Chapter 22: How Do Windows Help.
"...HOW DO WINDOWS HELP!?" Stampy demands.
"Fucked if I know, I just wanted to reference a moment we had earlier today long before we met you." Jesse shrugs "we have the door, and nothin'."
"I'll try to recover quickly." Lukas promises, "ugh!" he finally pulls out of Stacy.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, gross, gross, gross, gross...! Stacy cringes, starting to get up.
"I'm coming!" Stampy calls, running over and helping his girlfriend.
"Heh, so did Lukas." Petra's an asshole.
"..." Stampy stares for a second, but then decides to ignore her, because he has better things to do.
As Lukas lays down to take a fucking nap, Stampy leads Stacy limping and staggering away, until the two of them can speak privately without ASSHOLES like Dan or Petra ruining their moment, they sit down all cozy together.
"A-are you okay, Stacy?" Stampy asks nervously, "you're... not walking very well..."
"I..." Stacy breathes in "I'll be okay... I'm just... hurting a little..."
"But..." Stampy's eyes narrow, "the... deal...!"
"It only really hurt during the last couple big thrusts, and then there was no need to tell him to stop because the bastard was already finished." Stacy grumbles "I'm alright though, I'm mostly just sore, and... my legs feel numb, almost asleep..." her speech is slightly slurred "I feel heavy-headed as well, I think all my blood rushed to the top of my body because of the way I was laying, I'm getting better though..." she finishes by drowsily shaking her head.
"D-do you need water?" Stampy offers.
"Yes please." Stacy nods "that sounds nice..."
"I'll go get some, I'll be right back, okay?" Stampy stands up.
"Alright." Stacy approves.
Stampy walks over to his clothes and starts going through his inventory to get a bottle of water, he selects one and turns around to see...
"Hey, how ya' do'in?" Dan asks Stacy, "what was it like?" he doesn't wait for an answer "any advice before it's, ugh, my turn?"
"Get out of here, Dan!" Stampy storms back, "she doesn't wanna fucking talk to you about it right now!"
"Whoa! hey, dude, I'm asking nicely!" Dan defends, "we're all in this together, right? you guys are my fellow sexslave-fucktoys." he then turns to Stacy "I was just wondering if you could help me get through my turn easier."
"What's in it for her, Dan!?" Stampy hisses, "we don't just do things for free around here, remember?"
"You did, didn't you?" Dan snarks.
"But I shouldn't have because all it got me was YOU JERKING OFF TO MY GIRLFRIEND BEING RAPED BY LUKAS IN THE ASS!" Stampy retorts.
Stacy's jaw drops in shock, 'cause she had missed that entire ordeal.
"Rape!? she consented!" Dan snarls "AND I told you already that I was IMAGINING Lizzie!"
"Not after you asked me your questions you weren't!" Stampy points out, "you seemed pretty damn acknowledgeable at that point that it was Lukas and not you!"
"Well, I wasn't!" Dan argues "I was imagining Lizzie and myself the whole time! it's not my fault that you just couldn't get over the fact that it was YOUR girl getting fucked in front of you and not mine!"
"You yelled, HIS NAME!" Stampy's not taking that shit.
"Uh, yeah!" Dan nods "because I was telling you to enjoy the show! that wasn't part of my fantasy."
"Do you even hear yourself!?" Stampy can't believe it, "thanks so much for wishing me happy time while I'm watching THAT!"
"I...! I thought you liked it!" Dan claims "when I came to talk to you, you got all pissy with me for taking your attention away from them!"
"I wasn't mad that you were taking my attention away from it, I was mad that you were freaking re-enforcing it by talking about it while I was watching it happen!" Stampy barks.
"BY APOLOGIZING!" Dan screams "to COMFORT YOU!"
"Oh, that was your plan!?" Stampy mocks, "apologize and comfort me first, and then grab me and scream and growl in my face about your stupid flint and steel that I didn't take!? topping it off by asking me why I saved you from undressing Lukas and expecting a fucking nice answer after what you did to me when you already knew I was going through a hard time!? THANKS, DAN!"
"I wasn't GOING to scream and growl in your face, but then you were all hostile about the apology!" Dan explains "after that, I decided: screw it!"
"Well, sorry! but the apology kind of ended up falling flat after you started imagining Lizzie and got Mr. Dickens so excited!" Stampy hisses, "not that it was real great in the first place, what with your whole intent from the beginning being to ask me if I fucking STOLE YOUR SHIT!"
"Well excuse me for trying to be a decent human being!" Dan growls "the idea that you might've took my flint and steel isn't enough for me to not comfort you."
"YOU a decent human being!?" Stampy gapes, "thanks a ton for practically spitting in my face after I had the goodwill to step up and take the undressing stuff for you when you were so emotionally troubled earlier!"
"WHEN did I ever spit in your face!?" Dan demands.
"Practically or literally!?" Stampy replies.
"EITHER!" Dan clarifies "and it needs to have been before YOU were hostile to me first!"
"If I ever seemed hostile that was just because I had only recently come out of my emotional breakdown and was watching my girlfriend get fucked by Lukas!" Stampy explains, "you wouldn't have been in a great mood either if you were in my position!"
"Oh? so asking me 'Is that why you came here, Dan? so you could remind me of exactly what's happening while I watch it happen?' wasn't explicitly hostile!?" Dan scoffs.
"I was fucking pissed off!" Stampy defends, "and you were reminding me of how bad I had it!"
"Well, now I'm pissed off!" Dan responds "and I'll remind you AGAIN of how bad you have it: YOUR SLUTBAG, SMALL-TIME WHORE GIRLFRIEND JUST GOT FUCKED IN FRONT OF YOU BY A PSYCHOTIC MONSTER, AND SHE PROBABLY LIKED IT BETTER THAN YOUR TINY KITTEN DICK! AND YOU ARE BOTH STILL MILLIONS OF SUBS BELOW ME!"
"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT, MINECART!" Stampy lunges on top of him again, pelting him with his kitty paws.
"BRING IT!" Dan actually welcomes the fight, prepared for it this time "MY ABS ARE DIAMONDS, BITCH! WHAT'CHA GONNA DO!?" he screams as they hit the floor.
"HELP ME FUCK HIS SHIT, STACY!" Stampy calls on his girlfriend.
"Coming!" Stacy is all on board for this.
"Ugh!" Dan grunts, grabbing the bottle of water out of Stampy's hand "HAVE A DRINK!"
SMASH! Dan shatters the bottle against the side of Stampy's face, cutting it up and embedding glass into his flesh.
"MEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Stampy wails in pain.
"YEAH, MOFO!" Dan shit-talks "I DON'T MESS AROUND! FO' REAL!"
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!?" Jesse's voice sounds.
In seconds, Stampy felt himself and Dan torn apart and held up away from each other, Dan was held by Petra, and Stampy by Jesse.
Lukas was asleep.
"YEAH! get your other girlfriend to fucking save your ass!" Dan taunts.
Pt-pt-pt-pt-WHAM! Stacy runs up and kicks Dan in the nuts.
"GAHHH...!" Dan gasps and nearly collapses.
"Hey! we'll be using those later!" Petra growls, pulling Dan away from Stacy.
"Somebody want to inform me as to what the fucking shit you god damn fuckwads are doing!?" Jesse growls, furious.
"He dishonored Stampy Cat!" Stampy snaps through his bloody and somewhat teary face.
"He attacked me! AGAIN!" Dan calls, his eyes shut tight and his hands clasping his junk.
"Stampy...!" Jesse starts sternly "is that true!? I specifically told you not to start any more fights!"
"I only did it because he wouldn't leave!" Stampy growls, "he just kept bothering and insulting us! I just wanted Stacy to rest and drink her water and feel better, but then he came!"
"I was trying to have a civil conversation with Stacy, but then her violent, possessive boyfriend decided he didn't like that." Dan spits his retort "it's obvious that you have a lot of issues, Stamps, but taking your anger out on me isn't the answer!"
"Shut up!" Jesse shoots Dan down, then turns back to Stampy "Stampy, I'm disappointed, you should've known that the way to solve this was to come talk to me, not fight him."
"I couldn't leave him alone with Stacy!" Stampy protests, "and all it would have done anyway was make him treat me even worse for being a snitch!"
"Why couldn't you leave him alone with Stacy?" Petra raises an eyebrow, then grins "would he... fuck her?"
"No! probably not!" Stampy responds, "but Stacy wasn't feeling good and he was trying to get her to give him advice on getting through being fucked by Lukas! so he was actively reminding her of the trauma she just went through AND preventing her from getting proper rest!"
"Okay, we understand." Jesse answers for Petra "here, Stampy, I have a solution: would you like us to revise the terms and conditions for Dan to include a restraining order to keep him away from you and Stacy?"
"Yes!" Stampy nods rapidly.
"Alright then, it's done." Jesse nods, turning to Dan "stay away from them, or else we'll say you're the killer."
Dan gapes in disgust, "But I didn't do anything! HE attacked ME both times!"
"He antagonized Stampy into it." Stacy claims weakly, she was sitting on the floor again, clutching her legs and slightly shivering.
"BOTH times!" Stampy spits.
"No excuses, Dan, do you accept the new deal or not?" Jesse asks impatiently.
"FINE! whatever!" Dan rolls his eyes and waves his arms obnoxiously "I'll be happy to leave Stampy alone with his girlfriend who still has an ass full of another man's jizz, I hope he dwells on that fact deeply since I'm not gonna be there to distract him."
"I also want one of that bastard's health potions!" Stampy demands.
"Don't have any!" Dan claims.
"Check his clothes!" Stampy pushes.
"With pleasure." Petra nods, she lets Dan go and heads off to roughly check his shit.
"Go in the corner and wait for your big-dicked master to awaken." Jesse orders Dan.
"I like the corner!" Dan blatantly lies as he obeys.
"Don't see no potions here..." Petra observes, pocketing Dan's emeralds "no money either."
"What!?" Dan's shocked "b-but I had...! PEOPLE ARE STEALING EVERYTHING FROM ME!"
"Your ass-virginity is next." Petra informs him, finishing her search "sorry, guys, he really didn't bring any potions."
"Why would I!?" Dan snaps "this was supposed to be a FUN PARTY!"
"Oh, I don't know, Dan!" Stampy mocks, "maybe incase THIS HAPPENS!?"
"Since when has this type of thing EVER happened!?" Dan grouches.
"Well, from the sounds of things it's not as uncommon as you'd think!" Stampy references what Jesse told him about the noobs, "and maybe it's just a good freaking precaution to take!"
"Well, I brought emeralds incase there was something I wanted to buy!" Dan growls "I could've bought health potions with those, if they hadn't DISAPPEARED."
"Oh, wow..." Jesse's not impressed "you could've bought super-overpriced health potions for way more than they're worth instead of just bringing your own! WHAT A GOOD IDEA."
"At least me and Stacy were smart enough to bring some!" Stamps growls back, heading over to his own clothes to retrieve a potion for his poor, beautiful, cuddly face that Dan had damaged so horrendously.
But as Stampy walked, he couldn't help but feel like, at this time, his face reflected his spirits.