BEGINNING OF ESCAPE ARC.

Chapter 35: Stampy's Secret.

"EEP." Cassie decides this is her time to bolt, she pulls the door almost closed again, but keeps just a tiny crack open for her ear.

"And it wuz gud." Petra muses.

"You can say that again." Lukas agrees.

"It was the first piece of ass I've gotten in over a thousand years." Ivor remarks, 'cause their days, and in turn, their years, are fucked, "I was practically a virgin once more."

(Dear readers, because we love you, we did the fucking math to figure out how long that really is:

24 hours = 20* minutes, therefore: 1,440 minutes = 20 minutes, therefore 1 unit of RLT (real life time) = 72 units of MCT (minecraft time), example, 1 RLT day = 72 MCT days

*We had earlier stated that Minecraft days were 17 minutes long, this is incorrect, I had read that daytime was 10m and nighttime 7m, I was unaware at the time that Sunset/Sunrise were separate from daytime and added 1.5m each.

365.25 RLT days in 1 RLT year = 26,298 MCT days in 1 RLT year

1,000 RLT years = 72,000 MCT years

We can now inverse the process of the last equation, and divide 1,000 MCT years by 72 in order to learn it's equivalent in RLT years.

13.888888 RLT years = 1,000 MCT years, therefore: 5,073 RLT days = 1,000 MCT years

He has gone nearly fourteen RLT years without sex.)

"Ugggh, gross, gross, gross, gross...!" Lizzie hisses as she retrieves a spare map from her pile of clothes, using it to wipe away all the jizz from her body.

"Stampy? what was... that?" Stacy asks her boyfriend, gesturing to everything.

"I couldn't move, Stacy!" Stampy stresses, "she was holding me there, I couldn't just pull out like we planned! it was the only thing I could think to do! I didn't mean to hit you guys, but I couldn't just sit back and let it happen!" Stampy takes a breath, "she... she just couldn't get pregnant, under any circumstances..."

"Oh..." Stacy understands "alright then, it's cool."

"Oh, good..." Stampy's relieved, "did you wanna go get our stuff and get out now?"

"Yes." Stacy nods firmly "very much so."

"Okay." Stampy starts walking over to their piles of clothes, carefully pulling off his hoodie and placing it aside so he can put on his green shirt underneath it.

"Dan...?" Lukas starts softly, grinning as he leans over the crying mess "are you... okay, Dan? something got you down?"

Dan stops crying, but only so his eyes can go wide with immediate trauma, his entire body frozen as he listens to his worst tormentor.

"You know you don't have to cry anymore, Dan." Lukas soothes "it's over, we're all finished, you're going to... leave, soon."

"Go away..." Dan breathes.

"Excuse me?" Lukas' grin disappears, his eyes narrowing.

"GO, AWAY." Dan snaps "DON'T TALK TO ME AS IF WE'RE... WE'RE..."

"Lovers?" Lukas' grin returns.

"ANYTHING GOOD!" Dan finishes, distraught.

"Ooh, but we are something good." Lukas coos, loving the torment "we made beautiful, sweet love together, more than once if you'll recall."

"Dan! ignore him, just get up and get dressed!" Lizzie instructs while she reaffixes her skirt "the sooner we're all ready to head back out, the better!"

"Hey! sexslave-fucktoys don't give orders!" Petra protests.

"They do once the JOB IS DONE." Lizzie snarls, not giving an inch "I'm not your plaything anymore, that time's passed, from now on I'm Lizzie, a human being worthy of respect and dignity, and someone you are contractually obligated to protect."

"Damn, Lizzie doesn't fool around." Stacy's impressed, then turns to Stampy "I'll go throw my clothes on, be right back, 'K, sweetie?"

"Okay, baby." Stampy nods.

Stacy goes to gather her clothes, leaving Stampy pretty much alone in his little area of the room.

"Oh my god I can't wait to do this shit again...!" Jesse expresses as she gets to her feet, a grinning, wet, sweaty, sticky mess "each fuckpuzzle is better than the last."

"Yeah, I enjoyed it too, a lot more than I was expecting." Petra agrees, raising her hand "up high, sis?"

"To the motherfucking sky." Jesse hits Petra's hand with her own.

"ERRRRRRM." it burns Stampy up inside to see that sneaky bitch so pleased with herself, so far tonight most of his anger has been directed towards Dan, but that stunt he had to pull, and the fact that Jesse was a much bigger direct cause of tonight's misery, was finally making his anger towards her catch up.

She RAPED me! not even Dan has ever raped me! and she's repeatedly tried to bend or disregard the rules of our agreement, 'sorry, Stace, Lukas doesn't have to hold back', 'oh, don't worry, Stampy, we'll make sure the sex is safe', PAH! what a bunch of hooey! I hope the next group of people she does this to just kills her stupid gang, good riddance! he thinks as he gets dressed, finishing with angrily snatching his hoodie back up off the floor.

Clink-ding-dink. the green enchanted flint and steel fall out of his hoodie's pocket, hitting the floor in full view of everyone.

BOOM. instantly every single other person's eyes are on it.

"*gaaaaaassssssp*!" Stampy covers his mouth in horror at what he's done.

Jesse's gang seem mildly interested, but the other YouTubers are all staring in shock, most of all... Dan.

Stacy's shock is just over how HE JUST DROPPED THE THINGS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, she already knew he had it.

"UMMM...!" Stampy starts sweating up a storm "wh-what the...!? how... how did THAT get in here!?" he pretends to gape in awe at his hoodie.

Dan's wide, shocked eyes, raise up from his stolen items, and narrow squarely on the deceitful cat burglar that wronged him so.

"Yooouuu...!" Dan grinds his teeth "I... knew, it was you...!"

"Oh, did you now, Dan!?" Stampy screws his innocent act and gets aggressive "well, what are you gonna do about it, fuckboy!? offer your ass to me like you did Lukas!?"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Dan screams as he grabs his nearby pants and pulls out a diamond sword "GIVE ME BACK WHAT'S MINE!"

"Jesse!" Stampy calls, scurrying away, "Stacy!"

"Time to fuck his shit, guys." Jesse laughs.

"Al-right!" Petra cheers.

"What...!?" Dan's somehow surprised by this "are you crazy!? HE'S the thief! he might steal from you one day, help ME!"

"Sorry, Dan, but you see, we made an extra side deal with Stampy Cat." Lukas really wants to be the one to tell him "basically, you know the deal we made with you? total bullshit."

"It means nothing!" Jesse laughs.

"Our plan was to kill you from the start." Ivor adds coldly "after... using you, of course."

"W-WHA-AT!?" Dan stammers, growing terrified, at both his being outnumbered, and the realization that he took Lukas' cock for nothing.

"Oh, come on, Dan, it's pretty easy to understand." Jesse encourages, "you're just... never gonna leave, you'll die here, judged and found guilty of murdering TorqueDawg and Captain Sparklez, Stampy, Stacy, and Lizzie here will all go free, but you Dan, well, let's just say that somebody has to take the fall."

"B-but I didn't kill them!" Dan protests "you'll be letting the real killer go free!"

"Sounds like an acceptable plan to me." Ivor shrugs "especially considering how... *BOOM. lightning bolt* I killed Captain Sparklez!"

"WHAAAT!?" Dan and Lizzie both gape.

"But you didn't have a button!" Lizzie points out.

"No, but my... acquaintance, did." Ivor snickers.

"I told you I never pushed my button." Lukas smirks "I just never said it wasn't my button that was pushed."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Dan's getting really into the profanity "Cassie was right!"

"Yep, thanks for taking the fall for me, Dan." Lukas expresses his gratitude "by tomorrow, we'll have Cassie convinced that it was you, and it will be your name that she drags through the mud to the papers, I really can't express how much I owe you for this, it's thanks to your sacrifice that I'm going to go on to fuck another man's ass in the future, I hope he's as tight as you."

"Heh, dumb Cassie." Petra laughs "she got it right, but then she'll have it wrong, so dumb..."

"NEVER!" Cassie screams as she bursts through the door "it is YOU who has it wrong!"

"CASSIE!?" everybody reacts.

"How much did you see!?" Stacy questions.

"EVERYTHING! I saw the fuckpuzzle, I saw the... after the fuckpuzzle." she loses her groove.

"You did!?" Jesse gapes, not scared, or shocked, just frustrated "FUCK! if we knew you would just know about it anyway, then we could've just added you to it! we could've had a Petra sandwich!"

"SHITTY BITCH!" Petra curses "that would've been great!"

"Well... now I'll cut you! like a sandwich!" Cassie threatens, drawing her diamond ax "I've got your back, Dan!"

"Mmm..." Lukas hums "I'd like to cut some sandwiches and send them up into the sky."

"Then we'd have..." Jesse grins "heavenly sandwiches."

"SHUT UP!" Dan snaps, "for fuck's sake! just SHUT, THE, FUCK, UP! take us seriously, we're threatening you!" he then turns to Cassie "oh my god, thank you so much! I can never repay you for this, Cass."

"Gay." Petra's an asshole.

"Coming from the girl who just had lesbo sex." Cassie snarks "and wanted lesbo sex sandwich."

"Oh, you sassy bitch." Petra narrows her eyes.

"Well, I guess we'll be laying the blame on two people." Jesse shrugs "fine by me! we were going to kill you later on anyway, Cassie, just so you know."

"We hadn't forgotten what you almost did to me." Ivor growls.

"Stampy, Stacy, you two cutesies stay out of this, me and the gang will take care of the dweebs." Jesse offers, Petra handing her a diamond sword, all four of Jesse's gang were still naked as they arm themselves with diamond swords from Petra's armor heap.

"Tsk! fine by me." Stacy had been ready to kill Dan to protect Stampy, but this is fucking better.

"We'll just stay out of your way." Stampy agrees.

"LIZZAY!" Dan whines "are you with us!? PLEEEASE!"

"Come on, Liz!" Cassie urges "the revolution can still work out!"

"..." Lizzie silently bows her head, and steps away from them.

"Lizzie!?" they fret.

"Good girl!" Jesse chimes "I see someone who knows what they need to do to survive."

"Yes..." Lizzie nods "I must survive..."

"No...!" Dan whines "NOOOOOO-"

"And to do that, I must DO THIS!"-twang! Lizzie suddenly whips out a bow and arrow, draws, and fires.

THWACK! the arrow embeds itself right into the middle of Petra's head.

"PETRA!?" Jesse's eyes stretch wide and her face flushes pale.

Poll Results!

"Which characters would you most like to see die?"

1. Jesse. 3 Vote(s). (37.5%)

2. Petra. 3 Vote(s). (37.5%)

3. Ivor. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

4. Lukas. 2 Vote(s). (25%)

5. Stampy. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

6. Stacy. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

7. Dan. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

8. Lizzie. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

9. Cassie. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

Total Votes: 8.

Total Voters: 3.

Wow! We all knew Jesse was king of the hate train, but now we see Petra is right up there too! How po-si-tively fa-ci-nating! Thank you all so much for voting! (Also, seems Ivor is the least hated out of Jesse's gang, but we gotta wonder, if you could vote for four, would he have gotten some votes, or is he the same as the fucktoys? Probably... the former.)

What an ending that one had, ey? Almost looks like you guys are getting what you want. XD Petra has been shot in the head by Lizzie, and now Jesse's gang are down a member! It's 3-on-3 next week as Jesse, Ivor, and Lukas take on Lizzie, Dan, and Cassie. But the big question on our mind (and our poll) is, "Which side will our heroes, Stampy and Stacy, decide to take?" The malicious but powerful Jesse's Gang, or the virtuous but disadvantaged return of Lizzie's Revolution!? Vote for your prediction now!