Build-A-Bear came out with a line of Avengers-themed bears. The company went all out and excluded no one. Ironman bear and Captain America bear were, unsurprisingly, tied for the most popular, but Winter Soldier bear, Hawkeye bear, and Black Widow bear were rising in the polls.

Steve would've happily ignored it like he did every piece of merchandise with his name on it. Would've, if not for Darcy.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" she'd shouted after tackle hugging him to the ground and shoving a fully accessorized brown bear in his face.

It even had a mini shield made of felt. The star was too big, but otherwise an uncanny resemblance.

Being the good boyfriend he was, Steve accepted his gift with every indication of loving it the way it deserved to be loved. He was still much more enthusiastic when she then proceeded to stick her tongue in his mouth. It was, overall, a fantastic holiday and he hated to see it come to an end.

Alas, it was now February 16th. Darcy had returned to her apartment following two straight nights of hot and sweaty lovemaking. Now he was alone with the aptly named Captain Ameribear. It was in bed with him only because he was too lazy to put it on the nightstand. Or just shove it to the floor.

"I got him special," Darcy had said while forcing him to hold it. He hadn't actually had a stuffed animal since he was six. "He even has a voice recorder. There may be a little surprise for you on it."

"That's nice," Steve had answered, lacing both the desire and the capacity to question her. They'd just had sex and she was still naked; her breasts in his face made his mouth water.

Steve stared at the bears' cold, black eyes. He could just about see his reflection in them. It frowned at him, ever-disapproving. Since there were few people whose approval Steve cared about (the list had fewer names than he had fingers) he rolled over and went to sleep with no trouble.

He awoke to screaming.

Throwing himself out of bed, he dragged his shield and a gun out of the closet. He broke the door down getting it open and shouted into Bucky's room.

"We're under attack!"

Bucky was out of bed with five guns and two knives before Steve finished the word 'attack'.

"What's going on? Where are they?"

Steve shushed him. "In my room."

He gestured at the gaping doorway with his head. No verbal communication was required for them to know what they had to do. The plan was already formed and in place, just like always. Call it super soldier telepathy or just years of shared life experience. They skulked into the room like the shadows of Death, weapons at the ready as they stared down…

Nothing.

There was nothing and no one in the room. Just Captain Ameribear, slightly squished on Steve's side of the bed.

He glanced at Bucky, then slowly approached the bear. Nudging it with his gun, the same hellish shriek emitted from the plushy toy. Steve leaped back as Bucky fired a shot in surprise.

"What the fuck is that?"

"I have no idea," Steve picked up the bear by its leg, careful to touch no other part of it. It didn't scream again but he wasn't taking chances. "Darcy gave it to me."

"Oh, of course, she did," Bucky grumbled and went back to bed, dropping his knives on the end table.

Steve could deal with him later. For now, he grabbed his phone and pressed one, waiting for his dear, darling girlfriend to pick up.

"You have reached the phone of Darcy Lewis," she said groggily. "I am not available right now as it is literally two in the morning. If you'd like to engage me in dirty sex, please call back at a more appropriate-"

"Darcy, what the fucking hell is wrong with this bear?"

A pause on the other end, then snickering. "Holy shit, I have never heard you say things like that. It's kind of hot."

"Darcy."

"Okay, okay, not the time. I get it."

"What is this?"

"Velociraptor." He heard he get out of bed and walk into the kitchen. Hopefully, Jane was already in bed or else working late. "Or at least a rough approximation of what a velociraptor might've sounded like. Hey, did you know dinosaurs might've actually had feathers? Isn't that so weird? And then people think they aren't scary anymore."

"Darcy, why did you put that sound in the bear?"

"As a message."

"What kind of message?"

"That I love you."

"What?" Steve rubbed the back of his head. "How does- you know what? Fine. I'm not going to question it. This is clearly just a 'you' thing."

Darcy squealed. "See? This is why I fell for you. You totally get me like no one else ever has."

"Uh-huh." Steve laid back down and shut off the lights. "Why don't you come by tomorrow and we'll talk about it over breakfast?"

"Sounds good. Night, big boy."

"Night Darce."

She was there the next morning at nine on the dot. She had fresh clothes and a box of frozen waffles, her usual offering. Steve was not in the kitchen, nor the living room. He wasn't anywhere Darcy could see at all.

"Steve?" She checked his oddly doorless bedroom. No dice. "You there? I brought waffles?"

She felt the shadow crawl over her, but had no time to react before a wretched howl filled her ears. It knocked her off her feet. Steve stood over her, a great big asshole of a giant (or maybe giant of an asshole), hugging Captain Ameribear to his chest. "You were right. He is pretty special."

Steve did not get any waffles that morning.

But once Darcy finished pouting, he got something better that night.