Chapter Five: Hans' Secret

November 21, 1812

Warsaw, Poland

Anna put down the rag she was washing and watched the bubbles at the surface of the water pop one by one. She wished her troubles could be as simple as bubbles, popping into oblivion without an effort. Instead, they just keep multiplying, with each day like the dirt in this rag she was cleaning again and again with no end.

It's been four days since she found Hans in room 409 and stormed out of it in bitter tears. She didn't dare approach him again and she even denied speaking to him when Fria asked. In her distracted state she had forgotten to ask Hans if he had heard any news about Kristoff. Even her desperation for news of her husband's whereabouts could not make her approach her former fiance. She kept telling herself she was too angry with him to do so. He was still the same heartless man that betrayed her years ago and he was better off without her company. But she knew the reason she refused to see him was because she was afraid to hear what he had to say. He had discerned her ineptness as a royal and possibly her indiscretion with Kristoff that led her to marry in haste and forced Elsa to take her place. She had failed in her duty as a princess and she couldn't bear for Hans to judge her.

Anna shut her eyes to block out the haunting images of her sister at the mercy of her idiotic husband and his insufferable courtiers. It gnawed at Anna that she didn't know how Elsa was faring and the possible danger she was in.

Anna had written a long letter as a response to Elsa's news last week that Knudsvig had returned to Arendelle Castle. Anna had asked how Elsa was doing? Was Knudsvig treating her well? Were they getting along? Were they… well she hadn't exactly been able to put into words directly the burning question about her sister's more intimate relations with her husband. However, she hinted quite obviously that she hoped Knudsvig would be gentler with her or Elsa should just threaten to freeze him. Anna was about to send the letter yesterday with the latest supply wagon that arrived when another letter from Elsa came to her directly. Forgetting about her own letter, Anna hurriedly opened and read her sister's first:

Dearest Anna,

I miss you terribly and I am glad to know you are in good health. I worry for Kristoff every day and pray for his safety and that of our men. We held a funeral service for the latest batch of soldiers that were reported to have died in action. I personally visited their families and assured them they will receive the just pension provided for their fallen fathers, brothers or sons. The orphaned children will also be looked after by the crown.

Your children, I am happy to report are doing very well. Idunn can now recite the alphabet in three languages: Arendellian, French and Latin. I am starting to teach her phrases in German but she appears to be taking to it just as easily. She also started tinkering with the piano. Maestro Lorenzo has agreed to give her lessons.

Agdar, on the other hand, loves hearing stories about the army. He likes to stare at his Papa's portrait and he says he's going to grow up a soldier just like him. I commissioned a small Arendellian uniform for him on his birthday and he likes to wear it while he plays with his toy soldiers. I told him Lord Maledorn is always watching so he should be careful what he tells his soldiers and sister. He should only talk for now of building snowmen.

We all miss you so much and we hope to see you soon but you need not hurry home. Agdar and Idunn are well and send their love.

Your affectionate sister,

Elsa

The news on her children's progress brought tears to Anna's eyes and she spent several minutes just going over those lines that mentioned Agdar and Idunn's progress. However, when Anna was able to focus on the rest of the letter, she found something puzzling on some parts. She realized Elsa not did mention anything about how she fared. Moreover, the end of the third paragraph about her son confused Anna. Lord Maledorn was a villainous character in one of the Flynn Rider adventure tales their father used to read to them. Why make a reference to him? She read and re-read the words until the meaning dawned on her with chilling dread.

I told him Lord Maledorn is always watching so he should be careful what he tells his soldiers and sister.

Elsa wasn't just telling her about her son's imaginative play time. It was a warning for her. Someone was watching Elsa, intercepting her letters.

Anna quickly checked the seal of the letter and noticed an unusual thicker layer of wax just under it. It wasn't easily noticeable unless one was really looking close enough. It confirmed her suspicions. Someone was reading their letters and resealing them to avoid detection.

Anna understood the next line as an instruction to be careful on what she wrote back:

He should only talk for now of building snowmen.

Write only about positive things. Family affairs, she supposed were safe enough. However, what Hans said to her echoed in her mind:

Everything, and that includes marriage, is political.

Suddenly, nothing in the world felt safe anymore. She burned the letter she was to send to Elsa and spent a restless evening unable to compose a different reply to her sister. By morning, she only managed to scribble a few lines that she was well and glad of her children's progress and still hopeful of Kristoff's condition. It pained Anna that she could not express any sort of comfort for Elsa for fear that anything she might say may imperil her sister.

She went to her shift today in a complete daze. Even now, as she scrubbed the linen in her hands, her mind was in too much of a jumble she could not even remember if she had already rinsed the cloth before.

"ANNA!" a sharp cry pierced through her thoughts and she looked up to see her nursing superior, Sister Agatha, looking curiously at her.

"Yes?" She muttered softly.

"Are you alright?" the older Frenchwoman eyed her with concern. Sister Agatha was a middle aged woman with a wide girth and kind bespectacled eyes. She was a Franciscan nun who was as experienced with medicine as she was kind to her patients. When Anna first arrived at the hospital and realized her nursing training only covered the basics that made her inept at her tasks, Sister Agatha was there to mentor her and put her up to speed on the essential medical skills. Anna and all the young nurses looked up to her as a sort of mother figure. Right now her sharp eyes were staring at her, aware that something was wrong.

"We can talk about it later," Sister Agatha said when Anna did not reply. "There's a man—a patient in room 409—asking for you. The nurse there said he may only have a few minutes left and he's begging to have a word. Will you come and comfort him in these last few moments of his life?"

Hans! Anna's mind quickly thought. She felt torn with between fear and sympathy, but the sympathy won. It didn't matter anymore if he can hurt her. He was going to die and she might as well say good bye.

She nodded and followed Sister Agatha to room. As she walked on the agonizing long path to room 409, she came up with a firm resolve.

I forgive him, for everything. I'll hold his hand and say it. It doesn't matter whether or not he apologizes or if he insults me. He can't hurt me anymore. I'll let him go peacefully and I'll pray for his soul. The past doesn't matter anymore.

Her nursing superior stopped outside the room and held out a hand to her. "Do you need me to be with you?"

Anna shook her head. "I'll be fine. Will you give me some privacy with him?"

Sister Agatha nodded. "I'll ask the staff to clear out. There are other patients in the room but they're all asleep. We can talk about it afterwards, if you need to."

Anna thanked her for the offer. Sister Agatha entered the room to tell the other staff to leave while Anna remained at the corridor and used the time to compose herself. When the room was empty of staff, Anna drew a large breath and entered.

Her gaze immediately focused on Hans' bed. To her surprise, his eyes were closed and he looked unconscious. Her chest pounded. Was she too late? Did he die before she had a chance to speak to him one last time?

Then something in her peripheral vision caught her eye. Commandant Cloutier lay on the opposite bed, pale and gaunt but definitely conscious. He looked even sicklier than she found him the first time. Then she realized the awful truth: the dying man asking for her was not Hans. It was Commandant Cloutier!

She ran to his side and grasped his weak hand. Tears poured down her cheeks from immense relief that it wasn't Hans who was dying. Not yet anyway. At the same time, she was flooded with anguish that this dear man she barely knew was losing his life instead.

"P-pretty… Anna," he whispered in a voice so weak she had to move her head close to his lips to hear. "Good of you… to come…"

"Of course, I'll come for you. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

"I don't mind pretty Anna… I know why… That man," he pointed a weak finger towards Hans. "He… drove you away."

"I still should have come for you. He's just a horrible mannered person," she said.

Commandant Cloutier shook his head. "No… he's just hurt pretty Anna. He's hurt and he doesn't know how to show it."

"He can scream if he's in pain. We have laudanum for that," Anna replied in an attempt at a joke, but her tears just kept falling.

The Frenchman shook his head again. "No, not that hurt." He motioned to his chest, tapping at the center of it. "He's hurt here."

Anna caught his meaning. "Why would he be heartbroken? He's the one who broke my heart."

"Others have broken his," Commandant Cloutier explained. "You want to know his secret?"

He motioned for her to come closer and Anna did so. She wondered what could Commandant Cloutier knew about Hans more than she did.

"He is jealous of you."

Anna was confused. That was the last thing she expected to hear.

"You have love, he has not. He cannot stand to see you because of it. So he drives you away."

Anna stared at the man, unable to speak with astonishment. Commandant Cloutier had spoken a truth she already knew and yet hearing him say it made her look at it in a new light. She recalled the way Hans looked just before she left him four days ago. He was saying something about Elsa. He was sort of praising Elsa for being a good ruler, a good sister.

A good sister.

That's what Hans wanted that he couldn't have. She and Hans were both failures. He failed to win a kingdom through marriage to strengthen the political clout of his nation, and she failed in her duty to marry to secure the safety of Arendelle. However, even with her failure, Elsa didn't punish her but took on her burden so she could be free to marry the man she loved. Hans, on the other hand, was punished by his brothers, left to die without even the name he was born with.

"As I said before… you may choose to leave… after I'm gone," Commandant Cloutier said. "He may quietly slip into the night… but if you have the heart..."

"I do," Anna eagerly replied. "I do and I will take care of him, I promise. Until his last breath I will be there so he can at least feel that love even for a short time." She meant it wholeheartedly. She will be like a sister to Hans, the sibling he never had in his life.

Commandant Cloutier smiled. "I knew you didn't need much convincing. You are a good soul pretty Anna… You make this dark world we live in… worth living."

"It's been a privilege to meet you," Anna said as she kissed his hand.

He smiled at her. "The privilege is mine princess," he rasped. "I think I shall sleep now."

"Yes, sleep. I will be here," Anna whispered softly as she watched him close his eyes. She no longer wondered how he knew she was a princess. Any of the other nurses might have told him or perhaps even Hans did. They must have spoken at some point. Maybe Hans even put him up to Anna speaking with him. Yet even if Hans did, Anna no longer cared. She was still going to care for him. He may be dying but she wasn't going to let him die alone.

Anna looked into Hans' direction but he still appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Commandant Cloutier looked the same with his breath heaving constantly. She decided she will stay. He may yet wake again and speak to her. She will close her eyes just for a minute...

"Anna?"

Anna was startled by someone shaking her. She immediately recognized Sister Agatha's voice and she realized she had fallen asleep.

She got up, berating herself for sleeping. She immediately looked to Commandant Cloutier's bed expecting him to be still asleep. She couldn't see him for her view was blocked by two men covering the bed with white sheets. Her heart sank for she knew those two men. They were the ones that took away the dead.

"One of the nurses saw he passed on a few minutes ago," Sister Agatha explained. "I'm sorry Anna."

Anna went over to the bed and the men stepped aside for her. Commandant Cloutier still looked like he was just sleeping though his color had faded into the familiar pallid color of death.

"Rest well, my friend," she whispered to him as she pressed one last kiss on his receding hairline. "I'll remember what you said."

She watched as the men wrapped him in linen and took him away. Sister Agatha was murmuring a prayer under her breath but Anna could only gaze in silence even after the doors to the room closed on them. She felt a gentle touch on her sleeve.

"It's only three in the afternoon but I think you should go home Anna. Take an early rest for the day. The other girls and I can handle things," her nursing superior said softly.

Anna just shook her head, her gaze shifted to the opposite bed where she can see Hans slumbering but with labored breaths. "Another patient needs me here."

Sister Agatha said nothing but her eyes looked at her knowingly. "I'll have supper sent up to you this evening."

Anna thanked her and did not even wait for the older woman to leave. She picked up a fresh towel and poured water into a basin. She proceeded bathing Hans' heated face, watching as he winced every now and then but he did not awaken.

"I'm here now, Hans," she told him. "I'm staying right here."