Author's note:
Dear readers,
another update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. You truly are amazing.
Have a happy and healthy 2019,
Vani12
Chapter 5 – Sometimes there is a light in a pool of darkness!
Severus's chambers, Hogwarts, August 1996
Nymphadora Tonks eyes widened in shock. "Severus is my sperm donor? He is going to be the daddy of my twins? And he shares a 90% compatibility with my magical signature? We're basically soulmates for fuck's sake. Merlin, what will happen now? Will he want to get involved in the pregnancy and our babies' lives? And could this magical twin pregnancy possibly enflame a love between us? I'm attracted to him, enjoy his company and love his dry wit, so I would be definitely open for a relationship with him. Perhaps, my dream of having children with the love of my life will come true after all. But hell, our twins will endanger him even more in the ranks of the Death Eaters. Nobody can know that he is my twins' daddy, for my crazy aunt would certainly brand him a traitor and torture him to death for impregnating her Metamorphogus niece, Auror and Order member, Nymphadora Tonks. We will have to keep it secret," she thought overwhelmed by her emotions of joy, hope, despair, and fear.
She composed her wildly beating heart, clung to his strong arms and asked in a frantic voice. "How is this possible, Severus? You never mentioned that you longed to have kids and donated your sperm to a sperm bank. Although you encouraged me to live out my dreams, you complain regularly about your stupid and foolish dunderheaded students and how much you despise love-crazy teenagers. How does this fit in with being sperm donor 5799? And if you really are my twins' daddy, we will have to keep it secret. I can't bear to lose you." She buried her head into his chest and clawed her nails into his t-shirt.
Severus uttered in a worried tone, "Calm yourself down, Nymphadora. I can only imagine what a shock it must be for you to know that your Dungeon Bat Ex-Potions-Teacher is the dad of your twins. But you have to take some deep breaths, calm down your heartbeat and clear your mind of your fears, for your distressed state can't be healthy for our babies. I know that I have never confessed to you that I want children or have donated my sperm to a sperm bank and that I don't look like a children-loving man with daddy-of-the-year qualities. Hell, if you told my twenty-five-year-old self that I donated my sperm to pass on my genes and enable someone to have happy children, he would have certainly hexed you into oblivion and branded you a liar because I never wanted to bequeath my wretched Snape genes on anyone.
"But I realized that my chances of dying in this war are fairly high and I wanted to leave something behind of me on this earth. And if I could help a couple with fertility issues or a single woman who longed to be a mum by donating my sperm, I wanted to do it. Hence, I registered into the sperm bank of St. Mungo's some months ago, filled out my basic information sheet with my ID 5799 after my magical signature got scanned and my sperm quality got tested and donated some vials of my sperm that should only be used for one successful in-vitro fertilization and pregnancy. Perhaps this good deed, helping in the creation of an innocent being, could redeem me for my past atrocities somehow. And although I never thought that I would have the chance to get to know my children, I promise you my support during your pregnancy. If you allow it, I want to be a part of our twins' lives and be the best dad possible to them, though we need to keep everything strictly secret. No one can know. Not even Dumbledore or the Order." He looked her deeply in her lovely indigo eyes and pleaded silently with her to let him be a part of their twins' lives.
"Merlin, although I never dreamed of being a hands-on-dad, I can't help myself but wish that Nymphadora lets me in in her and our babies' lives. Knowing that she carries my twins and plans to parent them alone, juggling the duties of an Auror and Order member in the escalating war, fills me with admiration and fears. Admiration, for she is such a strong vibrant woman with a positive outlook on life and magically extraordinary powers. Fears, for she will be vulnerable as a pregnant woman and possibly exhaust herself for the Light Side. I want to help her, go through the challenges of pregnancy and parenthood together with her and protect her and our twins from the horrors of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters.
"Although our twins are currently some tiny embryos and her risk of miscarrying them is still high, I know that they will develop themselves into beautiful magical powerful and healthy babies. I can't wait to meet them in May and hope that they have inherited the looks of their beautiful mum, for I don't want to burden any child with my hooked nose. If they are extremely lucky, they will also inherit Nymphadora's Metamorphogus' abilities and can change their looks at their will. This would be wicked," he smiled slightly at this thought, envisioning a boy with green hair and a girl with lavender eyes.
Tonks caressed his cheek with a trembling hand and transferred a warmth into his heart with an honest smile. She exclaimed in a soft voice, "Severus, you're one of my best friends, I trust you with my life and want to see you happy. I admire you for your relentless fight against Voldemort, your brave spying work and your brilliant brain. I could not have asked for a better dad for my twins. If you want to be a part of our children's lives, I would love to co-parent them with you. I realize that my pregnancy could be difficult and that I could use the support of a close friend who holds back my hair when I vomit, buys me Oreos when I crave them or massages my swollen feet when they hurt. I'm terrified of the birth and would be overjoyed if you could hold my hand in the delivery room. I would love to share the experience of hearing their first heartbeats, feeling their first kicks and seeing their first bursts of accidental magic with you, but you have to promise me that you will do anything to survive this war.
"You can't die on us. Though I never imagined that I would co-parent my children with their biological dad, the knowledge that I could take care of them and love them with my magical soulmate blows my mind. You might remember from my school days that I never believed in fate, prophecies or divination. But even I know that it is extremely rare to encounter a person that shares 90% of your magical energies. Hell, it's like winning the lottery. I will do anything to ensure that we survive this war, check out our connection and be amazing parents to our twins. We will win this war, defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters and see our children grow up into unique lovely and troublesome human beings. You have to believe in it, Severus. And I know that you will be an amazing dad four our children, even if we have to keep it secret till Voldemort is dead." She embraced him tightly, shed some happy tears and breathed in his sandalwood scent.
Severus breathed in her vanilla and strawberry scent, enclosed her tightly into his arms and whispered in an emotional voice. "You don't know how much this means to me, Nymphadora. I will try my best to survive this wretched war, protect you and our babies and be the best dad that I can be. Your belief in me, my abilities and the strength of our Light Side boost my self-confidence and my efforts to win this war. We will defeat Voldemort and be a happy family, though I don't know if you should really embark on a romance with me. I'm not an easy man, speaking about my emotions and past regrets is difficult to me and if I'm totally honest I have never been in a healthy relationship with any woman. My Occlumency shields help me to lie in the Dark Lord's face and sabotage his evil plans, but they also enable me to cut my feelings out and focus on my role in the war – being a valuable pawn in Dumbledore's plans. I will do anything that he orders me to do, for he rescued me from a life sentence in Azkaban and hired me as his Potions Master. Hogwarts is my home and I will do anything to protect it and its students.
"But your pregnancy news change the ranking of my priorities. You and our twins are my number one priority, Nymphadora. I will do anything to protect you and support you during your pregnancy. Merlin, I will gladly massage your swollen ankles and buy every food that you crave if it means that I will be able to hear our twins' heartbeats, feel their magical energies and their first kicks. I want to be a part of their lives, change their diapers, sing them to sleep and teach them everything about Potions. I only hope that they inherit your beauty looks, for I wouldn't wish my hooked nose on my worst enemy. If we are extremely lucky, they will even share your Metamorphogus abilities.
"Hell, you're my best friend, Nymphadora. I thought that I would never have such a fiery loyal, recklessly brave and highly intelligent female friend. I don't know how you handle my bad temper, moody nature and sarcastic humor, but I love spending my time with you. Knowing that you are my magical match, share 90% of my magical signature, enflames a new hope in me. A hope to be happy, live a life in love, health, and peace and have a happy family at home." He paused there and kissed her gently on her forehead. "I don't know how I deserve to have this second chance. I want to test out this magical connection between us too. Although I realize that I'm selfish by trying to win the heart of such a beautiful, vibrant and bubbly young witch and darken her light with my darkness, I can't help myself but act on my hopes, desires, and dreams.
"I couldn't have wished for a better mum for our twins. I know that you love them with every fiber of your heart, long to smother them with your love, care, and protection and will parent them into happy, wonderful children. Though I realize that you would die for them, you have to promise me one thing – never put your life in danger, for I also couldn't face losing you. You will have to put the twins' and your safety first, even if it means looking on when the Order fights the Dark Lord and his followers. Please, you have to promise me this, Nymphadora." He pleaded with puppy onyx eyes.
Tonks couldn't stop herself from kissing him gently on his lips. While their kiss only lasted some seconds, she couldn't help but want to feel the pressure of his warm soft lips against hers again. She vowed to explore his kissing technique later with him, for she wanted to feel desired and wanted. Knowing that such a powerful mysterious darkly handsome wizard wanted to embark on a romance with her and be the co-parent of their kids, made her feel powerful and happy. She couldn't wait to go on this challenging journey with him and vowed to always be his friend.
She beamed at his stunned face and whispered sexily in his ear, "You can't imagine how much your protective streak and your vow to be the best dad to our twins and test out our connection turns me on. I promise you to always put my safety and the safety of our twins first, but I won't step on the sidelines and leave the Order alone in their fight. I will heighten my efforts in creating Protective Wards and Defense Spells with you and continue my spying work within the lower ranked Death Eaters as well as my Auror work until my second trimester. I have talked with Dr. Rosenstein that it is entirely safe to go on my spying trips until my second trimester, for my magical signature protects our twins and I'm also taking Protection and Pre-Natal Potions. Besides that, our high magical compatibility lowers the chance of a miscarriage to 5%. And I can only imagine that you have already worked out some Potion recipes that will keep us even safer.
"And I would love to have a son with your coal black hair or a girl with your sparkling onyx eyes because I love these features about you. Merlin, even your Roman nose gives your face character. I wouldn't mind if our son inherited it. I'm drawn to your darkly handsome looks, and I can only imagine that our son would be chased by girls with our combined looks. Hell, it would be so cool if our little munchkins inherited my Metamorphogus skills for I could teach them everything about it and we could shoot really awesome family photos. Dr. Rosenstein already disclosed to me that our children will be magical because she could detect some magical energies in the embryos.
"I'm overjoyed to hear that we will co-parent our kids together and I know that you will be the most amazing dad. I'm also ecstatic that you are willing to test our magical connection out, for I enjoy spending time with you, love you as my friend and I'm on the way of falling for you. Although your sarcastic jabs and fiery temper can sometimes be hard to handle, I know that you have a good heart and use your prickly nature to protect yourself from rejection, hurt and despair. I vow to you that I'll always be your friend, your shoulder to cry on and your fiercest defender. You gifted me with these beautiful babies and I can't wait to meet them and love them with you.
"Please, don't talk ill about you in my presence again, for I see your true self. And you are truly beautiful on your inside and outside. Regardless of your past actions, your ill-advised decision to join the Death Eaters and the evil deeds you need to commit as our spy, I will always see your beautiful soul. You redeem your past actions with your spying work, strategic efforts to train our forces and useful brewing and inventing activity to gain us an advantage. Merlin, you even endure Voldemort's tortures without breaking down and disclosing our secrets. You are such a strong brave wizard and I can't wait to call you mine, Severus."
She confessed in a soft voice, indigo eyes beaming and locking themselves with his obsidian ones. Severus couldn't stop himself from crashing his pale lips to her pink ones. "Merlin, her lips are so soft and delicate, I can't wait to taste her flavor on my tongue. I would have never guessed that I could love someone again. But falling for this beautiful, energetic and bad-ass witch is unstoppable like a raging wildfire. I will have to be honest with her and disclose my promise to Albus if I want to have a chance with her. Feeling the warmth of her lips, basking in her vanilla and strawberry scent and seeing myself with her eyes, I feel like a new man who can achieve anything that he wishes for. Nymphadora Tonks' kisses and love can surely rescue the darkest soul from succumbing to his despair."