Chapter Six: Memories of the Monster

"Let go... keep away... cold... cold... don't mind cold... keep moving... don't stop... the cold... keep moving... keep your guard up..."

Anna brought the compress on Hans' face to cool him and give him comfort. He had been muttering incoherently for hours. It began at ten 'o clock the previous evening. It was now nearly two in the morning by Anna's estimate. His temperature had risen drastically and his sleep was troubled but he did not wake up. Shallow breaths developed into mumbles then went into full length ravings. Anna barely understood his words. Sometimes she caught a name or it could be a place but she could not make sense of them. What seemed clear was his reference to the cold. It was always the cold and an urging to someone to keep moving. She speculated that he was remembering something about his more recent journey through the Russian winter. She had heard enough stories from the other soldiers to imagine what horrors Hans endured that could give rise to his nightmarish delirium. However, she couldn't help but think of another winter so long ago they both experienced and it brought to mind her own harsh wish for him to die in a cold, frozen wasteland.

Oh God, is this how it will end for him? He will die while imagining himself frozen to death just as I wanted? Please, please don't let this end this way. I never meant for him to suffer like this! She silently prayed but no answer came to her. Hans continued to mutter and she could do nothing but sponge him.

Anna felt the weariness of her body that ached for sleep. Several of her nurse friends have come by and told her to go home and rest but she refused them all. She couldn't tear herself away from him now when he could die just like Commandant Cloutier did just mere hours ago while she was unconscious.

I promised him I will be here, until his last breath. If tonight is his last, I will see him through it.

"Keep your guard... end winter... save them... save them all... no harm comes to the queen!"

Anna gasped and almost dropped her towel at Hans' scream. Elsa! He's talking about Elsa! She shook her head as she reconsidered. Elsa's not the only queen in the world. It could have been some other queen invading his subconscious mind.

"End the winter... bring back summer... don't be the monster... don't be the monster they fear you are!"

Oh no! It is Elsa!

Anna and her sister had long related to each other their experiences during those long hours of Elsa's disastrous coronation and Elsa mentioned how Hans had saved her from herself. Anna was remembering it now with a fresh pang in her heart. Hans' next words sent a chill down her spine far colder than anything Elsa can come up with as it brought the proof of what Elsa told her before that she never fully believed:

"Don't die on me… please don't die… I need you to end this winter… Your people's lives depend on it…"

July 17, 1806

Arendelle Castle

"He's going to hang?" Anna asked as she perused the official report from the Southern Isles on Hans' sentence.

Elsa nodded from the other side of her desk. "The Southern Isles' penalty for treason is death. He's scheduled to be executed in a month's time. King Caleb sent his apologies and hopes that this will heal the relations between our countries."

Anna felt an uncomfortable lurch in the pit of her stomach at such a drastic punishment. However, when she thought about how Hans gloated at her and admitted so casually that he planned to kill Elsa and later even witnessed him bring the sword to strike at her sister, she couldn't help but feel this was just punishment.

Elsa was looking at her intently as if she was waiting her to speak. However, Anna found she had nothing to say. Was Elsa waiting for her to cheer with this news? Well she suppose, she was internally. It felt oddly gratifying to know that horrid man was getting punished but she didn't exactly know how to put it into words.

A long silence passed between them and it was Elsa who broke it. "Anna, I'm considering asking for leniency for him."

Anna stared at her in disbelief. She expected Elsa was just going to ask her opinion on accepting King Caleb's apology, maybe repeal the trade suspension with the Southern Isles Elsa imposed, but leniency?

"What do you mean?"

"I'm thinking of asking King Caleb to reduce his sentence to life imprisonment. It's a long standing tradition in the Southern Isles. A death sentence can be reduced if the person that was offended offered to forgive the perpetrator and sent an official document with a statement of forgiveness."

Forgive the perpetrator?! Is Elsa out of her mind? "Elsa, this man tried to kill you!" Anna protested.

"I know but... he didn't succeed and I don't want him to die."

"But... a statement of forgiveness? You can't write off what he did to you, to us."

Elsa stood from her chair and began to pace her office. "I'm not asking them to set him free, just a reduced sentence. Anna, I can't... I can't let him die..."

"But why? He's dangerous. He didn't hesitate to strike at us."

Elsa continued to pace and Anna felt a sudden drop in temperature. Little flecks of snow started to fall from the ceiling of the enclosed study. Anna quickly stood up and gathered her sister in her arms. The snow gradually stopped and the room returned to its normal warmth once more.

"What's wrong Elsa? You can tell me," she asked when she finally let go off her sister, though she still held her hands tightly.

"Did you read the interrogation report on the Duke of Weselton's men that Kai submitted?"

Anna glowered at the reminder of those two men that attacked her sister. Weselton had an existing extradition treaty with Arendelle so Elsa was forced to merely send those two with their equally horrible Duke home. Once back in Weselton, they were not arrested even with the diplomatic protest sent by Arendelle. They were even reports that back at their country they were hailed as heroes that narrowly escaped a horrendous ordeal. The Duke was quite vocal about his experiences in Arendelle and was most likely the one that perpetrated the rumors now circulating in the European courts that Elsa was an evil witch who doomed her own country with her wicked ways. The ambassador of the Papal States had just cut ties with Arendelle due to such rumors last week. Had Arendelle been a Catholic country, the Pope would probably have Elsa excommunicated by now.

"I skimmed through it. It's all full of lies," Anna grumbled. "Those two would say anything to save their own skins."

"Perhaps," Elsa said as she pulled away from her hold. "But not all of it. Some of what they said was true."

"I don't believe that!" Anna cried out indignantly. "They just made all that up about you attacking them..." Anna's voice faltered as she saw Elsa wince. "Elsa... they were the ones that attacked you in your castle, right? You were only defending yourself."

"Yes, that's true. It was self-defense at first..." She paused as if considering her words then continued in a whisper without meeting her eyes. "But then I retaliated. I... Anna... I tried to kill them. I didn't need to. I already had them both subdued with my ice. They were no longer a threat but I didn't stop. I kept pushing one out my balcony and the other I was willing to impale with my ice. I wanted them dead Anna. I felt a power like never before, a freedom I never experienced and I was drunk with it. You can't imagine how that feels... to have the power to punish the people that hurt you."

Anna shuddered at her sister's admission. Elsa would never hurt anyone unintentionally. It seemed unbelievable that she was hearing this now.

"It was Hans that stopped me from killing them. He told me not to be the monster everyone feared I was. He reminded me of my own humanity at a time when I was willing to let it all go for my own freedom, for that taste of power dangerously mixed with righteous anger. I owe him that and more." She turned around to face her and Anna could see rivulets of tears streaming down her cheeks. "I owe him my life, Anna."

"Your life?" Anna puzzled. "But he tried to take it."

Elsa shook her head. "Not at first. When the chandelier came crashing down on me and I fell unconscious, he saved me from being executed right there. Not from the Duke of Weselton's men but from the hands of our own Arendellian guards."

"Our own men tried to... No!" Anna exclaimed. "I read what those Weseltonians said in the report. They said everyone else wanted you dead. But that's just a made up story. You can't believe that! They were trying to make it appear they're just victims by making it seem the others were just as ready to kill you."

"What they said was true, Anna. Our own men wanted me dead and they planned to kill me there. I can't blame them. They were that afraid of me. It was Hans that stayed their hand. He ordered me not to be harmed. I... I remembered him saying it."

Anna was confused. "Remembered? What do you mean?"

Elsa began pacing once more, wringing her hands as she did. "I've been getting flashes of memory of that night after I was knocked out by the chandelier. Not all of it, just bits and pieces but it's enough for me to put it together."

Elsa stopped and sat on the couch. Anna sat beside her and took her hands and urged her silently to go on.

"I wasn't completely conscious but I remember voices surrounding me. They were arguing, I couldn't understand much of it and I felt such pain at the back of my right thigh. I heard someone say they should kill me before I woke up. Another was saying they should leave me to bleed to death. There were mutters of 'witch' and 'evil' over and over again. I can't recognize them individually but I can tell from their accents. They couldn't be the Weseltonians. They were our men."

Anna clutched tighter at Elsa's hands, unsure if she was giving her sister support or was needing support herself. Elsa squeezed her hands back and continued her tale.

"I saw a flash… the gleam of a sword near my face but it was gone, replaced by shadow. Then there was a voice... stronger than the others. He said 'No harm comes to Queen! We're taking her back.' The next thing I remembered I was screaming from the pain on my thigh. Someone poured something on it that stung and that same voice told me I would be alright and that he was sorry for the pain but he was just cleaning my wound. I realized later that a shard from the chandelier had struck my upper thigh and lodged itself under my skin. I found the bandage after I thawed the kingdom. The wound underneath wasn't very deep, but it could have been fatal if it wasn't cleaned properly. That same man who treated me gave me something bitter to drink that made me drowsy but it lessened the pain. Before I passed out completely, I remembered being carried down my castle steps towards a horse. He was concerned that I might have bumped my head too hard when I fell. He said to me: 'Don't die on me. Please don't die. I need you to end this winter... people's lives depend on it…'"

Anna was silent for a moment as she took this in. "Maybe it wasn't Hans that saved you. Maybe it was one of our men."

Elsa shook her head. "It was Hans. I saw his eyes while he was cleaning my wound and when he carried me to his horse. I remembered his green eyes from the moment you introduced him."

Of course it had to be his eyes, Anna thought. She could never forget how his green eyes flashed with madness as he moved to strike at Elsa. Funny, how she never even took on the color until that moment. Prior to that, Anna only recalled how his eyes looked dreamy but couldn't even remember the exact shade when Kristoff asked. Elsa apparently noticed. She was so much better at remembering little details.

"I can't forget those eyes," Elsa went on, as she stared past Anna's face as if in a daze. "Seeing them was almost like seeing—"

Elsa abruptly stopped and shook her head and got up from her seat again.

"Seeing what?" Anna asked.

"Nothing, it's not important," she said dismissively. "What's important is that Hans never really meant to kill me until I told him I couldn't stop the winter."

Anna still highly doubted that. Hans had full-on admitted to her that he planned on killing Elsa. She didn't exactly trust her sister's then addled brain to remember Hans' words correctly.

"Elsa, if he said that—and I place emphasis on the "if" here because that could be just the alcohol or whatever it is he poured down your throat, confusing your memories—it just means he doesn't want you to die because he needs you to stop the winter. Why would he want the problem of ruling a kingdom that's buried in snow when he can get you to thaw things for him? If you had given him back Arendelle in normal summer while he was still in charge of things, he would have killed you and taken over permanently."

"Perhaps," Elsa said sullenly. "Whatever his intentions may be, he still saved my life and probably the lives of others here in Arendelle. If he hadn't brought me back when he did, I would probably be dead and half of Arendelle would be too. It's only fitting I saved his life. And I will." Elsa spoke the last three words with such finality that Anna realized Elsa had made her decision on this even before they spoke.

"I'm not writing him a statement of forgiveness because I don't," Anna said firmly.

"I understand Anna, and I'm not going to ask you to. I'll write it. I was the one he tried to kill directly. My statement will be sufficient to save his life."

"Fine," Anna said as she crossed her arms in frustration. It stung that Elsa had already decided this without her permission. Well, she was the queen, she didn't exactly need Anna's permission on this matter and there was nothing she could do about it. "I just hope this doesn't come back to bite us in the future."

Elsa said nothing and Anna decided to just leave her for the moment. She walked out of the room, her heart still racing with anger. He never said that, I'm sure of it. He's the real monster. Elsa just imagined all of that and nothing's going to make me think otherwise.