R&R

It told me to follow these scars

Before I'd be crushed by the weight of the world

Can you remember it? The sky of tears...

That pain has given you protection

Because this pain will always protect you

Flow "Signs"

Wednesday February 8, 2012

Gotham City, NJ

GCPD

9:52 p.m

With the following days of her discovery Eliana knew she was going to go through a long process. It was two weeks of investigations. Two weeks of pure tests, questioning, recovery. First it was tests, medical test. X-rays, check ups, blood tests and everything else in between. According to her bone structure she was about 11 or 12 years old and apparently she still hasn't hit puberty because her "hips haven't grown yet" whatever that meant. Plus Jim and the Doctor looked relieved when she showed him a clipboard about her X-rays, so she guessed she was okay.

On the outside though she had scars, so many scars. Not just little scars you get when you fall and trip she had long scars. The kind that were going to be there forever. Then it was physical recovery. Walking, Running, Eating, Exercising. She managed to learn that she was pretty flexible, she could do a number of flips of course she nearly gave her trainer a heart attack when she attempted to do these things.

The Commissioner or "Jim" as he let her call him really wanted her to get back to physical normal. The truth was she was okay, physically and internally. She ate well, she ran well, she could function like a normal ….whatever age she was. They even had her do an assessment to see what grade level she could work, turns out she averaged around a 6th grader pegging her about 11 or 12 years old. The point was she functioned like a normal kid. The thing was, she just couldn't sleep.

Eventually she would sleep at night, slip into the dark but she would often just lay there. Trying to figure out anything from her past but she would just end up thinking about the night Robin found her. She would have strokes of nervousness over thinking about it, painful nervousness. She didn't tell anyone though. This week she was starting another therapy, the kind where you talk it out apparently is "good for you". Other days she cried a lot. Wondering why, why me? What did I do? Other days she accepted that she might be a cold killer. Accept it now Eliana and it'll be easier when it's discovered you actually did it. Other days she was confident that the GCPD was going to find any information on her, a mother, a father, a sibling, a last name.

She didn't know about any plans after this process was over. Orphanage maybe. School too then. She sat in the questioning room that was silently driving her insane. Looking at that stupid one way glass again, her reflection staring back, she saw a tanned girl with loose curls and green eyes ringed with blue.

"Ugh" her head fell onto the table and sighed.

"Getting tired of the questions aren't you Eli" Jim asked her files in his hands.

"Yes" she sighed "I've given all the information I know and what I know is nothing. There's only me and that's not enough"

"I know I know but we're almost done" he assured her.

"Finally" she sighed "But what happens to me when we're done, I don't have any family"

"Well we don't know that for sure" Jim reasoned

"Por favor, it's been like two and a half weeks and the only thing we've learned is my name and I speak Spanish. Let's face it, I'm going to an orphanage". She began intermixing both languages into her speech the more she spoke, it was probably something she used to be before.

"My guys are still looking into it and outside resources as well" Jim smiled " Come on Eli don't give up yet"

She lifted her head "Can you tell me if I did it then? Is there anything ...saying I didn't do it? Or that I did?" She began to tear up "because I don't know if you know this but I can't sleep at night not knowing if I did or didn't kill that man"

He took out some files "According to the test results and the examinations it's 100% proven, that you did not kill that man". She let out a ragged breath.

"Okay …...what about the blood on my own hands?" she began playing with her own hands. It had became a habit since that night.

"It wasn't his"

"Well then who's was it?"

"According the tests…. apparently it's yours" he said

"Mine?" she questioned "...I can live with that" she semi-smiled

" That doesn't make sense though. When Robin found you, you didn't have any wounds that would have been big enough to have your hands covered in blood"

"I mean, I've got a lot of scars look" she rolled her left sleeve up revealing a cut from her elbow to her wrist "That's a pretty wicked scar, kinda glad I don't remember that pain" She looked at the scar solemnly, that thing is always going to be there.

"That wound was healed when you were found, 'fraid that's not it El" he locked his fingers together.

She raised her right leg to the table with ease and rolled her pants up "Well how about this one?" she revealed another scar that went from her knee to her ankle"Or how about the one on my back, hey you know I have one on the back of my thigh too? I've got these scars on my body and I don't know how they got there, but they're there and they're going to be there till forever. Siempre. So trust and believe I'm actually glad that blood on my hands was mine".

"I know your putting on the bravest face you can, and I know you feel like your being crushed by the weight of the world. You've been through so much and you don't even know what-"

"I have the scars to tell me that"

"The point is, you're being incredibly strong in an impossible situation. You know you remind me of a boy I once knew-"

"Jeez am I that ugly?" she rolled her eyes

"Not what I meant. He was in an impossible situation when he was young, lots his parents in front of him with no idea who did it. He was a bit younger than you and he went through so much and you know what happened?" he whispered and leaned forward

"He ….got revenge? I don't know" she shrugged her shoulders

"He overcame it" he told her

Eliana looked down at her hands and balled them into fists "So where is this boy now and where can I find him to teach me his ways" she chuckled.

"Well I wouldn't call him a "boy" anymore per say, he's grown into a man now. He has family and he's one of the most successful people in the city ...and the country" it was clear to Eliana he sounded like he spoke with a certain proudness in his voice.

"Wow, he got married, had a family and became successful. I want to level up in life like that" she stated.

"I never said he got married" he smiled

"But you said he had a family" she raised an eyebrow

"You don't need to be married to have a family"

"...Do you have a wife?" she questioned

"I had one but now it's just me and my daughter Barbara, I've told you about her". Eliana had spent the last 2 and a half weeks sleeping in Barbara's bed, she had seen pictures of her and Jim.

"So …..where is she? I would very much like to meet her" she smiled

"She's actually coming to visit me after coming back from a trip in California, should should be here any minute" he looked at his watch

She put her hands against her cheeks " I can't wait to meet her. It's really nice of her to let me sleep in her bed while she was gone"

"I told her all about you, and she can't wait to meet you" he assured her

"'All ...about me'" she said to herself "Right" she nodded. Her stomach then began feeling weird, a mix of guilt and sickness. This wasn't the first time she felt like this; it was basically a daily occurrence. She could be having a normal conversation with Jim, she could be smiling or eating and thoughts would then plague her; take over. She drew in a deep breath, breathed it out. Repeat 5 times.

"So ...what are we still doing here?" she looked around at the room. Same chairs, same lights, same table, same stupid reflection. She stared at her reflection taking in her own details again and then she began to feel very uncomfortable as if she were being watched.

Jim stood up "come on" he began opening the door to walk out "time for you to meet Babs, I have business to handle"

"Bat related business?" she inquired. He stared at her while she merely shrugged her shoulders. "I mean ….I heard the way you guys spoke ….I assume you're well acquainted with ...him -them. Come on ...I'm 12 not stupid"

"Maybe...12" he reminded her. She puffed her breath at him and crossed her arms against her chest. They began walking through the department, many faces she had began to recognize and many that already knew of her. They were making their way towards Jim's office where there was a girl with messy wavy red hair that was tied up in a bun and piercing green eyes and was quite tall for a girl. She wore a green zip up hoodie and a pair of converse with blue jeans.

"Dad" she greeted him with an open hug and bright smile.

"Arggg, I missed you so much"

"I missed you too" she looked over his shoulder to Eliana, who was kept her distance and gave a small ….seemingly awkward smile. "And I've heard lots about you too kiddo" she began walking towards Eliana and instead of hugging her she bend down to eye level "So….how's my bed?" she asked humorously.

Eliana let out a small chuckle, instantly feeling a sense of ease come over her "It's comfy, thank you"

"Ahhh no worries. Mi casa es su casa"

"Gracias" she smiled

"Listen uh Babs, I'd love to stay and catch up but I gotta go talk to our esteemed guest. You mind watching over Eli here?" Jim asked

She gave an understanding nod "Of course dad, besides this gives me and Eli some time to be able to get to know each other". She sat in her fathers chain and pulled another one up, Eliana clearly understood what she meant so she went to go sit as Jim was walking out and closed the door behind him.

With just the two of them in the room, they began to talk about random things? The basic questions were first? Eliana had learned that Barbara was only 23 years old which was amazing because she looked so young…..well she is still young. Barbra spoke about her trip in California, how she had gone on a hiking trip and gotten injured.

She pulled down her sweater revealing her shoulder "Now this" she revealed her scar that looked to be fresh "This is one mean scar, definitely gonna be hard to hide that" she chuckled.

"Woa that's gonna be there a long time…...did it hurt when you got it?"

"Course it did, but I couldn't just stop. I had to keep hiking but...I made sure it wasn't you know ….deadly and now that day will always be with me. "

"I got a scar too" Eliana lifted her right leg revealing the scar that ran from her knee to her ankle. "And this one too" she rolled up her left sleeve showing the one that ran from her elbow to her wrist. "I can't say if they hurt or not since I don't remember but…...they're mine and actually to be honest they look like they hurt. I also got a few in some other places. I'm a bit jealous you got yours exploring and hiking in California. New experiences y'know "

Barbara nodded her head with her hands in her pockets "Remember Els….it doesn't matter how small ...or how large, they'll always hurt...even if they don't in moment. At one point they did."

"Yeah, I guess. I just….have nothing. I'm a blank slate until a few weeks ago. These scars won't do anything for me except ...just be there. No memories or feelings, they're basically here for no reason." she pouted her lips.

Definitely a kid Barbara thought to herself. "Listen ...it might seem that way now, but I promise you, those scars are gonna do you some good one day. Whether it be your memories returning or anything else" Barbara said, Eliana nodded her head unsure.

" Your scars…..when your memories return. The memories of those scars come with it and I guarantee you, your scars are going to protect you"

"'Protect me'?"

"Yeah, when you get a wound and the pain is so severe your body builds endurance. So the next time you get a wound it won't hurt as much. Plus, you never get an exact scar on the exact same place again. One day…. your pain will protect you"

"My pain will protect me?"

Barbara nodded "And remember It's okay to be embarrassed of your scars, but try not to feel ashamed of them. They're your signs of survival, they're apart of you and when you remember how you got them never forget that".

Thats all for now ...read and review

To be honest I wasn't planning on introducing Barbara this early but ..the way things worked out ...yeah hahah. I would love feedback.