Thank you for keeping up with this story! I'm so happy to finally get to just fiction writing and get this off my chest! I hope you are enjoying the story so far and I can't wait to get into the future of this story. Again I write what I feel in the moment and it'll start becoming more of a dream and a story now on, not factual, I hope that's okay! And I hope you enjoy reading this next chapter because I enjoyed writing it!

I woke up to a new day outside, it was bright, it was sun shiny and I felt like I was coming off of a high. Last night was so special. Was it even real? It can't have been real...could it have been? Did I just kiss the love of my life? Truly? It was the 12th of January and this year started out shitty but after last night. I could live in this year. I wanted to live. I wanted to be everything for Jane. I was completely in love with her. And now, even slightly she felt like she could be mine. I stretched as I rolled off my bed and turned on my computer. Today would be a day of recording gameplay footage for my YouTube channel but even that seemed taxing to think about doing today. I just wanted to hang out with Jane be with her. But I also knew she was an introvert and so I would leave her with her space, if she wanted to talk to me today so be it. I just kept thinking about the kiss we had last night. It seemed so magical and she was, no wait is beautiful.

I didn't know what we were, or what we were going to be, but for me right now I knew that I was hers fully 100%. I didn't care she was poly, I knew I wasn't that way and I would only give my heart to her if it ever came up. I loved her and nobody else mattered. If we became something more than just what we were. Are we friends with benefits now? Are we dating? Are we girlfriend/girlfriend? I didn't know, but I did know one thing. I didn't want anyone else but her. I would've waited until the day she was married before I gave up all my hope and I'm so glad I didn't. It was well worth the wait in the end.

I logged into my computer and started watching Disney movies, I still had to to for the project of my tour over this upcoming summer and so I had to watch them all. At least now I was nearing the 90s as far as Disney movies go, I was getting real tired of the cheesy 80s. 70s was probably the worst decade to get through and I was super excited to get to the 2000s at least by that point I knew basically every Disney movie to come out and I was alive for at the same time.

I walked out to grab some breakfast and talked with my landlady, I wasn't ready yet to share the fact that I kissed Jane. For one thing, my landlady knew Jane was in a 5 year relationship, for another, she didn't even know that I was completely in love with her. As far as her eyes were concerned was that she was just my best friend pretty much here in this city. I went back to my room cereal and toast in my hands and watched Disney movies.

Half anticipating half wanting to just text Jane and ask her if last night was some kind of fluke. I mean, it had to have been. She was in a relationship, why would she want me? Why? I know she said she was poly, but I guess I just didn't understand what that meant. I've never really experienced anyone like that before. But no I wasn't going to contact her, she would contact me right? I mean, it's not like she's never before? Untrue, usually I was the one that instamesseged her all the time first. It never was the opposite. Just as I was debating whether or not I should message her at 2 today at 1 I heard the bleep of the Facebook app.

J: Hey, you there?

Excitement stirring inside me I messaged back quickly, but not too eagerly.

Z: Hey Jane. What's up?

J: Look, last night was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. I'm really sorry if I led you on. We shouldn't have kissed, I should have controlled myself and so should have you. I'm really sorry, but maybe it's best if we just stick to bell choir and band rehearsal and forget that last night ever happened. We should just stay friends.

I stared at the screen in front of me. The excitement dissipated, the hunger in my soul crashed, my body turned numb. This wasn't a dream, but now this is happening. I didn't know what to say. All the hope I had to be with Jane, even a small part of her life as her lover quickly evaporated. She rejected me. In a new way then everybody else had my whole life. She had kissed me, made me believe I could be a part of her life. And now is shutting me down. Cold feet whatever. This hurt. Alot.

Z: What made you change your mind?

I didn't want to make it seem like her fault, but I was scared that Kyan was something to do with this. Everything was always a guys fault. All guys are assholes. That's my motto that I've lived by for years and this was still the truth now. Something from last night to today she had a conversation with him, he probably told her no. Or said that she was no longer aloud to see me ever again unless it's for practice. I hated him. I disliked him before, but now I see his true asshole side come out now. He wouldn't marry her. He wouldn't give her children. He was always on the couch watching a stupid TV show not even giving her any attention. Making her clean, making her take out the trash, pay attention to the animals, and don't even get me started on when he got to drinking. Didn't even kiss her. Didn't say I love you. It pissed me off and he was the cause of this all I know it.

After watching the ... screen of the Facebook messenger pop up for a couple of minutes I waited anxiously and patiently. I'd just let her talk for now.

J: Look, I just don't want to talk about it. It shouldn't have happened.

Z: I see.

Inside I was breaking, this was a new way to break my heart and she was. Everything I felt for her was crashing down. Everything in my world seemed to be coming to an end. I didn't want it to happen, but it seemed to be not stopping at all. The woman I loved wouldn't even give me a chance. I had to understand, I understood for months and loved her at a distance, but this was just too much. I don't think I felt like living, after our conversation was done.

Z: Jane.

J: Please Zeenz don't make this more difficult than it is. I just can't do this right now. I'm sorry.

Z: It's okay Jane. You still respect me and I still respect you. If I have to wait many more months until you're comfortable, I will. I'd do anything for you, you do know that right? Anything.

J: Thank you Zeenz. I've gotta go, Kyan wants me to go get some food.

There she goes again doing his lazy work.

Z: No worries Jane, drive safe.

I wanted to add "I love you" to the end of it, but seeing as she just pretty much rejected me I held back. She shouldn't hear those words after what just happened.

J: Later

J: Active 1m ago.

I sighed, just when I thought I was finally going to be genuinely happy, this is what happens. I should've known I'd get rejected yet again. But I looked down at the bracelet she had given me at the gingerbread house making. She had handed it over to me making me promise that I wouldn't cut myself again while I wore it, and as it was waterproof I was never aloud to ever take it off. I told her back that as long as we were friends I would keep that promise. But now that this just transpired I don't know anymore, were we even still friends? Guess I'll find out tomorrow at rehearsal.

The rest of the day passed by super slow, I tried watching Disney movies to distract me, it didn't really help. I tried gaming, playing my favorite game, only played two and lost both matches before I gave up that as well. My emotion was spiraling out of control at what happened this morning. I was feeling broken, everything that was last night was now, according to Jane, completely a dream. I was dreaming that I had her and now that continues to still happen, I dream that I'm with her. That I am hers and she is mine and nobody else is in the picture. I should've known. But it doesn't matter, I still love her. I will still continue to love her, she may have rejected me through text, I will know for sure on Sunday at rehearsal whether she really just wanted to only talk at the rehearsals.

As I got into the night it was getting more intolerable, suddenly after one particular Disney movie that had romance involved I lost it. I started crying, hard. And I knew I wouldn't be able to stop for awhile. So I shut down the movie and crawled into bed and just cried. Thinking about how much I was in love with Jane. I even grabbed Wolfie my stuffed animal wolf I usually cuddled with at night and held him tight.

I loved Jane with everything I had in my bones, to every tissue and cell. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was a drug I couldn't stop taking. I wanted to kiss her and do so much more to her. I also wanted to know everything about her. I had never usually wanted that from someone. I wanted to know about her friends, her family, her passions, her desires, her dreams, her aspirations. But if she was just going to freeze me out would it even be worth it anymore...?

Time passed but I didn't know how long, before I knew it I woke up in a cold sweat. Panicking I jumped out of bed and went to my phone which I had left on my computer desk. It read 3:28am. Great I did fall asleep, well at least I knew I didn't miss work because it was Sunday now. I just had to shut off my computer and get back in bed making sure I set the alarm for the morning. My eyes were all crusty and and I could feel my skin crack under my eyes they also were really tired and hurt a lot. I didn't know how long I had been crying, but it wouldn't be the last time I cried about Jane. This was hurting me so much it felt like my heart was going to rip out of my chest. Wait a minute, my heart was already ripped out. Because it belonged to her. I gave it to her when I kissed her last night, well I guess two nights ago. And so I no longer had a heart anymore. She did and I knew I wasn't probably ever going to get it back.

Finally I fell asleep. I knew nightmares would come, but hopefully I wouldn't even get near the REM sleep cycle to even have them. It didn't matter, I didn't care, and to be be perfectly honest the nightmares in my dreams couldn't be any worse than what I was experiencing in life right now...

In the nightmare it started off pretty great, I was having a lovely picnic on a beautiful day in the country with the love of my life, Jane. We were eating a wonderful salad and sandwiches curtisy of me. And then we ended with a delicious green and yellow cake made by Jane. But as the cake was just finishing up there was a cry in the distance. It was a blood curling scream. I quickly looked at Jane and she gave me a worried look. Her eyes told me she was terrified.

"Wait here." I got up and raced off into the woods. The screaming became louder so I ran harder. I raced through the woods as fast as Flash and I came up a grueling sight. Blood was everywhere and I almost barfed at the scene. There was something eating a human who had passed out right in front of me. A pool of blood coming out of her stomach and when I arrived the monster looked up at me. It was something inbetween a pale zombie and a blood curling vampire. From behind me there was another scream. It was Jane. The monster in front of me smiled, blood pouring out of his jaws as he walked towards me.

"Blargh-reek...Kkkshh..." So it didn't know English and sounded like a zombie. In fact it even walked kind of like one, it more of hobbled towards me and shuffled its feet, I didn't know much more as I had already turned around and raced back to Jane. Deep in my gut I knew something was wrong. I knew that scream. It was her scream, I had heard it before when we had played horror video games and she had a jump scare once in a while. Especially in Alien: Isolation.

As I was coming back to our picnic area I saw Jane. She was lying on the ground. Dead. Blood gushing still from her neck. "NOOOOOOOOOOO" I raced to her side, her eyes were starry and she was already gone, her eyes were wide open and looking towards the sky. I should've never left her. Even with a scream that happened in the distance. I cried, hard. She was the love of my life, my wife and I had her killed by those monsters and I felt guilty. I didn't want to live in a world without her, no matter what my survival instinct told me to. I grabbed her hands and kissed them both pressing them to her chest as I closed her eyes and kissed her forehead. I heard movement behind me as I took off my jacket and covered her body. It didn't matter that I wanted to die, I was going to kill those monsters first.

Because this was a nightmare a katana suddenly appeared next to Jane's body. I grabbed it and swung with all my might, I knew the monster was behind me and as I swung the blade around and as I did the monster gargled as I split it in two as I stood up. But it didn't die there as the top half the body flew away and the bottom of the body went to its knees. But then something happened, the top half used it's arms to crawl at me slowly, it was still alive. What was worse was that the bottom half stood up as well and kicked me in the shin. Stunned for a bit I jumped back over Jane's body and circled around to the top half. So this was the zombie part of the monster. I then quickly stuck my katana into the back of the head of the monster right as it was about to munch on Jane. "You aren't touching my dead wife again you bitch." The bottom half then rested for good, so I had to focus the brain to destroy the monster cutting it to pieces wouldn't help kill it permanently.

So an apocalypse happened, now I was going to kill every one of these until I died. Nobody was going to murder me like they did my wife. I reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. There was a picture of us in there that she always kept around. It was on our wedding day. I took it out and put it safely into my front pocket. I'd never leave her image here and she would always be with me now.

As I stood up suddenly had hands around me. There wasn't anything I could do. Hands everywhere, I screamed but no one came. Teeth chewed on and broke my skin. Sounds of zombies ringing in my ears. I reached for Jane's hand. I would die here with her by my side. Even if it was the afterlife. I reached and reached for it but I couldn't find it. Suddenly I passed out...

Thank you for reading everyone! I just wanted to keep going, but I had this chapter for a reason with my very imaginative brain. And even if it's all completely untrue, it can't be all roses and rainbows yet! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Even if there was no romance involved this time. Don't worry. This story will have a happy ending. Just gotta wait for it! Thank you and until next time...Happy viewing!