ages: Joffrey 26, Myrcella 22, Tommen 20, Gemma 11
"You just couldn't wait, could you?" asked Jaime smirking at Cersei as she pulled him away from their guests and into another room. He made a move to draw her in for a kiss, but she pushed him away, "No! I want to know what Tyrion is doing here!"
Jaime's look of amusement quickly turned to a look of frustration. "Well, he's our brother and it's Christmas, where else would he be?"
"At his own house, downing a bottle of scotch, perhaps? I don't care. I didn't invite him, and I don't want him here," answered Cersei.
"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I did. You can hardly ask him to leave now. What would everyone think? Besides that Tyrion is sober now, so no he would not be drowning himself in scotch."
Cersei tried to fight her growing headache and temper as she replied, "As if this dinner wasn't going to be bad enough with father now gone and Tommen with that smirking whore, you just had to go and make it worse!"
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the house Joffrey had let himself in with the key Cersei had given him a while ago, much to Gemma's annoyance.
"Where is mother?" Joffrey asked his sister as he entered the dining room.
"In the lounge room, I believe. Greeting the guests," replied Gemma.
"Has our dear brother brought Margarey or has she finally dumped him yet? Did she finally realize that she chose the wrong brother?" asked Joffrey
Gemma had to stop herself from laughing. Chosen the wrong brother? Tommen was a junior in college, with high hopes and plans for the future. He still planned to be a veterinarian one day. Meanwhile, twenty-six-year-old Joffrey barely finished high school and currently lived off the trust fund Robert had set up for him, which he'd come of age for on his twenty-fifth birthday.
"Well, has she? Dumped him yet, I mean."
"Since two days ago when you last spoke to mom and asked her? What do you think?"
"Don't get an attitude with me. Answer the question!"
Gemma sighed, "This morning mother said Tommen was bringing Margarey and her grandmother to dinner."
"She's bringing that old bat?"
"I believe so."
"Well, that's too bad. Never did like her. Either way though this should be quite fun. When Margaery see's that I've been working out, she's gonna be sorry she chose that fat little boy over me. Perhaps she'll even dump him right here at this very table," he replied as he got out his cigarettes and lighter.
"Mom says no smoking in the house," scolded Gemma.
"She also says no snacking before dinner, but that doesn't seem to be stopping you," he retorted back before continuing, "Why don't you make yourself useful and get me a pudding too?"
"Get your own pudding. You'll have to go to the kitchen fridge though, this is the last one from here."
"Since you're eating the last one you should go and grab me one. Now," demanded Joffrey
"Get it yourself."
"You get it. Or else I might put this cigarette out on Miss Fluffles."
"Fine," she replied storming off.
"And don't forget a spoon!" he called after her.
Just as the servants laid the ham and side dishes onto the table, Gemma returned with an opened pudding cup with a spoon already inside.
Joffrey quickly put his cigarette out in the nearest potted plant and then grabbed the pudding cup from Gemma. "Finally. It took you long enough, you better not have eaten any of this," he complained as he began to spoon pudding into his mouth. He swallowed and immediately his mouth was on fire. He reached for the closest thing to him to drink. Unfortunately, this happened to be Tyrion's Mcdonald's coffee, which was hot in a different way. His face got all red as if he were on fire. Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion, Myrcella, Trystane, Tommen, Margaery and Olenna Tyrell all walked into the room just in time to see Joffrey spit coffee all over the freshly cooked ham.
"Joffrey! What is going on here!" exclaimed Cersei.
"Hot hot hot!" he exclaimed as the servants came back with their drinks. Joffrey grabbed a drink right off the tray and quickly guzzled it all down.
"So that's where I left my coffee, wonder if it's cooled enough to drink yet," commented Tyrion as he finally noticed his McDonald's coffee sitting on the table.
"Obviously not as I just had some. My mouth was on fire," stated Joffrey
"Yes, McDonald's coffee is never something you should drink until it's had a chance to cool some. Did you know some women recently got third-degree burns from it? So tragic," commented Margaery.
"My mouth was on fire before that actually. This pudding, It's hot. Like super spicy hot."
"Let me see that," replied Cersei concerned as she grabbed the pudding to inspect it. "Chocolate pudding should not have red in it. Where did you get this from?" she asked.
"The kitchen fridge, Gemma got it for me."
"Gemma! Did you put hot sauce in this pudding?"
"Yes. But mom, he was asking for it, he threatened Miss Fluffles even!"
Cersei sighed. "Once again the two of you manage to ruin a holiday dinner," sighed Cersei before continuing, "You realize we will have to go out now, the meal is ruined. "
"Where are we going to find a place that is open on Christmas day, and where we can get in at last moment's notice?" asked Myrcella.
"The Mcdonald's on Riverside is open," suggested Tommen helpfully.
"How do you know they're open? You promised me no more fast food!," cut in Margaery.
"Tyrion got a coffee from there, so it must be open," replied Tommen thinking quick.
"Actually, I got this from the McDonald's on northvine," Tyrion stated as Margaery gave Tommen a look of disapproval.
"Enough. It doesn't matter which McDonald's is open because we are not eating Mcdonald's for Christmas dinner!" exclaimed Cersei.
"Where, then? There isn't going to be much of a selection on Christmas day," commented Trystane.
"Euron Luck just opened a new resturant in the city. Why don't we see if they're open?" suggested Jaime helpfully.
"You do know that's a seafood chain, right, brother?" asked Cersei
"So?" asked Jaime, failing to see a problem.
"So why would we want seafood for Christmas dinner?"
"Actually, I saw an ad in the paper. They're open Christmas day and serving Christmas dinners of ham, turkey, and duck." offered Margaery.
"There must be something else open mother. That place has a horrible reputation," stated Myrcella.
"Oh please. The owners rumored mob and cult connections won't affect our meal. He's probably never even stepped foot in this particular chain," stated Olenna.
"We could each write all the places down that we can think of and have the servants call them all to see what is open," stated Margaery taking control much to Cersei's chagrin.
"Fine, but everyone just add one place. We don't want to be here all day Servant, please fetch me a notebook and pen," commanded Cersei.
"No need I have a notepad right here," said Margaery, ever prepared.
"There," she said as she wrote down Euron Luck before passing the list off to Tommen. Eventually, everyone had added a restaurant. Cersei had one of her maids, Bernadette take the list to the other servants to call them all.
A short time later Bernadette returned.
"Ms. Lannister?"
"Yes, Bernadette?"
"We called every place on your list."
"Yes, and?"
"Well, there's five that are open."
"Five. That's more then I expected, Well, what are they?"
Bernadette hesitated.
"Just say it. It can't be that bad!"
"Euron Luck, Burger King, Denny's, Hooter's, and Pizza Hut"
"Is this a joke? Fast food, pizza and hooters?! Hooters, of all places? Who here added such filth to the list?!" asked Cersei furiously. She looked around accusingly at everyone, as she waited for an answer until her eyes finally rested on Tyrion.
"What?! You think that was me? No. I may like my eye candy but I know how innappriate that would be."
"I know it was you, you little heathen," accused Cersei
"Actually, mother, that was me."
"You added that filth to the list?" asked Cersei appalled as she turned to look at her eldest son.
"Yes, mother. I've had a hard year, what with Tommen stealing my fiance and all. Figured I could use a little eye candy to get myself back in the game. Who knows maybe I'll even take a hooters girl back home with me" stated Joffrey to Cersei, he was, however, looking at Margaery as he said it.
Tommen shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Joffrey was never going to let it go about Margaery. The only girl Joffrey had ever treated with an ounce of respect and it still hadn't been enough. His lack of ambition and his cruelty to others had driven her away. Tommen had never stolen her, in spite of his mothers and Joffrey's accusations he and Margaery had only just been friends. It wasn't until weeks after her breakup with Joffrey that something had started to bloom between the two. But, the damage was done, Joffrey considered Margaery his still and Cersei hated her for breaking her eldest's heart.
"Margaery and you were broken up for weeks before she and I ever went out, " he stated for the millionth time to his brother.
"I'm sure you two didn't need to go out to betray me, " Joffrey replied accusingly.
"Joffrey, Tommen would never betray you like that. You and I just didn't work out. We weren't compatible. I'm sure you'll find someone more compatible one day," she said smiling sweetly at him.
Cersei looked as if she wanted to wring Margaery's neck and Joffrey looked absolutely livid. Everyone else, looked extremely uncomfortable. Dinner hadn't even begun and things were already beyond the point of awkward.
Finally, Joffrey replied, "On the contrary, you and I are very compatible. We're both fit, attractive people. You can't tell me you're compatible with...with Jabba the Hut there?" he asked gesturing to Tommen.
"Tommen is not obese, or even that much overweight anymore. He has less than fifteen pound's left to lose until he is at a healthy weight. Your arguments hold no water, " Margaery retorted.
"Enough everyone, now I think we can all agree that Hooters is not an appropriate place to have Christmas dinner. Neither is a pizza or burger joint, so that leaves Denny's and Euron Luck. Denny's is a poor person's restaurant, so I suppose we will be going to Euron Luck," stated Cersei.
"Let's go to Dennys, poor people food is yummy!" stated Gemma.
"She shouldn't get any say, mother. She ruined Christmas dinner!" protested Joffrey.
"None of this would have happened if you hadn't threatened Mrs. Fluffles!" defended Gemma.
"Enough. Now Gemma, why do you say poor people food is yummy?" asked Cersei concerned.
"Well, I like those places with the pizza and burgers best and I figure they're poor people places because nobody ever dresses up."
"I would also prefer Denny's, Euron Luck has horrible reviews as well as a horrible reputation," stated Myrcella cutting in on what was likely to become a lecture of places that should be avoided.
"We could take a vote between the two," suggested Margaery taking control once again.
"Fine. Let's vote. Who's in favor of Euron Luck?" asked Cersei
Everyone except for Myrcella, Trystane, Tyrion, and Gemma voted for Euron Luck.
"Well, it's settled then. Euron Luck it is." stated Cersei, "So, let's head out."
Around twenty minutes later they arrived at Euron Luck. For its logo the restaurant had a giant squid in the front, above that was a cartoonish drawing of a dark haired man smirking with the words 'Euron Luck' next to him.
Entering the restaurant they found that the place was crowded for Christmas day, but there were still a few empty tables.
"Table for ten please," stated Cersei
"Do you have a reservation?"
"No."
"Afraid I cannot help you then."
"I'm Cersei Lannister."
"Doesn't matter. We don't have any tables available. "
Cersei fought to keep her temper in check. "I see several tables available, for example, that huge one over there."
"Indeed there are. None for you though. Better luck next time."
"You need to seat us. We didn't have our limo drivers drive us all the way here for nothing."
"Afraid you did, mam. Now please leave."
Olenna cut in flashing a hundred dollar bill at the man. "Can you seat us now?"
The man's demeanor instantly changed. "I believe I can," he stated as Olenna handed him the money.
"Follow me," he stated leading them to the huge table in the middle of the dining area.
"I was just giving an example. We want a more private table near the back. Nothing near the bathrooms, though." stated Cersei as the man stopped at the table.
"Oh you never stop do you?" asked Olenna rhetorically.
"We do have such a table available under the right conditions, of course, I could seat you there..."
"Will this do it?" asked Olenna holding out another one hundred dollar bill to the man.
"Indeed it shall. Follow me."
"Your waiter will be by in a bit. Your menus are on the table" he stated gesturing to the rack of menus on the far right side of the large table.
"Sooner rather then later, some of us don't have that long you know," stated Olenna pulling out another hundred dollar bill.
"Of course. He will be by as soon as possible."
Jaime, who was seated at the end, took the stack of menu's and thoughtfully put a children's menu on top for Gemma, before passing them to her to pass down. However, as he was doing so, he spotted a familiar looking person out of the corner of his eye. He quickly took his menu and hid behind it in hopes said person would not spot him. Years ago, they'd once been such good friends, until he'd felt she'd wanted more, and he knew his heart belonged with Cersei, so he'd began to distance himself for her sake. That and truthfully, Cersei was fearful she had known the truth about her and Jaime. Although now everyone seemed to know, as they were the biggest joke ever in the tabloids since Robert's death over a decade ago. However, fifteen years ago there had been very few rumors, and certainly not any the media had published. He thought back to Brienne, he felt bad they were strangers now, he'd never intended for them to lose touch completely, however, he really did not want to have an awkward run-in with her.
Just then Gemma's voice cut through his thoughts. "I'm not a kid! Why would you give me a kid menu!" she exclaimed to Jaime as she saw there was a children's menu on the top of the stack.
"Perhaps he meant it for Tommen, The portions are smaller so he could very well use a kid's menu to order from it as might help his obesity problem," stated Joffrey viciously.
"Perhaps he meant if for you so that you could use the pictures to order by, no big words, or any words for you to attempt to read," stated Olenna
"Joffrey is an excellent reader, aren't you Joffrey. What book have you been reading lately?" questioned Cersei in hopes of proving her boy to be intelligent.
"I have been reading some self-help books lately, mother."
"Oh lord I do not think there are enough of those in the world to help you," replied Olenna.
"I do not need help. I have improved upon everything I could. Now that my appearance matches my great personality I am thinking of giving the books to Myrcella or Gemma, seeing as Tommen is beyond help. As you can all see, I've been working out lately. Making my appearance as great as my personality," he replied flexing his muscles.
"Mom, aren't you gonna chastise uncle Jaime for giving me a children's menu?" asked Gemma cutting in.
"But, you are a child, you're only eleven. You don't want to grow up that quick, do you? Why, your siblings ordered from the children's menu's until they were teenagers, except for Tommen of course," stated Cersei concerned.
"I think considering that you should make her order from the children's menu, you don't want her to be another Tommen, do you?" asked Joffrey cruelly.
"That is a rather valid point, actually, no offense Tommen," commented Cersei.
"Mom! Cmon, it's Christmas. Don't make me order from the kiddie menu." she pouted sweetly while simultaneously kicking Joffrey under the table.
"Ow!" exclaimed Joffrey kicking back.
"Yeah, Gemma's too skinny if anything, mom, she should order from the adult menu if she wants," stated Myrcella defending her sister.
"Very well then, but only because it's Christmas. Don't go growing up on me so fast. And the two of you better stop it now," she stated as Gemma got one last final kick in.
Everyone spent the next few moment's looking at the menu and making small talk about the choices. Gemma was confused why there were no options for a nice cheese pizza.
Sure enough only five minutes later a waiter dressed as a pirate was at their table. He tapped on the table to get everyones attention. Then, remaining silent, he held out a small index card that said, "Everyone ready to order?"
"Are you deaf or slow or something?" asked Joffrey, "Why the note?"
The pirate gestured to a large sign nearby on the wall, which said "Euron Luck Pirate's will never talk! Simply tell them your order and they will write it down and show it to our cooks. You may, of course, review it if you like."
"What a ridiculous gimmick," stated Joffrey.
"It is rather unnecessary," agreed Trystane.
"Speak now I will write," said another premade sign he held up.
Cersei rolled her eyes, yet made her move to order. "I would like a glass of Red Wine."
"Cersei! You're eleven years sober, you can't!" protested Jaime
"I need it today."
"Mother, you really shouldn't," agreed Myrcella.
"Oh please. A little wine can't hurt," stated Joffrey
"I always knew I would one day beat you on length of sobriety, I suppose this certainly will make it easier," stated Tyrion.
"Since when are you sober?" asked Cersei
"Going on a year now this January."
Cersei gritted her teeth, "I'll have a 7 up, actually. And the roasted duck, with sides of sweet potatoes with butter pecan topping, cornbread, and lemon pepper green beans."
The waiter then took everyone else's orders, which were all duck, turkey, or ham with their whatever sides they chose. Finally and lastly it was Gemma's turn to order. She proceeded to make an attempt to order pizza.
The waiter quickly jotted down, "We do not sell pizza here, except for the house special of calamari pizza."
"Then I would like a calamari pizza and leave off the calamari, please," stated Gemma.
The waiter then jotted down another sign which said, "You cannot order the calamari pizza and ask them to leave off the calamari, what kind of restaurant do you think this is?"
"Fine, then. I'll have a turkey dinner with cheesy mashed potatoes, stuffing, and cornbread."
The waiter held up a larger notebook with their orders written and everyone confirmed their order was correct before the waiter scurried off.
"You can put the menu down now since we've ordered," said Cersei rolling her eyes at Jaime.
"I'm bored and I'd like to see what desserts they have," stated Jaime making up any excuse to stay hidden.
"I'm going to go use the restroom, I'll be right back," stated Joffrey.
"Take your time," said Olenna, stating what everyone else, sans Cersei, was feeling.
"Anyone else think that thing with the waiter was strange? Him not talking and the sign that Euron Luck Pirates don't talk? Not that I'm complaining, but how odd," stated Jaime.
"I have heard rumors that they cannot talk. That all of the employees have their tongues cut out," stated Trystane.
"Don't be so ridiculous," stated Cersei rolling her eyes.
"Actually, mother, I think it may be true. They say the owner Euron Greyjoy is the leader of some bizarre pirate cult," added Myrcella
"I tend to agree with Trystane and Myrcella on this, something is not right here, and that's coming from someone who's been in more than his fair share of strange establishments," stated Tyrion.
"Well, if he did have their tongues removed I think I quite like it. I hate when we get chatty waiters," stated Jaime.
"I think you all need to stop reading the tabloids and stop talking about such horrid things around Gemma," stated Cersei, frustrated with everyone's wild imaginations.
"It's okay, mom, I've read all about it too. I think it's cool. I think Joffrey should apply for a job here."
"Gemma!"
"Ah yes, that would be a good job for the boy, god knows he needs to do something, and even better if such a rumor were true, However I guarantee you anything so ridiculous is not, on that front I agree with your mother for once," stated Olenna, "Not to say the tabloids don't have some truth in them these days though, especially last week's Sun."
"Wasn't that the one that claimed on the cover mother and uncle Jaime were having an incestuous affair? How can you say such a terrible thing?" asked Tommen horrified.
"Oh, you poor naive boy," stated Olenna simply.
"Grandma! Stop kidding. We know it's not true." stated Margaery.
"Of course dear, of course."
Cersei tried to calm herself. If the old bat really knew the truth to the rumors she would have to be dealt with quietly at a later point. For now, there was nothing she could do.
Meanwhile, Joffrey had finished using the men's room and was heading back to the table when he noticed a tank with a large number of lobsters in it. The sign on the machine read "You catch it, you eat it for free."
Inside the tank on top was a claw machine similar to that of which was used in the machines filled with stuffed animals at the grocery store. He grinned widely at the chance to catch some poor lobster. As soon as the little girl currently playing the machine finished he would catch him some.
Joffrey waited, but when the girl failed she put more money into the machine.
"Oh give it up. Let someone who knows what they're doing have a turn!" he exclaimed frustrated.
"No. I have to save them. My mommy said every lobster I catch we can release back into the ocean. I won't stop until I save some," the girl replied as she began to play again.
Joffrey rolled his eyes and watched her fail again before stating, "Well clearly you are as bad as this as you are ugly, it's my turn now," he replied, shoving her out of the way before reaching for his wallet. He got out some money and bent down to put it in the machine when suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his nose.
"Ow! You little brat! Where are your parents?" said Joffrey as he turned to look at the cause of his pain.
Just then a woman or man, Joffrey wasn't sure which came up to the machine.
"There you are, Arianne."
"I didn't catch any, mommy," she pouted.
Before the women could reply Joffrey cut in, "This little brat belongs to you?"
"Do not refer to my child as a brat! But, yes, yes, she does," she stated smiling down proudly at the little girl who looked just like her, save for the wildly curly red hair.
"You have the same beautiful eyes."
"Why thank you!" replied the women flustered, clearly she wasn't used to getting compliments like that.
"It's a shame about the rest of the both of you. Such lovely eyes on such hideous faces."
The women's face got red. She gave Joffrey a murderous glare as she tried to calm herself. Finally, she turned towards her daughter and spoke, "Come on Arianne, let's go find daddy so we can get out of here."
"You cannot go. Your brat punched me. My people need to get in touch with your people so a proper punishment can be determined," stated Joffrey matter of factly.
"Arianne. Is this true?" she asked stopping in her tracks.
"Yes mommy, but first he called me ugly and then he shoved me!"
"It would seem you got what you deserved then Sir, do not shove little girls!" the women exclaimed, her temper clearly rising.
Before Joffrey could reply, a tall, very tough looking redheaded man came up to them, "Paid the check and left a nice tip just like you asked love."
"Do these creatures belong to you?" asked Joffrey rudely.
"This is my wife Brienne and our daughter Arianne. Do you have a problem with them?" he asked Joffrey.
"I am Joffrey Baratheon, and your wife and daughter have been a thorn in my side these past few moments," replied Joffrey.
"Oh, is that so? And how are my lovely Brienne and my sweet daughter Arianne bothering you?" he asked in a seemingly friendly tone, putting his hand on Joffrey's back in a friendly manner.
Joffrey, being ever so stupid thought the man sincerely felt bad that his wife and daughter had mistreated him. For he was Joffrey Baratheon, son of the late Robert Baratheon, grandson of Tywin Lannister. His family was a political dynasty and this couple's daughter would have to pay a price for laying her mangy little hands on him. He paused for a moment. What was that? His nose. It was bleeding. Oh, she really would have to pay for this.
"By existing. Those beautiful eyes with those huge noses, and freckles? It's a crime against nature. But, more importantly, that daughter of yours punched me. I demand your contact information so that my people can take care of this matter, clearly, she needs to be..." Joffrey stopped suddenly as he felt himself being lifted off the ground.
"Now listen here. If my wife weren't pregnant you would be experiencing way worse right now. She would pummel you into next week and then we'd sit down and have some calamari while you withered in pain on this here floor."
Joffrey turned white as a sheet. "Do you...do you know who I am?" he stammered out.
"You're the kid of that dead senator and the other senator's daughter, the one who fucks her brother. And your fiance left you for your brother," replied Tormund knowledgeably.
"How dare..."
"Get out of my sight now before I do take it upon myself to pummel you into next week. I couldn't care less who you are. I surely need to stop reading those trashy tabloids." he added as an afterthought as he released his grip.
With that Joffrey finally stammered off in anger, the lobster prize machine forgotten.
Joffrey returned to the table just as the food arrived, sulking and holding a large number of napkins which he had stolen from a nearby table, under his bleeding nose,
"Joffrey! What happened!" asked Cersei concerned.
"Someone's fist happened after his mouth did I'm guessing," stated Olenna.
"Some little-redheaded brat did this, and her insufferable parents blamed me!. Mother, you need to come with me now, we must catch them before they leave. You see what they did to me."
"Of course, no one gets away with harming my son! Jaime, go take care of it."
"My food will get cold..."
"Somebody needs to go, now, they were leaving!" exclaimed Joffrey
"Would that be the red-headed girl who hit you? She's even younger than me!" asked Gemma pointing out the window.
"Yes! Quick, someone write down their license plate."
Nobody, except for Cersei and Joffrey made any effort to look for a pen. Everyone else began eating.
"I can write with this lip gloss I suppose" stated Cersei after failing to find any pens.
"It's too late. They're gone. You are all useless."
"How is it you support yourself again?" asked Olenna rhetorically.
"My father's trust fund, you senile old bat," replied Joffrey.
"Joffrey is taking some time off to decide what he wants to do with his life, aren't you Joffrey, perhaps a career in politics one day?" asked Cersei hopefully.
"I have thought of it. But, If you ask me, I shouldn't even need to run for office, my father and grandfather were senators, I obviously know what I'm doing." replied Joffrey, "If someone were to give me an office to make important decisions in I'd be great at the task. After all, I told you all that Targaryen girl was a political threat. But, grandpa never listened to me all those years ago and now we have a Targaryen governor. "
"Well, even a stopped clock is right twice a day," remarked Olenna.
"I am surprised you can even tell time. Aren't you like 100? Shouldn't you be deaf and blind soon," retorted Joffrey cruelly.
"*I'll be seventy-four next April, probably an age you are unlikely to see."
"So what are you up to these days, Myrcella? We hardly see you any" asked Margaery changing the subject.
"Busy with school and dance. I get my degree in political science next year."
"Yes, I am so proud of you. Perhaps one day you can help undo some of what Tyrion has been doing in the Senate," stated Cersei smiling.
"Yes, actually, mother, about that, I..."
"Yes?"
"Well you know I'm a Democrat, mother."
"Still? I assumed you would have outgrown that by now. Although Tyrion hasn't outgrown it, however, Tyrion has always had a problem with not outgrowing things." replied Cersei
"A short joke. How clever," cut in Tyrion
"Yes, still, I don't agree with any of the Republican politics, sorry mother."
"What is there not to agree with? Other than their stance on certain women's issues, which as well-off women will never affect us."
"Oh leave the girl be, who would wanna be a Republican anyway," stated Olenna
"Well, I'm a republican mother. More guns and more traditional roles for men and women is the way this country should be," said Joffrey
"Traditional roles are another of the few things I disagree with the Republicans on," stated Cersei. before continuing "Tommen, you are a Republican too, right?"
"To be honest, mom, I don't really care about politics. Most politicians are so cruel and corrupt. In fact, I could not think of a worse job than a job in politics, no offense Myrcella. Just not for me."
"None taken. Personally, on a large scale, I would agree, there is so much corruption. I'd much rather be a mayor and help out the local community,"
"I'm a democrat too, mom" stated Gemma.
"You're too young to care about politics," replied Cersei.
"Maybe so, but I know if Joffrey's the opposite, being democrat must be right."
"You should show more respect for your older brother. And do not think that pudding incident will go unpunished."
"But Joffrey started that whole thing by threatening Miss. Fluffles!"
"Yes, Joffrey will not go unpunished either, rest assured."
"You can't punish me, I'm an adult and I've come into my trust fund finally," replied Joffrey smirking.
"You will both do charity work, together as your punishments. It will look good for this family and teach you both not to waste food."
"I'd like to try to see anyone, even you, try to make me do anything," Joffrey replied amused.
Cersei sighed. It was a good thing Taena's husband was Joffrey's parole officer. She'd always been able to get the women to sway her husband to look the other way when he committed a parole violation, which he often did. Just this once she would have Joffrey ordered to do some charity work instead.
Finally, everyone had finished their meals and Tyrion was tasked with paying the check, Olenna, Margaery and Tommen said their goodbyes, as they had taken Olenna's limo. Joffrey had driven himself in his brand new fire red porche. hoping it would impress Margaery (it didn't). Cersei, Jaime, Myrcella, Trystane, and Gemma headed back to Cersei's limo while Tyrion was left in line to pay the check.
However, just as Myrcella and Trystane entered the limo, a voice rang out. "I cannot believe it's you!"
"Are you...Euron Greyjoy?" questioned Cersei stopping in front of the limo. She recognized him from the commercials with the dancing squids.
"In the flesh my lovely. I just had to come by once I heard the famous Cersei Baratheon was here. I'm glad I caught you in time."
"It's Cersei Lannister now, actually, I've gone back to my maiden name."
"Cersei, we need to get going," stated Jaime.
"And this man here, is this your personal servant?"
"This is my brother, Jaime."
"Really? Not what I excepted at all, given the rumors. Well, I must say, it's a relief to see that the rumors can't possibly be true."
"And why is that?" asked Jaime his temper rising.
"Well, perhaps I was wrong," he smirked.
"You are not telling me you believe those vicious lies the tabloids spread?" asked Cersei
"I neither believe or disbelieve, I like to gather the facts and form my own opinions. And is this your lovely young daughter here?"
"Yes, I'm Gemma. And I wanna tell you, your restaurant sucks. They wouldn't let me order a pizza without the calamari on it and the cheesy potatoes I ordered barely had any cheese on them."
"Oh, is that so? You know if you were an adult, I'd be tempted to cut your tongue out for such a rude comment. But, of course, I would never do such a horrid thing. You should, however, be more polite. I am sure your mother wouldn't approve of such rudeness. Would you?" he asked smiling charmingly at Cersei.
"Speaking of cut out tongues, we've heard the rumors regarding Euron Luck servers. Do all Euron Luck servers really not talk, and why?" asked Jaime curiously.
"The squid has their tongues I suppose you could say," he replied grinning widely
"So then shall we assume the rumors of what you do to your servers are true?" asked Jaime
"Are you asking because you want to apply for a job? Afraid you aren't quite what we're looking for," stated Euron.
"Hardly. Resturant business is far below that of a Lannister,"
"Ah yes, and what is it you've been doing again since you lost your senator position?"
"I didn't lose it, I went into early retirement."
"Of course, of course," replied Euron dismissively as Jaime fumed.
"Well, anyway, I would like to ask the lovely Ms. Lannister if she would like to accompany me for dinner sometime?"
At that Jaime's face got bright red and it took every ounce of strength in him to not pummel Euron to the ground. Surely Cersei would refuse.
"Well I..." she hesitated before continuing, "I'm kinda seeing someone, right now."
"That's fine with me. I'm sure you won't want to be seeing them anymore after a date with me, except maybe at family reunions," he stated glancing over at Jaime and smirking.
"I don't like what you're implying here," stated Cersei, annoyed.
"Just a little harmless joking, but seriously, dinner sometime?"
"She obviously isn't interested," stated Jaime, annoyed.
"Well, actually, now that I think about it, I am interested. Do you have something to write on?"
"Of course," he replied, smirking triumphantly as he pulled out a notepad and pen.
Cersei wrote a number down and handed it back to him, smiling. "Here is my number, give me a call sometime."
"I certainly will,"
As soon as they entered the limo Jaime pushed the button to put up the glass separating him, Cersei and Gemma from the others so that they could not hear the conversation. Then unable to control himself any longer he lit into Cersei.
"I can't believe you gave that creep your number. Do not even think about going out with him. I won't allow it."
"Relax. It will just be one date, I'll be the worst date ever, the media will be all over it and it will combat the rumors about us some."
"It's not gonna happen. You are not going out with him or any other man. I forbid it,"
"You can't forbid it."
"Mom?"
"Not now, Gemma, the adults are talking,"
"I just was wondering if the rumors about you and uncle Jaime are true..."
"Well, actually... " started Jaime before Cersei shot him a glare and continued, "Of course not. People will say anything to try to undermine us. To try to destroy our legacy. "
"Oh." she replied suspiciously, "But, why is uncle Jaime so upset about you giving Squid guy your number, and why don't either of you ever date anybody?"
"Well, I'm still grieving your father. As for uncle Jaime, well, can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure mom."
"Uncle Jaime is gay."
"I am not!"
"Oh, Jaime, shhh, it's okay. Gemma won't tell, will you Gemma?"
"No, I won't tell," replied Gemma not fully believing her mother.
"What is taking Tyrion so long?" asked Cersei annoyed, however, as she said that the limo door opened and in walked Tyrion.
"Miss me?"
"Hardly. I just want to get home already."
"Me too, back to your house I mean. I've missed my nieces and nephew and we still need to exchange gifts"
Cersei groaned inwardly and mentally prepared herself for a few more hours of dealing with her pest of a brother, as well as that horrid Tyrell girl.
Luckily, the rest of the evening went off with no problems, save for an awkward incident where Joffrey tried to gift Margaery some very expensive jewelry, which she refused to accept.
Later that night just after all the guests had left and shortly before her bedtime, Gemma was on her way to the restroom when she overheard her uncle Jaime arguing with her mother.
"You are not going out with that man. Just so we are clear. And I also cannot believe you told our daughter I was gay!"
"I cannot believe you almost told her the truth! How stupid are you? Do you realize the political favors father had to do to prevent the judge from issuing an order of paternity on Gemma? With him gone we are more vulnerable now. Stannis still is trying to get an order out for paternity on Gemma. "
"And so you pick something completely unbelievable to cover up our secret? Yeah, that's really smart."
"I don't think it's that unbelievable."
"Oh really? How pray tell, is me being gay at all believable? if you needed an excuse for why we're both single, you could've claimed to be a lesbian. With all the time you spend with that Merryweather whore that would be more believable then me being gay."
"Gemma is not gonna believe I am suddenly a lesbian, not when I have her and her three siblings and was married. It would not be believable! And I cannot believe you are still so jealous of Taena after all these years! Besides that, there were gay rumors about you many years ago long before the incest rumors started."
"Rumors because everyone is jealous of my good looks."
"Rumors because you've never dated anybody and you spend more time on your hair then I do,"
"Hair that you really love. Well... perhaps I should show you how not gay I am..."
Gemma smiled, she knew it was true. She's always felt the rumors must be true. She wouldn't tell, not ever. Still, maybe this could be leverage to get the pony she'd always wanted. Then she corrected herself. Ponies were for little girls. Mother would get her a horse. She walked away just before hearing her parent's argument turn into makeup sex