Hi, I'm so sorry that it took this long to update! My laptop broke and then I had GCSE mocks! Hope that you guys think it was worth the wait. Please comment because I would love to hear some feedback on my writing.

Disclaimer- Violence and mild sex

Another disclaimer-Unfortunately I don't own any of these characters. *sobs*

TAN

I immediately burst into tears and Prim starts to try and sooth me before I run up to my room, lock the door and refuse to come out. Prim and mother try to get me to explain why I started sobbing just because of a letter.

I can't do this! I can't do this! Two weeks! That's all I have! I wonder what this man will be like, if it is even a man. Who knows? I need to convince Gale to have sex with me before it. My selfish side wants to do it with Finnick because it means I wouldn't risk destroying my friendship with Gale. But I know Finnick loves Annie and is already forced to have sex with enough people anyways.

When I think they have gone and I have cried myself out and come up with my cover story, I open the door and creep out. At once Prim has pushed me into my room and shut the door behind us.

"I know you don't want to tell mum, but you can tell me." No. I can't, but she can't know that.

"Oh Prim, it's nothing. Just had a flashback" I can tell that she doesn't buy it

"Then why was it triggered by that letter?" Oh my god! Why can't she just swallow my lies whole!

"I don't know! They just come sometimes!" Well, I'm not lying, they do.

"I don't get it."

"I didn't think you would! You've never had to go into the arena! You have no idea what it's like!" she starts to cut me off but I'm already in my stride. "And don't even say you've grown up watching the games! That's nothing compared to being in them!"

"No Katniss, I don't, but maybe I would if you helped me?" She says in a calm voice

"I've already told you; don't ask me about the games." She seems to understand and she leaves me hugging myself, lost in my own thoughts.

I am surprised when my mother walks in.

"If you've come to give me a lecture you can leave."

"I haven't actually; I've come to tell you something. I know I've never been in the games but I've seen the effects of it, and I'm not as naive as others to think it's the victors' own faults. Think about it, nobody comes out of the arena really. You either lose or survive, there's no winning really." Yes, that is exactly right, I never really won the 74th hunger games, only survived them. "You know what Haymitch is like, lots of people here blame him, but I know why." How does she know all this? "Has Haymitch told you about his games?"

"Only a bit about the aftermath of it." I don't know if I'm actually aloud to say that the Capitol killed all is family, but my mum gets it.

"Well, as you know, 48 tributes were picked, and," she takes a deep breath and says. "My best friend was one of them." This shocks me, I've never heard of this friend, but I know that mum would never tell us because we would want to know how she died. "Her name was Masillee Donner." Donner? I know that name.

"Like Madge's mum?"

"Yes they were twins." My mother says sadly.

"Is that why-" My mother nods before I even finish. Madge's mum has terrible headaches that keep her in bed for days.

"You see, the games can leave scars on people who have never even been to the Capitol. But I know, it's much worse actually being in them. See, he blames himself for not saving her. It's quite like you." Wow. I never knew I shared this bond with Haymitch. "But he didn't even have any family to help him get through it. I know before I even ask that you're not going to tell me, and I understand that. I don't want you to fall into a vice for comfort as many other victors do. So you are going to walk out that door and talk to Haymitch and if you don't want to do that, call Finnick. I'm not going to lose you the way you had to lose me. I will never forgive myself for that, and I know you wouldn't either."

"Thanks." I surprise myself by hugging her. "I'm really sorry but I'm going to the Capitol in 2 weeks."

"Okay Katniss. Why don't you go talk to Haymitch?" Just then someone knocks on the door. My mother goes to open it. After a few minutes she walks in, she looks terrified.

"Katniss, there's someone here to see you."

"This way please, Miss Everdeen." It feels odd to be ushered around your own home but I don't say anything. I understand my mother's trepidation when I walk into the office and am greeted with President Snow.

I'm about to say something when he raises his hand, as if to shush me, until he has finished his page.

"Please sit Miss Everdeen. I am very pleased to say that Mr. Odair spoke most highly of your performance. I just pray for your family's sake that you haven't peaked too soon. I'm afraid I haven't just come to say hello. I would like you to show me around this quaint district of yours on Sunday. I will here at 10:30 sharp" Gale will be furious. Sunday is the only day he is able to see each other.

He gives me a victorious expression; he knows that he is denying me of seeing Gale for most of the day. I'm sure he wouldn't want to have a tour of 12 otherwise.

"It would be an honor."

He walks out and I follow him.

When he is gone my mother anxiously asks, "Katniss, what was that about?"

"Oh, it was nothing. He just wants me to show him around 12." She looks shocked at this.

"Wow. That must be an honor." She chokes out finally.

"Yeah. But it means that I can't see Gale until the afternoon. I'm going to go see him tomorrow, even though he'll be tired. I think he'd like to find out from me."

I spend a restless night tossing and turning, wondering how I will break it to Gale.

Saturday dawns bright and warm. Prim persuades me to walk with her to town to buy some bandage for my mother. I've never been in the apothecary. It's run by mum's brother but he hates people from the Seam which is why he hasn't spoken to my mother after she left town to marry my father. She must have really loved him to live in the Seam.

"I feel I haven't talked to you about anything normal anymore." Prim snaps me out of my ponderings.

"That's because there is nothing normal in my life anymore Prim." The Capitol took away anything normal the second they her name out in the reaping.

"Yeah but there are still normal things about your family and friends' lives and they're part of your life." True.

"Okay, how's school?" School seems pretty ordinary.

"Quite boring, but it's better now." Yeah, school was always boring; one of the only good things about winning the games is that I don't have to go to school anymore.

"Why's it better now?"

"Cause you're not in the games." She says bluntly. I guess I never really thought what watching your sister in the games would be like. It must have been awful for a girl who's scared of everything. To be honest it would be awful for anyone.

"Yeah. Just so you know, I have to show Snow around 12 tomorrow so he'll come to our house at 10:30."

"But that means you won't be able to see Gale in the morning!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm not happy about it either, but you can't say no to the Capitol."

At that point we walk into the apothecary.

"Can I have one roll of bandages please?" This raises the eyebrows of the person who must be mum's brother.

"Sure you can afford it?" He says in a malicious voice. He must not be able to recognize me under my hood.

"Yeah, fairly sure." I try to ignore his condescending expression.

The price he announces with his smug smile is clearly too much. It's not that I care about him wanting more money. It's just him wanting more money because he doesn't want me to be able to afford it, since he thinks I'm from the Seam.

"Isn't that a bit too much?" I say with a calm voice that I'm trying to keep that way.

"No it isn't, just a bit too much for you." He says with a sneer.

I look at the prices see that the correct amount is a lot less than he says it is.

"The signs say it's a lot less than you say it is."

"The signs are wrong. I can't have you seam rats using all my supplies to try and live your wretched lives for a bit longer." This makes me want to slap him. Instead I just pull of my hood.

"Actually, I'm not from the Seam, I'm from the Victor's Village." I say in my sweetest voice. His face is hilarious. It turns into a mask of shock and then horror.

"Oh…uh…sorry Miss Everdeen." He apologizes for ages then gives me a reasonable price.

When we walk out Prim starts to giggle.

"Did you see his face?"

"Yep. To be honest all I wanted to do was slap him."

I spend the rest of the day hunting, which is good because it keeps my mind off things.

At about six I take the game to Hazelle.

"Oh, hello Katniss."

"Hi. Here's the game. When does Gale come back again?"

"He should be back in a few minutes."

"Okay, thanks."

"Why don't you sit down?" Hazelle says kindly

Just as I lower myself down Gale stomps in.

"Katniss? What are you doing here?" He says with surprise.

"I need to talk to you." He takes the hint and we walk out of the house

"What?"

"Gale, I'm really sorry but I have to go back home at about ten tomorrow because Snow wants me to show him around 12." Gale scowls at me.

"Fine." And with that he storms back into his house.

I walk back home lost in my own thoughts. Prim and my mother try and coax some stew into me but I refuse and just decide to go to bed early.

However when sleep finally comes, it is filled with Peeta. When I wake up I feel tears on my cheeks. It's only four so I just sit on my bed, crying for Peeta.

At some point Prim comes in and embraces me.

"I'm sorry." I hiccup. "Go back to bed."

"No. I'm not going to bed until your fine."

"I'm never going to be fine!" I shout at her. She looks shocked, but I couldn't care less. It feels good to shout at someone.

"Katniss, you don't know that." She says reproachfully.

"Yes I do! Look at all the other victors! Do they look fine to you?"

"Some of them do. And you're going to be one of those people."

"Which ones look fine then?"

"Well, Finnick didn't look too bad."

"Just because he didn't look bad doesn't mean that he wasn't feeling bad! He's just good at hiding it!"

It takes Prim about an hour to calm me down.

"I'm really sorry Prim. I can't believe I shouted at you like that."

"Don't worry. It's always good to get things off your chest."

I get into my hunting clothes and set off to the woods. I'm sitting on a rock at Gale's and my special place when he taps me on the shoulder. I guess part of me will never leave the games, or the games will never leave me, because I instinctively swing around, punch him and draw an arrow before I am aware of what I am doing. I look down in shame.

"Sorry."

"Still in the games huh?" He says, wincing as he feels his eye. "You have a good punch."

We hunt as usual, but when it's nearing 10 I say. "I have to go now. I should be back at around you want to meet at our place?"

"Sure. I might as well walk back with you. I have things I have to do in town and I think my family would like to see me."

When I get home I take a shower and put on a green sweater that Cinna made and a pair of trousers that apparently are called jeans. I sit at the top of the stairs until I hear a knock on the door. I run downstairs, take a deep breath and open the door. I'm surprised because the only person I can see is a man who is wearing the outfit of a capitol attendant.

"The president has requested that you walk to the square. You will be greeted there."

"Okay." I'm really confused. I can't understand why I would need to walk to the square first.

The first thing that I see when I enter the square is two capitol men, looking very out of place.

They see me and walk over.

"Why hello Miss Everdeen." One of the men says flirtatiously. He has styled blue and green hair, with black stubble and to go with it, a grin on his face which shows off his gleaming white teeth. He looks to be about other man has cold eyes and an ugly smirk. He hands me a letter.

Dear Miss Everdeen,

These men have purchased you and will spend their time here with you. You will also have lunch with them at the Mayor's house. Do exactly what they want; I've heard the mines are very unstable at the moment.

Yours truly,

President Snow.

The man's smirk increases. The one with the blue and green hair courteously pulls out a bouquet of roses, more specifically Snow's roses.

"My name's Achilles. He's Caligula." He jerks his head

"Thank you, they're lovely." I say with a forced grin.

"Not as lovely as you though." Uh, romantic talk.

"You don't look so bad yourself." I force out. He lets out a hearty laugh. Then he pulls me in and starts to kiss me. I think Prim and start to kiss back.

When we break apart I can see people glaring at this are what it's like to be Finnick. As I slip my arm into his I see Gale storming out of the square. We make idle chit chat as we slowly meander to Mayor Undersee house.

"So what makes you come all the way to 12?"

"The President requested us to check on the Mayor. He said we might as well get used to dealing with politics."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you don't know? I've just become one of the more important 's been up there for quite a while. Now he's only a few down from even say we're VIPs."

"Wow." Luckily I don't have to talk about gamemakers anymore because we have arrived at the Mayor's house and Madge is there to greet us.

"Hello, why you don't come in.I'm afraid I don't know which one of you is which. See, they gave us your names but not a picture to with them." She gives with a very fake laugh.

"Oh, well I'm Achilles Romero."

"So you must be Caligula?" Madge says cheerfully.
"Yes. We'll go talk to your father while Katniss gets ready." They walk off and Madge leads me to her room. She sits me down on the bed.

"Katniss, I'm so sorry."

"I thought nobody was supposed to know." I say bitterly.

"Well, somebody needs to get you ready."

"I don't know if I can do it." Madge grabs my hand.

"Yes you it for Prim."

"Okay." I say meekly. She pulls me into a hug. Then she gets up and hands me a bag with small amount of cloth in it.

"Is this what I'm supposed to be wearing?" I say in disgust.

"Yes." She says with a similar expression to mine. "I'll show you to the room and then you can change." Just as I've finished changing Caligula walks in with a triumphant smirk.

"Do you know my name Katniss?" Why can't he just get it over and done with?

"It's Caligula."

"Well done. But it's the last name that might shock you a bit. It's Crane. Yes Katniss just like Seneca Crane. He's my father. President Snow wasn't thrilled with your stunt with Rue and the flowers. He was especially displeased with my father for not having the brains to send a gust of wind to blow them away. When the President isn't very happy with somebody that somebody doesn't continue breathing for very long. So I've decided to come and make you pay." Oh shit! "The President doesn't want your face to be ruined and said that no broken bones were aloud but anything else is fair game. So I brought this lovely medicine. Any mark will be gone immediately." His smirk is curling as he slaps me so hard that I see stars. As I fall onto the bed he grabs my wrists and laughs when I try to wriggle free. "Now, now Miss Everdeen, no resisting, otherwise I may have to tell the President you did very badly." He shackles my wrists and ankles to the bed posts. He rips my bit of cloth off and roughly grabs my breasts. All I'm thinking is for Prim, for Prim, for Prim. He punches me in the stomach and grabs my thighs roughly. He carries on like this for quite a while until I feel very bruised and battered. Then he pulls off his shirt and trousers and lies on top of me, biting my neck and he inserts his penis and I scream at the pain. "Be quite Everdeen, you're not being a very good client." I bite my lip as he pushes in again and again, grunting. He unshackles me as well and giving me a few blows at the same time. He tells me to turn over and I do and see him pulling out a whip. "Please no." I whimper.

"Shut up!" He shouts as he slaps me back, knocking all the air out of Prim, for Prim, for Prim. He whips me again and again, sending flares of pain through can't be a proper whip but it certainly does hurt. He spanks me and then starts giving me what I've been unfortunate to hear other girls call an anal. It hurts a lot and all that's keeping me from crying out is the thought of Prim. He finally gets up and roughly turns me around. He smashes me in the gut and slaps me again. "Does that feel good, bitch?"

For Prim, for Prim, for Prim. "Yes." I choke out.

"Excellent, I'll give you a few more then." He throws me around like a rag doll but I can't do anything to stop him. He puts his hand on my windpipe and vocal cords and smirks as he asks. "Want more bitch?" I can't respond and he smacks me and shouts. "Answer me bitch!" He lets go of my throat. "No." I croak.

"I think I'm going to call the President to tell him what a bad girl you've been."

"No! Please!"

"You've told me that you don't like this and you've tried to stop me from doing other things. It's your own fault." He kicks me brutally few times and then grabs a hand held phone.

"Hello, I would just like to inform you that Katniss Everdeen has been most displeasing towards me. She wouldn't let me get close to her and she even laughed in my face when I asked her to get undressed. Could you please inform the President...Yes...Thank you." He turns around and gives me an evil look. "Get up." I do and he pushes me onto the bed and puts the cream onto my face, deliberately putting some in my eye, which stings even more than that weird shampoo from the Capitol. He also puts it on my neck and hands. "Everything else should be covered by clothes. But I think I'll leave this for your wounded boyfriend to find." He gives me a hickey and starts to walk out with the cream.

"Wait, you haven't done the rest of my body."

"Oh, I didn't mean to. Wouldn't want to take away all the pain would I?"

At least we can all agree that Caligula's a dick. Please comment. I'll also try to update as quickly as I can.

TAN