Author's note:
Dear readers,
another update for you to enjoy. I'm very sorry for the long delay, but writer's block and RL got to me. I hope that I'll be able to update weekly from now on. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. It makes my day ;).
Have a nice Sunday,
Vani12
Chapter 6 – Sometimes kisses can brighten up your life!
Severus's chambers, Hogwarts, August 1996
Tonks's heart beat wildly in her chest. She clung desperately to the firm back of Severus Snape, a sensual satisfied moan escaped her mouth. She couldn't believe how intoxicating his kisses felt. He was such a passionate, considerate kisser with an awesome kissing technic. He didn't plunder her mouth like a hormone-crazy, horny teenager or pressed firm dominating kisses on her lips like a possessive tyrant. Instead, he kissed every centimeter of her lips sweetly and slowly as if he wanted to map out her lips for further studies. His right hand caressed her dark red bob lovingly and his left hand played with the herm of her t-shirt. She could hear his heartbeat hammering against his breast and breathe in his spicy herbal and sandalwood scent. Merlin, if someone would have told her teenaged self that her Potions Professor was such an amazing kisser, she would have flung herself at him. Feeling him kiss the corner of her mouth softly, grace her ribcage with featherlight touches and stroke her straight hair lightly, she felt a need inside of her to deepen their kiss, to taste his essence on her tongue and leave marks on his skin.
Driven by her desires, Tonks slipped her tongue inside of Severus's mouth and stroked his tongue urgently. She knew that it probably wasn't such a good idea to come on too strong on Severus, for he had obviously trust and relationship issues. But they were going to be parents of twins in a time of war. They couldn't afford to lose any time by tip-toeing around each other. She would show him that he deserved to love and be loved in return. And she wouldn't slow things down for the benefit of his self-confidence issues and his protective hero complex. He had confessed to her that he was attracted to her, wanted to raise their twins together and embark on a romance with her. She would encourage his desires and go all in and judging by his wicked tongue that he was plunging into her mouth, he had also decided to throw his self-doubts in the wind and kiss her senseless today. Tasting his mint and dark chocolate taste, Tonks moaned into his kisses. She felt like she would burst into flames any minute, for her skin felt on fire, her magical energies buzzed intoxicatingly and her lungs were out of breath.
She needed to inhale some oxygen to not pass out on her newfound lover mid-kiss, hence she regretfully broke their heated kisses, caressed his smooth cheek gently and gazed lustfully into his dilated obsidian eyes. She smiled dreamily at him, took a deep breath and exclaimed in a husky voice, "Damn, Severus. You clearly know how to kiss a witch senseless and leave her wanting for more. If I had known that you would be such a good kisser, I would have kissed you ages ago. Your obsidian eyes look sexy as hell with a lustful gleam in them. I can't fathom that you are my magical soul-mate, father-to-be of my twins and my newly found lover. It's like my eighteen-years-old self is waking up in her dream world."
Tonks laughed good-naturedly at Severus's confused expression and raised eyebrow. "Don't look so dumbfounded, Mr. Snarky. You must have noticed that I had a crush on you in my final year during our private tutoring sessions." Seeing his pink face and his incredulous look, she realized that Severus was totally blindsided by her confession and seemed lost in thoughts. "Well, this is embarrassing and awkward, Tonks. Why can't you keep your mouth shut? He is probably now replaying every tutor session in his mind to scan them for your hidden glances and pink blushes. You are totally creeping him out. Perhaps, he won't take your love declarations seriously now and label everything under the headline "schoolgirl crush". You need to do something before he closes himself off," a panicked voice screamed inside of her mind.
Before she could compose a plan of action, a flustered Tonks blurted out, "I'm sorry if I'm creeping you out, Severus. You have to believe me that my feelings for you are more than the silly schoolgirl crush of my youth. Sure, I will admit to you that I wanted to kiss you since my seventh year and had some wet dreams about you after some of our Occlumency sessions years later, but I only started to have deep feelings for you in the last couple of months. During our private talks and chats about new ways to upgrade our spy work and defeat Voldemort, I have realized that I love spending time with you, think about you every day and am attracted to your personality as well as your looks. I promise you that my feelings aren't some short-lived teenaged girl's infatuation. I know that we can find love with each other."
She gazed unsure at his blank face, intertwined their fingers and went on in a shy voice, "I know that you are too professional to notice any crush of your students. If I'm totally honest although my eighteen-years-old self would have been overjoyed if her Potions Master granted her some kisses, I'm relieved that you see your students strictly as students and don't fall for their attempts of seducing you. It only proves that you are an awesome teacher and a good man, albeit I would bet my mum's precious best fire whiskey on it that many witches tried to tempt you with some dirty tricks. Merlin, in my most desperate times I also cut my skirt a few inches shorter or morphed my eye color into a seductive honey-brown. And I must say that it is a miracle that you with your extraordinary observation skills and your natural gut feeling didn't figure me out. Damn, you must really think that I'm a hormone-driven fool ..."
Tonks's rumblings were cut off by Severus's passionate kiss. He caressed her back gently and whispered into her ear, "Nymphadora, please stop your self-flagellation. I'm flattered that you had a schoolgirl crush on me. But I love even more that you have deeper feelings for me now. Don't get me wrong, you are a stunning woman now and I realize that you must have been a stunning teenager, but I see my students strictly as students and I haven't noticed that you were hot for me at Hogwarts. Hell, with my hooked nose, greasy hair and bullying teacher personality I wouldn't label myself as a teenaged witch's dream come true. I have never been chased by girls who wanted to get into my pants. If I'm totally honest with you, I had an unrequited teenage love affair, but no serious relationships, only one-night stands, and short-lived flings till now. I guess we will figure this relationship thing out together."
He pecked her on the cheek and chuckled in an amused voice, "And I don't write you off as a hormone-driven fool, although I bet that I'll curse your hormones in the coming months, for our children will definitely wreak havoc inside your body. And you look adorable while you are rambling like this. Like a beautiful fairy that lost her navigation system." Tonks nudged him in the side for this jab and embraced him tightly. "We will figure everything out together and you don't need to be embarrassed about your past crush on me. Although I know that I have difficulties with talking about my emotions and trusting other humans, I promise you to always see the good in you, take your feelings into account and battle my mistrusting nature. I expect that you will be totally honest with me, lash out at me when I enrage you and kiss me senseless when I make you happy, and I will try to be open with you. You have gifted me this miraculous opportunity of living out a life full of love, happiness, and family. And despite the spiraling war and my complicated role in it, I want to make the best out of this new chance." Severus uttered in an emotional voice.
Tonks gazed into his warm obsidian eyes gratefully, kissed him on the lips softly and replied with a smile on her lips. "I promise you to always be honest with you and put my safety and our children's safety first. Hell, you won't have issues to interpret my moods, for I will voice my anger as well as joy quite loudly. I will support you in your spying work, always take your side and believe in the good of your heart. I will discourage your self-doubts, stop your self-flagellation and be your partner in crime. I can't believe that I have the chance to raise children with my magical soul-mate. And I won't let the nose-less deranged maniac Voldemort and his band of sadistic misfits destroy my happiness, Severus. We will be this close-knitted happy family in secret till Voldemort is defeated. And after our victory, I will climb on top of the Astronomy tower and give you the sappiest love declaration ever." Nymphadora mumbled with happy tears in her eyes, basking in his warmth and pulling strength out of their close bond.
After some minutes of embracing each other, Severus guided Nymphadora back on his comfy couch and lounged himself, with her head resting on his chest, on it. Despite the wholeness and happiness, he was feeling in this moment, it dawned on him in the back of his mind that he needed to confess the details of his Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa and his impending role in Dumbledore's death to her. He knew that her Occlumency shields were strong enough to keep his secrets and that she would be a huge comfort on his dark path. But he also realized that his role in Dumbledore's chess game would enrage her, let her question Dumbledore's qualities as the leader of the Light Side and fear for his life and emotional wellbeing. Looking deep into her indigo eyes, seeing the love and trust in them, he felt that he needed to be honest with her now.
Hence, he took a deep breath and stated in a calm voice, "Nymphadora, please promise me to not get too upset about my next confession. I know that we should probably talk about how we are going to hide my paternity of our twins from the Order, Dumbledore, the Dark Lord, and the Death Eaters or how we are going to inform your parents about my future role in your life, but I need to discuss a troubling and life-changing matter with you first. You are definitely not going to like it and be barking mad about it, but please keep in mind to not stress yourself out and that I'm a capable strong wizard." He looked into Tonks alert indigo eyes, noticing her trust and intrigue, and spoke in a softer voice. "You are aware that I took an Unbreakable Vow with your aunt Narcissa to protect your cousin, my godson Draco, and help him complete a mission for the Dark Lord. In front of the Order, I stated that I don't know what Draco's mission entails. That was a lie. The Dark Lord has tasked him with the mission to kill Albus Dumbledore. And I need to avada him at the end of the next school year, for Draco won't be able to carry out this deed. He has a too gentle soul to be a cold-blooded murderer, despite his arrogant dark wizard act."
Severus took in her shocked face and felt the livid outbreak in the air that would undoubtedly follow if he didn't carry on with his explanation. "I realize that you are probably torn between your emotions right now. On the one hand, you know that I'm a spy on the Order's side who risks his life to defeat the Dark Lord. On the other hand, you ask yourself how killing Albus Dumbledore will help the Order and some devilish voice is currently whispering into your ear that I might be a traitor after all. You must believe me that I would never betray the Order and help this maniac win. Albus Dumbledore is slowly, painfully dying from a dark curse that he has caught this summer. He expects that I will kill him instead of Draco at the end of the next school year, for I know that it will be a mercy killing and spare Draco's soul. He basically calls it a medically assisted suicide that will enable me to play the Dark Lord's right hand while working undercover for the Order. He says that it won't rip my soul to kill a dying old man and save him from a painful death." Severus mumbled in a bitter tone, breaking his eye contact with the mother of his children and gazing in the emptiness of his chambers.
He couldn't risk a look into her eyes and see the despair, pity, and outrage in them. Tonks embraced him tighter, climbed onto his lap and urged him with a gentle touch of her fingers on his chin to look into her eyes. When his obsidian eyes met her indigo ones, he was flooded with her mixed emotions of anger, empathy, and determination. She said in a strong, steady voice, "I haven't doubted for a minute that you are on our side, Severus. You are such a strong, good-hearted, gentle and brave wizard and fight relentlessly for our victory that you could never betray us and be one of Voldemort's most trusted soldiers. A wizard that would rat out his friends, torture, kill and maim innocents for the call of power, wealth and fame or believe in a racist inhumane ideology couldn't be my magical soul-mate. I could hex Albus Dumbledore into oblivion right now, for I can't fathom how he can demand such an act from you. He is your mentor, almost like a father to you, how can't he see that he demands too much by ordering you to kill him?
"Merlin, sometimes I really think that we are all exchangeable pawns for the great chess player Albus Dumbledore in his game of power. I won't let this mercy killing split your soul and drive you into insanity. I will be there for your angry lash-outs at Albus, your desperate cries for salvation and your self-flagellation sessions, but I will also be there to remember you of your beautiful gentle soul, your amazing skills in the fight against the Death Eaters and the happiness, joy and love you bring into the lives of me and our twins. I won't let this act break you and rob the Order of one of their most powerful assets in the fight against Voldemort. Your secrets are safe with me. I will defend you against anyone and we will work out a plan on how to destroy the Death Eaters from within while keeping you save from the Order. Thank you for your honesty. It shows me how much I mean to you." She kissed him gently on the lips and whispered in his ear that everything is going to be all right.