack for Spellcrafting. But I can't feel guilty about Sirius's death forever or have some kind of a survivor complex because it would only cause me distress and stress that could harm my unborn children. I know that Sirius would be ecstatic to know that my dream of being a mum comes true. He loved children. Hence, I'm going to process my grief by parenting my twins into the happiest children on earth."
Tonks vowed in a determined voice and imagined the slip of paper with the phrase "The Orders Headquarter is at 12 Grimmauld Place, London" in front of her eyes. The old Muggle townhouse appeared, shoving number eleven and thirteen aside and greeting her with its worn set of front steps, battered front door and silver knocker in the shape of a twisted snake. "How much I loathe this gloomy Muggle deceiving house. It exudes such a dark aura because of its twisted dark magic artifacts that it is no wonder that half of the Blacks turned bat-shit crazy. But I guess that it is the ideal Headquarters for the Order because Muggles can't see it due to its unplottable status and it is put under the Fidelius Charm with Albus Dumbledore as the Secret Keeper. Nonetheless, it creeps me out and dear Aunty Walburga's screeches are driven me mad." Tonks thought in an annoyed tone and opened the door with a powerful Alohomora. She walked slowly into the dimly light long hallway, making sure to not stumble over the troll foot umbrella stand and waking up her second aunt's portrait, for she didn't want to be verbally abused by this screaming evil harpy today.
She walked on silent feet into the dining room down the hall when she heard a deep baritone chuckle beside her. "Well, Nymphadora, I hope that your spying spills are better equipped when you are on your Metamorphogus missions for the Order because the lower ranked Death Eater would surely die out of laughter if they saw you approaching like one of Lucius's flamingos, but kill you a few minutes later due to your suspicious behavior." Tonks turned around with a smile and faced the sparkling obsidian eyes of Severus Snape. Despite his amused smile, he looked tired, worn-out and unhealthily thin. His porcelain skin was ghastly pale and his black locks were greasier than ever. "Merlin, the Dark Lord and Dumbledore must tax him with work. He looks exhausted. I hope that I will be able to cheer him up and lessen his burden. I can surely help him with his Spellcrafting tasks," a worried voice mumbled inside her mind.
Severus looked in the sparkling indigo eyes of Nymphadora. Her dark red bob framed her heart-shaped face perfectly and her cheeks seemed to glow with happiness. "Merlin, she is a vision of beauty. How can she be so positive, bubbly and carefree in these dark times? Her beaming smile can certainly light every room," he thought in a dazed voice. Her smile also told him that she had taken his joke as the playful banter it was supposed to be. Naturally, Tonks' clumsiness wasn't a secret in the Order and it annoyed her when anybody mentioned it. But she could somehow take his sarcastic remarks with a smile and be kind to him.
"Severus, you know that I'm a master spy for the Order. I can turn into a cunning silent panther if I want to and jump at the Death Eaters from a hidden position. No one ever notices me thanks to my Metamorphogus skills. It's good to see you again. Although I have to say that you look exhausted. You have to take better care of you, my friend. I will mother you to death if you don't heighten your sleeping time and eating schedule. I will crash in your chambers after this meeting because I miss our friendly talks, want to share some ideas for new spells with you and tell you a big secret. I hope that you are up for it because I won't take no for an answer." She exclaimed in a no-nonsense tone.
Severus just smirked at her. "Well, I'm up for your visit for I can't wait to see your crazy socks and hear all about your new ideas for spells. But before our entertainment can start, comes work. So, let us walk into the dining room without waking this awful harpy. I trust that everyone will be ecstatic to see my handsome face." He mumbled in a sarcastic tone. Walking beside him to the dining room, Tonks felt again furious at her fellow Order members.
"How can they treat Severus with so open animosity and distrust? Can't they see the lack of sleep in his eyes, the worry lines on his face and the torture scars on his arms? Merlin, sometimes he even sits through an Order meeting sporting a fresh cut on his chest and trembling like a freezing kid from the aftereffects of a Cruciatus Curses session. He still delivers his spying report in a strategic speech, powerful posture and dark aura, but if you look into his obsidian eyes you can detect the pain, exhaustion, and loneliness in them. It seems that my fellow Order members aren't able to see his brave sacrifices and unrelenting fight for the Light Side. It really pisses me off," she thought enraged.
The dining room was already packed with the Order members. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody were silently whispering to each other about Auror business, the Weasleys were bragging about the twins' joke business, Amelia Bones and Emmeline Vance were talking in worried voices about the growing power of the Death Eaters in the Ministry and Remus Lupin informed Albus Dumbledore about his newest undercover work. When they noticed the arrival of Severus Snape, Moody sneered at him maliciously, Arthur Weasley looked at him suspiciously and Amelia Bones pierced him with a death glare. Their talks died down and the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped by ten degrees. Even Molly Weasley who mothered every Order member could only manage to plaster a fake smile on her face.
Nymphadora looked at her friend. His onyx eyes flickered with hurt for mere seconds and he exuded an uncomfortable aura, but he managed to erect his Occlumency shields and greet everyone with a silent nod before he seated himself on a chair in the far-right corner of the room. Tonks glared disappointedly at her friends and followed him in his lonely corner. She wanted to show him that he had at least one friend who believed in him, enjoyed his company and wanted to share his burdens. "I can't fathom why the Order is treating one of their own like their mortal enemy and a social outcast. Sure, Severus has been a Death Eater in his past, committed awful crimes and radiates a dark anti-social aura. But these are no reasons to overlook his spy work for our side and cut him out. He has redeemed himself and is our biggest asset besides Harry to defeat Voldemort. Why can't they acknowledge this?" She lounged herself in an angry mood beside him.
Severus detected her darkened mood. "Merlin, she probably is angry with the Order for their reactions to me. Although I appreciate her care and support, she shouldn't waste her time by being pissed at the Order on my behalf, for they won't ever change their opinion about me. She can't make them respect or trust me because their distrust and loathing of me are deeply rooted. She shouldn't waste her energy, smiles and bubbly nature on a fight she can't win." He mused darkly. He wanted to see her smiling again, thence he squeezed her hand gently and whispered into her ear, "Thanks for defending me with your angry glares. But you shouldn't waste your time on them. I have accepted that they don't like or trust me. And your friendship and vibrant aura make up for their sour faces anyway." Tonks shivered slightly and beamed at him. "Don't flatter me, Severus or my hair is going to change into an embarrassing Bordeaux red. But your friendship means a lot to me too."
Before they could deepen their chat, Albus Dumbledore addressed the assembled Order members in a grave tone. "Thank you all for coming to 12 Grimmauld Place today. Sirius passed the townhouse and all his possessions on to his godson Harry, hence we are still able to use it as Headquarters. It's a real tragedy that Sirius's life ended so soon after his innocent prison stay at Azkaban. He was a valuable member for the Order and fought fiercely against dark magic and the Death Eaters. His loss hurts us and Harry terribly. We need to do anything in our power to reassure Harry that he isn't guilty of Sirius's death. Bellatrix Lestrange killed him and no one could have stopped the sadistic crazy dark witch from killing her cousin.
"Harry needs to realize that. Molly and Arthur, you need to treat him as your own son, listen to his sorrows and comfort him in his grief now more than ever. We need to prepare him for his fight against Voldemort and keep him sane. He is the only one who can defeat Voldemort and we need to do anything to support him and to train his skills. I will teach him Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts and show him snippets of Voldemort's past because he needs to know everything about his enemy to be able to defeat him. Kingsley and Mad-Eye, I expect that you keep an eye on the Death Eater spies in the Ministry and try to weaken Voldemort's forces by arresting suspect Death Eaters. You will also have to train your Aurors in special Defense skills.
"Remus, I trust that you will do anything to persuade the werewolves to our side. Voldemort is trying to turn them against us for decades and it is vital that he doesn't gain their full support. Amelia and Emmeline, I expect that you observe Voldemort's influence on the Wizengamot and try to recruit more witches and wizards for our side. Nymphadora, I trust that you keep on infiltrating the lower Death Eaters and Snatchers and try to gather some intelligence from them. It will be vital to know how their structures are working. If there aren't any questions on your missions, I think that we should remember Sirius with a silent goodbye of our wands before Severus will deliver his newest spying report to us." Dumbledore ended his speech, looking in the grieving faces of his followers and piercing Severus with a twinkling gaze.
"Damn, the old fool thinks that I will make a scene out of this remembrance for the mongrel. Naturally, I hated Sirius Black for his bullying past, reckless behavior and boundless arrogance, but I'm not satisfied with his death. I hope that he is reunited with his mate Potter in the afterlife and somehow can protect the Boy-Who-Lived from dying. I will not shed a single tear for him, but I will give him my respects with a silent raise of my wand," Severus vowed in a determined tone. Getting up from his chair, he looked at the tears-stricken and guilt-ridden face of Nymphadora and the solemn faces of his fellow Order members. "Hell, Nymphadora shouldn't feel guilty for his death. Sure, he rescued her from Bellatrix's Killing Curse, but he lost his duel to his deranged cousin due to his arrogance and recklessness. I hope to diffuse her survivor's guilt in our heart-to-heart talk later this evening," he mumbled in his thoughts. He raised his wand in the air and uttered the Last Goodbye Spell with the others. A spectrum of colorful lights erupted from their wands and bathed the dining room in a magical light.
After one minute, he seated himself again, awaited the solemn mood to die down and addressed his fellow members. "The Dark Lord is more unstable than ever. He tortures his followers who mess up some of his missions, increases the frequency of his dark revels which include the torturing, raping and killing of Muggles, Muggle-borns, and Blood Traitors and heightens the frequency of his terror attacks on Muggle infrastructure and Wizarding villages. He is confident that he will be in control of the Ministry in a year's time, for his number of spies in the Ministry grows every week and he has managed to gain the favor of most of the Wizengamot."
He paused here due to the outraged and shocked reactions of his fellow members. "They undoubtedly condemn me for my entanglement with the Death Eaters. Merlin, they probably think that I'm raping and killing Muggle women weekly. But I thankfully managed to escape these revels by citing my grading work at Hogwarts and using an Impotent Potion. I wish that I could stop them from happening once and for all. But to suggest this to the Dark Lord would be my death sentence. I can only sabotage their attacks on Wizarding villages and Muggle infrastructure by informing Dumbledore and evacuating some witches and wizards." His guilt and self-loathing tried to overwhelm him, but a gentle squeeze of Tonks' hand enabled him to go on with his report.
"He has tasked Draco Malfoy with a special mission that he is forced to complete under the threat of killing his mother. As Draco is my godson, I took an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy to protect him, guide him through his mission and help him complete it. I don't know much about the details but I feel that Draco won't be able to finish it alone. Despite his arrogant spoiled child aura and cruel bullying tendencies, he is merely a confused teenaged boy with a good heart who wants to protect his mother. I will keep Albus up to date on the specifics of his mission, but I can't promise you quick news, for Draco sealed himself off from me due to Lucius' stay in Azkaban and the rising demands of the Dark Lord. I will work to regain his trust when the term starts again at Hogwarts. And I will intercept as much information about the next Death Eater terror attacks and his spies in the Ministry as possible without outing myself as a spy." He ended his speech with a determined sparkle in his eyes.
"Thank you, Severus. It will be from the utmost importance to regain Draco's trust and counteract the terror attacks as timely as possible." He interrupted the distrustful mumblings about Severus's true role in the midst of the Death Eaters and his allegiance as a spy with a powerful Silencing Spell. "I trust that you will stop your insane conspiracy theories now. Severus is firmly on our side, I trust him with my life and I won't tolerate your suspicions of him. He risks his life every day for our efforts, protects your children and endures Voldemort's tortures. We need to be a united front against the Death Eaters, inner fights will only prevent our victory. So, stop your talks right now." Dumbledore stated in an angry voice. "Our meeting is dismissed for tonight. Everyone knows what they need to do. We will meet again in three weeks time if no emergency occurs." He broke the Silencing Spell and swept out of 12 Grimmauld Place in a hurry, leaving his dumfounded Order members behind.
Mrs. Weasley invited the remaining members to a healthy stew into the kitchen and all Order members beside Severus Snape and Nymphadora Tonks followed her invitation, piercing the Potions Master with distrustful glances and mumbling about the dire state of the Order on their way out of the dining room. Severus never stayed in Grimmauld Place for the meal, because he couldn't endure the snide remarks, suspicious glares, and evil jokes. He left 12 Grimmauld Place as soon as possible, breathing a sigh of relief that he endured his report without breaking down and lashing out against his fellow Order members. Tonks locked her indigo eyes with his obsidian ones, gifted him with a half smile and touched his right shoulder gently. "Come on, let's leave this animosity filled atmosphere and crash down in your chambers, Severus. I have so much to tell you. You know that I also trust you with my life, so don't give a shit about their mistrust. One only needs two good friends. And with Dumbledore and me on your side, nothing can go wrong." She exclaimed in a reassuring voice.
Lost in his thoughts, Severus only noted once, smirked at her and walked out of the dining room with her on his side. They left the gloomy halls of 12 Grimmauld Place in a hurry and apparated with a pop to Hogsmeade.