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Chapter 21 - Epilogue

Desperate pants filled the silent rustling of the trees. No birds, no wind could be heard. Shizuo could just hear his own blood rushing in his ears, his pulse hitting on the surface of his skin. His whole body vibrated under the tremor. He could swear his legs had been in agonizing pain just a second ago, on the edge of breaking into two, of tearing his muscles to shreds. But not anymore. They felt numb to him now.

He walked up the pathway to the forest. Not too slow since he didn't want to lose time, but not too fast either. His eyes trailed along the dark shadows between the trees cautious for anything that screamed attention.

He hated it. This fucking blood pulsating loudly in his ears, a loud and shrill noise hammering against his skull. How was he supposed to listen to his surroundings when his body kept doing this shit to him?

He thought he should have gotten angry by now because he felt like tearing all trees out of the earth. But then again, his body was too exhausted. So, this was it. This was the limit of the monster of Ikebukuro. Just running a couple miles at high speed and his body wouldn't listen anymore. Pathetic. Fucking pathetic.

The blonde tried to keep his concentration up but he felt more and more frustrated with the time ticking. How long had he been looking around already? Seconds, minutes, hours? He just couldn't tell.

Suddenly something hit his already sensitive nerves. It wasn't the fact that all of a sudden all birds decided to leave the safety of their tree crowns at once. The ex-bartender didn't even notice. If he had, it would have probably puzzled him. Birds leaving tree crowns before the storm, before the explosion of a bomb, before the dawn of apocalypse.

However, he couldn't care less. No, it was a certain smell that filled his nostrils. A smell known to him like nothing else. He had chased it for years within the streets of his hometown. Every time it caught him in a moment of carelessness, it had set his cells in alarm mode, his eyes trailing around the lines of streets, the crowds of people and the dark corners of small alleys. Later he had gotten high on it. Inhaling it like it was his elixir of life. He tried to make it stick to his skin, to become one with it when he had pressed his face into the smaller man's shoulder in the heat of the moment. Biting, licking his sweat, inhaling the addictive scent till his breath hitched. Just to become one with it.

Izaya.

Izaya.

Could he ever forget this smell? Even if he lost his eyes and his hearing, the blonde would always find his raven by it.

His eyes followed the turn of the leaves showing him where the wind was blowing from.

Without hesitation he left the pathway and crossed the line into the forest, his feet losing their sound once he stepped on the grass.

It didn't take long for him to feel his senses coming back. The pulsating pressure on his ears left and Shizuo could even hear the crumbling leafs under his feet. He startled once he heard a voice in the distance. At first he wasn't sure, it weren't exactly words that he could make out but it sounded a lot like pants or rather crying that was carried with the wind to his position.

Shizuo started to run again trying to get closer to the sound's origin. His shirt got caught a couple times by the branches all around him. Small wounds were left and he could see the red stains of blood being attached to his shirt.

He started to cover his face with his arms when the branches became thicker, almost impossible to pass through. But he could hear the crying and some words clearly now.

Shizuo took the risk of tearing his shirt to shreds and jumped straight through a thick bush, making him feel like he just escaped a jungle.

Once on the other side, he lowered his arms.

His eyes widened in pure shock on the scene in front of him.

Wooden plates, probably the remains of a house, were covering the ground. It looked like a bomb had just exploded inside and hurled its contents all around the area.

He could see Izaya with the back to him. But before he could call out to him his voice died. Not too far away from the raven, a bit more to the front, was a body lying covered in blood. Shizuo had seen a lot of blood in his life, but this corpse was taking a whole new dimension. On scanning the corpse further, he noticed that its head was missing. Shizuo suppressed the urge to vomit and looked to the side, just to discover another body.

Two to be honest.

And what he saw made his blood run cold.

Mairu.

Kururi.

Their bodies were barely recognizable since a few limbs were missing here and there, probably having been detached by the explosion, or whatever shit had happened here before Shizuo arrived. Fuck, at least their heads were there, so he was able to tell.

That was it. Shizuo couldn't hold back anymore. He turned to the other side to vomit on the ground, the acid of his stomach burning his throat and nostrils, his own sounds of gagging louder than he would have expected.

Just when he raised his head again to turn back to the raven he saw another corpse of a man.

And then looking past Izaya he saw another one right in front of him.

No wait! That guy was still alive! Shizuo saw the man moving weakly on his hands, whispering some words he couldn't make out at first. Tears were streaming down his face and the pure horror was written all over it. Shizuo had never seen this look on a person's face. Yes, of course he had seen guys gone mad and attacking him though they obviously knew that he was stronger. Or guys running away for their lives once they noticed what a monster he was. But this was different.

This man was fighting for his life with his last strength. With his last will.

He was trying to crawl away from the raven with all his might, already lying on the dirt.

Yes, Shizuo knew the difference. People fighting him were normally afraid of the pain that awaited them. But they probably knew that Shizuo wouldn't kill them. He had never killed anyone after all.

But this man feared death. And he knew it was coming for him. Still he tried to somehow prevent the inevitable. His nails were digging into the dirt pulling his whole body forward. Shizuo could see the nails breaking from the force, blood gushing out between the remains on his fingers. His eyes trailed over the miserable figure and he saw the trail of blood following the man's body. Just then, the blonde noticed that one of his legs was in fact missing.

"No! Please! Leave me alone!"

For a second, it felt like the man was talking to Shizuo. After all, he had heard the words of despair more than once. Monster. Monster. Stay away from me! Don't hurt me, please! They had said it over and over again since he was a kid.

Shizuo almost wanted to answer the man to not be scared, that he wouldn't kill him. Just then he figured, that the man hadn't even noticed him. No, his eyes were piercing right through the raven who was slowly coming closer towards the man.

It was weird. Izaya was walking so slowly, as if he wasn't in a hurry at all, as if he wasn't hurt at all. Shizuo still hadn't seen his face but wasn't it weird that Izaya was the only once unharmed? Wait, was he actually unharmed?! Fuck, Shizuo hadn't seen his front yet! What if his face was torn or his stomach was cut open? What if he walked so slowly because he actually was hurt?!

He was a second away from calling out to him, when the raven kneeled down to grab the man in front of him. His thin fingers wrapped around the guy's neck and raised him up. The man started to panic, kicking out to the raven, punching his face, whatever he managed to get hold on. However, Izaya didn't wince. It was like he didn't notice the punches and kicks at all.

His hands tightened around the frail neck and carried the man upwards until they were face to face. The poor guys' eyes widened in pure horror and Shizuo gulped by the thought of what he was seeing in the raven's eyes to make him show that expression. The guy was apparently bigger than Izaya but right now Shizuo had the feeling that the raven would even manage to lift the guy off the ground. It strongly made him wonder where Izaya got the strength from or if he had always possessed it?

What followed wouldn't leave Shizuo for the rest of his life. The sickening sound that reached his ears would embed itself into his brain and reach him in his dreams to wake him up in terror, sometimes he would hear it on the street just to turn around and see nothing changed. Way more haunting was the image of the person he loved, the frail and delicate man that he once held in his arms at night, snapping a grown man's spine like it was a matchstick and turning his head in ways only a door know could do.

Was that what people normally expected from him, the monster of Ikebukuro? That he would one day grab a man and pull him to pieces like a doll, like he wasn't even a human being anymore.

"Izaya …" he whispered, his voice sounding nothing like he heard before. It took him a second to feel the tears that appeared in his eyes.

The raven let go of the guy's body. In the corner of his eyes Shizuo noticed it hitting the ground but his concentration was all on Izaya now. He watched the back of the raven's head, while this one slowly turned around, his feet dragging over the ground as if they were heavy and he needed the most energy to just turn his body.

Fully turned his eyes settled on the blonde in front of him, some long antagonizing seconds in which they just looked into each others' eyes.

Shizuo froze.

He wished he was dreaming but the longer they were staring at each other the more he understood the horrible reality.

Izaya's eyes were red as blood. The same red that Shizuo had seen before in these eyes.

It weren't Izaya's eyes anymore but the demon that had been a part of him for so long.

Shizuo was too late.

"Izaya …" he started trying to form some words. But the raven was fast. Izaya had always been deft and fast at running but this was a new level. Shizuo almost didn't notice the raven jumping at him in high speed. Just barely, he managed to dodge the attack. The blonde had never been scared for his own safety before. If he was honest with himself, his lack in immediate fear probably resulted in the fact that he was way too angry during most of his fights to even notice that he should be afraid. But right now he wasn't angry. He was scared. Mostly for Izaya's safety but also for his own. He was sad. Sad about Mairu and Kururi, about the pain that Izaya had to endure and the fact that the demon shamelessly used the situation to get Izaya's body.

But Shizuo didn't have time to be afraid for himself. He didn't have the time to be angry at the demon. He needed to concentrate. He had to save Izaya.
The Informant was the most important thing right now and he had to do something without hurting his precious body.

When the demon attacked again trying to get a hold of Shizuo, the blonde swiftly jumped towards the raven and grabbed his arms. He put all his power into the attack and tried to bring the raven down to the ground, so he could cover him with his body.

But Shizuo highly miscalculated the power that the demon was giving to Izaya's body. It felt like he was fighting a fucking transformer. Simon couldn't even compare. In his desperation he silently wished that Simon was there to help him. Together they might have been able to do something. But Shizuo was alone and was probably facing the hardest challenge of his whole life right now.

The demon pushed his sharp finger nails into Shizuo's skin and drew blood. The blonde hissed at the pain but he didn't let go of the raven's arms. Instead he tried to use the strength of his legs to push stronger against his opponent. Even though he was strong, the demon lost his balance for a second and Shizuo used his chance to topple him over and pin him to the ground.

He was sitting on the raven's belly, the legs behind him pushing violently but Shizuo ignored the painful kicks to his side and back.

"Izaya! Listen to me!" He tried again but instead of a coherent answer he got a deep toned laugh that made his blood freeze.

"Your little fuckboy is not here anymore, Casanova~" Shizuo had to pull himself together. This wasn't Izaya anymore, not his eyes , not his voice, but his body that Shizuo had to protect under all circumstances. If something happened to this body, Izaya was done for too and Shizuo couldn't let that happen.

"Give him back!" He growled lowly but the demon's grin just widened at it.

"So you can pummel his asshole again?~ You know, the body is the same and I'll give it to you as much as you like" The demon tried act seductively by winking at Shizuo but the blonde had to suppress the urge to punch the motherfucker in the face. How could he say that about Izaya? About his beautiful body? What would he do with Izaya's body if he let that bastard just leave with it? This disgusting piece of …

Shizuo's eyes widened at the realization. The demon was trying to make him angry. He didn't really understand why, maybe it was to distract Shizuo or to actually make him hurt Izaya. But Shizuo couldn't fall for it no matter what. He didn't have any experience with demons but rumors said that they were wicked and evil. Could this guy also read his thoughts? Did he know what the blonde was going to do before he knew it himself? Shizuo shuddered a little at the thought.

"That's not how I feel about him! Give him back!"

"Are you sure? Your relationship hasn't exactly been peachy~ I bet somewhere in your fucked up mind you love to dominate him, to make him scream your name in pleasure, having him at your utter mercy …"

But Shizuo wouldn't have this demon's manipulative game and didn't listen.

"Izaya! Fight against him! I know you can do it! You are strong! And you are not alone, Izaya! I'm here for you! I love you, Izaya!"

The demon's eyes turned into slits. His wicked grin disappeared and the crimson in his eyes started glowing like a warning signal at night. Shizuo didn't know what caused the sudden change in his behavior. Maybe Izaya had started fighting against him from the inside and the demon decided he had to stop Shizuo?

In the end it didn't matter. Shizuo had come quite close with his face towards the demon. He had done it unintentionally, just a natural reaction in the heat of the moment. But the raven noticed and used his chance. He shot forward and buried his fangs in Shizuo's neck where they pulled at the delicate skin.

Shizuo screamed in pain. This wasn't like a vampire movie where they only had to endure two little teeth. Rather Izaya's whole set of teeth had turned a little sharper than normal humans and each of them tried to tear out the part of his neck.

Shit! Shizuo couldn't do anything about it without his hands! He endured the pain for a few painful seconds but once he had the impression that the demon might actually tear out his flesh, he used his arms to grab the raven's head and push him away from him.

Grinning wickedly, the raven used his free arms to push Shizuo with all their power. The blonde was thrown backwards and fell flat to the ground. His head hit the hard surface he was lying on.

He blinked in confusion, his head spinning and his eyes unable to make out his surroundings.

Once he retained his sight back, it was already too late.

He saw the reflection of the sun on a cool metallic surface. The blending light catching his attention just above his head before it came flying down towards him.

And his brain just couldn't quite keep up with what his eyes were seeing.

But then he finally understood.

I'm sorry, Izaya.

The shaft of a knife was sticking out of his chest, the blade buried deep inside his body right where his heart was supposed to be.

His eyes were stuck to the place and even when the demon pulled the knife out, his eyes just followed to red fountain of blood that gushed out his wound.

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.

Tears were forming in the corner of his eyes, slowly making their way down his cheeks.

The last thing he saw was a malicious grin with blood stained teeth and dark eyes craving for more pain to satisfy their desire.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

Then everything went black and numb.

Author notes:

I'm happy that I finally finished this story. I know I made you wait an eternity and I'm really sorry for that but rl kicked my butt and I just had to concentrate on other things. Later I lost my total motivation on Shizaya in general, so I just couldn't write anymore. Anyway, I got my interest back recently and finally finished this.

I made up my mind and I will never publish a story again that isn't finished already. It just felt horrible to disappoint so many people. So I would rather not have that again. That's also the reason why I just deleted "Blinded", my other story, the plot for that was HUGE and I last updated it in 2015 LIKE WHAT HOW THE FUCK AM I THAT OLD?! Anyway, if I keep my interest in writing I will finish it on my own and then post it. But no other way.

I am also way more active on tumblr by now. I have a blog under the same name that is Shizaya centered. So if you are interested, just take a look around. Sometimes I do post one-shots there. Of course, I'm also answering PMs here since I'm not out of the world but it's just nicer to being able to actually answer to a comment and not just read it and then that's it.

To the end: This is in fact the ending that I had planned from the very start. I wanted a bad ending that can also be considered a bit open. When I was stil high-heels for this story I sometimes considered the option of doing a sequel where Shizuo maybe survived miraculously and has to search for Izaya or Izaya actually killed his beloved and has to deal with the aftermath of it. Well, well ... not gonna happen. This is the ending of this story as sad as it might appear. I have to admit one of the reasons that I do not consider a sequel anymore (next to my lack of motivation) is that I started this story with my piss poor english during what? Middle School? I can't even remember ... Anyway, I'm of the opinion that I would have to re-write this whole story just to write a sequel that I can be proud of by my current expectations.

And at last, I want to thank everyone who took his time to read, like and comment on this story, even if it was a critique or I don't know what. Constructive cristicism is always appreciated. I can't believe that there were some people who stick with the story from end to beginning. You are amazing! And if you are still in the fandom I would love to interact with you a little on tumblr :)

Goodbye~