Chapter 7: Sparklez in Your Cold Dead Eyes.
"Everybody, please take a seat." the Captain instructs.
"Who died and made him boss..." Lizzie grumbles, she was still miserable from Jesse's sexual harassment and her fight with Dan.
"TorqueDawg did, boo yah!" Petra's an asshole, she takes the seat next to Lizzie.
"Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Lizzie groans, because now she's stuck between Petra and Dan, and that's just great.
Jesse finds an empty seat just sitting there between Dan and Stampy.
"Oh fuck yes." Jesse grins, setting herself down and putting her arms around the sexy men.
"Gaaahhh!" Dan and Stampy both react in surprise, like twins.
"Relax, you guys!" Jesse giggles "it's just little ol' meee...!"
She grabs their cocks through their pants.
"EEEEEE!" Stampy screams like a girl, Dan grinds his teeth and his eyes shoot wide with surprise.
"Haha!" Jesse laughs, releasing them, "oh, you two are so much fun...!"
Stampy hyperventilates, on the verge of a heart attack. Immediately it falls on Stacy to try to counteract this RANDOM NEEDLESS TRAUMA.
"Oh shit, someone just grabbed yo' man by the balls." Petra points out to Lizzie "damn, I think he liked it."
"He's NOT my man!" Lizzie finally snaps at Petra "I'm single! AND HAPPY!"
"Ladies, ladies, calm down!" Captain Sparklez has been confused by all this, but now he's breaking it up "let's not let this get out of hand!"
"Too late." Jesse grins, holding up her empty hands "let 'em loose."
"That's enough 'playing around', Jesse." Ivor interjects, turning to the Captain "please, continue with what you were saying, Mr. Sparklez, you have our attention."
"Oh..." the Captain frowns at being referred to as Mr. Sparklez, but gets over it "thank you-... ummm..."
"IVOR." Ivor snaps.
"Ah, yes! that." Captain Sparklez nods, then addresses everybody "I've been thinking about our situation very deeply, and I've come to a conclusion as to who the killer is."
"Hmm!?" everybody's immediately interested.
"WHO!?" Stampy demands.
"Tell us!" Dan follows up.
"Is it Lukas!?" Cassie throws out.
"ME!?" Lukas reacts "I'VE NEVER HURT A FLY!"
"It was not Lukas..." Ivor states flatly, unimpressed and quite bored.
"Spit it out, Sparklez!" Lizzie pushes.
"Do tell!" Stacy nods.
"Well...!" the Captain starts, standing up in his chair "the killer is, without a doubt in my mind...!"
"L-L-L-Lu-!" Cassie pushes.
Stacy stares at Captain Sparklez intently, beggin' to hear 'J-J-J-Jesse'.
"Absolutely, with no chance of false accusation...!" Cap. continues.
D-D-D-Da-! Stampy prays.
"It must, when you add all the evidence up, be only...!" Cap. draws it out.
"G-G-G-Get to the point!" Ivor growls.
"COME ONNN!" Cassie screams "it HAS to be FUCKING LUKAS-!"
"S-S-S-Somebody! who is NOT HERE, tonight!" Captain Sparklez finishes.
Awkward silence, people blink and shit.
"You see...!" Cap. starts "I don't believe any of us are capable of being the killer, we're all such good, decent human beings. And TorqueDawg was killed by a trap, not a person. Therefore, I conclude that whoever it is who wants us dead is in fact absent from this mansion at this time. They probably WANT us to fight amongst each other, to point fingers and destroy ourselves. But if we don't play that game, then the only thing we need to worry about is the traps, which we can all easily survive, if we, just, work, togeth-*FLIP*-AHHHHHH!" his chair suddenly throws him back.
Whoosh! a trapdoor opens, and with a look of terror on his face, the brave Captain falls into it's dark depths.
"CAPTAIN SPARKLEZ!?" Stampy, Dan, Stacy, Lizzie, Cassie react.
"Oh-no..." Ivor says emotionlessly "a pit, how horrible."
PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH-PHWOOSH! sixteen sand blocks drop from the ceiling and fill up the pit.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" everybody who isn't in Jesse's gang screams in horror.
"CAPTAIN SPARKLEZ!" Lizzie shouts after him.
"I'M COMING, CAPTAIN!" Dan tries to play the hero, leaping from his seat, dashing over, and digging his fist into one of the top sand blocks.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Stampy and Cassie sit on their asses, screaming and doing nothing.
"Hang on!" Stacy calls, as if the Captain could hear her, as she bolts from her seat and takes a place beside Dan, both of them working together to dig into the sand.
"Oh dear..." Ivor frowns "I was... not, expecting that to happen."
"Not bad..." Lukas asses the trap "but what makes it tick...?"
"Probably some nerd stuff." Petra shrugs it off "stupid nerds."
Jesse, meanwhile, doesn't partake in the chatter. She's too busy formulating her new master plan!
"Oh... my god." Jesse can barely contain her excitement "could this BE any more perfect!? oh yes, that's good, that's verrry good...!"
Poof! Stacy and Dan finally reach the bottom, the two of them now in the hole because that was fucking smart.
"What do you see!?" Cassie calls, trying to reach around for the button under the table.
"It's no good!" Stacy calls, her voice only slightly betraying her grief "he's dead!"
"IT'S HORRIBLE!" Dan cries.
"Oh-no...!" Cassie gasps, more and more impatiently feeling further down the table.
"The fuck are you doing?" Ivor asks her.
"EEK!"-BAM!-"OW!" Cassie bangs her arm against the table as she tries to pull it back in surprise, she then turns to Ivor "I...! uh...! I had a thought!"
"Oh, I see the problem then." Ivor roasts.
"What's your thought?" Lukas inquires.
"I thought, well, maybe the killer pressed a button under the table to activate the trap!" Cassie explains "I didn't say anything right away because I wanted all of you to stay put."
Ivor and Lukas narrow their eyes.
*Gulp*...! Cassie knows that she's done been caught.
Author's Note: HELLOOOOOO, Female Jesse Fans! as you may have noticed, we've created a cover for the story! it features our foxy villainess Jesse, sitting with her famous stripping string, and winking towards you, her future victims, please enjoy!