And he goes on:
"This is the end, my only friend~"
Chapter 5
Actually Shizuo hadn't really thought about what to say to Izaya when he had knocked the man's door. But now, that the flea was standing right in front of him scrutinizing him with baffled eyes, he didn't feel the same certainty as before anymore.
The smile frowned on his face when he looked embarrassed to the side avoiding the flea's gaze.
"Do you mind me ... coming in?" he asked stroking awkwardly with one hand through his hair.
He didn't get any reply at first and was already expecting the flea to just send him home again, but then the raven stepped to the side allowing the blond to enter his apartment.
Shizuo mumbled a quiet "thanks" when he entered the entrance and let his gaze move along the room.
The blond had never seen Izaya's apartment from the inside before, but now that he could scrutinize the furniture he thought that it looked more like a bureau than the home of a young man.
"Are you working here?" he asked facing the raven again, who was slowly closing the door behind them.
"Yes. Sometimes my job requires my whole attention. It's easier this way." the raven just replied neutrally when he came a few steps closer to the blond, both now standing in the middle of the room.
Now that the raven was standing closer to him Shizuo could see the still present shadows under the man's eyes.
Hasn't he slept at all? he thought noticing that the raven even looked a little paler than the day before.
Indeed Izaya looked unbelievable exhausted, and an alarm began to ring in Shizuo's head when the Informant suddenly contorted his face in pain.
"Are you ok?" the blond hurried eyeing the raven with worry.
"It's fine. Just a little headache." Izaya answered ignoring the blond's concerned look while he walked to the couch he had just laid on a second before and sat down.
Observing every movement of the raven Shizuo could clearly tell that Izaya was not fine. He had never seen the Informant like that before. His movements were erratic and weak. He was walking slowly stepping from one foot to another from time to time as if balancing his body height gave him serious problems. Then the raven let himself drop on the couch, closing his eyes in relief as if his body already missed the pleasurable comfort of sitting on it.
When Izaya opened his eyes again to watch the blond, Shizuo didn't know what to do.
He was standing awkwardly in the room struggling to find some words he could say.
"So ... ehm ... what did you do today?" he managed to press out unsteadily.
A wave of satisfaction was growing inside him, when he noticed that he had indeed managed to start a normal conversation with the flea-
but it died down immediately when he heard a small giggle reach his ears.
His eyes fell on Izaya sitting on the couch and a vein of anger already impended to appear on his face, when he didn't see a genuine smile but the annoying smirk of the louse, that could make his blood boil every time he faced it.
"What, don't tell me Shizu-chan is now interested in what I'm doing in my free time?~" he heard the flea's mocking voice say almost making him lose it like always.
Why can't this louse act normal only once in his life?! he cursed to himself reminding him of his goal to not let the monster come out.
Still Izaya was doing a fucking great job at enraging him.
"Instead of getting derogative immediately, you could just answer the question!" the blond barked clenching his hands to fists. Concentrating his anger there, it made him wonder how they didn't draw any blood yet.
"Oh, does Shizu-chan want me to treat him like a normal human now?~" the raven chuckled while positioning himself in a more beneficial pose on the couch when he flicked one of his switchblades open and pointed it into the beast's direction. "Well, but Shizu-chan isn't a normal human, so I'm afraid that won't be possible for me.~"
That was it.
Something in Shizuo's head snapped when he saw the sparkling blade in Izaya's hands.
Without thinking he stormed into the raven's direction and tried to grab him with both hands.
But his hands reached for nothing, when Izaya managed to jump up from the couch just in time and landed a mere meter behind it.
A vein had popped up at Shizuo's forehead when he was following the raven with his eyes before going around the couch to corner the man.
Izaya was standing with his back to the wall now, the room too cramped compared to one of Ikebukuro's streets for him to run away.
He was still pointing the blade into Shizuo's direction, narrowing his eyes into slits in preparedness to fight, when the beast was approaching him further and further.
He cursed himself a little for enraging the blond so carelessly.
He hadn't slept or eat properly for hours and his body felt unbelievable weak. Normally a little move like that wouldn't affect him at all, but this time he could already feel his pulse get faster and his breath going unsteady.
The stress had put his body under more pressure than he had expected and the raven was paying for that carelessness now.
When the blond prepared a punch Izaya wanted to dodge at first but the headache caused his vision to get blurry for a moment. Although it was only for a short time, it was still long enough to let Shizuo get hold of the hand that was holding the switchblade.
His other hand was still rushing forward in a punch, but Shizuo managed to step to the side and miss Izaya's head, when he saw the raven hesitate for a moment and didn't want to break the man's skull. The blond was thrown forward by his own strength pushing the raven further into the direction of the wall with him.
Izaya was pressed between Shizuo and the wall now, when the blond's fist rammed the wall next to the raven's head and left a whole inside the massive cement.
The Informant's hand with the blade was still twitching in the beast's hold, but he slowly gave up and let it fall when Shizuo tightened his grip a bit.
"Why do you always have to be like that?! I just wanted to know if you are all right?!" the blond shouted ignoring the smaller man who was struggling in his hold.
Although Izaya was at an obvious disadvantage here, he didn't show any fear. In contrary, he even shot an angry glare at the blond, when he heard the spoken words.
"Why do you even care?! You could give a damn about everything of this!" the raven screamed angrily still trying to push the blond away.
"I care for you, ok!? Whether you like it or not!" Shizuo screamed back only thinking about his words after they had left his mouth.
His eyes widened when he immediately understood what he had just done.
Oh god, why did he tell the flea that?!
Shizuo already prepared himself for the louse's mocking that would definitely follow, but nothing came. Instead of that Izaya was just standing there, his struggling stopped and the Informant's jaw dropped when he finally understood the meaning of the beast's words.
"You ... " he began but didn't finish his sentence and instead just stared at the blond with a stunned expression.
Shizuo on the other hand was surprised to see the genuine expression on Izaya's face.
The raven was seriously at a loss for words and the blond immediately felt a little proud of himself that he had managed to make the infamous Information Broker for once in his life shut up.
Still what he had said wasn't that weird to say - sure, between him and Izaya it was still unbelievable to even think the word "care" - but it was still a pretty normal thing to say considering the situation the flea had to suffer in at the moment.
Then again Shizuo remembered the things Shinra had said before and he felt a painful sting in his chest, when he concluded that Izaya most probably didn't hear things like that very often.
If Shinra was right, then-
The raven was afraid to get hurt, if he showed someone his true feelings. That's why he had most probably never tried to make any close friends in their group of people - or at least Shizuo had never heard of anything like that.
Thinking about Shinra's words the twins must have been the only people in this world Izaya was really honest with.
They were the only two in this world Izaya had a real bond with, where he could show his true feelings to someone else without being afraid of getting hurt-
where he could at least be his true self and not someone else, who was constantly wearing a poker face.
Realizing this made the whole thing even more painful for Shizuo. He almost felt guilty for getting enraged so easily again although he had exactly known in what kind of inner turmoil Izaya was.
Right now the raven was drowning in deep black water and he needed every little rock he could hold to.
Shizuo didn't hesitate for a second and put his arms around the thin shoulders taking the raven into a tight embrace.
He could hear him breath in sharply for a moment - he didn't know if out of surprise or of anger - but he wasn't willed to let Izaya destroy this moment with any words.
Shizuo had made up his mind.
He would help Izaya.
No matter what it would cost.
If the raven used words to daunt Shizuo, then the blond would ignore them knowing that he was just using them because of the fear of anyone getting close to him.
If the raven was afraid of getting hurt, then Shizuo would never let go of him again. He would embrace the raven with fondness until he was infolded in safety-
Until the raven would know that there was nothing to be afraid of as long as Shizuo was at his side.
"I understand ... that I'm most probably the last person on this planet that you want to show your true feelings to ..." he began still feeling insecure but his words were full of certainty nonetheless. "... but I promise you, that I'll never leave you alone, Izaya."
At first nothing happened. Izaya didn't show any reaction, while Shizuo was still holding him tightly enjoying the pleasant warmth of the smaller man's body in his arms.
After a while Shizuo could feel Izaya finally relax into the embrace. Small hands were buried into his chest making a warm feeling rise inside his whole body. Then the raven put his head softly to Shizuo's shoulder letting the blond feel the raven strands on his neck. He could smell a waft of Izaya's lovely scent causing a slight blush to appear on the blond's cheeks.
Shizuo felt a pleasurable wave go throughout his whole body, but it died down immediately when he heard the silent crying coming from his shoulder.
He didn't know what to do or to say until he finally put one of his hands on the raven's head and began stroking it gently.
Having heard Izaya cry before he knew that this weren't tears of sadness nor of desperation - when the raven had relaxed in his arms, he could immediately feel it. It were tears of joy, of relief for not being alone anymore, for finally letting go of the strain that had been put on the raven's small shoulders and giving some of it to the blond.
Shizuo was happy that he had found a way to help Izaya. Even if it wasn't the greatest thing in the world.
-even if he couldn't find his sisters with this.
At least he could make the raven's pain ease a little bit.
He closed his eyes and just continued caressing the raven strands until he recognized that the crying had finally died down.
"Izaya ..." he whispered the name into the man's ear but didn't get any reply.
Saying the name again he noticed that the raven must have been fallen asleep by exhaustion. The small frame was leaning against the blond's broad shoulder's without any reaction causing a little smile to appear on Shizuo's face.
Without any effort he picked the light body of the raven up and carried him to the bedroom where he carefully put him on the bed.
Now that there wasn't anyone who could interrupt him Shizuo was eyeing the raven's face carefully.
The signs of exhaustion were still visible on the man's face but they couldn't really reduce the man's beauty.
Izaya was indeed beautiful. Shizuo had known that from the very beginning, although he had always quickly abandoned those thoughts whenever they had occurred his mind.
He admired the long black eyelashes, the porcelain skin and the soft lips a little longer when he gently touched the raven's cheek with one of his fingers before he lifted himself onto the bed.
Pulling the blanket over both of them, he took the raven again into a tight embrace and dropped off to sleep.
This is really the last chap you'll get before Spain! Hope you enjoyed it!~
This was actually the first time that I ever wrote something fluffy and I'm still blushing like a stupid idiot xD
Oh my, how am I supposed to write the next chap?!~ ;)
However, please tell me what you think! I'm still pretty insecure about this and I really don't know if it's good or if I totally fucked this up :/