Chapter 23: the Warlock's Fury.
"By the way, Stace, how are you doing?" Jesse asks, looking down at Stacy with genuine concern "you seem... awfully tame, is something wrong?"
"Stampy already said multiple times that I wasn't feeling well." Stacy points out.
"Well yeah, but I wanted to hear it from you." Jesse explains "and I wanted more detail."
"Can't fucking believe that idiot didn't bring any-" Stampy grumbles to himself as he heals his face back to normal, also carrying replacement water.
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! there's a knocking on the door.
"Snuckhuh!?" Lukas wakes up.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!" Jesse and Petra freak.
"ARE YOU FUCKING DONE!?" Ivor demands.
"More like, done fucking, heh." Dan's pleased "so much for my ass getting a turn...!"
"Your ass IS getting a turn, one way or another...!" Jesse hisses at him.
"Oh man, aw shit, god help us...!" Petra breaks down "we're... REALLY done."
They had failed... the time limit.
To no one's surprise.
"IT'S BEEN FIFTEEN MINUTES!" Ivor roars.
"Really!?" Jesse's surprised "it felt like five, man...!"
"Should I let him in this time?" Lukas questions.
"NO." Petra stalls "w-we can escape...!" she starts looking for windows "we'll take on new names, he'll never find us!"
"Uh...!" Jesse thinks, "yeah, let him in, but, you know, let me do the talking..."
Lukas nods, and unlatches the door.
BAM! Ivor bursts in, the door narrowly missing Lukas as the elderly wizard furiously stomps up straight to Jesse "I have been, waiting for you, to finish up your... PUZZLE, for ages! I pray, nay, I beg, that you have a good explanation as to why you ARE, STILL, NOT, FINISHED."
"HIDE ME...!" Petra pleads, cowering behind both Stampy and Stacy to hide from Ivor's vision.
"W-well, you see, Ivor...!" Jesse starts nervously "you're a scientist, right?"
"What does THAT have to do with anything!?" Ivor snaps "...yes."
"Well, then you understand General Relativity, right?" Jesse suggests.
"..." Ivor narrows his eyes "...oh, you're good."
"You know it!" Jesse breaks into a grin "you see, it's FELT like five minutes in here, so, when I said 'ten minutes', what I REALLY MEANT was 'thirty minutes'!"
"Errrrrrm...!" Ivor growls, frustrated "that would have been... nice, to know."
"I'm sorry." Jesse makes adorable sad eyes "I didn't expect it to be so good that time would slow THAT badly..."
"Hrmph, must be the best you've ever... wait a second..." Ivor narrows his eyes again as he looks around "...Jesse?"
"Um, yes?" Jesse smiles meekly.
"Care to tell me why, exactly, you are not all IN THE PUZZLE RIGHT NOW!?" Ivor demands, then becomes even more furious with a second realization "AND WHY, IS EVERYBODY, SOFT AND DRY!?"
"Ehhhhhh...!" Jesse shies away "we... uh... *fake cough*... h-have..."
"...nooo." Ivor hisses "don't say it...!"
"Have, *fake cough*, uh, haven't... haven't..." Jesse forces the words "haven't... exactly... started yet...?"
Tense Silence.
"..." Ivor's eyes are wide, his eyebrows curved, face stiff, mouth frowned.
"..." everyone stares at him.
Creeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaak...! Ivor's neck sounds as his head slowly turns like an owl, carrying his straight, fixed gaze over all of them, including what he can see of hiding, shivering little Petra.
"..." everybody is immediately as terrified as Petra.
CRICK! Ivor's neck makes a snappy noise as his head suddenly turns sideways, his death-like, trance-laden eyes staring off into a void.
"...why?" Ivor's raspy, dark voice leaks out of his twisted throat "what... HAVE you been doing... if not... what you were supposed to."
"Well, honestly, we HAVE been doing what we were supposed to, we've just been doing it... really slowly." Jesse explains.
"None... of you... have fucked." Ivor growls "don't lie to me... were you... chatting?"
"Uh, well, two things..." Jesse starts, "first off, we, uh... have, been talking? but, you see, we needed to, Ivor... maybe not necessarily for all of the time, but... it, it took some convincing to get everyone to agree to it, okay? that part took up a lot of time." she explains, "and secondly, we have actually fucked, a couple of us, it would take a bit of explaining for-"
"Stacy still has Lukas' jizz in her ass!" Dan calls "you could probably dig it out if you want proof!"
"Shut it, fucktoy, I didn't tell you to speak!" Jesse snaps, glaring harshly down at little Dan from across the room, then turns back to Ivor, bowing her head slightly in submission again, "Lukas and Stacy, and Petra and Stampy, both the former fucking the latter in the ass, that's all we've done, though..."
"May I speak?" Stacy asks.
"Oh, sure, Stace, go ahead." Jesse immediately okays it.
"Thank you." Stacy nods in appreciation "I would just like to add that you and me played with each other's boobs a bit, not very much, but that was still something."
"But then we stopped to get on with the other stuff!" Jesse forces a nervous grin to Ivor, hoping that this will appease him somewhat.
Ivor seems to process all of this for a moment.
"Here, uh, while you think, could I please continue with the plan?" Lukas asks both Ivor and Jesse "I'm rested and ready to go, just give the word and Dan's ass is wrecked, then there's only the puzzle left, right?"
Jesse just looks to Ivor for permission.
CRINNNK-CLACK! Ivor's head returns to normal "you leave me, out there, alone, for soooooooooooo long, waiting and waiting, and then when I come to you, and ask about the situation, you lie to me to send me away, and then I come back again to find that, to my horror, you have not completed even a minuscule fraction of what I had been lead to believe and hoped to find, and now, you ask to just... continue?"
"..." Jesse and Lukas stare at him.
"WELL!?" Ivor demands a response.
"Ugh!" Petra grunts with great remorse as she clambers out of hiding, "I'M SORRY!" she wails as she runs up to Ivor and slides onto her knees in front of him "IT'S MY FAULT! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT JESSE, SHE DID HER BEST! I WAS THE ONE WHO LIED TO YOU! AND I WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKED THINGS UP SO BAD THAT WE NEEDED TO BRING DAN IN! JESSE NEVER MEANT FOR THINGS TO TAKE THIS LONG, BUT I JUST KEPT DELAYING IT!"
Ivor stares down at the redheaded warrior.
"Um, that's not entirely true..." Lukas starts "Petra may be responsible for a large portion of the time wasted, but she is by no means the only person at fault. I, also, have been the cause of much delay: I could've just moved on with our plan, but I asked for a few minutes of rest, if I hadn't done that we could've used the time to progress significantly. Furthermore, if it wasn't for my lack of experience with anal, we could have simply got on with the fuckpuzzle right away, but I specifically asked Jesse if I could try fucking a man and a woman in the ass to compare their quality, a request that she granted out of the kindness of her heart, on the condition that it be done quickly, however, I was unable to meet that condition due to my poor fucking skills. So as you can see, Petra and myself should share the blame for this, but I agree with her entirely that Jesse is not at fault, and does not deserve your anger."
"No, no, you guys! don't!" Jesse can't take this, "I was the only one who even ever wanted to make Lukas do the ass comparison in the first place! after Petra contaminated Stampy's ass Lukas was completely fine with the idea of just waiting until another day to do it, but then I had to go and bring Dan in anyway! and I should have just made Stampy suck it up instead of cutting him the half hour trauma break! I was also the only one who really pushed the whole 'slowly undressing each other' thing! if we cut that out and just tore it all off this wouldn't have taken nearly as long!"
"SHE'S LYING!" Petra claims "and so is Lukas! it was ALL ME! I'm the only one who deserves whatever cruel and unusual punishment you're planning, whether it's turning us into chickens, or forcing us all to wear chastity belts, or whatever! I should be the only one!"
"Petra, Jesse said don't." Lukas obeys orders "Ivor, what Jesse said is true."
"Hrmph! it sounds to me like you're ALL at fault." Ivor comments.
"But since I'm in the leader position all their mistakes fall under me!" Jesse keeps trying to grab up all the blame.
"SILENCE!" Ivor's the boss bitch now "yes, you are obviously more at fault than either of them, but their mistakes are still partly their responsibility, all of you played a part in leaving me out there for so long, you are all guilty, and your attempts to excuse the others are futile."
Jesse frowns.
"...but on the other hand." Ivor starts, looking at Lukas "such attempts are highly admirable, especially in your case, young Lukas, as you don't have the life-long attachment to each other that Petra and Jesse share, I am impressed that your loyalty has become so strong so quickly."
"...thank you?" Lukas doesn't know exactly what to say.
"You have all shown that despite the wickedness in your hearts, you still have a sense of trust, faithfulness, and love, you are... a family." Ivor states, "and it reminds me of why I joined Petra and Jesse to begin with, because I missed that... connection, that I had been without for so long." he bows his head, sad "you three and our parties are all I have left to cherish in this world, in any world... you are... forgiven, for this incident, there will be no cruel and unusual punishment this time."
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...!" Jesse, Petra and Lukas breathe as they all hug Ivor together.
"I LOVE YOU TOO, IVOR." Petra screams.
"I'm so sorry we left you out there with the fuckhead prisoners for so long!" Jesse apologizes.
"We'll just stop now!" Lukas offers, "...right?" he asks Jesse.
"I-I..." Jesse looks around longingly at all her hard work, "I... guess... for you, Ivor... but, do you think Lukas could at least tap Dan first? if you want I could... I could get my stuff on and follow you out to keep you company until they've finished."
"YES!" Stampy cheers "DO THAT!"
"PLEASE!" Stacy backs him up.
"Oh, fuck you guys." Dan scoffs "he's waited long enough, we should be done."
"No, there is... no need." Ivor says with calm, narrowed eyes "you may... finish, everything."
Silence.
"For real!?" Jesse grins.
"Yes, but I am not going back out there." Ivor confirms "I am going to stay in here with you, and force things along should they become... slow, again."
"Okay!" Jesse nods, "that works!"
"Uhhhhhh...!" Stampy starts nervously "a-are you, s-s-s-sure? I mean, the puzzle could take a long time, what about the rest of the crowd outside? won't they get impatient?"
"They'll be good, the door is locked and there's zombies outside, they won't go anywhere." Jesse waves it off.
"They're two fuckin' people, what are they gonna do? lulz." Petra chuckles.
What will they do, indeed?
POLL RESULTS!
"How much of the stuff on their list will Jesse and friends be able to get done before the lava-loving-lunatic comes back and fucks their shit? (and not in the way they want.)"
1. 100%: they succeed in fucking Stacy's ass, fucking Dan's ass, planning and doing the fuckpuzzle. 1 Vote(s). (33%)
2. 75%: they succeed in fucking Stacy's ass, fucking Dan's ass, and planning the fuckpuzzle, but fail to do it. 1 Vote(s). (33%)
3. 50%: they succeed in doing the ass-comparison, but fail to get onto the fuckpuzzle. 0 Votes(s). (0%)
4. 25%: they succeed in fucking Stacy's ass, but fail to fuck Dan's and complete the ass-comparison, let alone the fuckpuzzle. 0 Vote(s). (0%)
5. 00%: They waste all their *fucking time and get nothing done. (*Pun initially unintended, but then realized.) 1 Vote(s). (33%)
Total Votes: 3.
Total Voters: 2.
"Will Lukas finish his breather before the time limit runs out?"
1. Yes! Five minutes is ONLY half their time. 0 Vote(s). (0%)
2. No! Like Stampy said, five minutes is HALF their time. 1 Vote(s). (100%)
Total Votes: 1.
Total Voters: 1.
OOH, we got votes all over the place, but nobody chose the correct answer of 25%, they fucked Stacy's ass but did nothing else with their precious time. Luckily, Ivor has forgiven them and will now be there to help them along, however, this leaves the open question: Now that they've been left alone, what will Lizzie and Cassie do?
VOTE NOW!