So this next chapter will probably be the truest most favorite chapter I have written about my life. I loved writing this chapter and all of the events that took place happened. All my thoughts and everything I put into. I hope you enjoy! :D

So the week after Thanksgiving passed by super slow. I had just gotten over being sick, but I could tell I was getting sick again. I had been really super sick the previous weekend having to come home to my parents house just so my mom could take care of me. I felt so hopeless, because I had thrown up at my place. That's how sick I was, so not only did I not even eat much food because I was in a depressed state, but also because I was extremely sick. I think I picked it up from work as my boss had been extremely sick the week before herself. And mind you I hadn't been sick for almost two years since I graduated college. So it affected me even worse than usual.

I kept talking with Jane all throughout the week and one day I even decided I wouldn't text her at all. I didn't want to seem too eager to have a friendship. And that was the worst day for me, because all day I kept thinking about how much I wanted to text her, but I couldn't. I was proud I could go a day without her, but I was extremely miserable. Friday came around and I was not in a very happy mood at all. When I got home from work after being rejected by yet another date I thought would happen I took a piece of paper and wrote "REJECT" on it and then posted on my Instagram. I basically said that I kept feeling rejected by people, I couldn't have closure with a woman who catfished me 4 years previously. And I just wondered why I was still even alive. There was just no point to it anymore. Nobody would miss me. It was a pointless thing, but I'll still live for the sake of any people who do care.

At 2:34 I got a Facebook message. It was Jane. She was concerned about me, and once again she was reaching out to me. She said that I was different and people didn't sometimes deserve my presence because I held high standards for myself. And Jane didn't know that the post kinda was about her. I was expecting her to reject me at anytime, just like anyone ever did/does. And we talked about the fact that if I wanted to be happy I would have to change the fact that I wanted her. BAD. But I would have to split up a 5+ year relationship just because I was selfish and I wanted to be with her. So in the end I'm too good of a person to do that. I can't do that to her or anyone, it's just not how I rolled. But of course she couldn't know that so I told her that so instead I said that because me being happy would have to have other people happy, and it just wouldn't work that way. The people involved, aka her. Wouldn't be. Because she'd be split up with a long time relationship. And I even said that this isn't the first time this has happened. I loved a high school teacher, well more like a crush. And the same thing happened with Ash, until she moved away and I quickly got over that. And I even said that it was happening as we speak, which was the reference to her.

She replied back even asking that we could stop chatting and trying to give me a different light of things and of course I said no, just that she was seeing a not so happy side of me that I usually am at bell choir cracking jokes as if everything in the world was perfect, but inside I was dying to be with her. I really liked Jane, and I didn't want to burden her with any of my negativity. She said that she didn't mind, she wanted to go into psychology anyways and this would be her specialty over time. But if only she knew that these feelings were only getting stronger every day. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. My heart never listened to my brain no matter how many times it got hurt. It always had hope.

Eventually conversation moved along and I showed her a picture of the Wii game she had been into. I even gotten a bit of courage to invite her over to my house to come hang out and play. That was when she changed my depressed Friday night to one of the best nights of my life.

"Lemme ask Kyan and let you know. Yeah and then we could hang out and play some video games."

I couldn't believe the text I was reading, "Are you serious?!"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't want you to."

So before I knew it I was sending her the list of all the Wii Games I owned to see what she wanted me to bring over to play. She mentioned Mario, the Wii Party, and was curious about a rare title of Furu Furu Park. And for me I would bring Just Dance. Just in case she would want to boogie, maybe even do duet songs with me. And 4:30 or so rolls around and she texts me saying she's here.

I pretty much ran out the door shouting out to my landlady that I didn't know when I'll be back home, but I was actually going to Jane's house! I was so excited I couldn't believe she was here. Getting in her car I said, "I didn't expect you to actually show up."

"Well when I said I'm coming I'm coming Zeenz."

"I know just most people I meet always cancel is all." I was watching her, but she didn't look at me as she pulled out of the driveway. This would be the first time I would be going to her house. I would meet her four animals, see her awesome place, get a feel of the home, and well the part I didn't much care for meet this supposed boyfriend. I kinda hoped he would just go out and leave her alone with me, but I didn't want to get my hopes up to high. She mentioned that he probably wouldn't even join in on the gaming. Which shocked me a little bit. A guy who doesn't play video games? What?!

As we drove over I couldn't help but look at her, she was so beautiful. I tried not to make it obvious as I blabbed about anything and the first things that came to my mind. At street lights or stop signs I looked at traffic, even though all I wanted to do was watch her. Watch her hands as they turned the wheel. See her legs move to the motion of putting the car into gear. Seeing her chest go up and down to her breathing, watch her beautiful eyes as she scanned the area for traffic. Hear her lovely voice that I wish I could just cement into my brain and watch her lips move as she spoke. God. I was in trouble. This might be a fun night, but it also will probably kill me as well. All too soon we arrived at her home. She lived right next door to a pizza place and there was community parking on the street, with giant white lines I joked about the fact she probably went there often and she just confirmed it. I was just trying to keep things light was all.

She warned me of the potential dog poop but she said if we went diagonally across the back yard we should be good. I just followed her as I hopped the make shift falling down temporary fence put up to keep her dogs in the yard. She mentioned that the house was painted over the summer but the garage didn't quite get there and she apologized, I didn't mind. To me the house was nothing I didn't even care how messy it was or would be on the inside, my focus would be on her. Of course I'd have to watch myself when Kyan showed up.

When we got inside her little dog came up to me and it was a cute little thing, Zoe, is what she named her and it was so tiny compared to Sirius I almost missed the fact she had her paws up on me, "Why hello there little Zoe, aren't you just an adorable thing-" I was cut off by barking coming from around a little corner and saw the bigger of the two dogs. Huge dog.

"This is Pam. She's a handful."

"That's okay I love animals!" I walked over to the kennel area and let Pam sniff me and then petted her head, she seemed to calm down from barking after that. Before I knew it I heard the front door open and behind me well what I had been standing in after the back door was the kitchen and through the kitchen it turned into the living room. And there was the Kyan guy. He was skinny I'd give him that. He walked over and shook my hand introducing himself. I told him hello and said Zeenz. Nice to meet you.

"I'm going to let the dogs out." I heard Jane say and I turned around and followed her, I wasn't gonna stay in the house with a guy I knew even less for sure. Sides. Me and guys just never mixed well. I had a gaming friend who was a guy and he was about all the guys I could really handle in my life and I knew him for a couple of months now. I grabbed my jacket after I had already hung it on the coat rack and we went back into the nippy air. It was already dark, as it was November 30th already, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be near Jane tonight as much as I dared. I asked her if she wanted to play games first among other things or what not. She said we would and we both watched the dogs go potty. I didn't mind the silence, people always assumed silence was awkward and bad but for all my life to me it was just silence. I was content with just watching her dogs and her occasionally and soon we were back inside.

The first thing we did was play some kind of trivia game on the TV upstairs. She had a big TV too and almost was as big as the fireplace and we all were using iPad's the play the game. Of course I chose the character with the most green on it. Some pink mustached dude, who kinda looked like wharfstache Markiplier. During the game I knew that there would be one winner, one loser, and one in the middle. I had never played this before but I knew right from the start I would want Jane to win. And Kyan to lose. I was content with just having my goal come in 2nd place. You could do things to other players freeze their screen or throw gooey blobs on their interface of the game that could hinder points of the trivia and what not. I'd say about 95% of the time I always focused all my "mischief" onto Kyan. Jane was winning basically the whole game but I only touched her so that they wouldn't suspect I was only focusing her boyfriend. She was sitting next to Kyan on the couch and I was in the recliner sitting sideways to the tv. Pam kept coming over to lick my hand and have me pet her.

"You know you could just shoo her away if she's in your way." Kyan says.

"Nah it's okay, I have two hands," I smiled, "I don't mind she's really no problem at all." I hoped it hadn't sounded rude, but I really did love animals, and I already loved Jane's pets. I had met one of her cats too. It was soft and I loved the colors it had, orange, brown, and black but it wasn't a caleco, the main color it had was grey just with those other colors splotched onto it's fur. Absolutely beautiful.

By the end of the game Jane had won and I managed to get right into 2nd place. I was proud of myself. It turned out the exact way I wanted it to happen. But I hoped that maybe Jane and I could play together maybe she had another tv in a different room or something? I didn't know her house to well. She asked if I wanted a drink. She pulled out the Cream Whipped Vodka she had bought at the store just before we came to her house. And man that stuff was actually pretty good! She then pulled me over to her hobby. She diamond painted. I had never heard of it before she said she did it, kind of like how I did hook rugs. And she was working on one that was her favorite animal. I looked closer, they really did sparkle! In fact I even liked looking at it closer, the difference in some of the colors was even just slightly noticeable and I ran my hand over the painting, it felt really cool too!

"This is really cool Jane! This is going to be a huge one for sure!"

She giggled, "Yeah thanks. Want to go play Mario?"

"Sure!" I then followed her down into the basement where alas my wish came true with another tv. It was much smaller and cooler down here, but it didn't matter. I glanced at the diamond painting that was sitting on a table and it was Beauty and the Beast's rose from the movie and it was about the size of a square picture portrait it was so beautiful, a bunch of blues and pinks mostly.

"No Zeenz, that's not how you're supposed to look at it!" She walks over and takes the painting from under my nose and then steps away a few feet, "Now look at it."

"Oh come on, I like looking at the details up close! I think it's beautiful up close, from a far distance you just can't tell!"

She rolled her eyes but then put the painting back. After trying to figure out how to get her own controller to work we started off playing Mario. Her boyfriend had just stayed upstairs and I was cool with that. As we played Mario I sat right next to her, she was sitting on a footstool and I was in a chair. I really wanted to scoot closer to her, but I didn't want her to take notice so I stayed where I was at as we played. I had so much fun. She kept dying alot, but that's what happens when you don't know the game too well. We manged to get through about 4 levels as well as one boss level before she was done playing it. We moved onto Wii Party next.

We played the Wheel of Fortune version, then the Board Game Island and landed on the Global game, which to be frank I warned her I didn't like and she found out she didn't either, but by that time we had had at least three glasses of that cream vodka stuff, I still knew what was going on, but I wasn't even paying attention to the game. It was all on her.

At one point the other cat, the shyer one had come out as it was curious to know who I was. She had warned me that this cat didn't like much strangers, but she didn't know I was like a cat whisperer, I was half tiger myself. Or at least I considered myself one and the fact that cats loved me, was just a given in itself. Sure enough during one of the games. It jumped right into my lap and settled down for awhile. I pointed at the cat saying, "See I told ya so. They know I'm part of their blood."

She had just smiled. "Yeah okay." And we kept playing.

Through the whole night my focus was on Jane, I watched her to see what she did, I followed her and moved when she moved. I wanted so bad at some points of the night just to lean over squeeze her hand, give her a kiss on the cheek. I was falling so hard for her. Even with her boyfriend upstairs not even doing anything to be a part of our gaming session. At some points I was brave enough to show her photos on my phone and I would "accidentally" brush her hand, just even to slightly touch her. Every time I did I felt my face burn, my center grow hot slightly, and feel electrical currents ping from where I touched her deep down into my heart. When she beat a minigame or completed a level by herself against AI I patted her on the back gently as not only encouragement but also so I had a good reason just to touch her. I almost offered to give her a back massage, but I held my tongue on that one, I don't think we were close enough for that yet, and sides it would've been slightly awkward to just bring it up right away as just a passing of conversation.

She also learned more about me that night. At one point I kept telling her, "I want to tell you, but I don't know if I should. I don't want you to hate me." If she had any clue at all with the fact I felt like I was flirting, she probably was thinking I would tell her I liked her. But no, the dilemma was not about that at all, but about my wrist. The cutting I had done. Even in my fantasy of a relationship with her, I wanted her to know all of me, inside and out. And that would mean I would need to tell her about my cutting. In the end I said, "Jane I need to tell you something, please don't judge me too harshly okay?"

She had a concerned look on her face and her smile had gone away, "Okay, what is it?"

"Well, I even did it a few nights ago. I just- this is hard, but you gotta know if we do become close friends." I was stuttering pacing the room. "Okay just don't hate me."

"I couldn't hate you Zeenz."

I scratched my head and then said, "Alright." I moved my hand to the giant bracelet that hid my scars and said, "I might as well just show you."

By this time she looked down where my hands were at, "Zeenz. Don't you-" I pulled up my bracelet and she saw the red lines of the word, HATE, cut there, it was still healing and red but it was never sore anymore, "God damn it I knew it."

"Oh, you did?"

"I mean I figured it out. People go through shit all the time. I understand, I just myself have never cut."

"I never wanted to. But for me it does help get the pain out of my hear to elsewhere. I also have done it on my thighs."

"Damn it Zeenz."

I put my head down, "I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know in case. And in bells you might've been wondering what was underneath the bracelet, well now you know."

After that I think we became even closer. We played a round of darts, I had never played before but it seemed like fun. I would do anything and everything with Jane if I could. We had gone up for refills of drinks and she asked if I wanted more I said, "Well if you pour it I will drink it, it is up to you." And indeed she kept giving me more. A/N: So be aware I'm getting really tipsy this far into the night. So my memory is spotty in places I remember alot about that night but mostly I just remember being with Jane. So sorry!

After darts it seemed to be wrapping up to a close, it was now 2am and I had been there at least since 4:30 if not 5 and it was time to go home. I really didn't want to. But I wasn't the one who lived here. As I gathered up my stuff she walked into the living room and I followed her like I had been all night. And Kyan was there right on the couch he hadn't moved and if anything he looked extremely comfortable and lazy, and he had been watching Family Guy all night long. Every time I came upstairs to get another drink or grab something with Jane he was there, not moving, and to me seemed like not caring that I was a guest in this house. He had offered a me a smoke in the beginning of the night. But I told him immediately I wasn't a smoker. Cigarettes or marijuana, I hated both of the smells of it, but I was a guest so I just put up with the smell, at least it wasn't too noticeable. And I noticed another thing either Jane was being polite with me or she didn't/doesn't smoke either. And that made me happy. I would've been fine if she did. But her not doing it when I was there was super nice.

"I'll see you in a bit Kyan, gonna take Zeenz home."

"Okay." She gave him a peck on the lips and turned around. During this whole interaction I was thinking, where's the "I love you", the "Hurry back home sweetie.", "I'll miss you" something. Anything but "okay." If it were me I would've taken Jane right into my body planted 50 kisses all over her face before ending on her lips and growled at her, almost threatening her to come home soon for I would want to kiss her 50 times more. But all I saw was a peck on the lips and no romantic connection. I could feel no sparks at all, he didn't even pick up his arms to hug her. It was just a peck almost like they didn't even want to kiss. I still didn't look at the kiss because I knew it would kill me to look, but I heard it, and it was very brief. I couldn't believe it. Did he just not CARE?! I almost was pissed off!

I then followed her out to the car and we got in and she drove me home. When we got back I thanked her again for the amazing night I had, probably the best one I've had for a very long time and hope we could do it again sometime, I wished her good bye and to sleep well and I would see her Sunday for the final rehearsal before the concert the next Saturday. I was so happy! I almost didn't get out of the car but stay in there forever, but I knew I couldn't linger too long for fear of her noticing and saying something so I sighed on the inside and got out. As she drove off I watched her. Until I didn't see her car anymore I walked into the house and went to my room.

Tonight was so perfect and the entire time I knew I was in trouble. I was falling for her so hard. I looked down at the latest hook rug I had just started working on, I would have to finish it tomorrow. It was the hook rug I made Jane for Christmas. I hoped she would like it. I was putting all my love into it, and I had only worked on it for three sessions tomorrow would be the 4th and hopefully the final time I would have to and it would be finished. I sighed as I got into my pjs and crawled into bed. Tonight was perfect, the only more perfect thing would be was if I could've held her in my arms, told her I liked her, kissed her goodnight, and told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world I had ever laid eyes on. I fell asleep almost immediately to the first dream I had had for years. And it was all about her.

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Keep in mind I'm writing from memory so it may be splotchy, as well as grammar and what not, when I write I just write, I don't go back and change much of anything, so I hope you enjoyed! We are almost to "present" day and when we get there, the story will start going into a different direction! Called in my head! :P Anyways thanks for reading! Until next time, happy viewing!