It was a nice day; but then again, every day on Olympus was nice. The sun was shining, there was a cool summer breeze blowing, and the flowers were in full bloom. Although the weather wasn't much different during the winter either, still enjoying the day was one goddess in particular.

Athena had just returned from the Trip Café, a franchise of very famous and popular cafes owned by Triptolemus. Athena particularly enjoyed their Ambrosia muffins. It was one thing to have a normal blueberry muffin — the goddess was fond of those too — but it was entirely different to bite into the ambrosia baked and stuffed heavenly delight that was the 'Double "A" Muffin'. Athena had taken her muffin to one of the many parks in the immortal city so that she could enjoy it to the peacefully bustling ambience of an Olympian morning. 'Perfect,' she thought. It was her own wisdom that one should take a break from their busy schedule to enjoy the little things every once in a while; and she was the goddess of wisdom so...

There was nothing that could possibly have ruined her morning until she heard the flapping of wings. Athena tried her very best to ignore it, or feign obliviousness, for she did not want to have this encounter so early in the morning. But would he be remotely courteous of the fact that she was currently about to have breakfast? No, of course not. That simply was not Hermes's style. It was completely his style, however, to come swaggering over with a smug grin and a plethora of twisted jokes. How he thought that could convince Athena to date him was beyond her. 'At least try to come up with a joke that doesn't end in sex or death, preferably,' she thought. However, she would entertain him nonetheless simply for when the conversation turned into a battle of the wits. She enjoyed leaving the silver-tongued god of orators tongue tied. It made up for, well, everything else. The one thing that above all others that irritated her, however, was that cursed internet. He would not stop bragging about it until Athena wanted to shove Aegis up his derriere... And then yank it out with as much force as possible. She would admit, the invention of the internet was a stroke of brilliance on his part, but genius quickly becomes obnoxious when it is brought up in every conversation they have. "But did you invent the one tool that revolutionized the world?" she could already hear him saying. Quite frankly, she had invented many tools that revolutionized the world, like the yoke and the plough to name a few. But as she heard him approaching, she quickly turned her slight frown neutral.

"Athena! What a coincidence to see you here." He grinned and gestured to their surroundings.

"And why is it such a coincidence?"

"Because I was just looking for you but I couldn't find you, so I came here to rest for a few minutes before it's back to work," Hermes answered nonchalantly.

Athena leaned forward, a little curious. "Well now you've found me. What do you need of me?"

Hermes's eyes twinkled mischievously as he fished for something inside the mailman bag slung over his shoulder. "If I could just find it... I swear I put it in here," he said distractedly.

Athena raised an eyebrow. On one hand, the rational side of her thought that Hermes simply brought a message. Although, what could be so important that he would physically deliver it to her? 'Perhaps a summoning from father?' she thought. However, the other, also rational (because she was the rational goddess) side of her recognized that glint in the messenger god's eyes. It rarely meant anything other than trouble.

"Found it!" Hermes held up a fancy white envelope with gold lettering. He presented the envelope to Athena.

She carefully took it, weary of anything that looked remotely explosive. She still remembered the Olympian Masquerade they had a few centuries back; Hermes had given Apollo his invitation, and the sun god had opened it to a face full of exploding gunpowder. She didn't think anyone could look so enraged and offended with a soot covered face. Nevertheless, Athena opened the letter she was currently holding without being sprayed with hot pink dye, or exploding, or being sprayed with exploding hot pink dye. The letter itself was addressed to someone named Hugo Raymond. "Why are you giving this to me? Clearly, I am not Hugo, nor am I Raymond, and I am most certainly not Hugo Raymond."

"A goddess named Hugo," Hermes said thoughtfully, "One probably has to exist somewhere out there; probably our half-sister." Athena smiled lightly at his scathingly accurate comment. She was glad that neither Zeus nor Hera were anywhere near the vicinity.

"Anyways, the letter is addressed to me. It's an invitation to some mortal gala. Something about science and communications technology. Hugo Raymond has been invited to accept an award for his technological breakthrough that will revolutionize the communications industry," Hermes stated smugly.

"Oh, congratulations Hermes! What's the new invention?" Although she hated how smug he was, her curiosity did her better as he caught her interest with this new breakthrough.

"I can show it to you, before anyone else gets their hands on it. But you have to come along with me to the gala. Maybe we can even celebrate the award I win afterwards." He gave her a sly wink and a flying kiss.

Athena stared at him as if he had grown a second head. Then, she gave her famous death glare. Then, she proceeded to slap Hermes across the face. Then, she began to throw an entire dictionary — scratch that, maybe more like several dictionaries — of very colourful words at him in Ancient Greek, most of which she, herself, had learned from Artemis, who in turn, had learned them from the Phoenicians. It's always the Phoenicians. Meanwhile, Hermes was still caressing his stinging cheek and his wounded ego, blank shock written across his face.

"You – You slapped me."

"Oh my bad, would you prefer being run through with my spear instead?"

White, hot anger quickly replaced Hermes's shock. "All I asked was for you to accompany me to the gala, and you slap me!?"

Athena crossed her arms. "Really? All you did was ask me to the gala?"

"A simple 'no' would have sufficed," Hermes growled. "By Zeus, this is why nobody ever asks you on a date!"

"You half-brained twit! No one asks me on a date because I am a sworn virgin! Some people actually respect that oath; hard to believe, I know!" she yelled.

By now, everybody within a 50 foot radius of the two had quickly cleared the area. They did not want to get caught in the crossfire and be turned into a rather ugly mushroom or other pathetic forms of flora. Fights between Olympians were a nasty thing; even the small spats could result in at least one major national catastrophe. You know how families can be. Nonetheless, they still intently watched the scene unfold from afar. This was going to be the latest gossip and it was definitely going to be all over the Olympian tabloids. Olympus Weekly would probably read "Secret Flame Between Hermes and Athena: Fallout or Marriage Plans? Visit page 3".

The two gods continued bickering for a few moments before Athena finally noticed that they were creating quite a scene. "Fine I'll come with you to the gala, but only because I don't want to read about our secret wedding tomorrow in Olympus Weekly."

Hermes's anger quickly dissipated. "Hey, a secret wedding wouldn't be so bad. I know just the place. It's –"

"No."

"Okay well, this little gala thing, we'll call it a date."

"It's like you're asking to be thrown off Olympus," Athena replied, growing more and more irritated, especially given Hermes's growing amusement.

Hermes gave a lopsided grin. "And that new invention? Best thing since the internet." Hermes knew very well how quickly Athena got irritated when he brought up the internet, and so, unwilling to incur her wrath any further, he quickly flew off.

Athena was left to ponder Hermes's very obvious and very unwanted pining after her. She considered what it would be like to date him, but quickly wrinkled her nose and suppressed the bile she could feel rising up. Her thoughts then shifted to this new invention and Hermes's last words to her. This was definitely going to be the internet all over again. At that thought, Athena felt a faint pounding begin in her head and groaned inwardly. She tried to massage her temples, hoping to stop the pain before it came, but then her eyes fell on something brown on the ground. It was her muffin, uneaten, lying on the grass, and half stepped on; her beautiful, delicious, beloved Double "A" Muffin. Suddenly, she really wished she had indeed run Hermes through with her spear.

January 27, 2018