Cassie: I know, I'm so sorry! I feel the same way! I felt like a terrible person, I swear. I cried when writing it. It killed me. I didn't want to apologize in excess last chapter because I didn't want to give away how bad it was. My only hope is that I properly portrayed demonism's effect on Dean. For his break down I used personal experience as a guide. I promise you he'll pull through, but we're not out of the woods yet. Not even after this chapter. One more after this maybe. Then the Pack convene.
~.~.~
The angel sauntered a gentle pace over the leaves strewn across the once beaten path, that had been now been abandoned by the hiking public, rustling up the leaves in the wake of his stride. He paused at the end of the bench and got the younger's attention by pressing one of the beers he'd been carrying to his shoulder. His little brother looked up at him with tears in his eyes, a slightly red coloration the only other sign.
"Gabriel? I thought you-" Gabe sighed and cocked his head.
"Yeah, well, I wasn't about to let my baby bro cry in the woods all alone..." He nudged Castiel with the cold bottle and once it had been taken he sat down with his own. He sat forward and took a swig. "Ah, bestow upon me all of thy woes, Castiel." Castiel sighed.
"Dean..." He stopped; looking at the beer in his hand, then took a gentle sip. "Dean lied to me... Has been for a while now apparently... He's a... He's bee n turned into a demon, by the mark of Cain... He has been one since we usurped Metatron. Crowley and Sam knew... It seems I was the only one in his life who's been in the dark about this... "
"Well, he did hide it from you, but do you really think he lied to you?" Gabe asked understanding it wasn't a time to joke.
"He had more than enough chances to tell me. He might as well have lied to me by hiding it..." Gabe nodded. "He says he is still himself, but the Dean I know would never keep something like that from me... I don't want a different Dean. I don't want him to have changed. I want the Dean I know. My friend, my ward..."
"I hear what you're saying. That's a big change to deal with... Him being a demon..." Cas heaved a sigh and put the bottle to his lips again, sipping the bittersweet cold liquid. "I'm not defending him or anything... But if it's tough for you, have you considered how fucked up it must have been for him all this time...?" Castiel closed his eyes and sighed, feeling slightly guilty for not considering that.
"No..."
"Do you think maybe he just didn't want the one person he felt human with, looking at him differently?" Cas bit his lip.
"I can appreciate the point you're trying to make... And I do feel bad for not considering his feeling in the matter..." Gabe straightened up a bit and put an arm around his younger brother.
"But that doesn't help you feel any less hurt. I know Cas... And I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't be hurt. He was an idiot... I'm just making sure you aren't lying to yourself." Cas looked over to Gabe. "Dean cares about you more than anyone. You even beat Sammy out of 1st sometimes, I'm sure. He didn't keep this from you to hurt you or because he doesn't care about or trust you. He was scared..." Cas looked away again. "And I'm sure in that idiot's little mind, you reacted just how he was afraid you would..." Cas looked back over at him and nodded.
"Thank you, brother..." Gabe smiled at the younger angel.
"Anytime. Beat it ya crazy kid." Cas set down his half empty beer and disappeared. Gabe drank his own bottle as the short, bearded former author picked up Cas'.
"How's he holding up?" Chuck asked before sitting beside Gabe and taking a swig.
"Pretty well surprisingly..." Chuck sighed once he swallowed.
"I wish the same could be said for Dean." Gabriel looked at him cautiously.
"Are they gonna be okay?" Chuck gave back a sad smile in return.
"Aren't they always...?"