Chapter 18 – Life and Death

They'd talked to all the potential witnesses and explained about the meeting the next day with Smithson Talbet. They'd told Lily Mae about food for everyone, and they'd eaten supper themselves, then retired for the night. She was surprised he'd surrendered to sleep so easily, but of course it couldn't last. There was too much bottled up inside, too much roiling inside him; too much damage had been done. Sometime in the night he left the bed and wandered out to the small balcony that adjoined their bedroom. He leaned over the railing and stared at the ground below, and his mind drifted back to those days in the north and all the agony and turmoil caused by the marshal. It was real to him again; he could feel the ache in his head, taste the blood and wool blanket in his mouth, feel the bile rise up in his throat and spill out over the railing. No matter this was almost twenty years later, his body and psyche felt every ache, every pain, every trauma that he felt that night.

He grabbed the balcony railing and tried to fight it off . . . told himself this couldn't be happening again, told himself it wasn' t real and that it had to go away, told himself he couldn't stand one more moment of the nightmare his life had become. He was freezing, but his body was dripping sweat, his legs shook and he held on to the iron bars for dear life. That night there was the blessed relief of unconsciousness, but there was none this night. His head continued to pound as his heart raced. He couldn't stand much more of this . . . and he stared at the ground below, knowing that if he could just fall to that blessed ground all the pain would stop, the shaking, the sweating, the horrible images that kept repeating in his head over and over and over . . .

She found him that way, leaning dangerously over the railing and staring at the ground below. "What are you doing? Come back to bed."

"I can't. There's too much pain, too much hurt inside me, to go on living. I can't stay here anymore, it hurts too much."

She poured every ounce of pain she could verbalize into her next few words. "You can't leave me. You owe me."

He stared at her, startled. She wasn't pleading with him anymore; she was demanding. "I owe you?"

"That's right, you owe me. I bore your children, I nursed you through sickness and injury, I made a home for you, I comforted you when you needed it. I loved you. You owe me."

He stood deathly still for minutes while he thought it over. She couldn't breathe until he spoke again. "I suppose you're right. I do owe you." He looked wistfully at the ground below. "So close, and so far away." He turned back to her and held out his hand. "Take my hand . . . lead me back to the living, sweet lady." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to her.

"You don't belong there, in the dark. You belong in the light, with me. It doesn't matter what happened there, it was so long ago. He tried to hurt you, to blame you for his pain, to inflict the damage on you that had been inflicted on him. You were the innocent in it all, the one that never should have been hurt. You've suffered enough, sweet boy. Come with me now, come back to everything that's ours. "Don't let the darkness touch you again." She kept hold of his hand and led him back inside, back to safety, back to life.

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They didn't speak of that dark night again. In the morning she opened her eyes to find his brown ones watching her blue ones, and from the love in those brown orbs she knew everything was alright. "Morning," she greeted him.

"Good morning. Hungry?"

"Starving. How about you?"

"Ravenous. Let's go get breakfast."

"Wonderful idea."

She got out of bed and put on a dressing gown; he donned a robe. Hand in hand they went down the stairs until they reached the kitchen, breakfast, and coffee.

"Did you all sleep good last night?" Lily asked

She didn't see the look that passed between Bart andDoralice. "Just fine, Lily, just fine. We'll be ready when everybody starts to arrive."

"Ready for what, Mr.B?"

"Why, to help in the kitchen."

Lily Mae just laughed. "I don't need any help, Mr. B. I'll do just fine."

"You have to be in there too, Lily."

"See that big pot on the stove, Mr. B?

"Yes, ma'am."

"That's lunch, already cookin'."

By eight-thirty, most everyone had arrived. Bret, Lucien, Slim, Dan, and Jimmy had all gathered in the front room. Lily Mae joined them just as Smithson got there. Once he got everyone seated, the attorney began.

"All the judge is going to do is ask you questions about what you saw or heard. If you don't remember, tell him you don't remember. Don't lie, don't elaborate. Don't give him your opinion. Don't give him more than he asks for. It's not your job to prove Bart innocent, it's simply your job to answer the questions. The facts will prove him innocent, so always answer truthfully. That's all gentlemen. And Miss Lily. Get into town as best you can. You will be paid for today."

"Bret, can I see you for a moment?" Smithson wanted to have a word with Bret separately.

"Yes, sir, what can I do for you?"

"Judge Collins may want to question you further since you saw Bart in the jail cell and afterward. Don't be surprised if he does."

"No problem. I'll never forget what he looked like when we took him out of there."

"Good man."

Bart and Doralice followed their usual routine – they walked to the barn, Bart hitched the horse to the buggy, put on his sling and handed the buggy reins to Doralice. She climbed inside, and they headed to Little Bend.

By the time they got there the judge had already questioned Slim, Dan and Jimmy. Slim and Dan had heard the marshal riding in at top speed; Jimmy had actually seen Cole racing towards the house, shotgun in his hands. Judge Collins had dismissed the three of them and was about to begin questioning Lucien.

"Tell me what you saw and heard, Lucien."

"I heard a terrible racket, and it was comin' our way," Lucien replied. It was Marshal Cole, "and he was really loud, yellin' Bart! Bart Maverick! I've got you now!' and wavin' that shotgun in the air. He rode right up to the door, jumped down off his horse, and almost knocked the door in. As soon as the front door opened, the Marshal let go with a blast from that gun."

"You're sure that Cole was the first to fire his gun?"

"No doubt about it, your honor."

"Thank you, Lucien, you're dismissed. You can return home."

"Next I'd like to talk to, Miss Lily Mae. Lily Mae, what did you see and hear?"

"Well, like I said before, I heard a racket, but that didn't rattle me. There's always a racket. Then when I heard the second shotgun go off I went runnin'. Mr. B was already on the ground and Miss Doralice was a hoverin' over him. That's all I seen."

"Did you see the shotgun on the ground?"

"Yes, sir, but I don't remember where it was."

"Alright, that's all, Miss Lily. You're dismissed."

"Mr. Bret Maverick, please."